The Outrageous Claim Thread

[moss gypsy]

i rigged the pyrotechnics at a famous country singer's show to blow up the stage.

[Imasuky Lomae]

I'm can poop gold and pee silver

[kagome26isawsome]

I can control the weather XD

[Imasuky Lomae]

I can punch a god

[kagome26isawsome]

i can bring patrick swayze back from the dead to kick Kenny ortegas ass over making the remake of dirty dancing

[LockedBox]

Fourty Two

[kagome26isawsome]

I can make it rain meatballs and i am the voice of kim possible

[moss gypsy]

I am single-handedly responsible for all of quantum theory, including, but not limited to, wave-particle duality, the uncertainty principle, and string theory.

[kagome26isawsome]

I can read minds and just with a simple flick of my hands, all your doubts and problems go away..also i can broadcast any tv show from my eyes

[LockedBox]

With one word I can convert a twilight fan over to good literature.

[Imasuky Lomae]

I can write something worse than My Immortal.

[SparkyMuse]

(I'm not sure anybody can top that one, but here goes…...)

I can beat Chuck Norris in a Roundhouse Kick contest.

[Rick_Andrew]

I can act so poorly the crowd will  scream “Chuck Norris deserves an Oscar !”

[kagome26isawsome]

i can snap my fingers and an isle in walmart will be cleaned and zoned like management wants

[GeorgeGlass]

I can say something so self-contradictory that it’s not self-contradictory at all.

[Rick_Andrew]

Speechless, just laughing at what George said !

I can get my teenager off to school—BEFORE noon.

Edited September 15, 2021 by Rick_Andrew

[Desiderius Price]

I’ll start off easy.  “Read my lips, no new taxes.”

[GeorgeGlass]

13 hours ago, Desiderius Price said:

I’ll start off easy.  “Read my lips, no new taxes.”

What he actually said was, “No nude Texans.”

[BronxWench]

47 minutes ago, GeorgeGlass said:

What he actually said was, “No nude Texans.”

And here I thought it was “No reflection.”

[Rick_Andrew]

I can pop balloons with my whiskers !   *

 

• Growing up, my son really thought I could—actually my stunt had involved a leetle bitty sharp pencil hidden in my hand.  ** By the way, never blow up an overinflated balloon that close to your face, unless you’ve given thought to the fact you are popping a balloon really, really close to your face and are sure you want to do that.

Edited September 18, 2021 by Rick_Andrew