Iggy_lovechild Posted August 2, 2006 Report Share Posted August 2, 2006 --All women can come from only vaginal stimulation and many don't even need clitoral stimulation. --It doesn't take much to make a girl wet. --Everyone talks like a porn star when they're in bed and everyone always want it harder and faster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Serenanna Posted August 3, 2006 Report Share Posted August 3, 2006 - One good fic sprouts millions of poorly-written imitators. - Things spontaniously change, even such vital things as age, sexual orientation, gender, reproductive organs, and spieces. (and you don't have to write for Ranma 1/2 to do it!) - Clothing is only ever described if it's coming off. - Fics that break the virgin rules only do so for comedy. - If a woman isn't described as voluptuous, she's otherwise idlely perfect in either slim or athletic tons - Fat people never get laid, except for fat good guys raping a hero or heroine. - Sometimes sex isn't love, it's a battle to see who's on top. - If a young character grows up, their hair grows longer too, especially on men. - All it takes is one good fic to make you a believer in a certain pairing - Psychotic evil pretty boys don't need their heads examines, they just need someone to take their frustrations out on till they turn into jello. (for reference, see Sephiroth, Kuja, Sasuke and Itachi Uchida, Dilandu, various anime bad-boys) - Incest between two brothers is more plausible for some reason than between two siblings of opposite genders - Everyone wants to be a ninja, death god, alchemist, super fighter, mutant, wizard. Being all at once though is instant badfic. - If someone get hurt, sick, or otherwise incompacitated, smut will ensue once they're healed, usually provided by the one doing the healing. - Never pissed off a neko, a kitsune, or a kunochi - Mistaken identities are a good thing sometime. - In the course of an exceedingly long fic, all authors will break from a plot for smut. - Glasses not only equal smart, but sexy! Even on men! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Pink Lace Posted August 3, 2006 Report Share Posted August 3, 2006 It's not rape if a character seizes another character and forces himself on him, it's surprise sex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mike256bit Posted August 3, 2006 Report Share Posted August 3, 2006 In every DP, they dudes are always thrusting complementary to each other. Oh, and if the balls touch, they're gay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alien Pirate Pixagi Posted August 3, 2006 Report Share Posted August 3, 2006 Random characters from Japan will know and sing rndom american songs. Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing) is either constantly getting raped (excuse me? Disgrace!) or portrayed really fucking religious (Uh... dude... wearing a cross does not apriest make). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lightgoddess Posted August 3, 2006 Report Share Posted August 3, 2006 In every DP, they dudes are always thrusting complementary to each other. Oh, and if the balls touch, they're gay. LMAO!!! So, even if they are banging a hot chick and their balls touch that makes them gay??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mike256bit Posted August 3, 2006 Report Share Posted August 3, 2006 Yes. In fact, the hotter the chick, the higher the danger. I made a graph. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazzledfirestar Posted August 3, 2006 Report Share Posted August 3, 2006 That's a very impressive representation! Perhaps it could be applied to other fandoms.... more research may be required though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sailorplutogundam Posted August 4, 2006 Report Share Posted August 4, 2006 law of physics like the law of common sense have ran away with the spoon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alien Pirate Pixagi Posted August 4, 2006 Report Share Posted August 4, 2006 ... Apparently... a guy can fuck another guy up the ass AND blow him at the same time... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mike256bit Posted August 4, 2006 Report Share Posted August 4, 2006 ... Apparently... a guy can fuck another guy up the ass AND blow him at the same time... I want to read that story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lightgoddess Posted August 4, 2006 Report Share Posted August 4, 2006 I want to read that story. Be careful what you wish for Mike. I actually read one recently that involved not only that, but a pink tutu. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iggy_lovechild Posted August 4, 2006 Report Share Posted August 4, 2006 No matter what the character's true personality, if there is a difference in age between two men in a gay relationship, the younger man in always the bottom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alien Pirate Pixagi Posted August 4, 2006 Report Share Posted August 4, 2006 No matter what the character's true personality, if there is a difference in age between two men in a gay relationship, the younger man in always the bottom. That right there is the mark of a true anime fan-brat. In Japan, when a homosexual relationship between two men is portrayed, the older one is always on top. Seniority! In the US, it tends to be ased on general size/"masculinity." Oddly enough, that IS something I learned in fanfiction! And Mike, I believe it was a Jack/Will PotC fic on this site ^_~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mike256bit Posted August 4, 2006 Report Share Posted August 4, 2006 Oh, good, then I'll like it. Except not. Since Jack/Will has nothing over Sparrington. Uh, I learned recently that when people are pounding each other, the majesty is so blind-siding that they can't help but remove random syllables from each other's names. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alien Pirate Pixagi Posted August 4, 2006 Report Share Posted August 4, 2006 I learned how to tell the differance between a virgin and a person who actually has experience in what their writing by reading smut dialogue. Porn-like/Trashy romance novel dialogue = Virgin. Regular/lack of dialogue = Experience. I dunno about you guys, but "Oh yeah, Baby. Oh yeah, fuck me like that! Oh yeah, [character name]!" just isn't that natural sounding during sex. Nor is it very easy to say during GOOD sex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mike256bit Posted August 4, 2006 Report Share Posted August 4, 2006 I prefer it when my partner has lost the ability to speak. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iggy_lovechild Posted August 4, 2006 Report Share Posted August 4, 2006 Hmmm...A few subtly erotic phrases can go a long way, but I generally agree. I must admit I went through my talk-dirty-to-me phase when it came to sex in real life, but after awhile it just seemed silly. Granted, I'm a big fan of dialogue during smut, but nothing like "fuck me harder". That's just distracting. A breathy little "more" or "you feel amazing" does me just fine thanks. I've learned that more fifteen-year-old girls have a fetish for slash fiction than I was ever aware of.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mike256bit Posted August 4, 2006 Report Share Posted August 4, 2006 I've learned that more fifteen-year-old girls have a fetish for slash fiction than I was ever aware of.... It's my impression that all teenaged girls secretly want to be men. Thank you, fanfiction, for teaching me that lesson. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iggy_lovechild Posted August 4, 2006 Report Share Posted August 4, 2006 Bah, cheeky little fanbrats are ruining for all the girls who really do wish they could be men (or at least have a penis).... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alien Pirate Pixagi Posted August 4, 2006 Report Share Posted August 4, 2006 Mmm... she-male... X3 I so wish I was a guy TT__TT It would make so many things so much easier! Like, you know, getting off! And dude... That way I could write my name in the snow! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mike256bit Posted August 4, 2006 Report Share Posted August 4, 2006 Being a guy is alright. I'm sure you have a bunch of reasons why I shouldn't want my own breasts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alien Pirate Pixagi Posted August 4, 2006 Report Share Posted August 4, 2006 Get the boobs, but keep the penis! I am a firm believer in th Boobie/Penis combo! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StoryJunkie Posted August 5, 2006 Report Share Posted August 5, 2006 kind of sounds fast to me... (like fries with that?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sailorplutogundam Posted August 5, 2006 Report Share Posted August 5, 2006 I learn that Superman will always be the bottom to Batman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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