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"Things were going great until I got her back to my quarters and found her planet's people have a pussy like a Buddha's Hand. Captain James T Kirk signing off." "Captain's Log Addendum: Armpit. That is all."

As a writer dabbing into sexual fields i found that there was a lot that i did not know or understand, thanks to the many fine women on here they have helped me to hopefully write a story that they would at least be able to enjoy as much as i did writing it. This thread is a attempt to help other writers not turn their story into a bad porno/hentai story with lines that make readers scratch their heads trying to figure out what is actually going on instead of enjoying the story. Breasts: i have learned, thanks to the many women on this very site, NOT to refer to breasts as fruit if you want to generally have women readers also enjoy your story, that said the same goes for referring to a mans dick as meat related products unless this is all part of conversation. as a reader seeing a variety of sizes referenced helps to make a story more interesting, there are no copies of the same body types, how many characters can you read about who have breasts the size of a basket ball, even if that is your fetish, i tends to be a bad thing if every woman looks like that. it should also be noted, according to the women i had talked to, referring to a woman's bra size does not actually give a proper description for the breasts himself, it confused me for a while as i tried to understand that as many people use the DDs and C cups etc to try and describe the sizes, so as i was told, dont do it. Breasts can be described as. Globes, Mounds and many other terms, most can be found here. http://home.epix.net/~jlferri/breasts.html Cum: Another thing i have learned is the use of terms to describe when a man or woman has an orgasum. the use of bad porn/hentai terms isnt a good one to use. Love juices for example, just makes me want to laugh even if the person is talking, its foolish to use. also having characters cum by the buckets that they could fill a bathtub with it in one orgasm tends to not be a good thing, nothing wrong with characters producing larger amounts, but there is a line that should be considered. Dicks: Reading a story where a guys dick is beyond reason, large is also not a good thing to use, even if it is a fictional story like an anime or something, a guy with a 8" - 16" dick doesn't work very well, first off the size could and would cause the woman unimaginable pain, penetrating into a womans womb may sound awesome, but unless its some kind of a tentacle monster, a solid hard dick is going to have to break through the cervix, then there is anal and oral, the poor girl is going to be on a one way trip to the hospital and probably not coming back. referring to a guys dick as a meat product, unless its part of a conversation or thought process of a character/s tends to have the same result as referring to a woman's breasts as fruit or other round objects, it distracts from the story as it can make the reader stop to think about it. At this time, this is all i have but please feel free to add things to this thread of the do and dont do, over all there is nothing stopping someone from doing any of it, but for the people that want to try and become a better writer like i am trying to, consider what you have and are reading here.

I think I have just found an exception to my rule...

Aww...

I think Coyote makes some very good points, although I will admit that I do try not to make fun of men. I'm devoutly het, despite a penchant for writing slash, and on the whole I quite enjoy men. I'm also willing to laugh at myself just as quickly, and try not to treat one gender as superior. But on the whole, I think any intelligent reader wants a little character development, unless you're just in one of those PWP moods. Otherwise, it's like being a little kid again, and vowing that when you grow up, you'll have dessert for dinner every night. After a while, it starts to get boring, and frankly unappealing. And I stand by my assertion that fruit should not be used to describe a woman's anatomy.

Okay, that's a decent list, actually, and you'll notice that there is NO fruit mentioned at all. This is GOOD. We are not a salad bar, after all. You have two of your women being C cup, and that measurement, 36 and 42, refers to the band, or the part of the bra that wraps around the body. I'm going to assume those are inch measurements, since we're talking adult women here. 42 inches for a band is a woman with a wide back and a broad build. If that's what you're going for, that's great, but... Marilyn Monroe wore a 36D. Salma Hayek is a 36C. Kim Kardashian is a 32DD. Katy Perry is a 32D. So, you see, it's the cup size that's the fullness of the breast, not the band. For visuals, read this. As I said in the shoutbox, and I'll repeat it here for any other curious authors, I myself prefer not to be told a specific size for breasts, or for penises. I have a terrific imagination. That's why I'm a writer, because I have all these imaginary worlds and people in my head. So, give my imagination something to do when I'm reading. If you describe breasts as "lush," I'm going to have an image in my head that is pleasing and sexy. If you tell me the breasts are 36DD, I'm going to start thinking about how I should probably check and see if Victoria's Secret is having any good sales, or maybe I can look online... and you've lost me. I'm shopping, not reading your story. Engage your readers by engaging their imaginations, not by writing a catalog.