NinjaGaijin Posted May 16, 2006 Report Share Posted May 16, 2006 #152 Any species can be sexually aroused by humans. #153 Pain = pleasure. No exception. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Princess Koriand'r Posted May 17, 2006 Report Share Posted May 17, 2006 154 - Excellent Story + 5 star rating + Thousands of hits = 1 reviews 155 - Angst is a prereq for any sucessful homosexual relationship. 156 - Women find gays hot. 157 - at least 95% [if not more] of all yaoi fanfiction is written by women which proves 156 158 - No matter what the fandom, there will always be at least one ficc where someone is a Vampire. 159 - Virgins must bleed like someone's shot them after having sex. 160 - Japanese characters that are located in JAPAN will almost always have American weddings. 161 - Bad Fangirl Japanese is a must when expressing love within a homosexual relationship. 162 - The worse stories usually have three pages of the author talking to their muse and 1 1/2 pages of actual story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Nympho Posted May 18, 2006 Report Share Posted May 18, 2006 163. Even if the guy is over sixty, he'll be able to get it up multiple times with a hot young lover. 164. Jedi are a bunch of kinky sex fiends behind closed doors. 165. If you can't beat 'em, beat off fantasizing about them. 166. Even a friar working in the Vatican will have no problems doing it with his buddy. 167. Sound never carries, if it doesn't further the plot you can scream as loud as you want and no one will hear it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charging Handles Forward Posted May 23, 2006 Report Share Posted May 23, 2006 168. During sexual intercourse, a woman's cervix can be penetrated easily, readily, and above all, painlessly. 169. The uterus and the entire length of the vagina always lie in perfect alignment on the same geometric axis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SweetMisery1 Posted May 29, 2006 Report Share Posted May 29, 2006 Every man has a hairless chest No one has a problem with dating a protitute STD's don't exist unless they pertain to a story Apparently extremely short people can still reach their lover's mouth during sex Everyone has sex on the first datedesks are perfectly comfortable to have sex on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charging Handles Forward Posted May 29, 2006 Report Share Posted May 29, 2006 With the possible exception of the occasional vomit scene, food goes in and never comes out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest atsuita_no_renkinjutsushi Posted June 5, 2006 Report Share Posted June 5, 2006 _Random numbers_ 1. Nobody, be they male or female, dies in childbirth. 2. People don't get sick unless it leads to angsty death or a 'take care of me then fuck me' scene. 3. In 'take care of me then fuck me' scenes, the sick person is always nubile, energetic and ready for action during sex, and the other person isn't sick a day later. 4. Women don't have periods. Nor, to cover all bases, do men. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Animefan249 Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 this site has tought me how to write better and that there is always somebody more perveted then you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mike256bit Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 Unprotected sex is A-OKAY. EDIT: I didn't read the other posts, but this is the one that I always see. Semen is constantly gushing unhindered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alien Pirate Pixagi Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 -Believe in the magical healing cock! -Money is no object! Spend away (unless it's important to the story line!) -Men get preggers like it's nothing in EVERY. FUCKING. FANDOM! -Women are naturally hairless unless the writer is into unshaven pie. -Even if a character has never before shown evidence of Teh Gay, he will suddenly fall in love with his best male friend. -Rivalry = OMFG! I wanna fuck you so bad! -There will always be someone who gets their account taken over by the Admins. -There will always be some underaged brat yelling at someone else for saying they are underaged. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mike256bit Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 Oh, yeah. People catch the gay. That's a big one, too. Thanks Pix. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alien Pirate Pixagi Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 Ooo! And of course: -All women KNOW when their husband is in love with someone else, especially when that someone else is also a man! -A good half of these women will be OK with that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Devilsharlot Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 These are hilarious! Plot? who needs plot? Smut is the key to reviews! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mike256bit Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 I learned that you can fit three penises into a person's mouth. Really, I had no clue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Serenanna Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 - Absolutely anything can be made sexually suggestive, from bananas to ice cream to random pieces of metal. - No one ever complains about ripped clothes. (I liked those panties damn it!) - Anyone with wings, pointy ears, or fur is automatically a sex god or goddess to be worshipped and adored. - Ears sometimes are more sensitive than gentalia - Long hair never get caught, snarled, tangled, or just plain stuck - Sometimes the build up is better than the actual sex - Anything remotely penile shaped can and will be used for toys. - It is possible to have sex with your clothes on - Tying up can prompt all sorts of confessions from people, as long as it's followed by smut - Even athiests can find religion with the right stimulation (Oh God!) - Hot weather is an excuse for hot sex or shower scenes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lightgoddess Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 If the pregnancy (male or female) is unwanted, you never, ever see an abortion. No one is ever in an abusive relationship unless it's central to the story. There's a potion for everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alien Pirate Pixagi Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 No man who becomes unexpectantly pregnant has anymore then 10 minuted freak-out! Any man who becomes preggers is suddenly weepy and overly touchy (Will you still love me when I'm fat?" If a person becomes preggers, they automatically are deeply in love with the father/mother/what have you of the child even if it was a "just for sex" thing. Nearly all "just for sex" situations end in extreme complications with at least one person wanting more. Two guys living together in a Suburu 360 are OBVIOUSLY gay! Random japanese women are like, z cups. Asian men have HUGE penises. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Pink Lace Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 # 2 - Actually, I make mention of one of my characters using the loo in a story I'm currently working on. But I've only seen it in one of the fanfics I've ever read. I have it on mine (two fics) but I didn't get specific like "she had to pee really bad" because it wouldn't be sexy. - Hermaphrodites exist and they are sexy. - No one ever gets jailed for rape. - Reviewers will say they got turned on by stories that are meant to be humorous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StoryJunkie Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 This is really obscure, but the use of the word "smirk" in your fic can up the amount of reviews you get. Try it. It's really weird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mike256bit Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 I learned that OCs are also all philosophy majors. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bookworm51485 Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 Anal sex never requires any preparation (things along the lines of an enema, or even simple clean up) but also never has any "messy" results. A character can go for days with showering but somehow licking or sucking on a random body part always tastes great. When if a person is being raped, somehow all the bleeding and tearing that occurs is erotic and they always orgasm no matter how much they don't want to. Men can give birth out of their bellybuttons. No matter how absurd as long as the author wants it so it can happen. The bad guys always have 2-inch pencil dicks but the good guys are always quite well off. It doesn't matter if a person rapes you brutally, you can still fall in love with them afterwards if they apologize. The hero of a story can become a badass once they get "serious" after less than a week of hard work or studying. A person can get raped, bleed like a stuck pig and be perfectly fine the next day. Some authors just don't take constructive criticsm well, no matter how nicely it's worded. No matter how horribly a person treats you (if they cheat on you, beat you, steal all your money, etc), it's okay because it's true love and true love conquers all. All OC's are Mary Sues. And so all stories with OCs are to be avoided at all cost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alien Pirate Pixagi Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 Any male character who is gay and the bottom is suddenly a simpering little girl even if they're usually a badass. Any badass female character is a lesbian. No matter what. Any "feminine" male charater is a homosexual, and a bottom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mike256bit Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 Girls with giant tits don't have back pain or boobsweat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alien Pirate Pixagi Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 All girls have absolutly no problem with getting fucked up the ass. Everyone is a total exhibitionist Everyone will try anything at least once. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mike256bit Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 The prude girls are all sado-masochists Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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