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Raymy last won the day on March 28 2013

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  1. On 2013-08-05, BookMaggot wrote: The Title was very difficult for me. I hope I can justify it in part 2 of this chapter. I split the chapter into two parts, not only because it was getting too long, but also to get something posted. That's been too long, also, hasn't it? I didn't even have the gumption to put an author comment in but I wanted to put this out so badly that I just didn't care about the extras. I don't usually like cliffies but since I had decided to split the chapter, I hoped this would be an interesting place. Leaves you wondering how Ichigo figures into it. Me too, cuz I haven't written much about him, yet. Your flattery lifts me very high. Thank you. I don't know that I can agree about "brilliant writing" but I can accept that you have strong feelings and I'm so glad I can affect you that way. I'm especially fond of Yoruichi in cat form because of my two black cats. I will have her explain to Kisuke what she was up to, but I'm not sure where I'm putting it. It may not be in part 2 but much later.
  2. On 2013-5-26, kurahieiritrJIO wrote: I'm so happy you think I did a good job with him. As for the internal monologue, I was concerned there was too much of that, but it's good to know that someone enjoyed it enough to want more. I don't know if I've kept the same style for him later, but I'll put some thought into trying to keep that consistent. On 2013-5-27, kurahieiritrJIO wrote: It was a little oneshot, really. But, I'm the kind of person who will try to incorporate what I've written in this chapter with future chapters. There really isn't any plot development here except to set up the next chapter a little bit. Now I've hit a slump because of my own high expectations and haven't written (or posted) in quite awhile. I hope to swing back around and get my next chapter out during my next vacation period. (beginning of July) Thanks so much for reading and reviewing.
  3. kurahieiritrJIO wrote on 2013-05-26: I know I only mentioned that Bya was in human clothes without specifying what exactly he was wearing. I'm afraid that is something I have difficulty with and has been mentioned before. Scene descriptions is something I tend to skip past when reading stories. I don't know why. I enjoy those details when I watch movies or anime but don't like reading it in a book. So that is why I'm still struggling to remember to include such things when I write. Thanks for reading and reviewing with concrit. I really appreciate when readers take time to think of something special to say. I sometimes enjoy a lack of intimacy in stories but for my own, I tend to want some rationale for behaviour. I'm glad my viewpoint appeals to you enough to comment on it. It is really like Renji to blurt stuff out before thinking. I was surprised to see you thought I portrayed him as a player. I didn't think his history was excessive but somewhat reserved, considering his lifespan. I'll have to reread my story and perhaps revise it to fit more in line with what I was trying to project. But thanks for your impressions. I like when readers make me think about the message I'm conveying. I'm also very appreciative of your time in reviewing me.
  4. Sorry to take so long to respond to your query. I finished Alternated Tracks, with the unrevised chapters, and am glad you posted them. So, from my perspective, I'd like to continue reading the 3rd story, even if you haven't revised it yet. Since I'm rereading and reviewing from the beginning and I'm excruciatingly slow at it, by the time I get to the unrevised chapters, you may have revised them. But I'm itching to read more now cuz you tempted me with what I might have to expect and I don't want to wait, knowing you're done, with only revising to do. Ultimately, It's your baby, but if I have any influence, I vote for posting the entire 3rd story.
  5. "Thirst" by City and Colour Ahhhh, I just found this song. Heard it on the radio a couple of times and fell in love with his voice. Went to iTunes and bought the song. I'm listening to it over and over and still not tired of it. I had to buy the album cuz I can listen to this beautiful voice all day. When I think of, fates worse than death All I can think of, is something you said You said we were golden, Bright like the sun And now I am stranded, Knowin' I'm not the one An ocean of anger, flowin' through me Bloodstained and broken, from what I failed to see Just like a snake charmer, you led me astray Living in distress, hopin' help was on the way Chorus: In the midst of a storm, searching for shelter I came upon, one single feather A half-hearted wish, for something better Gracefully cursed I thirst ... Attached to the soil, I'm dyed in the wool There's iron in my blood, yet so vulnerable But after I'm gone, once I finally leave You will be left alone, to the wolves and the thieves Chorus Ahhhh, yes. Lyrics are exceptional but the tonal quality of his voice and it's purity. So beautiful. I'm in bliss.
  6. Thanks so much for updating, I'm anxious to read beyond chapter 33. I have to find out how the two deal with the shootings.
  7. Not to be nitpicky, buuuut ... your acronym spells sinloin Pronounced Error Ridiculously Vilifies Each Reader's Tiresome Evil Demons D R A G Q U E E N
  8. Deadly Internal Suffering Answers Paralyzing Paranoia, Effectively Altering Reality And No-one Cares Especially S I R L O I N
  9. LOL. I hope that nickname doesn't become his permanent handle. You'll have to let us know what your handles end up being. Haven't heard from you in a long time. I guess training takes up a lot of it. Hope all is going well, there.
  10. Okay, yeah. I read the first and second books. I see the fourth posted but I won't read it until I read the third. Where is the third? I haven't reviewed yet, because I've been just barrelling through. So, sorry about lack of feedback. I'll get there eventually when I reread from the beginning. It's sort of like the way you describe their intimacy. I can't take my time on the first round, too stimulated. Heh, heh. General impression, though, is that I like it. Otherwise, I wouldn't be reading it steady and daydreaming about the pair.
  11. Sorry to sidetrack this thread. Buuuuut ... I'm still gonna. Hey, thanks for the clarification. Although, I watched the series before I read this post, so I figured out my error pretty quick. Since I'm so into Bleach (and know you've seen it), I made a parallel between KT and Grimmjow's attitudes. But Takumi just takes the cake! I totally agree with "cute little prude". There was this one subbed line that described him as "clueless" and that's him in a nutshell. I love that about him.
  12. Feeling pretty good today, thought I'd write it down. Maybe it will cheer me up when I read it in the future.

  13. Oh my Gods! I laughed so hard. I don't know "wot" was intended for the words "tak" or "kts" but I loved the word, "wot". I think I'm going to be seeing that spelling in my head every time I say the word from now on. It makes sense to me if I hear a British accent when I read it.
  14. Oh hilarious! I just had to say something. When I first read this, I read "Unohana wiped Shunsui's ass." I thought, WTF? Did he soil himself or something? Oh yeah, I know better, I read the chapter, but I couldn't stop laughing at the imagery.
  15. Chapter 5. Altered States: Uryƫ & Chad in a Joint Venture On 2013-04-12 FicticiousDelicious wrote: I think Ishida takes pride in his independence and is stubborn to the point of almost sacrificing his own well-being, but not so much so that he won't eventually give in to his need for connection (from being alone so much), which I think is stronger. (hence his seeking out Ichigo in the name of proving that Quincy's are stronger but really, it was to make a connection) If he didn't seek a confidant (in Urahara) or solace (with Chad), he could very well become depressed, wallowing in his secrecy and pride. I think he chose Urahara to confide in because he represents a father figure that he would like to have instead of the one he's got. Chad has a maturity that is beyond his age but is symbolically represented in his body. He's already come to terms with his childhood struggles and now faces adult ones. While his peers are still working out their teenage angst and parental issues, he's moving toward a crucial breakthrough about his very existence. And yes, Mary Jane has been very helpful in his acceptance of life's curves. He believes in meditation and fully embracing your thoughts and feelings, and so has a personal mission to bring his friends enlightenment. Both Ichigo and Uryu have impaired (somewhat due to immaturity) understanding of themselves and of relationships, so any assistance Chad can bring is a good thing, I think. You're right. Unshackling the chains of duty and routine, even safety to some extent, can free you to desire more, experience more, live fuller. If you're hindering yourself by denying your own choices, you're left "empty". That's my take on it. I don't see either of them being crass or raunchy. Chad speaks sparingly and when he does, it's careful and gentle. Uryu has tight sensibilities which, even with the help of MJ, still keep his speech on an intellectual level. Thanks for helping me with that one phrase when Uryu is surprised by Chad's revelation that he'd wanted to kiss and hold Uryu for some time. My first attempt was not in keeping with what I just described. I hope what he ended up saying was more suitable. He's a bit insistent at this point because he's highly aroused and has figured out what keeps him stimulated. When he's in a battle crisis, he's also commanding and assertive. I think that if he doesn't have inhibitions to counteract his nature, it would be normal for him to state his needs. You know, your speaking this sentence makes me think about trying to incorporate tragic heroes into the story. Mmmmn. Inner fire, baby. Just waiting to be fanned. Man, every time you give such a wonderful review, I remember back to your first review of Driven where you stated, "I'm not the best at reviewing works." Well, in my opinion, your ARE the best at reviewing works. Not only do you bring me joy with your praise and enthusiasm, but you often have excellent con crit that I take to heart. Thank you. *bows head*
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