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Heh, tropes are there cause they work right? Sometimes dancing along trope lines works, because not using them just doesn’t make sense. And I get the form of therapy, I often write to vent and get all the shit out onto the page. Certainly helps. When it comes to the assault team, don’t worry, I full well knew they were the Tactical Unit for the PPD from the introduction in the office. I am, fairly familiar with how organizations like this operate. Which is why I initially raised an eyebrow to the charging in method. But, it makes sense in this case, considering precedent. Guess I’m just tired of having these groups always painted as the villain as a whole. It seems, cheap. As to the range thing. Heh, fair nuff. Looking forward to Part 3. I do believe, from what I’ve seen, that I will enjoy what continues to come out.

Flatterer.

Final review of my backlog. Once more from @Tcr on Blood and Lace I have been trying to imply feeding off the energy of demons or those with demonic taint, is what’s pushing the transformation along. What Alison’s involvement may have had, that’s for the reader to consider. But it wasn’t Alison herself that fucked Derek, it was Sydxun’s presence in the basement. The wife has been pointing out to me that the transformations have been getting a touch stale. So, trying to make them a bit more dramatic. A bit more of a push towards the final stage of it all. Perhaps I should do more from the PoV of someone changing, but it’s mostly a physical thing. We all know how Kris feels about the changes already. This I will state though, once they change, it’s permanent. I didn’t want them shape shifting or anything. As to what that means for Kris and Sam well… we’ll see how into demons Sam is. Heh. I had to put little things like that in there. Little bit of Canuck humour for Canuck readers. But also play a little bit with the differences between them and their nationalities. I really thought about Aliens when writing this scene. A little bit of suspense with the action, further pushing the story to Erotic Horror instead of just smut. I like to think I can write some decent action set pieces. Mia has become a great tool for story and world building with her involvement with the Succubus Consul. And the Consul herself lets me do some good world building and give little glimpses to what Hell is like in this particular setting. I mean, that’s the other world. That’s the place that’s been done so many times over. I gotta try and make it somewhat interesting to the reader. And how it works as well with the devil’s and sins. So, it worked to have Felrya explain some stuff to Mia, and to have Mia broaden her current understandings, as they weren’t entirely correct before. The training regimen… that’s pretty much exactly what it is. Though, Felrya does enjoy doing it as well. Lo and behold. Glad you think the scene overall is hot though. And those particular lines. I didn’t want my demons to be necessarily ‘evil’ but I can’t have them be goody two shoes either. They do come from Hell after all. But I thought it was a good place to make some points about current governments and leaders. Humans certainly are far from perfect. As to those historical figures… who knows. I may get around to toying with the occupents of Hell a bit more in the future. Rasha is certainly meant to be the tragic one. The fallen one, and perhaps more so when we eventually get to backstories and the like. For the time being, we get to see her fall deeper and deeper. Manipulated to thinking she’s doing things of her own free will. But we know everything is for that next fix. That next high. The next hit. Whether she’ll pull back. even I’m not entirely sure anymore. The lord, well… you’ll see. I really wanted to start this off with as much normalicy as I could. Every little drop of it before things go a bit wacko. I think I succeeded, and it’s why I went with characters outside the main cast. The main cast is well outside of normal anymore. So I brought it some good ol humans to sell the normalicy. It also really sets up Alison for what she is, and some of her abilities, and the strengths of her master. The spell though was broken because of Kris, and even Kris doesn’t entirely know how she did it. The Mary Sue thing is actually something I’m usually not too concerned about. Kris may be the most badass, but she’s not the best at everything. And she’s still learning. If I was better at writing investigations, this would shine through a bit better. But thanks for the review, and very glad yer enjoying.

The next review from @Tcr on Blood and Lace I felt it was important to set that stage. Helps ground the narrative, especially when we’re dealing with demons and the like. So glad it worked out. I spaced those out to get a good pause in there. I play these scenes in my head, much like a movie, so I write to get the effects I really want. I purposely wanted to disrupt the flow a bit here. The Crime Scene was fun. This is where the more horror like elements of the story really start creeping in after the coroner scene. I wanted this to really set in “Not a typical porn story”. As to the implications and what might be running about… read on and see. I tend to be pretty stubborn with stylistic stuff. That be me. I do need to bring Sam into the picture more. I have this character that I barely use, because it doesn’t fit. We’ll see what I come up with in the future for her. The protesters are a big part of the world. Helps ground it, because most people would not be happy with the state of affairs. But it also lets me set up future plot threads. Glad you liked the conversations, and Felrya’s description. She’s a big player after all. I used to be bad for using too many commas. Perhaps I’m overcompensating now. Ah wells. The Preacher. He’s fun. I like him muchly. As to what he is, you’ll see. Rasha I felt was the most important to get sympathetic. It’s too easy to shrug off people who are addicts, and that is what she most certainly is. So I had to show a struggle, a reason, and always keep pushing her further down that spiral. As for a turn around. We’ll see. Derek I like playing up some Cop Drama tropes with. He is military police after all. You are right in that him not being more changed, more advanced in his transformation, is why the spell works so easily on him. The role reversal though was more a side effect of how I’ve been going through the story. Perhaps more at the end would have been good, but again, I didn’t want to cram too many sex scenes in. Thank you again for the reviews.

Another from @Tcr Thank ye. Always like to make a good impression with the chapter opening. Though, I certainly should have done more to show that the roof was leaking. A bit of confusion like that can certainly take people out of it. Though, not much happened in the room the night previously. I have gotten to the point that sometimes I just allude to the sex rather than showing, mostly because there’d be too many sex scenes, and not enough driving of the plot. I know this is a smutty story but it’s still a story first. In hindsight I think I could have done more with Kris’s realization. Eh, parts I wanted to sound somewhat awkward. A little less super hot and more stumbly. How well I succeeded, I dunno. Though at the end of the day, most of the scene should be sexy. And I’m glad it was. I’ll watch the commas, but I’ll keep sticking away from italics. It kind of hampers my style of perspective. I really liked that scene, was fun to write. Glad you enjoyed it. I have my moments certainly, lol. I did like how that turned out. Though, I think the biggest change for Mia is being back in a sort of comfort zone, and away from her ex. She’s got a task to focus on now, instead of being left to wallow. Rasha is the most difficult to write, mostly due to the addictions she’s bringing upon herself. It does feed into lust being more than sex, but it’s also her human element, trying to deal with what she’s seen and done while in Hell. Burying it all in substance abuse. But I did really want to play with the sins, and what else could come from them. I play with the other 6 later on in the story a bit. You’ll have to read on and see The Derek scenes here are shorter mostly because he gets some screen time already with Kris. This scene was really just to help set up some later shit. Though, him being the weakest in your eyes, perhaps I’ll have to tinker and play with him a bit. Give some more meat to them bones. I shall do what I can, but thank you for the reviews. And long ones I do enjoy.

Bit behind. Got a few reviews from TCR on Blood and Lace. “They” actually refers to the government. Certainly should have been more specific there. I was kind of going for that ambiguous ‘they’ that people use when talking about government organizations. Glad ye liked the description though. Aye, there should be. Though I don’t think italics are needed. That’s certainly a style thing. Too many “thoughs” I think is the biggest issue. Missed that one. Yeah, I fucked up with Your/You’re. The comma though I don’t think is needed. Comma’s generally mean a pause in dialogue. Didn’t want one. Yeah, used Courtney too often here. But, if you’ve not noticed, I tend to put a fair bit in after a dialogue tag. That’s the way I write, and that’s starting to really get into “proper” and “science vs. art” of writing. Glad ye liked the sex though, and how the scene closed out. Though, I won’t tell on what yer reading into it. I really wanted to show the aftermath of the train, and that scene was just too cool in my head not to include. And it could be that, or it could be she’s just doing better getting away from her now ex. Holy fuck is that line awkward. But, yeah Rasha is really delivering on the T&A aspect, mostly. Yep, thin. Why thank you. There are aspects that certainly I wanted to be brutal. Yeah, I focused more on the interactions here. I didn’t want to go into too much depth here though. It was mostly just to get these two back together and show how they get on. Didn’t want to play with much of their abilities cause then I can’t slowly unveil them through the following chapters.

Ahhh, fair enough. That makes sense too. Well, I’m glad to see a happier ending coming out of it, even if they journey won’t be easy (I don’t think it should be either, considering).

That’s actually not quite what I meant. I think you might have read my Whore of Heaven reviews, and if you remember my Part Three review, then you’ll recall that when I read the story ten years ago, I got rather emotional and sad and felt incredibly bad for Luzurial. I emailed JayDee and asked, basically, if I could write her a happy ending. I was aware that asking to do a happy ending to a dark torture/rape story would likely prompt some eye rolling, but I felt like it would make me feel a little better if there was some timeline, some completely non-canon chain of events where things got better for her. That’s more what I meant by therapy. Now I was not expecting that when I finally got around to writing the story and sent the first four or five chapters to JayDee, that the response would be “This is canon now, by the way.” I absolutely understand (the Evil Government Agency is kind of annoying to me as well) and the majority of the PPD are good people. By the way, my phone’s autocomplete now recognizes Luzurial’s name. I didn’t think I was typing that many posts on my phone, but apparently...

you know its cold when the bars in Wisconsin close! -60 windchills! I unfortantly have to go to work for the first time in 3 weeks and freeze my a** off! lol if i call in, it will count against me! ugh!!!

Thank you so much! I basically wrote this as a form of therapy, so hearing that other people are enjoying it is always wonderful. If by tropey you mean cliched, well, I have been known to write like that from time to time, and I’m sorry about that. In-universe, the reason for the “shoot first” approach is down to two things. First, Chloe’s team is basically the PPD’s version of a SWAT team, so she assumes that if Hobbs gave her the assignment, then violence is called for. Second, in this universe, the last time an extradimensional creature showed up, it had preternatural powers and killed millions of people, so some of the guns blazing approach is due to fear of a repeat performance. Well, yes and no. On the one hand, Chloe & Co. are genuinely good people, and what happened in this chapter was down to a misunderstanding. On the other hand, the PPD is a law enforcement organization, and no law enforcement organization is free of corruption, especially when you’re dealing with something like demons… You ready to hear a true but really dumb story? I did research on what a long rifle shot would be, and originally that distance was way more than 200 meters, but then I realized that since all parties involved are on campus when this goes down, Gibbs probably wouldn’t be too far from his target, otherwise buildings and trees are going to get in the way. Now this is where any reasonable author would cut the line entirely, but I, not thinking this through, just altered the range value and left it like that. So yeah… I’m updating weekly, so Part Three will be up on February 4. You’re likely to run into more tropey stuff down the line, I’m afraid, but I do hope that the story continues to be enjoyable for you in spite of that!

Darn it, JayDee! Now I’m going to have to completely rewrite Part Three!

I realize I’m not the original author, but I always saw the outfit as a result of Luzurial’s naivete concerning sexuality. It’s not that she’s clueless about humanity in general (she’s not surprised by cars, guns, modern buildings, etc.) and she knows what sex is, but other stuff surrounding sex is kind of a blind spot for her. Given that, she knows that she shouldn’t be seen naked by mortals, but doesn’t realize that covering up a little of herself, but not enough, just makes her look hotter. That was my take on it, anyway.

I didn’t mind the torture stuff, I just started viewing it as a horror, and I quite enjoy the story. Considering some of the shit I’ve put in my own writing, can’t get pouty when others do the same stuff. And I have already started ‘The Woman in the Statue’. It’s pretty cool seeing the continuation of your story. Certainly happens. I guess in the end, I felt it didn’t go well with the set up of ultimate badass. But, something needed to happen for the story to go. I didn’t have a problem with the outfit per se. I’ve come across a lot of different settings where the angels wear very little. I think it just felt contradictory with the line about avoiding lusts. Whereas had she just been wearing the stuff, it might not have stood out to me so much. And no problem. It was a good read.

Don’t worry I won’t talk about the karaoke night where Luzurial stuns everyone with a pitch perfect rendition of Iron Maiden’s Hallowed be thy name. Or the issues when the IRS turn up to discuss 75 years of back taxes owed for “Being one of those busking statue guys.” Or when Kevin asks her why she keeps killing birds and shouting about “75 years of goddamn crap, you feathery bastards!” Or anything about a dimension hopping succubus. Yeah I can see that the English Major version would possibly have proven less useful. If we assume that ‘evil born of Hell itself, and it's coming back’ from the summary comes back, being able to dash in and correct grammatical errors or quote a bit of Maya Angelou would perhaps prove less helpful than the whole applied theology gig. Especially as said evil might be quite happy about caged birds being unable to sing and cheerfully ready to give an example. And to be fair, NPC path finding and combat has come on a bit since those- wait, nevermind, you didn’t take the computer game route. And absolutely, champions are often known for their band of true companions anyway. No doubt a big guy did some kind of heroic sacrifice just beforehand, and the champions’s old mentor probably died too, still kvetching about the mess the bad guy made. “It wasn’t the high five that got you sent to Hell. It was the ‘Down low… too slow!’ you followed it up with.” Another good thing that Calista was there to point out Luzurial couldn’t be a demon, because you’d be getting really bowel looseningly nervous if it was a demon, you know the aftermath of Whore of Heven, and both weapons hadn’t worked. Luckily no urgent extra request for brown uniform pants needed.

A new review for Blood and Lace, and it’s a thick one: Firstly thank you much for the review. Especially such a long one, and never need to apologize for reading, and especially not for leaving feedback. First, I’m glad that Kris and Sam’s relationship seems good, and their dialogue natural. Dialogue is certainly an area I have some doubts in my abilities, especially in making it sound natural. As you noted that some of it seemed just a bit stinted. I think I may have been having an issue with trying too hard to push forward what I needed to happen next instead of letting these two breathe just a bit more and help really nail down how they feel about each other. Certainly something to work on in the future. Would certainly like to discuss what you felt was stinted. As to Sam looking things up, I thought that would be an interesting way to kill two birds with one stone. A) A little bit of exposition, but also B) Show Sam’s willingness to invest in the relationship, despite not having signed up for demonic corruption. Moving on to Mia’s scene well… hard to give much away about what’s going on in her mind without spoiling anything. Looking back there’s certainly some roads I could have pushed down instead of what I did. But we shall see how it turns out no? Glad you liked the shadowy creatures. There is certainly more to come. No answers to them for now. I did try to make the scene hot and disturbing at once. There’s a few times I gun for that. Rasha… at this point in the story Rasha’s personal tale is turning out to be a bit of tragedy. The spiral keep’s descending. Derek, well… same replies. Thank ye kindly. As to what he’s calling for. You’ll see.