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Ya know if there’s stuff that really irks you, you can always go back in and edit it! Let Chloe flash that badge, fiddle any comments around sniping distance etc. It’s all allowed This ain’t literotica, just open up that control panel, click edit and away ya go. Maybe stick a note at the end saying you’ve edited it following a review with thanks etc. A lot of the time stuff like that only occurs to me when someone else points it out too, which is why I rarely had any concrit reading the parts through or said “Hey, what about...” (though gotta say, since I missed mentioning it in the review, slipping in dilkash as a term of enderment in part 2 will definitely make less ‘where’d that come from?’ than there was when it first got used chapters later!) Those officers fallen in the line of duty had names, Sir. Officer Shondra Jackson. Officer Molly MacPherson. #bluelivesmatter (Wait… they did what? To an archangel? The MBP tag was needed? Murdered a fellow officer too? Didn’t put their share in the department donut fund? Get someone to chip those names off the memorial, Bob.)

Today I learned ISBN is $125 https://www.myidentifiers.com/

Sweet! Glad this chapter didn’t drive you off in spite of its flaws. That’s a fair criticism. Originally, this was part of a larger segment, along with what is now Part Three. As a result of breaking it off into its own section, this is now the shortest chapter in the story in terms of word count, and is only two scenes long. I think where tension is concerned, the idea was that this might be tense for people who hadn’t read Whore of Heaven. If you don’t know what Luzurial is, then even knowing about her regeneration from the hospital scene, you might expect the Gungnir to really hurt her (and it would have, had the bullets been inscribed properly), and her only getting bruised would be kind of a surprise. The PPD aren’t really the antagonists of the story, and this was more of a misunderstanding and a way to show Chloe’s team in action. Having said that, I’m sorry this wasn’t as fulfilling as it should have been. The good news is that Part Three will be up on Monday and you’ll be able to see what this was originally attached to. Chloe’s dialogue mentioned a gauss rifle (“That gauss rifle cut an apotheosis in half two weeks ago, Gibbs!”), and I figured Kevin knows what that weapon is, but it was definitely somewhat unfair of me to assume that from that, Kevin would have been able to deduce that it was an anti-armor gauss rifle. Sorry about that. As for knowing that it’s the real PPD, that’s ultimately more of a matter of trust than of actually knowing. Of course, they would have known if I had remembered to have Chloe flash a badge. Something tells me that emoticon is going to see a lot more use as people point out mistakes I really should have noticed... Apotheosis means exactly what you described; they’re just not using it to refer to Luzurial. From back in Part One: Hobbs: “and then, of course, there was that hybrid thing two weeks ago.” Chloe: “We call it an apotheosis, actually. Serial killer made a pact with a demon, or an extradimensional hostile if you want to be more technical, resulting in enhanced strength and durability.” So an apotheosis is a human granted preternatural powers by a demon (those two cops in Whore of Heaven, for instance). Granted, they’re infernal powers rather than truly divine powers, but the term was as close as I could get. No one is calling Luzurial an apotheosis, but rather Chloe is saying that if the Gungnir killed an apotheosis, it really should have done something more to her. Again, thank you for the review, and for sticking with the story. Hopefully the next chapter will be less annoying.

YAY! Lol. I'm glad to hear that. A teacher years ago once told me that good science fiction relied on the characters to tell the story, that the characters are the main focus and the setting is merely icing. While I don't follow that principle entirely, I do tend to focus and develop characters more. My apologies for making you feel old. I'm also early thirties, and occasionally I feel like I'm so out of date that I'm in the stone age with people talking. And honestly, I wouldn't feel stupid. I doubt a lot of people know unless they A) are themselves, B) know someone who is or who knows someone, or C) are interested. (I'm assuming there's a lot of tomatoes flying now...) That was part of the reason I tried to include the description of it in there, although it does feel a little stiff, I admit. Again, I hope I did justice to people. And it was supposed to be a conversation of just normal every day thing there in order to portray the idea that sexuality in the time of Last Full Measure is immaterial in that no one cares who's sleeping with who. Perhaps I should have explained a little more. That is definitely a fault of the author.

It’s a waaaaay better follow on than the heat death of the universe ending, so why not? Was pretty much my point of view. Gave me a chance to do some minor polishing on WoH anyway as well as the extended ending. I don’t know shit about sniper ranges, and have a bit of blind spot with distances anyway, so I never even noticed anything was off while reading through!