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Showing content with the highest reputation on 06/19/2019 in all areas

  1. Keep yer fingers crossed that we get staffing issues finally settled for where I work. It has been BRUTAL. Sixty hours worked since Saturday. And I’m not done.
    6 points
  2. “Hey sis! How’d it go with that new girl?” “I hoped her touch would be amazing because she’s a musician.” “And?” “She only plays the theremin.”
    2 points
  3. Hey, @InBrightestDay and thank you so much! Thank you for reading, even if it is out of your comfort zone. I’m entirely responsible for Nina’s age, and it’s interesting to think back and imagine what she would be thinking and feeling. But we wanted to try and write about two characters first and foremost, so if you do stick with it, be prepared for this to go a lot deeper. As for Ray, he absolutely does realise, and I think ordinarily nothing would happen here. But this is fiction, so we are just having a little fun as the Gods of this world, and watching what unfolds, so I’m really happy that it seems to be just happening, rather than being forced. I hope you will root for Ray and Nina by the end. Together, they are more than their age difference
    2 points
  4. There are genderless nouns that could be used in place of a name if the name is unknown. “The stranger”, “The figure”, or for example, using a nickname, like if she described them as ghostlike, then calling them the ‘phantom’, or something more in line with the narrator’s personality. Sorry, I’m sticking my nose in late to the convo but I do love to hear myself type!
    2 points
  5. http://www.ladbible.com/news/animals-aussie-couple-find-huntsman-spider-eating-pygmy-possum-20190617 That’s not a sight you want to see.
    1 point
  6. Sorry for the misunderstanding! I felt bad leaving the reviews that fast myself, so I read your statement wrong partly out of guilt. I will definitely continue reading!
    1 point
  7. lol… I’ve only just realised how that sounds. Of course I meant I hope you will continue reading!
    1 point
  8. Apologies for doing all the reviews so quickly, but I wanted to get caught up before the next chapter was posted. Oh, age difference isn’t really a problem. I mean, my longest running story (which I have vowed to finish by the end of July!) features an eighteen year old boy paired with a fourteen billion year old woman, so compared to that Ray and Nina are practically the same age. The thing that made me uncomfortable during Chapter 2 was really just the question of how consensual this was. The whole reason the age of consent exists in the first place, after all, is that sometimes younger people are mentally more vulnerable to being forced or manipulated into sex, and I misunderstood what you were doing with Nina’s thought process and thought Ray might be coercing her into sex, which was where the Bad Touch feelings popped up. Of course… ...that was the key component I was missing, that it was Nina thinking “Wait, what am I doing?” rather than “Wait, what is he doing?” The subsequent chapters did a lot to change my mind on the pairing, and definitely reassured me that Ray is ultimately a good guy. Yeah. I’m definitely going to have to check out more of Melrick’s work in the future! I was just joking. When it comes to what one finds aesthetically pleasing, it’s all a matter of personal preference. Definitely. I imagine the titular awakenings are more Nina’s, as a pubescent girl just now experiencing sexual attraction for the first time, though it could to some extent apply to Ray, I suppose. Again, that was mostly intended as a joke, though my reaction was kind of like: Me: Okay, I’m genuinely starting to accept that this relationship could work. For this story, I think I’m getting over the “fourteen year old” thing. Ray: Even if she were 13… Me: Don’t push it, man. I think I will. In spite of my reaction to Chapter 2, I actually am rooting for these two now.
    1 point
  9. Although I will not have the honor of adult breasts impugned! They're magical things and I am not budging on that front. Anyway, I liked how awkward this is for both of them, and not just in the sense of Ray thinking about the fact that he's about to have sex with a fourteen year old. He’d understood that he was in too deep at this stage to care about whether she was 15, 14 or even 13. ...Goddamnit it, Ray. Anyway, what I was getting at is that he's honestly just kind of awkward around members of the opposite sex to begin with, which works to sort of complement Nina's awkwardness over her lack of sexual experience. So yeah, I'm now actually looking forward to how things go next chapter! And lastly… for now, hopefully… lol… I will not say a word about breasts, or we’ll be here all day. But they are kind of equal in being awkward, so I’m glad that comes across. Ray is extremely lonely, and he’s not having an easy time of it even without having a girl throw herself in his way... and Nina is so terribly curious. “Goddamnit Ray” made me laugh though. I hope you enjoy the rest Thank you so much!
    1 point
  10. That made me laugh. Truer words... Thank you for this one too! I’m glad that their communication made you feel better about them. Well, he has been worried about those consequences, so they’ve been at the front of his mind. Even though Melrick and I are really making him go there. He doesn’t mean to do any harm. Ah… Melrick made you laugh… (points)
    1 point
  11. FUNNY YOU SHOULD SAY THAT, RAY. Again, I am glad that Ray caught onto what he was doing and backed off, especially considering that this was moving far too fast for Nina there. Still, it's not a good sign when his self-control is that tenuous. It does make me wonder how we as readers are meant to see Ray's actions. The first chapter made him seem like a decent guy, but are we meant to see him that way, or as something for more disturbing? It's definitely something to think about. Anyway, I will be back for the next chapter. Hey again, and thank you! Well… I think she was more frightened of herself just then. She hasn’t been in any situation like this before, but she’s also very daring. It’s amazing how easy it is to get right out of your depth… lol. Silly Nina! But Ray is a good guy really. He’d never hurt her or deliberately scare her. He’s not thinking rationally at all right now.
    1 point
  12. Thank you so much, @JayDee – I’m so glad you liked it. I’m glad you noticed the comparison of playing the instrument and the lover. They both do involve a kind of purposeful caress.
    1 point
  13. The Super Sabre reference is actually quite obscure. I reada comic arc as teenager when the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants manage to secure position as a government sponsored “superhero” team named Freedom Force. This group of “reformed” villains does some minor good deeds here and there, but mostly they serve as enemy team for X-men and the Avengers when the plot need an extra fight. Super Sabre is a mercenary that joins the team to escape prison. Over time lots of villains and minor super heroes serve in the Freedom Force, but eventually the government scrap the initiative and replace it with X-Factor. When I needed powers for a opposing team for the G.S.P. story Super Sabre came to mind. As for inspiration for the others the character I can mention a few. Mesh draws inspiration from Bureau 13...a very horrible computer game...but I liked the battle suit that the heroes fail to make use of in any sensible fashion. I think there is roleplaying game that is the source material of the world setting, but my irritation about the stupid game killed my interest. Entrope’s power draws inspiration from the X-men hero Bishop mixed with the villain Sebastian Shaw. Bio is basically inspired by the Marvel character Madame Hydra even though the Marvel character has no real powers but uses technology to do stuff. Cyclone’s flight was inspired by X-men character Banshee...but I later realized that there of course is a Marvel villain named Cyclone with the same powers as my character. As for Firefly the inspiration is Marvels Firestar...except I learned about the character in animated series where her power was very nerfed down and not over the top flexible like in the comics. I have later learnt that Firefly actually in the comic use the alias Firefly for a timeperiod. :-) Thundercloud is kind of based on Captain Brittain in Excalibur (that super hero really have very different power depending on comic) with the removal of the flight power and different vulnerabilities. It might be good to have the heroes highlight this point at some point in the story. I will see if I can find some scene where it does not intrude on the actual action. Very true. :-) Yep..quite horror materialto that scene. Thundercloud is not as his best there...but basically back in the days he offered to skip his by then very successful superhero career and the comforts of civilization to be with her. She rejected him since she wanted more to become a super hero more than to be with him...in fact she preferred to be a young superhero even if that meant Thundercloud would be old or dead when they learned to control her powers. Given this background and she suddenly being a villain for no obvious reason when she returns...not the best day for Thundercloud.
    1 point
  14. That would be a fair reaction.
    1 point
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