Guest lightgoddess Posted July 30, 2006 Report Posted July 30, 2006 I learned that OCs are also all philosophy majors. Ha! Not mine! She was an English major writing a thesis for her Master's on the homosexual undertones of LOTR. LMAO!! Anal sex never hurts and men never come instantaneously when their prostate is hit. It's also not an overwhelming sensation.
Guest Alien Pirate Pixagi Posted July 30, 2006 Report Posted July 30, 2006 Girls ALWAYS come and are ALWAYS easily aroused. Guys will always object at first, but will cooperate after coaxing.
Guest Serenanna Posted July 30, 2006 Report Posted July 30, 2006 - Women get horny for anything remotely, penile shaped, including writhing, ichor covered tentacles. - Intelligence is directly opposite bedroom performance. Dumb-ass things like blathering horny demons, orc hordes, giants, zombies, and woodland creatures are all great lays. - Any character who has their face hidden by masks, glasses, hoods, eyepatches, and what not will be drop dead gorgeous once said artidcles come off. - The geekier, skinnier, or more morbid a guy looks, the better lay he is. - Once kissing commences, clothes are either instantly removed, or described out the wazoo. - No doesn't mean "Hell no!", No means I need persuasion, usually in the form of heavy seduction till it sounds like a yes. - All bad ideas suddenly turn to good ones as soon as one article of clothing is removed. - Leather is sexy as hell, especially tight leather on men. - Vanilla is a great flavor, but so is Wild Cherry and Strawberry. - Everything really does taste better once it's chocolate-covered, absolutely everything.
StoryJunkie Posted July 30, 2006 Report Posted July 30, 2006 I think you guys are having Way too much fun.
Guest Mike256bit Posted July 30, 2006 Report Posted July 30, 2006 Blowing on a dude's ear will render a nine-inch boner.
Guest lightgoddess Posted July 30, 2006 Report Posted July 30, 2006 Blowing on a dude's ear will render a nine-inch boner. Ok, I want to be pointed in that guy's direction because I've never, ever had that happen. ~ Ugly characters always have the body of a god or goddess and that makes them attractive. ~ Huge knockers always means a chick is an easy lay. ~ Unnaturally smart chicks almost never have an unnaturally large rack.
bookworm51485 Posted July 30, 2006 Report Posted July 30, 2006 Whenever the characters have a baby, it's always the most beatiful baby ever and always lucky enough to have escaped it's parents worst features (i.e. Snape's big nose)
Guest Mike256bit Posted July 30, 2006 Report Posted July 30, 2006 I learned that everyone and their mother knows where the clit it.
Guest Alien Pirate Pixagi Posted July 30, 2006 Report Posted July 30, 2006 All gay men have the same taste in men. And for the record, I LIKE Snape's nose!
Guest lightgoddess Posted July 31, 2006 Report Posted July 31, 2006 Wll, pix, we all know what they say about men with big noses. Yes, they have big feet!
Guest Alien Pirate Pixagi Posted July 31, 2006 Report Posted July 31, 2006 I learned that way back when, it was common for a man to be utterly polygamous along with being Prosexual. It's actually one of the things I like about middle eastern women ^__^ I dunno, there's just something sexy about a hooked nose on a woman that gets me goin!
Iggy_lovechild Posted August 1, 2006 Report Posted August 1, 2006 -You don't have to keep characters from going OOC in smut, because everyone will be so busy drolling over the action that they won't notice. -Every female anime character is potentially bisexual (and horny as hell) -Every male anime character is potentially gay (even if he has a girlfriend/wife/chick that he really, really wants to get with....) -Incest is only a sin if the siblings aren't HAWT! -It's perfectly okay to go ass to mouth (sorry. Couldn't resist. I just saw Clerks II )
Guest Mike256bit Posted August 1, 2006 Report Posted August 1, 2006 -It's perfectly okay to go ass to mouth (sorry. Couldn't resist. I just saw Clerks II laugh.gif ) Not only that, the girl/boy will ask to do it.
Iggy_lovechild Posted August 2, 2006 Report Posted August 2, 2006 *giggles* But oh god...I've skimped on some gay sex details in my fics. Only the gross by-product of it though. How does one make shit and lubricant sexy anyway. I'm all for realism in stories but...ah, yeah. That's going too far with me (does it help that I've alluded to a vague bit of cleaning up once or twice?)
Guest Mike256bit Posted August 2, 2006 Report Posted August 2, 2006 That's usually how I handle it. I'll glibly remark on clean-up and that's about all I'll say regarding teh post-butt-sex
Iggy_lovechild Posted August 2, 2006 Report Posted August 2, 2006 ooh! Though of another one! ~All virgins can deep-throat a cock~ Yep, prolly been already said but it drives me nuts! I can barely deep-throat and I am most certainly no virgin.
Guest Mike256bit Posted August 2, 2006 Report Posted August 2, 2006 I'm strangely adept at popsicles. All girls with huge knockers violently orgasm from being tit-fucked.
Guest Evil_Labs Posted August 2, 2006 Report Posted August 2, 2006 I'm strangely adept at popsicles. All girls with huge knockers violently orgasm from being tit-fucked. Why does this remind me of the cow being milked in Family Guy while going "Ooooh, Gooood, oooooh, yeeessss!"?
Iggy_lovechild Posted August 2, 2006 Report Posted August 2, 2006 All girls with huge knockers violently orgasm from being tit-fucked. Yeah wtf's up with that? Hmmm... if one character is a virgin in a sexual encounter, their partner with unfailingly be older and/or a sex god with a wealth of experience. (a sin that even I commit to a small degree....)
Guest sailorplutogundam Posted August 2, 2006 Report Posted August 2, 2006 Cocks can heal but not the vagina
Guest Jackie_Boi Posted August 2, 2006 Report Posted August 2, 2006 Guys can cum as many times as they want and the orgasms following the first are always stronger and more intense (oh God, do i wish that were true).
bookworm51485 Posted August 2, 2006 Report Posted August 2, 2006 Virgins can have sex for the first time and do it like porn stars.
StoryJunkie Posted August 2, 2006 Report Posted August 2, 2006 In the throes of passion, no one ever gets side tracked by squeaky bedsprings, leg cramps or wheezing nasal passages.
englishwitch Posted August 2, 2006 Report Posted August 2, 2006 You can be as sick, as graphic, as dark and as erotic as you want and someone, somewhere, SOMEHOW!!! will find a way to top that. you raise the bar, and watch people sail over it.
dazzledfirestar Posted August 2, 2006 Report Posted August 2, 2006 Okay this is more of a pet peeve than something I learned but here goes... No matter what, if two male characters are in a relationship one of them has to turn into a total whiny pussy (any X-fans may have an idea to whom I am refering... *coughLoganandRemycoughcough*)
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