InvidiaRed

From InBrightestDay on October 29, 2023 Beyond the Monster Isles Well...it's been a while, hasn't it? Figured even if I don't contribute, I should review both of these by Halloween, so I'll start with yours! It is always a treat, and always a pleasure. Warning, this review will contain SPOILERS This one doesn't feel particularly Halloween-themed, but the story itself is pretty cool nonetheless. It kind of reminds me of some of Robert E. Howard's Conan stories, though it's hard to say why beyond a sort of feeling: something about the tone and the harshness of the fantasy world. That actually ties into something I found myself pleasantly surprised by. When Berta's husbands are first mentioned, the way they were talked about felt a little callous, a bit "Well, they should have listened..." It reinforced that feel of the world, of course, and it was clear that Berta misses her first husband at least, but it felt a little unpleasant. I think what is most fascinating is… that’s who’ve I’ve started reading. So needless to say when the old man (Polis?) decides to dunk on them some more and Berta's like "Oh, don't you say SHIT about my husbands!" that was a very nice turn of events. She was trying to deescalate right up until he had the audacity to speak the name of her child that she told no one. That was the exact heartbeat, he had to go. As for the story itself, I feel it's evidence of your continued improvement as an author. A problem that some of your other stories faced was that the shorts would feel like they were part of a much larger story we didn't have, and moreover that they were difficult to understand without the broader context, the feeling of "This story is assuming I've read something else already..." I always strive to improve, well that and getting an actual map for the book lol. Beyond the Monster Isles feels far more readily accessible and self-contained. It does venture a bit into that territory with some of the stuff on the island (not sure what was up with the piranha visions or the thing that picks up Berta when she dies), but overall the story felt like it generally told me what I needed to know, and what was out of focus didn't need to be in focus. There's also some really cool visual imagery, especially the bit where the ship gets lifted into the air and then disintegrated. All in all, nicely done! Thank you. I’ll go more in detail in my own thread.

From GeorgeGlass on October 30, 2023 "Beyond the Monster Isles" by InvidiaRed Wildly imaginative, as I've come to expect from IR. Some of the punctuation and capitalization is a bit random, which slowed my reading down a little, but the characters are inventive (I particularly liked the dwarven sea captain), and the ending is satisfying. Indeed! Very randy but his honor is beyond question. A privateer versus angel could only go one way.

From GeorgeGlass on October 30, 2023 "Beyond the Monster Isles" by InvidiaRed Wildly imaginative, as I've come to expect from IR. Some of the punctuation and capitalization is a bit random, which slowed my reading down a little, but the characters are inventive (I particularly liked the dwarven sea captain), and the ending is satisfying. Indeed! Very randy but his honor is beyond question.

42897! behold the sacred seven. The prime and indivisible

42891! Onwards ye black crusade!!

42885! Behold odd once more!

If the creature is sapient no. If there is a clear discrepancy of thought between them yes.

42879 Ah! the last number before the change!

42875! Behold another odd! For one cannot exist without the other and implies a number both odd and even.

That was quite the treat! Or was it trick? Might try sex in mine after all.

This is where they’ll be ❤️

42863! Behold back to even once more! For that is the steps odd to even and back again for all time!

42843! Behold three!

forty two thousand eight hundred and thirty nine! 42839! Ah! The beauty of nine.

42831!

42829 Forty Two Thousand Eight Hundred and Twenty Nine! For the number ends in nine and thus nine shall be its number.

https://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600110337

42791 By the waggling of thine tongue something tasty this way comes.

42785 Behold, the sound of drums and all they proclaim is war.

I’ll happily post when there’s someone else or this weekend haha!