Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. And then when you’ve finally got through all the blood, sweat and tears of getting it just right you have to write a summary to draw in the readers.
And that could be a hell of a conversation with Kizzy some day.
“I just wish we were allowed to screw back in the old days, you know? I was totally happy there apart from that even though I was like, the humblest of the host.”
“What do you mean?”
“Duh. That fucking celibacy command that came down from you Seraphim. The Creator gave Luzurial a rack like that, and then said hands off. It’s the deal with the tree in the garden and Eve loving figs all over again.”
“That.. that wasn’t… My friend, I tell you truthfully I never knew of any order given for celibacy. Though there was always one of the cherubim who debated most strongly in favor of it, no argument would have made us issue any order contrary to the Creator’s creation.”
Later
“Hey, Kiz, why’s Shannon eating a big tub of ice cream and crying?”
My badly written BDSM really hurt the masochists. So they demanded I write more.
Thanks for raising this! I always appreciate little pointers like this. For this one example I think I’ll keep it as it is because it has a faint echo of the phrase “carrying a torch for someone” and she isn’t carrying one. I have to make my own fun. I think I did know the term Flashlight from all the media I consume, but always worry about mistyping it as Fleshlight.
Yeah, Sarsa’s lack of imagination does mirror my own. I think I may have seen the bottle in a room in Fallout New Vegas.
Chances are none of them are really superfluous! Plus the interractions you’ve written for them are so natural and realistic – that’s one of the many reasons I think folks who give it a chance on AFF will love it. I mean, some right bastard of a writer put her though absolute hell so a little comfort is no bad thing.
No doubt with billions of years they’d have done a bit of redecorating! I suspect it would be more the demons of Shannon’s attitudes rather than the likes of Eparlegna.
Even so, I thank you for the reading and the feedback. And also for writing the superior-in-every-way sequel to Whore of Heaven.