Letter to my 16 year old self

[KerantliDreamer]

On another forum I'm on there is a thread where you can write to your 16 year old self, and actually participating in that thread has sparked off something in me, so thought I'd add it here for others to try and do... (This has also sparked off an idea for a fic for me..)

So, yeah..

Dear 16 year old me;

Stay in college, even if you switch what you want to do. I know the first month is hard, but if you don't you'll end up getting pregnant at 18, then at 19 with someone who breaks your trust and stuck in a relationship that you can't get out of.

Don't listen to those that are spreading vicious names about you, you will just take them in and then end up on anti-depressants over various stages of your life.

Stick with the singing, and the writing. Through them you earn some great friends later on, and eventually fall for someone.

Don't rush into things with people who worm their way back in from your early teens, it'll just end up in heartache.

And remember, while the pain stops the numbness, you'll only end up scarring yourself for life.

Appreciate your grandma, she won't be around long, and you will miss her daily.

Keep eating, while you may think being a size 8 is appealing, it isn't worth the daily bone cracking and pain when you're older.

Don't start smoking, and stay away from the drink.

Out there is someone who loves you for you. There will be an age gap, but at the end of the day, that age gap means nothing to either of you and you're happy for the first time since you were a child. Don't give up and let people walk over you. You're worth more than that and deep down, you know that.

Love,

Me aged 23.

[Daye]

Dear 16 year old me,

Stop crushing over that one girl. It's not going to happen, even you know its not going to happen right now. so try and move on.

Don't bother with A level chemistry. It doesn't go well. And you did surprisingly well at GCSE History. Don't do geography just for that one fieldtrip.

If you do do geography. Don't end up picking Geology at uni just because your parents think you should. And don't pick Keele to go to just because its closest to home.

Speaking of uni, I have paradoxical things to say about it. Have more 'fun' and do more work. Do more work; take things seriously, don't leave them to the last minute and whatever you do, don't lose your dissertation fieldnotes. Just don't. And the more fun. Well lets put it this way, if you don't go out and talk to people you've got no chance of making friends or getting laid have you?

Now, personally I haven't figured out either of those things myself. But if you start now, when you're me maybe we'll have figured it out?

love,

me aged 23.

[Tigro Spottystripes]

To be honest, my memory is way fuzzier than i would like; i can't really think of anything i would've been in position to make positive changes; for the few bad things i can remember happening in any specific enough detail either i would've not been able to change the outcome or knowing they were about to happen and trying to do anything about it, even if just preparing myself emotionally for them happening, would likely leave me in a worse position today than where i'm now. And regarding most aspects i'm still waiting for things to get better (though many in comparison with how they used to be are better; but even those i don't feel are better enough to confortably describe them as being better without getting into technicalities about minimal changes still being changes etc).

Overall i think the biggest benefit i could get from sending a letter to my past self would be if the letter contained things like lottery numbers, stock tips, and perhaps things like death dates of famous people to bet on; but i'm probably not thinking of many important events that i could indeed have made better for myself and others. People say money doesn't buy happiness; but i'm running short of other ways to get me any closer to having that...

[BronxWench]

Dear 16 year old me:

Write. Really. All else be damned, pound the keys of that old Royal typewriter until they bleed. Other people can define success as they want to, but you have a voice and it should be heard.

And while we're at it, take that old Argus, and the black and white film that Harry gives you, and go take those photographs. Maybe you can't draw a straight line with a ruler, but you do have an eye for composition and form, and those tiny details you see? They work.

Laugh, a lot. They're right. Laughing makes for much better wrinkles than frowning, and more people are willing to laugh with you than are willing to sit around stewing in a pool of angst.

And lastly, you don't have to marry them. Sleep with them, sure. You can even live with them. But dear sweet gods on hairy pogo sticks, try to remember that you are a unique and free-spirited person who does not flourish in captivity. Unless he's willing to treat the ring on your finger as something other than a noose around your neck, RUN AWAY.

Love yourself,

Me, aged 55

[Pooka]

Dear 16 year old me,

I'm not going to say do anything different, because I know you rarely follow advice from anyone, especially yourself, so I'm not even going to try. There's a few important things to learn though:

1) Bad Things happen - the whole world isn't out to get you, no matter how much you may think it. Just relax a bit more through the bad, and you'll make it out reasonably intact at the other end. Afterall, there have been a lot of good changes that have come out of some of those changes.

2) Don't be afraid to be you - I'm not going to tell you what's coming up, but it's all through free choice, and it's always going to be fun.

If you are open to suggestions for things to do, pick up the arts sooner. You read stupid amounts already, so start writing. You listen to music so much already learn about DJing as soon as possible. You've got an eye for artwork, so go grab a camera. Even if you don't start on those now, it's only a matter of time before you'll be doing them.

Anyway, I'm going to wrap this up now - but just one more little note. When they ask if you want to move up north, say yes - there's something wonderfully important up there....

Me, aged 34

[kagome26isawsome]

Dear 16 year old me,

please for the love of god don't start thinking about dating Derrick! In the end it will end badly and you will be left alone and lose two of your best friends. Also work on your grades and start looking at colleges and make sure you figure out what you would like to do! Also find a job and keep it! Don't care if it is at McDonalds or other fast food restaurant. Take your time writing the Christmas story that has been bothering you for a year and start working on the Addams family story or it will haunt you for all your adult years! Also stop drinking the Mountain dew! Don't procrastinate either and for the love of god, don't give up on John because he will end up offing himself when you are in your 20's and you will never get the chance to apologize...

Sincerely,

27 year old me

Edited July 9, 2012 by kagome2526

[Coelacanth]

Dear 16 year old self:

First off, let me tell you that if you challenge me to a game of Halo 2, I'm gonna punch you in the mouth. I know you're better than me at it, geez. How about we go outside and see who can run a mile faster? Oh, you can't run a mile because you're busy practicing for an MLG tourney? Cool story bro. Well, I'll give you a fighting chance. I'll run 4 miles and you run one, and I'll still hand it to you.

Quit eating so much, and quit being reclusive. I know, you think you're so much smarter than everyone else. Truthfully, you're right. I know you tested with an IQ of 148, making you a genius. I know you make a 33 on your ACT by just kind of trying. You know where that gets you? No-f'ing-where. You blow it all away playing video games. That's fine, because I'm going to college to learn how to make them, and guess what? I've held a 4.0 all the way up to my junior year.

Yeah, so shove that in your face, you overconfident, overweight teenager. Now then. Don't date that girl. You know the one. The first one you date. Avoid her like the plague. You can do better, she cheats on you anyway. PS, after that, I don't know when the next time you enter a relationship will be. I still have yet to do so. Sure, she's an easy lay, and you get to lose your virginity, but when have you ever cared about that? Again, you won't do that again for a long time either. I still haven't again, and I'm way hotter than you are. You weigh too much, your hair is way too long, and you still believe in white Jesus. Be serious please.

I know, I know. Your parents just went through a divorce. You're still a really nice guy, and you're talking to both of them as much as you can to try to console them in their time of need. Stop it. It hurts you, it breaks you down and you take a while to recover. It's tough, I realize, but you can't save everyone. When you try to help someone out of a hole they end up stepping on your head to get out and they leave you behind.

Please, use your brain and your ability to learn quickly. It shouldn't take your best friend dying to make you see that you're not living up to your potential. It shouldn't take making underwear for a couple of years at Fruit of the Loom to force you to take charge. You have it in you, just grasp it and go forward.

Wow, that felt pretty good. Almost like I was really talking to a 16 year old me.

[Lilblossomcub]

Dear 16 year old me,

You know it is hard taking care of your ailing Grandfather while also maintaining being a Sophomore in high school and trying to be the best role model as the older sister for your own younger sister. Luckily they understand what is going on and the sacrifices that you make or else it would be more awkward and such if such a life continued on and all. Still tell friends and your teachers that you are having a hard time with school and that by NOT doing your homework it is because your grandfather is bedridden and needs more care since your grandmother is this short 4'7 woman and he's 5'8 so she CAN'T lift him up.

Pray to WHOEVER that he gets better and see's you off from High School and that though he doesn't seem to be getting better from a combination of a bedsore and a cold keep in your mind that he will be alright. Don't listen to what family says or what the the television says, but what hopefully the doctors think will make things better. Not putting him into a nursing home where he stops eating because he is a "borderline diabetic" and not an ACTUAL diabetic and thus they cut off sugar from nearly all of his food.

Stand up for what you believe in knowing you have a crush and take a chance. Sure he could say he wasn't interested or say some rude things for your heavy curvy figure, but at least you could be proud that you were honest and had guts. Yeah others will say differently but unless they are your friends, whose opinion really matters? It's just yours and yours alone so just tune everyone else out. Plan on not being that bookworm girl whose always in the library because of how she looks shouldn't be the only reason why she isn't very social. Looks alone are a barrier yes, but there are other good qualities that people should see besides whats on the OUTSIDE. Make a stand and show that you aren't afraid of what people say, but rather that they are wrong or are acting like a child who never learned any proper manners.

Since you love reading so much, join and or make a book club and make friendships that way. There is nothing wrong with loving to read, in fact you should write your 5th grade teacher an email/snail mail letter about how thankful you are to letting her convince you of a few fantasy books since you didn't know what was good and that is where your love for reading grew; You would probably still be reading much much thinner "chapter books" if it wasn't for her giving you something several hundred pages longer and much more interesting. Be like Forrest Gump "Life is like a box of chocolate" There will be all sorts of twists and turns in life but you will accept every Badge of Honor with pride and keep on living.

Yours truly,

22 year old self

[JayDee]

Dear 16 year old me,

You have to learn to stop with the whole 'starting to tell someone something important, then getting side-tracked' thing. The way to do it is... wait, doorbell.

Tell ya later,

30 year old me.

[Raymy]

Dear 16 year old me,

Don't be easy just so guys will like you, even if your hormones are raging, too. At least, wait until you're, oh, 19? Maybe you'll be smarter, then. When that guy says he doesn't need a condom because you won't get pregnant the first time when you're a virgin, just remember: you dealt with that pretty recently, and going along with it so he won't know turns out to be a huge mistake. Better yet, avoid that guy, and save yourself about 5 years of misery. Read a lot of sex books and get advice from your sisters. Turns out, they know a lot more than you thought, and they don't think of you as "the baby". Most importantly, get in the habit of taking care of yourself first, it'll pay off in the long run. So if you bypass Mr. Wrong, still go to college, and definitely get that cat from the newspaper. You end up considering him the love of your life, at least for a big chunk of it. See ya when you get here.

46 years old me.

[Cuzosu]

Dear 16-year-old me,

Don't wait any longer to get away from your dad's. You've waited too long already. That crap you're putting up with isn't worth it, and your dad's wife is never going to be a better person, however much everyone might wish for it. Put thoughts of Dad away for a time - he'll take several years to start getting better - about five - and in the meantime dealing with him isn't worth the heartache. Eventually you (I, we, self) will come to the realization that he's a sexist a$$hole, and however much it hurts, he's just a dumber-than-usual male screwing things up because he's sexist. You can't teach him to not be sexist, and there's no chance of helping him become a better person. He's only going to start learning once you decide to get out of his life, and it's a long process that involves your grandma coming down on him with this one angel of hers and his "a$$ kicking boots" - yes, I know how that sounds. But that was her dream, and between her and her angel and said angel's boots, they got through to him a little when he was just starting to do better. I'm still not sure he's worth letting back into your life - that's a work in progress, and I'm only a year in now - but if you don't give him a chance, you'll regret it for the rest of your life.

That first guy? Not worth it. He screws up massively, repeatedly, and then tries to get back together with you when you've finally found someone worth your time. The one who's worth your time? You'll meet him through a female friend - he's her brother. And while you may not like his family half the time, he likes yours - and yours likes him. (Don't deny it, you stubborn brat; if the family can't stand him, you won't be able to either.) Just remember, life is a two-way street; you have to give to get. Compromise. Work with him. Hell, get into trucking like your dad and step dad - that's what I intend to do!

Always work on more than one story at a time; that way, when you hit walls - and you will, everyone does - you can switch stories and keep the flow going, and then you won't be stuck for months with no motivation.

Practice your artwork - draw your pets, your family, chibi-fy people. Work with your step grandpa when he needs your help - he's fun to work with and keeps to a pace that suits you, too.

When you start a task, please finish it. You'll kick yourself if you don't.

Find a job that suits you, don't wait. Sitting around is nice, but your family will drive you nuts and inadvertently push you into making bad decisions, so work instead of being home all the time.

Hold the lines you draw; be a "hard-liner".... Sure, it'll make some people hate you, but you know what? The ones who'll stay are the ones worth having around.

Get back in touch with 'trina. You can go for walks and rant to each other, and you don't have to worry about her spreading rumors or turning things against you.

Love. Love with all your heart, love unconditionally, no matter what your family does - but don't let them walk all over you. You've done that most of your life, and you need to stop while you've got the chance. Use your anger, your hurt at your dad; it's got the weight of years behind it, and a lot of heartache and broken promises, and if you take that lesson to heart, you'll be as much of a hard-liner as you need to be, but no more.

Talk to your grandpa more often - yeah, you're both pretty well phone-phobic, but he loves you and he'll just be more and more of a hermit as the years go by, and he might not be around when you have kids.

You don't have to worry overly much about talking to your grandma - she'll figure out that email thing eventually. And you'll do dinners and lunches and such with her every now and then too.

And, of course, don't forget to have fun - if you're spending most of your time depressed or angry, you need to find other people to be around. Like that one guy I mentioned. He's good at making you laugh, and vice versa, so spend time with him in particular. Love him for those little foibles, because while he's got a knack for irritating you, at least he doesn't flat piss you off more than once or twice a year.

Keep your mom and step dad in your thoughts - they're wonderful people, regardless what the twins think, and they're going to go through some rough times, trying to take care of three boys, two of whom ought to be kicked to the curb when they hit 18. (The twins, you see, are only going to get worse with age. Ungrateful brats. They don't realize how much effort their parents put into everything they do for them, and they won't until suddenly that support's not there any more. Better hope they survive the downfall.)

Don't worry - you'll get your dogs eventually. I'm working on it. And your bf wants them too.

Oh! And get your inefficient act together, girl! Your best friend needs you! And she's going through hell these next several years! Use that brain cell you share with her and search her out; you know she's spacy and loses phone numbers and email addresses! She needs you more than she needs her army buddies, and that's saying something. So find a site she's probably on and search her out, send a friend request, and take it from there.

As you (and I, still) know, life is best lived with two goals: to die satisfied with how you've lived, and to have as much fun as possible along the way. So I'll see you when you get here - and I'll rib you some about being late.

Love,

24-year-old me.

[J.Nathan Spears]

Whoa... this topic is a neat Idea =3. I'll give it a try

*AHEM*

Dear 16-year-old me...

Please visit your maternal granny more often. Maybe that way her mood and health will become happier and stronger

Also, remember to never ever forget consuming your Rysperidone at night. I know that it sucks but... maybe that treatment shall not be eternal as you think. You've been consuming it for 3 years now and I see that you're not the same hyperactive fool you were at age 13

Well, I cannot get any more ideas... take care of yourself

Yours truly (mine truly too)

the 22-year-old me

[SillySilenia]

(Anyone else think it's strange to "send a letter to your 16-year-old-self" on a site where your sixteen-year-old-self is not allowed to be? XD If you don't want to deal with heavy themes and a shitload of depression-related shit, skip my post.)

Dear 16-year-old-me,

You're going to fall ill about five dozen times in the upcoming four years, so try not to fall behind on schedule for all kind of things before that. It will only result in one hell of a big mess. As usual. Story of our life.

You're straddling the fence and if you're not careful, you might fall off on the wrong side. Regardless of which side you fall off, you will be hurt - the question is just if you can recover.

And for goodness' sake, try and get some sleep during the first two weeks of upcoming August. Running on respectively 9 and 12 hours of sleep per week is going to harm you. Unless you want to be ill for most of September, and have your constant headache get even worse? No? Didn't think so.

And yes, I know you/I/we have little control over it. Just try.

Try and get your average amount of sleep per night back up above the 2.5 hours, too. One night of five hours of sleep every other day is. not. going. to. be. good. for. you.

Yes, you're going to lose contact to M., the other M. and J. You saw that coming already anyway. In the case of J., the only three things you share in common are your worry over M., being depressive and loving to write. That's hardly good foundation for a friendship when M. falls away and you're going to lack time or energy to write for a bit. A friendship based on the grounds of both being depressive doesn't work.

But you learnt that lesson at least five times already, didn't you?

I know you won't drop them 'cause they need you. You can't keep the heads of five other people above water when you yourself are already almost drowning, though.

Or well, yes, you can. If you want to slowly kill your mind and body. Feel free to. Really. I know it's going to happen anyway. Because after the effort and time you spent trying to help them, you won't be able to turn around and walk away.

Just keep in mind that even though you've saved them, they won't be able to save you. While you keep yourself strong, you will lose the ability to show your weaknesses when you need to (technically, you kind-of already have by now). You may relapse into bad habits, but you'll never ask for help, will you?

Don't break - don't bend - don't bow - don't give up - don't give in - don't show weaknesses - don't show imperfections - always appear strong.

That's what you live by, no? It's also what's very nearly going to kill you mentally if you don't watch out. Yes, it has saved you - but that doesn't mean it can't harm you just as swiftly.

You know what's the problem? You don't live your life for yourself - you live it for others. I know, it has saved you - if there were no people who needed you, you probably would be dead at least three years now, no? Possibly far, far longer. Would you even have reached the double digits, age-wise, otherwise? No idea. In any case, we/I/you have been depressive for well over half of our life, no? Age seven onwards, even if it took ourselves and others a while to acknowledge it.

But think. What's going to happen when for once, you can't help them? When they decide they don't need you anymore and you watch them drown, or almost do so, from a distance? When they go their own ways and you go yours. You are the anchor that kept them safe - or at least alive and somewhat healthy.

But they are also just about the only reason you haven't given up, aren't they?

Is just the argument of not wanting to hurt your parents and your little sister going to be enough to keep you here? I know you/I don't fear death. Not our own, at least. Not that you necessarily wish to be dead - not anymore, at least, even if you have for years, I know - but you have no real wish to live either.

What will you live for when there's no one depending on you? What will you do when there's almost no one left to anchor you to this world? You're walking on the edge of a blade - keep walking this path and you'll harm yourself, or fall off and harm and possibly kill yourself.

There is no easy choice; I know. Even now, I still don't know if I made the right choice - I know I have made a lot of wrong choices, I just don't know if this should be on that list too.

Must feel weird, reading a letter from your nearly-twenty-year old self. After all, neither you nor I ever expected I would make it that long.

[the4w5neko]

Dear 16-year-old me,

Someday you won't be so selfish and self-centered. You will have good friends and a decent social life. There are some painful experiences ahead, but you will survive.

34-year-old me

[pippychick]

Cool idea!

Dear sixteen-year-old me,

Do everything exactly the way you're going to do it, because if you don't, I won't exist.

You're going to lose some really important people who you love. Be brave, and remember that other people make their own choices.

There'll be hideous amounts of soul-destroying pain. Be strong, even when you despair.

Enjoy Damien in every single way you possibly can, over and over again.

In years to come, you won't regret anything. Remember than when you're uncertain.

Love,

Your thirty-seven-year-old self

[Shunskitten]

Oh this should be fun.

Dear 16 year old me,

Effing grow a pair. You won't stop the bullying until you stand up for yourself. With that said, get your ass in gear and work harder on your homework. It's bad enough you're failing your World War 2 class, but if you don't step it up, the only way you're graduating at this point is if they use your overall grade and not your finals. Put the knitting down, put down the notebook you have by your desk, and of all things alive put the damned Game Boy advance down. That Pokemon game will last until you're 21 years old, and by then, you will have a new console.

And when you are done, still move home. That my dear is the only way you will be doing what you love today, any other choice will send your rear to an abusive relationship that you don't need to be in. And with THAT said, do not date your best friends brother unless all you want is heart ache.

Another thing...clip your nails...your arms are not a scratch board. Go back to the doctor and get re-evaluated for everything. You're not as depressed as you believe you are, and you are not mental.

Tread carefully around mom, now she's mental. You are going to fight with her, after all, if it wasn't for the man you married when you were 19, you wouldn't be able to stand up to her, she has to know that she can't ruin your life. Also, be prepared to have a massive fight when you're 22, you're mother will cheat on your step-father and she will try to not only hurt you, but everyone around you to make your life, and theirs, miserable.

Oh, and one more thing dear~ Buy a pair of crutches o~o you are going to need those. Trust me. Those ankles and your right knee will not be the same after your 20.

Your 24 year old self~