MidnightBliss Posted April 21, 2008 Report Posted April 21, 2008 Okay I have no idea what this particular section is for, but I thought I'd add to it. So yea add your favorite quotes to this list Make sure to put what they are from. Put as many as you want and I guess I'll go first. 1. Snake? SNAKE?! SNNNNAAAAAAKKKKKKEEEEEEE!!!!- Col. Roy Campbell, Metal Gear Solid 2. But... invader's blood marches through my veins, like giant RADIOACTIVE RUBBER PANTS! The pants command me. Do not ignore my veins!- Zim, Invader Zim 3. Zim: Be gone with you! I've had enough of your nonsense from your smelly mouth filled with... corn! Dib: But I haven't been eating corn Zim: [shouts] Liar! -Invader Zim 4. Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.- I have no clue 5.Ed Bighead: Rocko, what're you doing? Rocko: [With a paddle in his hand] We're playing spank the monkey. -Rocko's Modern Life 6. Long ago in a distant land, I, Aku, the shape shifting master of darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil. But a foolish samurai warrior wielding a magic sword stepped forth to oppose me. Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time, and flung him into the future where my evil is law. Now the fool seeks to return to the past and undo the future that is Aku.-Aku, Samurai Jack 7. I told you that Orphanage attacked me first.-Richard the Warlock, Looking For Group Quote
hellagoddess Posted April 21, 2008 Report Posted April 21, 2008 'With excitment like this, who needs enemas?' -Short Circut Quote
Shinju Posted April 22, 2008 Report Posted April 22, 2008 Quotes from my favorite invader Zim episode, Bolognius Maximus: *~oOo~*~oOo~*~oOo~* Zim: Fool! You think I would share the cure with you? I'll find a cure and keep it all to myself and then watch you transform more and more into what you really are deep down in your heart! Dib: Deep down I'm bologna? Zim: ...Yes. Dib: That's just dumb. Zim: Dumb like a moose, Dib. Dumb like a moose! *~oOo~*~oOo~*~oOo~* *~oOo~*~oOo~*~oOo~* Zim: That's it, Dib. Laugh now, yes. Laugh and frolic in your vile meats of evil... meats of evil! But know that vengeance shall be mine. Oh, how it will be mine! *~oOo~*~oOo~*~oOo~* Favorite quotes Running with Scissors (the movie): *~oOo~*~oOo~*~oOo~* Dr. Finch: You can't come in here, this is my mastabatorium! *~oOo~*~oOo~*~oOo~* *~oOo~*~oOo~*~oOo~* Dr. Finch: Literally, the shit is pointing out of the pot! Towards Heaven, to God. My turd is a direct communication from the Holy Father. *~oOo~*~oOo~*~oOo~* Favorite quotes from the movie Jesus's Son (1999), starring Billy Crudup, Jack Black and Samantha Morton: *~oOo~*~oOo~*~oOo~* Georgie: Does everything you touch turn to shit? Does this happen to you every time? FH (Billy Crudup): [weeping] No wonder everybody calls me "Fuck-Head." Georgie (Jack Black): It's a name that's going to stick. FH: I realize that. Georgie: "Fuck-Head" is gonna ride you to your grave. FH: I already said so, I agreed with you in advance. *~oOo~*~oOo~*~oOo~* *~oOo~*~oOo~*~oOo~* FH: All this work is messing with my high. *~oOo~*~oOo~*~oOo~* *~oOo~*~oOo~*~oOo~* Georgie: We'll camp in the wilderness, and in the morning we'll breakfast on its haunches! *~oOo~*~oOo~*~oOo~* *~oOo~*~oOo~*~oOo~* E.R. Nurse: Patient complains of knife in head. FH: Stabbing headache? *~oOo~*~oOo~*~oOo~* Favorite Quotes from American Beauty: *~oOo~*~oOo~*~oOo~* Lester Burnham: Look at me, jerking off in the shower... This will be the high point of my day; it's all downhill from here. *~oOo~*~oOo~*~oOo~* *~oOo~*~oOo~*~oOo~* Lester Burnham: Then I guess I'll have to throw in a sexual harassment charge. Brad Dupree: Against who? Lester Burnham: Against YOU. Can you prove that you didn't offer to save my job if I let you blow me? Brad Dupree: Man, you are one twisted fuck. Lester Burnham: Nope; I'm just an ordinary guy who has nothing left to lose. *~oOo~*~oOo~*~oOo~* *~oOo~*~oOo~*~oOo~* Carolyn Burnham: Your father and I were just discussing his day at work. Why don't you tell our daughter about it, honey? Lester Burnham: Janie, today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus. *~oOo~*~oOo~*~oOo~* *~oOo~*~oOo~*~oOo~* Lester Burnham: Remember those posters that said, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life"? Well, that's true of every day but one - the day you die. *~oOo~*~oOo~*~oOo~* Favorite quotes from Fight Club (the movie): *~oOo~*~oOo~*~oOo~* Tyler Durden: Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken. *~oOo~*~oOo~*~oOo~* *~oOo~*~oOo~*~oOo~* Narrator: If I did have a tumor, I'd name it Marla. *~oOo~*~oOo~*~oOo~* Quote
Guest Zyx Posted April 22, 2008 Report Posted April 22, 2008 (edited) "BENJAMIN BARKER!!!" -Sweeney Todd there's nothing funnier than screaming that at random people xD Edited April 22, 2008 by Zyx Quote
Zhaladjin Posted April 23, 2008 Report Posted April 23, 2008 "A man sick of Weird Al Yankovic is a man sick of life" - Homer Simpson Raymy 1 Quote
DarkInuLord Posted April 25, 2008 Report Posted April 25, 2008 "A man sick of Weird Al Yankovic is a man sick of life" - Homer Simpson Weird Al is one of the greatest musicians ever, even though I've grown out of 'funny' music for slower, more classic/romantic music. :3 Oh and Elliott Smith, Elliot Smith is a God. tsumi wa kami ga boku wo utsukushiku tsukutta kotokimi no hitomi ni utsutta boku ga ikenai no sa batsu wa boku ga ai ni mitasare sugiteru koto soredemo boku wa kimi wo aishite shimau darou? Translation. God’s crime was to make someone as beautiful as II can see the reflection of me in your eyes and it’s no good My divine punishment is that the love I give will make your heart burst Nevertheless I am in love with you so I should probably stop this… -Tamaki Suoh Quote
Shinju Posted April 27, 2008 Report Posted April 27, 2008 More Fight Club quotes. Yes, I am stuck in 1999. Narrator: Was it ticking? Airport Security Officer: Actually throwers don't worry about ticking 'cause modern bombs don't tick. Narrator: Sorry, throwers? Airport Security Officer: Baggage handlers. But, when a suitcase vibrates, then the throwers gotta call the police. Narrator: My suitcase was vibrating? Airport Security Officer: Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but every once in a while... [whispering] Airport Security Officer: it's a dildo. Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo. Narrator: I don't own... Quote
caffeinegoddess Posted May 8, 2008 Report Posted May 8, 2008 I don't actually have my quotes on hand, so some of them are gonna be pretty innaccurate. ~Lucy: Daughter of the Devil~ Cop: Is that a dildo in your pocket? Lucy: No, I'm just happy to see you! Satan's secretary: Hurray for Lucy and her horrible dildo! ~Xavier: Renegade Angel~ boy: *hands Xavier a hammer* Bash yourself in the raisins, Granny. Xavier: By bashing myself in the raisins, I'm smashing my mind in the balls. *hits his crotch with the hammer* OOF! It didn't work... *keels over* ~Futurama~ Universe 1 Bender: Bite my glorious golden ass! Zaph: Kiff, I've made it with a woman. Inform the men! Zaph: (to Leela) I do believe we've... met. Bender: He means you guys did it. Chatter guy 1: Hello! Are there any girls here? Chatter guy 2: Yeah, bring in the hot chicks! Leela: I'm a woman. Now, I don't like to play games, so I'll just tell you. I'm a one-eyed alien spaceship captain. Chatter guy 1: Eeep, it's a girl. Chatter guy 2: I'm scared. Farnsworth: God! Buddha! One of you guys do something! Satan, you owe me! Bender: Doomed! Dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooomed! Farnsworth: Upon further analysis I've discovered that the essence of taste is just plain water. Fry: Wow, Bender! You really are a great cook. Farnsworth: Yes, yes, just plain water with trace amounts of LSD. ~Family Guy~ Chris: Hey little dude, you want some icecream for your birthday? Stewie: Alright, but no sprinkles. For every sprinkle I find, I will kill you. Stewie: My god, it's finally happened. He's collapsed under his own weight like a neutron star! Peter: Hey, Brian, look! I made a waterslide in the house! *falls down the stairs* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Brian: I'm not gonna call the hospital cause you won't learn anything if I do. Peter: Since when did they change the meaning of to to from? Brian: I think they sent a pamphlet on it last week, but you probably thought it said from Peter instead of to Peter so... You know, it's just easier to call you stupid. Trisha Takanawa: I'm standing outside of New England's finest new hotel because they don't let Asians inside. Brian: You speak English? Illegal Immigrant: No, just that last part and this one explaining it. Brian: You're kidding. II: Que? Stewie: Victory is mine! Lois: (after Mel Gibson falls off Mt. Rushmoor) My god, he just walked right over. Peter: Of course. Christians don't believe in gravity. Carl Sagan: (on the redneck version of Cosmos) The cosmos are filled with- redneck dub: lots and lots Sagan: of stars, theoretically created when- dub- Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood Sagan: thus leading to the creation of everything we see today. ~Robot Chicken~ bar guy: Are you an angel? Cuz I've got an erection. ~Home Movies~ Brendon: I just want you to know, I have learned absolutely nothing! ~Pablo Francisco~ movie guy voice: They were lovers, they were homies, there were Homiesexuals. regular voice: What's a gay driveby like anyway? Is it just a bunch of gay guys throwing skittles out with window yelling "TASTE THE RAINBOW, FUCKERS!"? ~Carlos Mencia~ as Punjab: Oh, forgive me, I should not have insulted you, for in my country, cows are sacred. Carlos: This is it! Moses versus Jesus! Christianity vs. Judaism! Coke vs. Pepsi! They're besically the same thing! Edge: Who is that? Captain Crunch? Carlos: No, it's Elrond Hubbard, founder of Scientology! pirate Carlos: It says we have to find the haunted closet and bone the ghost within. Why is it for beaners, it's not enough to just come out to the family. It has to be some huge public event, like we'll be at a quinciniera and someone will be like *gay voice* "I have an announcement to make!" And grandpa will be like *old Mexican voice* "No, no NO! You're not gonna talk about kulo while I'm eating!" Drill Seargent Carlos: If you want people to stop criticizing you for getting high, STOP GETTING HIGH! pothead: But what do I do with the 6 ounces I still have? DS Carlos: Do what the man who brought them to this country did. SHOVE THEM UP YOUR ASS! Judge Carlos: He thought he was driving stick, but his car's an automatic. Hey stupid, keep your mouth on the road. For every stroke of genius, there's a retarded reaction. (about his performance at a children's hospital) And they were like, "Hey, do the dee dee dee joke," but you know it's a lot harder when they're staring right at you. What if it sucked? They would know. ~Steve Byrne~ Everyone's always like, "Where you from?" And I'm like "Seatle (?)" and they're like "No, seriously, where you from?" It's like I'm from the little mutant island of Half-Asia just south of the Philippines with just me, Tiger Woods, and Keanu Reeves playing volleyball on the beach all day. Quote
Shinju Posted May 10, 2008 Report Posted May 10, 2008 Zaph: Kiff, I've made it with a woman. Inform the men! Best quote ever. Quote
maidenhair Posted June 6, 2008 Report Posted June 6, 2008 7. I told you that Orphanage attacked me first.-Richard the Warlock, Looking For Group Wonderful! I love that strip! Okay...here are a few of my favorites... The Simpsons - Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true! - Homer Donuts. Is there anything they can't do? - Homer South Park - Screw you guys, I'm going home! - Eric Cartman Doctor Who - People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but *actually* from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... time-y wimey... stuff. The angels have the phonebox Douglas Adams - Hitchhiker's Guide to Galaxy "In the beginning the universe was created. This made a lot of people mad and was generally considered a bad idea." I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. Terry Pratchett's Discworld Novels - The Archchancellor polished his staff as he walked along. It was a particularly good one, six feet long and quite magical. Not that he used magic very much. In his experience, anything that couldn't be disposed of with a couple of whacks from six feet of oak was probably immune to magic as well. - Soul Music "Luck is my middle name," said Rincewind, indistinctly. "Mind you, my firstname is Bad." - Interesting Times Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four. - Interesting Times "Give a man a fire and keep him warm for a day. Light a man on fire and he will be warm for rest of his life." Various anime quotes - "You know why big brothers are born first? To protect the little ones that come after them." - Ichigo (Bleach) "Now I'll show you how real vampires do battle!" - Alucard (Hellsing) "And what's the real lesson? Don't leave things in the fridge." - Spike Spiegel (Cowboy Bebop) Quote
Guest Zanthious Posted August 6, 2008 Report Posted August 6, 2008 "I talked to God..He says he can get me out of this, but you're fucked!" (The crazy Irish guy to Mel Gibson in Braveheart) "You wanna play a game eh? Why don't you play Hide and go fuck yoursef?" (unknown) And my fav...... " 42" ( Hitchikers guide to the galaxy) Quote
Guest Jaxxy Posted August 12, 2008 Report Posted August 12, 2008 Weird Al is one of the greatest musicians ever Haha~ I saw him in concert in -year mumbled-... he was on tour with, of all bands, The Monkees, for their -number mumbled- -year reunion tour! He walked down the aisle in the audience, crooning "One More Minute" (a fave!), and came within 20 feet of me! Squeee <3 Ummm, on-topicness is hawt, too, so... Damn, I can't for the life of me remember what was going on or what was exactly said, but... I used to collect TMNT comics, as completely choked with awesomenes and win-dom as they are. I think Raphael was starting a fight with Donatello? Anyway, he said something to the effect of, "Got a problem with that, Stick-Boy?!" and I p'd. Quote
Saitochan Posted September 2, 2008 Report Posted September 2, 2008 "Lois, look at this facts about sex. Sex turns straight people gay and gay people into Mexicans. Everyone goes down a notch" Peter Griffin, Family Guy Hey, I'd love to watch invader Zim again! Anyone knows where I can watch it? Quote
SereneLies Posted July 29, 2009 Report Posted July 29, 2009 Okay, so not quite sure if I'll get this right but I am pretty sure it is one of the most epic lines in movie history "None of you understand. I'm not locked up in here with you. You're locked up in here with me." Rorschach from Watchmen Quote
Petofsuccubus Posted December 3, 2009 Report Posted December 3, 2009 My favorite is from the rather bad English dub of Death Note. "I'll eat this potato chip!" I nearly suffocated when I first heard it. Quote
Danyealle Posted December 4, 2009 Report Posted December 4, 2009 "The central heating broke down and I had to hold my pussy in front of it. It was frozen solid." - Mrs. Slocombe - Are You Being Served "What about this fog! My pussy's been gasping all night." - Mrs. Slocombe - Are You Being Served "You're dead but your not dead dead" -Lister-Red Dwarf Quote
Pyrocore Posted July 23, 2010 Report Posted July 23, 2010 May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house- George Carlin "Down the tubes -- hear that one a lot. People say, "Ah, the country is going down the tubes." What tubes? Have you seen any tubes? Where are these tubes? And where do they go? And how come there's more than one tube? It would seem to me, one country, one tube. But is every state all of a sudden have to have its own tube now? One tube is all you need. But a tube that big? Somebody would have seen it by now. "Hey Joey! Get a load of these *****' tubes!" Have you seen any tubes? Where are they? What do people mean by saying America is going down the tubes? Do you agree? Disagree? Why?- george carlin greatest man ever to live IMO Quote
Asexual Biped Posted January 26, 2011 Report Posted January 26, 2011 I don't know where I got these, but I love them: "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you." "Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried nailing jello to the wall." Quote
BronxWench Posted August 16, 2012 Report Posted August 16, 2012 Aside from my signature... "We stand upon the precipice of change. The world fears the inevitable plummet into the abyss. Watch for that moment... and when it comes, do not hesitate to leap. It is only when you fall that you learn whether you can fly." - Flemeth, Dragon Age II "'I don't like this'? That's right up there with 'What could possibly go wrong?'" - Varric Tethras, Dragon Age II Quote
sumeragichan Posted August 17, 2012 Report Posted August 17, 2012 Deadwood Be in my joint in two hours, we're forming a fuckin' government.-Al Swearengen I'm drunk. Correct. What the fuck is it to you?-Calamity Jane Al-You listen to me, hmm? Listen. (Tugs ear) I (hand shadowing eyes, turns head side to side) find cocksuckers (Points to drawing). I find. (Repeats hand eye motion) I find dope (holds dope bag out) and cocksuckers (points to drawing) who steal (pulls dope bag to chest) fuckin’ dope, huh? (Throws dope bag down) Mr. Wu: Cocksucka. Al: Oh, yeah. (Walking Wu down the stairs) I’ll find those fucking cocksuckers. Now get the fuck out of here, Wu. The back way, you understand? The back way, or we’ll start getting people having the wrong fucking idea of things around here, huh? Quote
JayDee Posted August 18, 2012 Report Posted August 18, 2012 (edited) "There is no art in turning a goddess into a witch, a virgin into a whore, but the opposite operation, to give dignity to what has been scorned, to make the degraded disireable, that calls for art or for character." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Edited August 18, 2012 by JayDee Quote
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