GeorgeGlass

Cleanup Crew
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Status Updates posted by GeorgeGlass

  1. I think my phone is trying to get rid of me. The other morning, I took it out of my pocket and found that one of my airline apps was open and had gotten a couple of steps into booking me a ticket to Amsterdam.

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. GeorgeGlass

      GeorgeGlass

      Yeah, JayDee, you’re gonna have to enlighten us ignorami who don’t speak porn-Dutch.

    3. JayDee

      JayDee

      All I’ll say is when you’re wanting to pick up a Dutch translation of Pippi Longstocking for a Dutch friend’s kids birthday, don’t believe the person who tells you to go into the bookshop and ask for Pijpslet.

    4. GeorgeGlass

      GeorgeGlass

      Ah, I suddenly have a guess as to what “slet” means.

  2. This is what I get for Googling myself: "21 Die in Lake George Glass Bottom Boat Accident"

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      I sat there and was like okay but how though?

    3. GeorgeGlass

      GeorgeGlass

      Quote

      I sat there and was like okay but how though?

      Because “George” and “Glass” appear consecutively in the headline.

       

    4. JayDee

      JayDee

      And google searches also have results based on past searches so naturally ‘bottom’ came up :p

  3. Holy crap, that was hard to watch.

    I’m talking about Cuties. What did you think I meant?

    1. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      Congrats on your FBI watch list placement?

    2. GeorgeGlass

      GeorgeGlass

      No, no, Cuties was on my Netflix watch list. My FBI watch list is Catch Me If You Can, Silence of the Lambs, and Point Break.

    3. Strange_idea

      Strange_idea

      i watched life after beth once. i…. have no idea how to describe the sheer confusing, meldramatic gory NOTHING that happens

  4. Damn it, phone, I said "erect nipples," not "wrecked nipples." Do you do this stuff just to mess with me?

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      I think your phone is a masochistic

    3. GeorgeGlass

      GeorgeGlass

      @BronxWenchNobody’s getting this phone. It knows too much.

      When it finally dies, I’m going to zap it with an EMP, then burn it, then bury the melted remains at a crossroads.

      @InvidiaRedWell, one of us is. :)

    4. Strange_idea

      Strange_idea

      Why curse innocent passers by? 

  5. After 10 years of writing porn, I have finally learned to spell “ecstasy” without the help of autocorrect.

    1. FairySlayer

      FairySlayer

      Let's celebrate: Espresso for everyone!

    2. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      I’m not there yet. Haha.

  6. The upside of being an unpublished SFF novelist is that you have tons of made-up names to use as website passwords. :)

  7. I didn't used to have a favorite Disney villain. But the other night, I watched the Princess and the Frog, and now it's Dr Facilier -- the Shadow Man. Even his death is awesome.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. GeorgeGlass

      GeorgeGlass

      I like his “villain song,” too.

      https://youtu.be/g00kEcGh4j8

    3. Strange_idea

      Strange_idea

      as a disney trivia guy i’d like to point out some of the subtleties you may or may not have enjoyed. one, his costume is, naturally, evoking baron sameidei (which is an actual ritual element to evoke a connection with the loa in question) and his name comes from the french “facile” or easy. he is a man who makes things easy.

      also, he honestly tells everybody exactly what they’ll get from him. the butler? is told that he’d be miserable married, but forced to marry anyway, and the prince is told he’ll be given all the green he needs to hop from place to place. buuuut….

      also, did you notice this?

      https://external-preview.redd.it/NMx5U2dM0avaIz6faxF_EiQWhVSZngdNzpW5pbU8dN4.jpg?auto=webp&s=f23dcbba6d2dbe271b60d995518323dc0d148592

    4. GeorgeGlass

      GeorgeGlass

      Schweet. One more reason why they call him the Shadow Man, I guess.

  8. I’m writing a fanfic in which a character writes fanfic of a fanfic. Is there an upper limit to how meta something can be?

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. JayDee

      JayDee

      There was a comic series, the writer got killed in that… then the typewriter just started going on its own. I had to look up the series title, it was The Grievous Journey of Ichabod Azrael (and the Dead Left in his Wake). Because, you know, a two-worder wouldn’t have done the job. It also had a talking horse. I forget where I’m going with this.

      Good luck with the meta work! I tried a meta-ish one once. Slightly less success than Czech arthouse films have at American multiplexes. I’m sure you’ll do much better!

    3. Strange_idea

      Strange_idea

      Have a friend write a review that's actually a fanfic of a character writing a review. For bonus points it's one of the characters your character was writing about 

    4. GeorgeGlass

      GeorgeGlass

      Quote

      Have a friend write a review that's actually a fanfic of a character writing a review. For bonus points it's one of the characters your character was writing about 

      Dude, don’t go putting ideas in Fairy Slayer’s head. :)

  9. Lately, Chrome has been randomly assigning the icons for my frequently visited sites. Right now, AFF has the IMDB icon. 

    There’s a joke in there somewhere, but I can’t seem to pry it out.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. GeorgeGlass

      GeorgeGlass

      God, the Parental Advisory sections would go on for pages...

    3. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      Hopefully, It might mean the plague of remakes nobody wanted comes to an end.

    4. FairySlayer

      FairySlayer

      Chrome simply recognized that all mainstream entertainment is pretty much the same these days and gave up trying to keep track of the supposed differences. At this point I think a lot of straight-laced people would be delighted to revel in the sex lives of their favorite fictional characters. Expect a lot of new hits on your fanfics. :)

  10. It’s been a long while since I’ve had a haircut. I’m starting to look like Doc Brown from Back to the Future. Maybe that’s why I’m thinking four-dimensionally. :)

    1. JayDee

      JayDee

      Tell me about it. I’m starting to look like Cousin It.

    2. FairySlayer

      FairySlayer

      I’ve mostly been trimming my own hair, bit by bit and occasionaly buzzing it all off, for over 15 years. In other words, I don’t care how awful it looks because it distracts from my face, my body, my personality, etc. ;)

    3. BronxWench

      BronxWench

      There has been a distinct advantage in my decision (prompted by an allergy to hair dye) to let my grey hair fly proudly. :lol: 

  11. Having spent the past two weekends tackling ambitious to-do lists, I’m already planning to spend at least one day of the coming weekend doing virtually nothing but chilling on the sofa and watching TV. Good thing season 5 of She-Ra drops tomorrow. 

    1. GeorgeGlass

      GeorgeGlass

      My Saturday of virtually nothing was everything I dreamed. :) And season 5 of She-Ra was excellent – a fitting end to the series.

  12. Ten questions I'd ask various superheroes if they were real:

    1. Squirrel Girl: What are you going to call yourself when you're forty?
    2. Black Panther and Aquaman: Shouldn't you guys be, like, at home settling trade disputes instead of running around in tight pants?
    3. Martian Manhunter: Suspenders with shorts? Is that a Martian thing?
    4. America Chavez: If you just gently poked some cookie dough with your finger, would it make star shapes?
    5. Iron Man: What do you do if you have an itch?
    6. Beast Boy: So, when you turn into an animal, is it always a boy animal?
    7. Wolverine: If you and Vandal Savage got in a fight, which of you do you think would get bored and go home first?
    8. The Flash: Do women actually like the speed thing? Because, you know...
    9. The Thing: Do you think the right moisturizer would help?
    10. Violet Parr: Have you ever searched your own name on a site called Rule34?

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. GeorgeGlass

      GeorgeGlass

      @Strange_idea Certainly.

      @WillowDarkling Foal me once, shame on you. Foal me twice…

      @JayDee All I know is, dog welding is not something you should try in your garage on the weekend, I’ll tell you that.

    3. Strange_idea

      Strange_idea

      Well, squirrel girls both knows she's never going to and is ditzy enough to be totally caught off guard if she does. 

       

      They do both, but aqua man is an easily bored conqueror king first and a politician second, while t'challa's generally solving a trade dispute by hunting the most dangerous game. 

       

      With manhunter it's an "I'm every bit as strong as Superman and know EXACTLY what you just thought. What are you going to do?" thing. And probably easy to shape-shift into. 

       

      You KNOW Tony added some kind of massage device and it went wrong.

       

      This is actually Canon, but beast boy can turn into other humans (but isn't allowed to by writers) and even species like krytponians. Since several species are female only,  that would mean he can change genders. And if not he can borrow it from an animal. 

    4. JayDee

      JayDee

      Any character used to knock around with the Doom Patrol’s gonna be able to get freaky when the situation calls for it. They oughta bring back Danny the Street.

  13. While browsing Paheal, I accidentally clicked on an ad link, and now ads for Eve's Toys are appearing in the middle of news articles when I read them on my phone. Time to clear my cache, methinks.

    1. JayDee

      JayDee

      Yeah, only that way can you get it back to the Bad Dragon adverts you’re normally seeing!

  14. My evolving list of chores:

    1. Clean and polish front door
    2. Buy caulk for cabinets
    3. Laundry

    1. Swap out front-door wreath that's been there since Christmas
    2. Clean and polish front door
    3. Buy caulk for cabinets
    4. Laundry

    1. Buy poison for wasps' nest on front door frame
    2. Swap out front-door wreath that's been there since Christmas
    3. Clean and polish front door
    4. Buy caulk for cabinets
    5. Laundry

    I’m never gonna get to that laundry.

    1. JayDee

      JayDee

      1. Get invited to parlay with the wasp queen only to find yourself trapped as a breeding partner
      2. Somehow escape possibly involving a fellow prisoner spider, called Dave.
      3. Buy poison for wasps' nest on front door frame
      4. etc
    2. GeorgeGlass

      GeorgeGlass

      The good news: The wasps are dead. The front door is clean.

      The bad news: The laundry is untouched. And Dave didn’t make it.

      What am I going to tell his wife? She was planning to eat him tonight. I can’t just show up at her web with an apology and a Big Mac.

    3. JayDee

      JayDee

      Dave! He so wanted to be eaten by his wife. That poor guy. If a big bac is no good, take her Little Mac. Dude’s boxing career is over anyway.

  15. Ten ways you'll explain to your grandkids all those pictures of you in a face mask.

    1. "This was right before I fought Goro in the semifinals."

    2. "Unfortunately, our Kickstarter campaign for M*A*S*H: The Musical only collected a dollar eighty-nine."

    3. “Yeah, your gramma really loved it when I’d put on this mask and- You know what, never mind.”

    4. “They used to make all the ugly kids wear these. I hope puberty is kinder to you than it was to me.”

    5. "...an' I did it all with nothin' but my horse, my pearl-handled six-shooter, an' that there mask."

    6. “I could teach you, but be warned: The way of the shinobi is not an easy one.”

    7. “On the up side, I got paid five hundred dollars for being on When Rhinoplasties Go Wrong.”

    8. “This was long before you could just buy a kit to make meth.”

    9. “Safe sex made one hell of a comeback in the 2020s.”

    10. “I tell you, the very last thing you want when you’re fighting zombies is to smash one in the head and get splatter in your mouth.”

    1. JayDee
    2. FairySlayer

      FairySlayer

      It must be my age, but M*A*S*H: The Musical gave me the best laugh. Now you have me wondering which modern actors would be cast for the main roles… and who would play the helicopters?

      Still, all of them are fun. Now I’m almost tempted to start the process to have some grandkids of my own.

  16. I had to go to the post office yesterday. It was surprisingly busy, and it wasn’t easy to keep six feet away from everyone (although there were lines of tape on the floor for the folks standing in line). Ahead of me in line, a white man and a Latina woman got into an argument about one of them (I wasn’t sure who) cutting in front of them, and the guy told the woman to “go back to Mexico.” (Never mind that she spoke with an American accent.) Just overhearing that made me feel awful for the next hour. 

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. BronxWench

      BronxWench

      There was a similar incident in my local post office a few years ago, where an older woman lashed out at a young Latina woman. To my great joy, I was not the only one telling the older woman that her language and attitude were completely uncalled for, and that she was in the wrong to begin with.

      But right now, I think we should all try to be a bit kinder. We need the kindness.

    3. FairySlayer

      FairySlayer

      @JayDee I wish you got to write the action for when Bree from Narnia tracks this guy down and punishes him properly  whatever that means. (The guy is a horse’s ass, so it should fit.)

    4. JayDee

      JayDee

      Horses do have a nasty bite to them. And they kick like a...uh… horse.

  17. If you have Netflix and you’re looking for a fun animated series to watch, I’d like to recommend Glitch Techs. The main characters are fun and likable (Miko’s way of speaking reminds me a lot of Star Butterfly’s), and the show is full of amusing video game references that even non-fanatics like me get.

  18. Feeling kind of bummed about my legit writing right now. 

    • 25 rejections (and counting) from agents regarding my first book.
    • Stuck on my second book.
    • No good ideas for my third book.

     Why is legit writing so much harder than smut?

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. InvidiaRed
    3. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      Don’t despair first and foremost. Rejection sucks but when all else fails you might have to end up doing it yourself.

    4. GeorgeGlass

      GeorgeGlass

      Thanks for the support, all.

      FS, all of the responses from agents go something like this: Dear George, Thank you for including me in your agent queries. Unfortunately this doesn't feel like the right project for me at this time. I'm so sorry, but this is a pass for me. I wish you all the best in your endeavor. Sincerely, Agent X

      There is one bright spot: After posting this status update, I realized that I need to write something that is going to make me happy. So instead of going for another scifi epic, I’m going to try scifi comedy.

  19. I may diss my phone a lot, but I was very impressed a while back when I started dictating the final chapter of "Country Summer." Not only did it use a colon where I wanted it to --  instead of just writing the word "colon" -- but it put the chapter title in proper title case ("Chapter 11: Under the Stars"). You go, Google.

    1. FairySlayer

      FairySlayer

      Even better, a bunch of Ukrainians get to enjoy the story as well, since they’re already listening to all the recordings “for quality assurance purposes” anyway.

    2. GeorgeGlass

      GeorgeGlass

      I say let the Ukrainians have some fun. They’ve had a tough time of it lately.

  20. If stray cats were hot girls, my life would be a harem anime.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. JayDee

      JayDee

      You accidentally stroke a belly

      “BAKA!” *four sets of claws sink in.

    3. Strange_idea

      Strange_idea

      There's a few animes like that. One also has a grandiose swordswoman adorably scared of lightning that the protagonist always thought was a man. 

    4. Ghost-of-a-Chance

      Ghost-of-a-Chance

      I LOVE this! :rofl:

  21. All right, this one my phone didn't learn from me: When I typed "friends with," its first suggestion was "benefits."

    Okay, yes, that was actually what I was going to type, but that's beside the point. :)

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. FairySlayer

      FairySlayer

      At least it didn’t suggest “a pickup truck,” which would mean your phone thinks you use people. No, it sounds like your phone think’s you’re a nice guy and wants you to be happy.

    3. JayDee

      JayDee

      or “friends with Phoebe, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey and Monica” or it would mean your phone thinks you need to really over-specify 15 year ended sitcoms.

    4. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      I turned out to be the weird one cause I didn’t know what that meant. :spank2:

      and I gave her best friend a hug. Cause apparently not everyone sleeps with their friends.

  22. I’d like to salute the folks here who are doing NaNo this year. I’m still trying to finish the novel I started two NaNos ago, but I hope to be back in it with a new novel next year.

    1. BronxWench

      BronxWench

      Same here. I need a year off, I think…

       

    2. JayDee

      JayDee

      I’ve never managed one but I think it is a heck of an achievement for those who do. Can totally understand needing a break!

  23. After all these years, I'm finally ready to confess: I killed the radio star and framed Video for it. Sadly, Video died in prison in 1998, but I hope this confirmation of his innocence brings some comfort to his two children, MP3 and Streaming.

    1. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      Sadly, Video was quote unquote massacred by the titan Internet and prison guards including forensic cleaning personnel requiring extensive therapy to recover from the trauma.

      Widow Writing is sure to be glad of such good news.

    2. Strange_idea

      Strange_idea

      are you sure that didn’t happen in your mind? or did you run him over or something

  24. Had to share this article about the benefits of our collective-favorite hobby:

    https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2019/10/how-fanfiction-improves-writing/599197/

    1. BronxWench

      BronxWench

      Awesome article! I’m actually sort of torn that they didn’t mention us, but then again… :lol:

    2. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      The world isn’t ready. The consensus would break and then we’d all wake up in the stone age.  :angel:

       

  25. My birthday is tomorrow, and it’s a big one. Why didn’t I move to a planet with a larger orbit?