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Showing content with the highest reputation on 03/10/2019 in all areas

  1. Jude's Tale (original title Fate of a Fagottist) Thank you for the review! It’s good of you to stick with the story and provide the feedback. I guess Kizzy has a plan, like the A-Team’s Hannibal she loves it when a plan comes together. That’s one of the way she thinks things through more than Shannon who just likes coming together – I think she has fantasies like that about most people, but of course the Angels are inhumanly beautiftul/handsome so... I’m glad it made you laugh – it took me years after her first apperance to decide the name Shannon originally had, and in the end that seemed the most hilariously inappropiate one. I’ve actually done the first chunk of a story called The Fall of Chastia which from BronxWench’s guidance I’d have to post in the Books section as it features some Biblical angels as active characters and Lucifer’s rebellion. I hope to get it done! She’s been bound within a statue as Luzurial was at the end of Whore of Heaven but she isn’t in any pain. As the Duchess mentioned earlier, it actually was Kizurial who gave the order that no angel should release Luzurial from Eparlegna’s statue as a further punishment for Luzurial disobeying the creator’s order to leave humanity to face Eparlegna alone. Kizurial was assigned to Earth by her Creator a relatively short time later, to deal with the kind of supernatural slumber party killer you might normally see an ordinary angel dealing with, and then needed to stay there, because she hadn’t returned Shannon to Hell, or granted her oblivion. These things may not be unconnected. The creator has plans too… The Principality (who I alone have imagined with a Welsh accent) unaware of Shannon’s friendship and service with Kizurial, sees herself as applying Kizurial’s ‘justice’ to a demon who escaped Hell, although not being a demon herself hasn’t subjected Shannon to horrible tortures first. Shannon’s fate could just get very dull, bound in the statue, watching people going about their lives in a park somewhere, if Shannon doesn’t have some kind of succubus-power infused toy in there to keep her entertained until she is released… Tolkien had a great sense of continuity, I barely keep continuity within the same scene I just can’t write so good as some of you other folks on here. You and BronxWench or George – and InBrightestDay paints much better word pictures than I do! Still, I don’t feel bad because I get to enjoy your writing (or be deeply unsettled and actually have a frickin’ nightmare after the last one… But that can be enjoyable too, s’like a free horror movie.)
    2 points
  2. I'll respond to reviews for my Inside Out story "That Gleam in Her Eye" here.
    1 point
  3. There’s actually an additional aspect to the sadness. Shannon states that this is never to be her home again. While it’s never stated explicitly, it’s implicit in the setting that if demons are fallen angels, then they can redeem themselves. It would explain why Luzurial offered to let Eparlegna leave peacefully in spite of how she must have felt about what he was doing to her mortal charges: erasing him from existence removes whatever tiny chance of redemption he may have (this also adds to the tragedy of Luzurial suffering horribly for being nice), and would explain why the Fallen were exiled instead of killed, since exile allows them to contemplate their mistake and potentially repent. Last but not least, it would mean Kizzy likely scored some points for her ultimate decision not to kill Shannon. So Shannon’s assumption that she can never go home is especially sad because, in spite of her genuinely kind heart, she appears to have assumed that she is beyond redemption. This raises another question. Back in The Slumber Party of Evil Doom, Shannon only recognized Eparlegna as a demon who had wreaked havoc on an alternate Earth, which begs the question: does she know what happened to her commanding officer and mentor? When I said things were going to be awkward when Kizzy got out of the lake, I had meant for that Principality (and also for Jude if he wakes up), but things might get really awkward for Kizzy and Shannon as well. Shannon: What was up with that whole statue thing? Kizzy: You may wish to sit down...
    1 point
  4. I hoped the opening line wouldn’t upset you, it was my reaction at the end! Thank you for taking an idea I’d never have gotten anywhere with and making something of it!
    1 point
  5. She definitely had distinctly impure, indeed downright mucky, thoughts about her commander Luzurial in the old days. And most of her comrades. And herself. I’ve basically got the ending written out but need to get it together and write the things that brought her to that point and if I don’t, well, the ending was fun to write! And it’s nice of you to say so, it really is, but I even have trouble writing the damn gore these days! I mean, look at this story here, someone’s been stabbed in the stomach and nobody even tried to fuck them as they were suffering. What the hell kind of JD story is this? ...oh now I remember the Ace story. Yeah, that one was fucked up.
    1 point
  6. I had a little daydream that she started having sexual thoughts while training with Luzurial when you mentioned that memory… now I wonder what the actual story is! Just stop right there. There are a handful of authors that I read, and you are one. That number dwindles down still further when I’m actively writing stories myself, but you remain up there. Every now and again I delve into your back catalogue for a treat, because you’re written things that will stay with me forever (as I write this, I am thinking particularly of the Ace story in DW, and the one with the disembowelling crocodile rape monster thing, which I enjoyed even though I don’t know the fandom). Plus I adore your sense of humour.
    1 point
  7. Thank you so much, InBrightestDay! I am not sure I deserve these reviews, but I’ll try and answer your points, so here goes: I’m afraid the lack of body horror later in the story is entirely down to my own limitations as a writer. I wanted to put it in (I’d been looking forward to that very thing), and I had no compunction about inflicting it on the character, but I found I couldn’t do it without losing the emotional and psychological resonance. I mean, Guy N Smith is one of my heroes, and he can do this with ease. He’s written a number of favourite gory horror scenes, and it kills me that I can’t emulate him. In the end, I had to begin with a little, and heavily hint at more later on, which is kind of personally disappointing to me. George is unlikeable to me because he’s an out and out capitalist, and I’m the complete opposite. Writing his pov – sympathetically – for me, required some pretty hefty suspension of belief. I still feel dirty. *shudders* As to the comparison, I think I did say the elemental is also an emissary. It was probably created just for this, to communicate some kind of dissatisfaction. That likely meant it was able to relate to George on a much smaller, human, and more petty level. I’m glad you liked it. I have to admit, though, I was much happier with how ‘The Price’ turned out. This was difficult, but I think it was also good practice. In time to come, I’m sure I’ll realise I learned a lot from it. Thank you!
    1 point
  8. Jude's Tale (original title Fate of a Fagottist) reviews! And let’s try the at-symbol for these… Thank you for coming back to review, I surely appreciate it. I guess the status of Shannon’s pass is now more obvious… Can’t fool the entrance! Thanks! I specifically went as vague as possible beyond it having a lot of souls there, and the necessary lake which I had an idea was one of the earliest/oldest parts of the creation of Paradise. The earlier references to perception, such as over the wall, also work as a bit of a saving throw – if another character sees/experiences things differently then it can still work! Also, I needed to fit in the word klaxon and it felt as good a way as any. I also didn’t use Heaven as a term to be a little less specific. Don’t know if it worked, but eh. I can't describe how hard I was laughing at this, partly because of Spock's Brain being used as punishment, and partly because of the shenanigans. I mean, the idea of Kizzy getting a dating profile is moderately funny (and kind of sweet), but imagining what a profile for her designed by Shannon would look like is hilarious. Thank you! This is one of those things a character says, like with Kate and her claim she was bitten by a metalhead, that might be them just messing around or might actually have happened – I could see Shannon doing it with Kizzy’s interests at heart, so there could be a story there sometime. Plus, I too just found it a little funny. I figured actually being back there might hit Shannon harder than she expected. It’s been billions of years, and she’s trying to be a decent, but still she is the enemy, the betrayer of her duty who fell at the dawn of things. Oh that is going to be so awkward when Kizzy gets out of the lake. Kizzy: You did what? Principality: It was your idea! And the ending of this part was why I decided to put the reference to Luzurial being trapped in the statue in back in part 2, otherwise it would just come out of nowhere. Since Shannon isn’t in constant agony and wasn’t horribly tortured first, she’s a lot better off than Luzurial. Besides “It was your idea!” (Also, heh ) The Principality has the argument that Shannon was cast down to Hell and made her way back in further than any demon ever managed, so restraining her in a different way was more appropriate. This also prevents her sharing how she got through the entrance before the Angels can figure it out. The whole thing ties in with the idea I had that there might have been a certain amount of bad feeling towards Kizurial, so when Shannon uses her name it encourages the Principality to mete out a harsher punishment than usual for breaking back into Paradise. That’s all stuff Kizzy needs to recognise and come to terms with, and ultimately, try to make amends for. Thanks! The likelihood is that there is one more chapter to go, but I did have some ideas for a penultimate chapter. I’ve started on it and if I think it works there’ll be two more to go. I dunno. I just hope the ending makes sense and isn’t disappointing. But, eh, I’m having fun writing it.
    1 point
  9. Re: “Mia: Confessions of a Dickgirl” From JayDee on March 07, 2019 Spoilery is just fine as long as you start with a spoiler warning. Thanks for asking! I was trying to make Fay pretty different from the other gals Mia has nailed so far. Glad you liked her! You’d be surprised how nerdily I researched poker and did the math on Mia’s card-marking (not a spoiler, it’s in the chapter title) so I could figure out how much of an advantage she would have at various points in the game. Thank you! And thanks for your continued support.
    1 point
  10. I've just posted chapter 4 of “Mia: Confessions of a Dickgirl,” betaed by renowned dickgirl expert @JayDee. I’m having a lot of fun writing this story.
    1 point
  11. Yes, chapter 2 of Wishful is posted. Jomahawk, for whom I’m writing this story, said it was pretty much everything he hoped for, so I’m happy with it. SWP1, I’ve got plans to see Captain Marvel this Saturday. Have been looking forward to it ever since the end of Infinity War. As for The More the Merrier...no spoilers.
    1 point
  12. From Nytefyre on March 04, 2019 Thanks! It just seemed logical that sexual pleasure would be in Joy’s domain (while anxiety about sex is in Fear’s, and body-shame is in Sadness’, and so on). Thanks for reading and reviewing!
    1 point
  13. Re: “Wishful” From Jomahawk2694 on March 03, 2019 My pleasure! I’m glad it’s living up to your expectations.
    1 point
  14. Re: “Wishful” From JayDee on March 03, 2019 Why, thank you. I don't do a lot with male exhibitionism in my stories, but it seemed like the thing to use here. Jomahawk, for whom I'm writing this story (as a thank-you for all the beta-reading he's done for me), asked specifically for that to happen in this scene. I figured that King Jace's sexual prowess would have to come from more than just size and stamina. He's the kind of kid who always wants to impress the king. Angelica didn't even get a mention in chapter 1 (except indirectly at the end, when Jace hears someone outside the Queen Mother's chamber door), so I thought I should hurry up and establish her in this chapter. No prob. Thanks for reading and reviewing!
    1 point
  15. Thank you so much, Jaydee I really didn’t expect to get an in-depth review like this, and you’ve made me very happy. As I said in the author’s note, I really didn’t like George at first. I think in some ways this is why it took so long to finish this. I kept wanting to bash him for lots of things (for instance, I’m pretty sure he reads the Daily Fail), and then I had to calm down and think: yeah, but it’s his point of view, so just stop it. I also had the ending almost from the start (the “pretty” bit), and I really liked that, so I had to try to make the journey there and get it to work somehow. I’m glad that it does work a bit, even if I couldn’t write all the gory bits. Maybe I’ll leave that to the Master… Thank you for letting me use your idea! You’re awesome!
    1 point
  16. The muse has been generous this week. I made huge progress on chapter 2 of Wishful and will probably post it tomorrow. I also made good headway on chapter 4 of Mia: Confessions of a Dickgirl. Finally, I finished a short story titled “You Get What You Pay For.” This one is not for the faint of heart; it’s a furry story in which an infant boy rapes an infant girl. In other news: I recently made a decision that I think will benefit both readers and my story-writing process. Right now, I have eight chaptered stories that are partially posted. Because I'm working on all of these at once, plus a dozen one-shot stories and as-yet-unposted chaptered stories, it takes literally months for me to finish and post a new chapter for any given story. I think this delay is frustrating for readers, who may have forgotten what happened in the previous chapter by the time the next one is posted. So my plan is to limit the number of chaptered stories that I have going (ie, partially posted) at any given time, and to spend more time working on new chaptered stories before I start posting them. I tend to write in a non-linear fashion anyway -- for example, I'm working on a new Loud House story and have written at least a little material for all eleven chapters of it -- so I'll be able to post new chapters more quickly if each of them is closer to being complete when its “turn” comes. Therefore, I'm going to hold off on posting any new chaptered stories until I finish at least two or three of the ones that are already out there. I'm not sure which ones those will be, but Little Rose, Auntie's Home, and The More, the Merrier are probably closest to finished. Then again, I could have a huge burst of inspiration and finish one of the others first. I'm flighty like that.
    1 point
  17. Thank you so much! If she does, I'll be quite flattered. Frankly, I'll be pretty happy if she simply doesn't call the cops on me. Thanks for the nice review!
    1 point
  18. 1. Thank you. 2. *sigh* Did I mention *sigh*? But don't lose hope. Joy can't be contained forever...
    1 point
  19. Sorry for the slow response. The recent changes to Hotmail make new messages harder to see. Yes, it's all Microsoft, not me. Finally, someone gets it! Thank you. I see what you did there. A twist on a twist. Thank you for your analysis, Mr. Naught.
    1 point
  20. No, that's actually it. (Hence the COMPLETE tag.) It's just teaser, main story, and denouement (a word the spellcheck had to help me with). Thanks! Jomahawk gave me the Triple Dent gum idea. The flavor thing just seemed like an easy way to get those on the giving end of the oral sex to enjoy it. Maybe one day I'll write a sequel, but only if a really good idea hits me. In the meantime, maybe you'd like one of my 57 other stories? (God, I wish I were exaggerating.) Thanks for the reviews!
    1 point
  21. I have to confess: Never have I so badly misjudged how readers (here and on the WWOEC forums, where it's also posted) would react to anything in one of my stories as I did with the ending of this one. I expected that people would think it was funny ("Oh, THAT'S where beatnik/goth/emo kids come from!"). It never occurred to me that they would instead be upset about Crazy-Joy's imprisonment. And just to be clear, that was the ending of the story. So my takeaway from this is that "smuttily ever after" is the ending most folks prefer. In any case, I appreciate your honest opinion on this, and thanks for the reviews!
    1 point
  22. Thank you! Trying to correlated the "inside" action with the "out" action was both fun and challenging. I see Joy as a bit of a control freak. She's used to being the one in charge. And she didn't immediately grasp the idea that having an orgasm means being out of control. You get total credit for that. I don't think I would have thought of it if you hadn't suggested it.
    1 point
  23. He might. Although it's also entirely possible that he tastes like Red Hots. Where did you think Emo kids come from? No worries; I'm sure one day, Riley will be in a situation where she can no longer contain her Joy.
    1 point
  24. Then I will tell you, truthfully, that I hope you enjoy finding out. Which you can do any time, because the rest of the story is now posted!
    1 point
  25. 『ああ、ごめん、ごめん、探したよ』 My heart melts every time I hear that line… ::sighs dreamily::
    0 points
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