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Posted (edited)

Well, I am just enjoying a story that does admit "Life Happens" I have no vested intrest in the twins. I do like how Jashely treats his characters with respect and that he admits life happens.

I think who ever is trying to force him to go another way (other than the one he chooses) needs to learn that. I keep wandering how many people really read chapters 1 to 5.

Edited by YNP_Refugee
Guest JohnnyBanana
Posted

Well, I am just enjoying a story that does admit "Life Happens" I have no vested intrest in the twins. I do like how Jashely treats his characters with respect and that he admits life happens.

I think who ever is trying to force him to go another way (other than the one he chooses) needs to learn that. I keep wandering how many people really read chapters 1 to 5.

I read chapter 1 in the first couple hours it was out. Lol I've read the first 8 chapters about 20 times

Posted (edited)

I read chapter 1 in the first couple hours it was out. Lol I've read the first 8 chapters about 20 times

Figured it about you. My comment was about the guys that are now complaining about stuff that was there from chapter 1 and they just did not notice till now.

Edited by YNP_Refugee
Posted

Pfft.. not everyone cheats. I've had a few close calls, but never took the final step towards anything that could be considered cheating... and of course, there's the thoughts of "Damn... the things I'd do to that girl" that I'm sure most of us guys have had over the years. Never acted on them though. Keep on doing what you're doing, Joe.. it's pretty obvious that there's enough of us here that enjoy your writing style. F the haters :D

Posted

I enjoy the way you write. I find the style, now that I think about it, to be a lot different in certain ways. Also, I think the notion that everyone cheats is insane.

Posted

Who else is rooting for the twins? Personally, I am expecting the situation to get to the point where one or both of the twins to run away from their tyrant, well-meaning father, and for the parents to realize that any rift that could result in the family, whether between the twins or otherwise, would be their fault and that they made a mistake instead of giving their children the faith and support to stand together.

Guest King george the third
Posted

Hey man I was browsing on the web the other day and found your story on the old website and had to find you on here cause I read part of chapter 2 and had to read it from the beginning I've already caught up to 24 and I'll tell Ya its damn good keep it up and hope you get 25 done soon can't wait

Guest JohnnyBanana
Posted

Hey man I was browsing on the web the other day and found your story on the old website and had to find you on here cause I read part of chapter 2 and had to read it from the beginning I've already caught up to 24 and I'll tell Ya its damn good keep it up and hope you get 25 done soon can't wait

I can only imagine how much of a productive member of society you were from the time you read the first chapter to now lol. If I just discovered this story right now, you can kiss any chance of me getting to sleep tonight goodbye, until I'm up to date on everything. Wonderful story, wouldn't you say?

Guest Guest - J K
Posted

Hey everyone!

Not an update-on-chapter post (just started) but more kind of a thinking one. About an hour ago I received a very angry message from a reader who claimed that they had posted a review of the story but could not see it anymore. Their immediate conclusion was that I had taken it down because it was less than kindly. They then proceeded to slice apart the story, bringing up how Jack was too perfect, stuff like this doesn't happen, incest is unnatural and immoral, the story has plateaued and become completely predictable, etc. etc. etc.

You guys know me; I'm never going to tell someone that their opinion is wrong, even if I disagree with it. But it got me thinking...the way I write is probably very, very different than how most people write. Not trying to set myself apart or anything, like I'm some sort of one-in-a-million gift or anything, but I am aware that I don't follow set 'rules' of writing. I remember, a few months ago, someone posted a comment basically telling me I had to follow the stringent outline of writing, i.e. exposition, rising action, etc.

This seems to tie into people who believe that the story has not flowed like most stories thus far. On the one hand, that's kind of what I'm going for. I loathe being tied down to rules of writing; I've never found that they help me. I recall in college (Jack will go through a similar experience), I was in a script-writing course and I decide to write my one-act play in a very different style than everyone else. The main criticism of it? It wasn't like everyone else's. The problem I had with that criticism? It failed to acknowledge the fact that everyone else's scripts were, basically, the exact same script, just with different character names.

Now, I don't mean this as a smack-down of other stories. Hell, even back on xnxx (which seemed to have a million of the same exact story) my favorite authors were the ones who broke boundaries and defied the rules. See, the 'outline' of a basic story doesn't fit into my story because I'm writing as a slice-of-life sort of tale, not a 'this is a story for the sake of a story'. Life doesn't follow a stringent outline of exposition, rising action, climax, etc. I'm aware that this is not how most writers write, but I take that as a compliment. I don't want to be like most writers. I want to be my own author with my own story.

And I've always been drawn to stories that defy the conventions of storytelling. Hell, look at anything Tarantino's ever made; he prides himself on flaunting basic 'writing rules'. My favorite film of last year, Boyhood, didn't follow any structure aside from the structure you'd have to find in a person's life. Hell, one of my favorite films of all time, Tree of Life, isn't a story in the general sense but an experience of lives and time and space. Does it have a story structure? Probably, but not in the basic, according-to-Hoyle sense.

Ramble, ramble, ramble, I think my point is that, if it seems like I'm making deviations from form, it's because I am. If I need to break rules in order to tell the story or to serve the characters, I will. I find it more honest and more believable, at least from my perspective. Do you have to feel the same way? Of course not. Trust me, I learn more from criticism than from praise (but I love praise too, if I can allow one moment of immodesty).

One last thing I noticed from the message: the author seemed to believe that Jack was 'too perfect' because he didn't cheat. In fact, I've noticed that almost every person who has ever called Jack 'too perfect' has basically demanded that he cheat because 'that's what teenagers do'. I was not perfect in high school and yet I had two girlfriends and I never once considered cheating on them. I'd like to think others have done the same.

Anyway, just thought I'd share a bit of my mind with all of you. If this has been too long, I apologize but I like to go at a topic like this in-depth, so you know that I'm taking it seriously. If you guys love the story, trust me, I am so very very grateful to you all. Every praise brings a smile to my face and every time I post, I pray that it lives up to your expectations. You are all the best audience an author like me could hope for...way more than I deserve. And I am working my hardest to stay worthy of your praise and attention.

So, in short...love you guys and I hope the next chapter is worth whatever wait you have to go through :)

Just wanted to thank you for that last post of yours. I agree, not everyone likes your writing style because it doesn't follow the 'normal' format, but who the fuck cares? Society has become this 'standardized' POS and it drives me nuts!Where did the innovation go?Where did the original, riveting content go? Not even these stories, media in general! The movies, heck even games! (don't even get me started on the annualization of video games, stupidist fucking thing ever done to game content (yes I'm talking about COD you obsessed idgits))Anywho, thanks and keep it up!Oh and I had one girlfriend for 4 of my 5 years of high school, never once cheated, 'slipped up' or even honestly thought about it! If you're cheating, you shouldn't even be in that relationship in the first place! They deserve better than someone who cheats, and if you're going to defend that you were bored or something, then get out of the relationship you scum. (I know, 'dem fightin' words, but I strongly feel against it.) another 5 years later and we're still happily together, sans-cheating. It can be done, it's not something all teenagers do. Just the ones who don't understand the basic concept of respect.

Guest Guest - J K
Posted

Just wanted to thank you for that last post of yours.

I agree, not everyone likes your writing style because it doesn't follow the 'normal' format, but who the fuck cares? Society has become this 'standardized' POS and it drives me nuts!

Where did the innovation go?

Where did the original, riveting content go?

Not even these stories, media in general! The movies, heck even games! (don't even get me started on the annualization of video games, stupidist fucking thing ever done to game content (yes I'm talking about COD you obsessed idgits))

Anywho, thanks and keep it up!

Oh and I had one girlfriend for 4 of my 5 years of high school, never once cheated, 'slipped up' or even honestly thought about it! If you're cheating, you shouldn't even be in that relationship in the first place! They deserve better than someone who cheats, and if you're going to defend that you were bored or something, then get out of the relationship you scum. (I know, 'dem fightin' words, but I strongly feel against it.) another 5 years later and we're still happily together, sans-cheating.

It can be done, it's not something all teenagers do. Just the ones who don't understand the basic concept of respect.

Guest King George the third
Posted

I can only imagine how much of a productive member of society you were from the time you read the first chapter to now lol. If I just discovered this story right now, you can kiss any chance of me getting to sleep tonight goodbye, until I'm up to date on everything. Wonderful story, wouldn't you say?

Old military habits didn't sleep for two days so I had all the time plus no job right now and don't get along with people so Ya lol

Posted

Update time!

About a third of the way through with two days off coming up to get more writing done :D

A quick lament, though, for my complete lack of artistic talent in the drawing category. As much as I like to think I'm a good writer (your support and comments help) I am terrible at drawing. Like, my stick figures are to normal stick figures as stick figures are to Picasso. That bad. I bring this up because I was struck with the idea the other day to draw character portraits for all the characters in my story, just to give a visual representation for how I think they would look in real life. This was, of course, thought of in those few moments between waking up and full consciousness, where anything can happen (including kissing a girl you don't realize is your cousin). I thought it would be a really cool idea, especially if I could somehow get it posted on my page on the site, but, sadly, lack of artistic talent means it will not come to pass. Sorry.

Anyway, plowing through Chapter 25, which is looking to be slightly longer than a normal chapter, even though it is less plot-driven and more character-driven. See you soon!

Posted

Anyway, plowing through Chapter 25, which is looking to be slightly longer than a normal chapter, even though it is less plot-driven and more character-driven. See you soon!

Longer is better! Altogether now, "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" ;)

Guest daddy's  girl
Posted

Let me predict what the next saga shall be titled... "Tara moves in"!

Hey Joe,

I think now it's time to really bring TARA back to story

Because story getting on very sad part so please please please bring some happiness to JACK'S LIFE

hope you will bring TARA back very soon.

With lots of love and big hug

Posted

As I've said before, I see the twins running away since it seems like both the parents aren't going to change their minds. Hopefully, the parents realize they are doing more harm than good. After all, good intentions often have negative results.

Posted

Since the next chapter will be more character-driven, does that mean we will learn about how Alan and Amanda became more than siblings?

Posted

Update time!

About a third of the way through with two days off coming up to get more writing done :D

A quick lament, though, for my complete lack of artistic talent in the drawing category. As much as I like to think I'm a good writer (your support and comments help) I am terrible at drawing. Like, my stick figures are to normal stick figures as stick figures are to Picasso. That bad. I bring this up because I was struck with the idea the other day to draw character portraits for all the characters in my story, just to give a visual representation for how I think they would look in real life. This was, of course, thought of in those few moments between waking up and full consciousness, where anything can happen (including kissing a girl you don't realize is your cousin). I thought it would be a really cool idea, especially if I could somehow get it posted on my page on the site, but, sadly, lack of artistic talent means it will not come to pass. Sorry.

Anyway, plowing through Chapter 25, which is looking to be slightly longer than a normal chapter, even though it is less plot-driven and more character-driven. See you soon!

From what I've seen of Picasso and stick figures, I'll take the stick figures. From my perspective, they're more realistic.

I think Ayn Rand's philosophical perspective on art is about the most definitive, rational, sensible one I've ever encountered: The purpose of art is to communicate the ideal, to portray things the way they ought to be. Examples are her characters Howard Roark in Fountainhead and John Galt in Atlas Shrugged.

Art puts into a concrete form something representing the abstractions of ideas, thoughts and words so it is more readily understandable by the observer. For a contrast typifying this perspective, look at the characters of Roark and Toohey in Fountainhead.

In that context, Picasso is hardly an artist unless the grotesque distortions he drew of human being is something he considered an ideal in which case I'd consider your stick figures a step up.

Guest JohnnyBanana
Posted

Old military habits didn't sleep for two days so I had all the time plus no job right now and don't get along with people so Ya lol

Thank you for your service. That's completely sincere. I have a brother who just got out the Army. Lol he doesn't get along with people either. But seriously, I just want you to know I have nothing but respect for the honorably discharged.
Guest justaquestion
Posted

Believe it or not I'm on dads side. Just seemed like the story would be fine if they weren't together. Plus would open new story lines if they got relationships of their own and moved on from eachother. Also never really liked Alan just seemed...pointless ( lack of a better word )

Posted

Just thought of it, but I wonder if the twins know of the many problems the father outlined about them continuing their relationship outside the house.

Guest
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