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Well, if it’s a transport beam of some kind, it would have to take into considerations things such as outside natural interference, like bad weather. You don’t want to beam your crew into nasty situations, nor do you want to beam up something FROM a nasty situation, endangering your crew.

The Art of Foreshadowing What is it? Quite simply, foreshadowing is to hint at something, in a casual way, where it will be brought up again later on in the story in a more significant and relevant way. The ‘art’ is in exactly how you lay that little hint, without telegraphing “THIS IS IMPORTANT! REMEMBER IT!”. Why it’s important Story telling is easy. No, really, it is! The art is in how you tell the story, that’s what makes it scary, exciting, sexy, etc. Foreshadowing is a very important tool to use in many, if not most, stories. I’m sure most of us have watched movies where all of a sudden, the hero just happens to find the one thing he or she needs to save the day. “Oh that was convenient!” we shout at the screen. It’s far too convenient, and therefore, annoying, for the hero of your story to miraculously find exactly the right thing he or she needs right when they need it the most. This is the reaction you’ll get for unrealistic and unbelievable story telling. What you need to do is to leave a little hint earlier in the story, something that, at the time, didn’t seem all that relevant or important to the story, but allows the reader to later say, “Oh, so that’s why the author did that!” Foreshadowing is more important in some stories than others. Detective mysteries rely very heavily on foreshadowing. Everyone reading the story is hoping to guess who the killer is before the detective, and a well written story should provide enough hints to allow the reader to do this, if only they work out what’s important and what’s a red herring. There’s nothing worse than coming to the conclusion and realising that the detective was apparently privy to information that we, the reader, were not. This is bitterly frustrating and poor story telling. When the detective goes through the steps that allowed him or her to catch the killer, everything there should be something that the reader could also have picked up on. Nothing should be a clue that we hadn’t been exposed to in some way. As suggested above, you can also use foreshadowing to misdirect the reader, by laying a hint that you know the reader will think is important but is actually a red herring. You would then follow it up a little later with another hint – the true one, this time – but because the reader has thought the earlier hint was the real one, they might be tempted to overlook the true one. I think you’d need to be a little careful with how you do this, because it can backfire if done poorly. If done right, though, then it can be a clever way to get the reader to watch your left hand while your right pulls the card out of your sleeve. On the other hand, some stories, like detective stories, rely very heavily on leaving plenty of clues and red herrings, creating a pretty tangled web that needs to be weaved with great care. This is why a good detective story can be so difficult to write. Huge respect to Agatha Christie! How and when to foreshadow More often than not, foreshadowing should be of the fairly subtle kind. If it’s shouted from the rooftops then it can cause the reader to keep a close eye out for it, so when it happens, it’s of no surprise at all to the reader, and, frankly, spoils the story. A better way is to drop the hint in such a way as to cause the reader to either all but forget about it, or to make the reader think that your hint was just a bit of flavouring, and nothing more important than that. You can go overboard with foreshadowing though. If everything in your story is important, then the reader soon learns to understand that everything you mention is going to have something relevant to do with the climax of your story, which only helps to lessen the impact. By adding things to your story that aren’t important, it ensures the reader is never sure what’s important and what’s not. On the other hand, when you later proofread your story, you might actually see how you could turn one of these story flavour enhancers into an actual foreshadow. But as I said, these ‘story flavour enhancers’ should rarely be promoted as “THIS IS IMPORTANT” moments. Describing how the ashtray on the coffee table is overflowing with ash and cigarette butts might just be a way to simply show that the occupant is a smoker and a bit messy or lazy, or it might have important relevance later on. Who knows? Certainly not the reader, and that’s what’s most important. Remember, foreshadowing should very rarely be obvious. It should be a fairly subtle hint that the reader may or may not pick up on. Too overt a hint comes across as too obvious and too forced. It needs to flow naturally with the story, appearing as something that is nothing more than a flavour enhancer.

Creating Characters Have you ever heard of the term, “Mary-Sue”, in relation to stories? If you don’t know what that is then I’ll explain. A “Mary-Sue” story is where the hero of the story is basically you. But not exactly like you, though; a better looking, stronger, braver, more popular, richer you, with super powers! These type of stories are usually pretty obvious, and often draw a lot of flack from people. Mary-Sue’s are not popular, other than with the person that wrote it. But I’m going to go against popular opinion somewhat and say that Mary-Sue’s aren’t all bad. If you’re starting out in the big scary world of story writing then a Mary-Sue type story is almost certainly one of the first types you’re going to write. And that’s okay, it truly is! You’re still learning, and the only way to learn is to write, make mistakes, learn from them, keep writing, make mistakes, etc. So go on, write those Mary-Sue’s, but perhaps you should just keep them to yourself, or maybe only show them to select friends. But you really should be striving towards writing non Mary-Sue stories as soon as you can. But don’t let anybody tell you that published author’s never base characters on themselves, because they very much do. They always have, and they continue to do so. Most successful authors have written novels containing characters that are them to varying degrees. The lead characters in some of the most successful novels have been a carbon copy of the author. But that’s the whole point: the character is just like the author, and nobody is perfect. Every single human being has flaws. And it’s their flaws that makes a character interesting, not their perfections. When people write Mary-Sue’s, what they’re really wanting to see is them as the kind of person they wished they were, so they make them gloriously perfect. Because don’t most of us wish we were perfect? I know I do. But that makes for boring reading for everyone other than the person who wrote it. People can’t relate to perfect characters, because we’re not perfect. People can relate to flawed characters, though, because we ourselves are flawed. But that’s why we like to see the flawed hero triumph, because we can put ourselves in their shoes, and we cheer them on, wanting them to succeed against the odds! You can go overboard with the flaws, though. Unless you really want your character to be thoroughly broken then don’t forget to give them some positives. A character that is so utterly damaged can be difficult for most people to warm to, which is a potential problem if this person is going to be the hero of your story. Those kind of characters can work, though, but usually only if they find some kind of redemption at or near the climax of the story. Still, if they’re thoroughly unlikeable then the journey to that point can be a tough one for your readers. But what about your hero’s friends? What are they like? The temptation for some is to follow what we see in movies and TV series: one friend is black, one friend is gay and one friend is Asian. This sort of political correctness has no part in stories! Take a look at your own circle of friends? Is that really what they look like? Do you actually know anybody who genuinely has a circle of friends like that? Don’t get me wrong, if your character is white then I’m not saying they can’t have any black friends, gay friends or Asian friends. Sure they can! But unless a person lives in a highly multicultural and diverse neighbourhood then it’s extremely unlikely that a person will have that exact make-up of friends. Another temptation is to follow a different type of movie or TV series, which is where each friend is wildly different than the other friends. Opposites attract only in bad fiction. In reality, opposites tend to get on each other’s tits after a while. Again, think about your own friends. Do you have friends who are all totally different from each other, as in nobody has anything in common? I highly doubt it. Maybe you might have one weird friend who is quite different from you, but there’ll still be at least some things about this person that you like, otherwise they wouldn’t be a friend, now would they. Make the friends realistic, not politically correct. What about the villain of your story? Unless you’re writing a super hero or anime-based story, then your bad guy shouldn’t be a cartoon-style super villain, not if you want them to be believable. Just as you want the hero of your story to be someone the reader can warm to, the villain should have the opposite effect on the reader. You really don’t want people to be cheering on the bad guy, unless that really is the type of story you’re going for. Exactly how bad the person is really depends on what type of story and character you’re writing. Is the bad guy you’re garden variety bully and thug, or is he a psychopathic murderer? If he’s just a thug then you don’t want to go overboard and inadvertently turn him into a small town super villain. While you don’t want your audience cheering on the bad guy, you do want the readers to find them believable. If they’re too unbelievable then the reader can start to loose connection with your story. Creating realistic, believable, relatable characters shouldn’t be so difficult. All you really need to do is to take a look at yourself and your friends. If you’re having a hard time warming to your character then so will everybody else.

I agree, they’re interesting little reads.

Glad you followed the above advice! It’s always best to NOT feed the trolls. It’s what they want.

I actually have to side with Des on this. Report it, repeatedly if necessary, and if they continue, report the new content. Don’t let up until you get a response from the site. But if you respond on their comments, it will only incite them.

Not certain, the sunspot number is going down. (Which means less activity.) However, there is a random chance factor, that unless somebody is looking up NOAA’s space weather page, can be easily fudged to make the plot happen.

Feeding trolls is a no-win scenario, IMO, and I’d rather spend my time tormenting my characters. So yeah, good luck and starve the trolls.

While I wanted to reply at work, I figured I ought to be working at work…. (not to mention, replying on the tablet is painful). Several different ways, depending on whether you’ve got a receiver pad, or not, and whether it’s got to be permanent or just temporary. Obviously, with a permanent receiver pad/device on Earth, it could be moved, defaced, destroyed by us, or be used as a chamber pot by some soul who doesn’t realize what it is. Now you could go with electromagnetic interference because that has changed in 2017 years, choosing your favorite gadget for causing this, on the “specific frequency” needed for the beaming to work. (ie, microwave, or wifi blaming our porn habits, or, if you need night time only, the sodium vapor common in street lights) Another possibility is pollution in the atmosphere, blocking the frequencies needed for the beam in/out to work. A non-human possibility is a geomagnetic storm (ie, a solar flare) from the sun. Several ideas, hope it helps!

I didn’t want to ruin the story for anyone who was actually reading it but yeah, it’s for Mo and that’s hilarious, I might just use that! But now you know the basic reason for why I need it to be some sort of modern day reason for the beam not to work since back when the first guy was taken there was no problem.

I’m assuming this is for Mohammed? Only if so… it would be so much snarky fun if the matter transference beam looked like an endless pillar of salt…

“They’ve built a visitors centre next to the receiver. They’re calling it Stonehenge. Damn primitives!” “Does it have a cafe?”

There could be something like the Stargate technology, where the receiver for the transport beam was left behind on Earth. It might not even resemble anything we’d associate with transport. Perhaps it’s a flat stone with peculiar glyphs, which are needed by the shipside end of the beam as a cosmic QR code, if you will.

like I said, rabid fanpoodles...

Or there’s always this: ALIEN ONE: Something is throwing the beam off. ALIEN TWO: What is that? Oh, man… they’ve gone and built a collider! ALIEN ONE: Closest safe point is right… there! ALIEN TWO: Right. Quick and beam him from there before they turn everything to grey goo… Idiots! I can’t believe they’ve got away with running it for this long... oh, man. They voted in Donald Trump too! We need to get out of here.

It’s probably a good thing nobody who actually knows anything about the technology (not that we can beam people up or what have you but you know what I’m saying) will read this story but I don’t want people scratching their heads wondering if I have no idea how anything works. Seriously, it’s just going to be like a paragraph to explain why the aliens didn’t beam the MC up right away like they did the last guy. And since this is just a silly idea from my head, I have no real enthusiasm for researching how this stuff works. I just don’t want to sound like I’m completely clueless. But if need be, I’ll contact NASA right away and see what their thoughts are on this, just as soon as I finish doing some other things that don’t involve using my brain.

Maybe it’s a pre-arranged rendezvous point, like in the film ‘Starman’ and there is no way to contact each other to revise it? Perhaps the discovery of electricity/radio waves/micro waves etc, means that only specific places are suitable for matter transference? If you’re looking for something more involved and technical, perhaps you could look into axial precession, and/or the movement of the equatorial line on earth messing things up a bit. I mean, we are talking in thousands of years here. While it might not be noticeable (I have no idea!), it might throw delicate instrumentation off quite a bit.

Say they had a battery 2000 years ago that was full of juice allowing for a longer range, while now two millenia of streaming space porn (or general usage) mean they have to basically be on top of of the spot?

If you’ve been carefully following Melrick’s posts you’ll have been able to work out this guide was coming for some time.

The best option is absolutely to ignore the trolls as they want a response. What you’ve written above, while sensible and rational, would likely just be viewed as a score and a “We gotta get more of this” attitude leading to further trolling. Basically, everything that’s already been said. I’m late in here! I, uh, I tend to quote nasty comments against me for the amusement of myself and others but I know that the previously given report/ignore advice is correct.

Melrick, I am loving all these little snippets you are posting – they’re fantastic!

ah yes, the attack of the fanpoodle troll! ugh

Please don’t feed the trolls! Report and ignore. You’re far and away a better person and better writer.

Report and ignore it, that's about the only option that won't drag you down with the trolls. Plus this documents the issue in case it comes back up. (Assuming this other sites mods care as much as AFF's do... Anything to the trolls will just bait them further. IMO.

Writing Dialogue Writing dialogue can be a very tricky affair for novice writers, and even more experienced ones. So here’s some hints and tips on writing good dialogue. There are very few stories where dialogue isn’t included. Some are dialogue heavy, while others are very light on dialogue, often because the writer isn’t confident in writing them. Dialogue, though, is an extremely important part of story writing. Dialogue moves your story forward; it provides important information; it brings your characters to life. If the dialogue isn’t believable then the readers pick up on that immediately and damages your story, often to the point where your readers simply stop reading. Dialogue is that important, yet it’s perhaps the one area where writers have the most problems with. If you wish to call yourself a writer – even an amateur writer – then dialogue is something you need to get right. So if you feel you’re bad at it, keep practicing! The very first thing you need to do is to understand your character. This is vital for every story you ever write. If you don’t know your own character then how do you expect your reader to? You need to know how he or she thinks and feels and behaves. Once you do this, you’ll be in a much better position to know how they would talk. The dialogue needs to be realistic. This is where many people go wrong. I’ll give an example of bad dialogue and better dialogue. BAD: “Hello Jennifer, how are you? I haven’t seen you in a long time.” BETTER: “Jennifer, hi! Wow, I haven’t seen you in ages! How are ya?” In the ‘bad’ version, about the only people that would speak like that are unfeeling psychopaths. And no, I’m not kidding. There’s no emotion there at all; it’s like a robot talking. In the ‘better’ version, there’s much more emotion. You can tell the speaker is surprised and very happy to see Jennifer. Now, in my mind, the speaker would pronounce the last ‘you’ word as ‘ya’ in that situation, but perhaps your character would pronounce it properly? This is all about understanding your character. Would your character use slang in their speech? Then use it! But you need to be careful about this. Some slang is not just local to only your country, but perhaps even local to just your town. If there’s lots of slang then your readers might soon get confused and not have a clue what’s really being said. A confused reader is an unhappy reader. If the other character is from out of town then this can give you a good reason to explain what various slang means. But remember, most people don’t speak in non-stop slang. What if a character is a foreigner, where English is a second language? How do you portray that without your character coming across as a stereotype? This is… tricky. Very tricky, in fact. The problem is that stereotypes are there because real people can often actually fit that stereotype. For example, I have an Asian girlfriend and I’ve been to Asia, and the simple fact is, in many occasions, their English really does sometimes sound like what we might call stereotypical. For example, my girlfriend initially pronounced ‘broccoli’ as ‘broccori’. I nearly wet myself laughing when she said that the first time. Thankfully, she too saw the funny side of her mispronunciation, and worked hard at getting the pronunciation correct. But if you wrote your Asian character mispronouncing every letter L as the letter R, is that a good thing? To be honest, most people would see that as you simply being racist, even though you’re just trying to portray your character in a way that you see as accurate. So what’s the alternative? Perhaps have them mispronounce the odd word here and there instead of every one. Have someone comment on their very good English, thereby eliminating the need for the stereotypical speech at all. If you’re not sure if your dialogue sounds natural then there’s a very easy way to find out: read it out loud. If it sounds awkward and unnatural to you, then it will sound that way to your readers. Next time you’re with a group of people, listen to how they communicate with each other. If you do that then you’ll quickly see that people are much more relaxed and casual with their speech when they’re talking with friends and family. Proper English and well constructed sentences are frequently not adhered to. On the other hand, though, people are usually a lot less relaxed and casual if speaking with their boss. Is your guy shy and nervous around women? Then that will reflect in how they talk with them, particularly a woman he’s interested in. As a guy who is shy and nervous around women I’m interested in, I’m all too familiar with this. Not knowing what to say is common, and if you do say something, saying the wrong thing happens a lot, and eventually walking away thinking “she thinks I’m a moron” is definitely not uncommon. But what if he’s a braggart overly blessed with self confidence? That will also reflect in how he talks with the opposite sex. Remember, understanding your character is the very first step. The second step is to write your dialogue in a realistic, natural, believable way. If you’re unsure, read it out loud to yourself or to a friend. The third step is to keep practicing!

Okay so I’m writing this story and I need a reason the aliens wouldn’t be able to “Beam” someone up until they are at a specific spot/general area. I have no idea about anything to do with aliens and spaceships or, well, just about anything that has to do with the science fiction genre (this story isn’t really sci/fi, it’s just got an ending that is a bit...strange, so don’t ask me why I’m writing something I have no idea about, thank you very much). I just need a sort of plausible explanation as to why it might not work in the modern age when it worked before, like around 2017 years before. Thank you very much in advance for any ideas or help you might have. CL

Well, this is a new one on me. On another site, some time ago I received a troll review which was full of swearing and nastiness. It was deleted and reposted again and again over the course of about an hour. Since the troll review was from a registered user, I took a screenshot from my notification email and reproduced it on my review page so that I could reply, thinking that would be the end of the matter. And it was… for a while. This morning, I have a new troll, and I find there is a long rambling discussion about me on the comments section of the original troll’s story (I won’t repeat it – it’s pretty nasty), where they are encouraging each other to continue trolling. I’m hesitant about ignoring a public discussion of myself containing harrassment and namecalling, which leaves me with two options. I can either report the abuse right off the bat. Or I can calmly ask them to stop (on the review board where they’re having this public “discussion”), then report if they do not subside. The second option would seem to be preferable, but I don’t want to start some kind of flame war. I was thinking along the lines of: So… what do you guys think? I am kind of at a loss… *sighs*

That’s a good one… hasn’t the sun been quite active with solar flares recently too? Or am I just imagining that?

That’s absolutely the point, isn’t it?

Thanks to sneaky666 for his kind review. It makes my will to write surviving.

Pen Name: JayDee Story link: You! - Part 3: Wolf Moon Review replies link: Review Replies -Original Type of fic: Flashfic Rating: Adult + Fandom: Original Pairing: Still isn't one. Warnings: AFFO, ChallengeFic, Exhib, Hum, TF

It’s a good thing I’m quite a few chapters off from needing the specifics but at least you guys will keep me entertained while I figure it out.

Rant away. Honestly, the fanpoodle troll just reveals new levels of ignorance, which will remain uncorrected since I’m not going to dignify their drivel with a response. Suffice to say, they’ve never handled an actual bullwhip.

Apologies for my bit of a rant, there. I guess I just got a bit pissed off I had to spend actual time on this (putting a report together and such) when it’s my day off. Never mind… I’ve got another one tomorrow. That’s more than many people get.

Thanks, JayDee. I think these are older teenagers of some description, because a lot of their conversation revolves around: “B-but she was Meaaannn to me!1!!!1 All of the fandom is IGNORING me NOW. And now I Don’t Want To Write ANYMORE!!!! Everybody get her!!!!” They’re like little trainee fucking sociopaths… I haven’t reviewed their stories, btw, I just mentioned in my response to their obscene review (back in October, ffs) that they were jealous and couldn’t spell. Or use grammar. Or be coherent. They’re lucky I didn’t go further. I mean… is not going to help them in their upcoming McDonald’s career. I’ve reported it and left it at that.

Okay, I guess I should have specified a bit better. The aliens were “visiting” around 2000 years ago and they swung back around this way again, none of their technology is on the planet. They basically just screw with the humans and go away. It’s confusing I know.

bwahahahah. Happy belated birthday! Sorry I missed it! You’re not old, you’re still a youngling. You’re only 2 years older than my oldest spawn!

Now I am just giggling about it! You’re all awesome!

The troll isn’t even registered on AO3, and it certainly feels like they’re just stirring up trouble for enjoyment. I think ignoring them completely is the best course of action, really. The original troll is a college student with more ambition than intelligence, and the grammar skills of a 5th grader, who’s wondering why he doesn’t get adoration for his present-day AUs containing LotR characters who are so out of character as to be unrecognizable. This is our future, may the gods be good and take them quickly.

Well, I have followed your advice, Des and Bronx, and have submitted a report to the abuse team. Here’s hoping it can be quickly resolved. Thank you!

Thanks, Bronx… I will hold back. Actually it might play into their hands to respond, given that this “discussion” is happening on the troll’s comments page.

Thank you, Des I am still thinking about it, but you are probably right. *nods*

As my mother’s said, it’s better to be over the hill than under it.

You need to read Keith’s stuff. That’s what he writes!

Re: “Comfort and Joy” It just seemed like the right way to end the trilogy: their parents had sex when they were very young, Carl and his sibs did the same, and now their kids are doing it. I think they would, but “off screen.” Given that there was no inter-generational sex in the whole trilogy, I thought it would be weird to introduce it in the final chapter. I have a father/teen daughter series going that begins with “Wild Side,” continues with “Everything She Needs,” and will conclude with the in-progress “Make It All Better.” Also, there’s a good bit of father/daughter sex in my plot-heavy scifi-fantasy stories “Activation Day” (completed) and “Eddie Forever” (well underway). Finally, I’ve got a father/young daughter story called “Little Rose” in the works, but I’m not sure when the first chapter of that will be ready for posting. Thanks for the review!

“Comfort and Joy” is finally done! And only 8 days after Christmas.