Thundercloud

I have now posted chapter 2 named The Hidden Danger: The Lake of Three Flames This chapter features the heroes searching for cure for their sister but the search will take them to a magical where dangerous magic lurks Story codes for the chapter 3Plus FF Inc MC MF (and to some degree Violence) Main heroes featuring in the chapter are Larion and Enbon Next chapter scheduled for revision is the third part to of the Hidden Danger story arch and if everything works out it should be released at 2 of November.

All very true...except that the punishment was not as effective as her superior hoped... How about this curse...“You cannot climax until have suffered a splinter inside your cunt”

I think you should keep track of when it reaches 1337 hits...should be worthy of some celebration. For readers looking for a little bit of smut I do think Shannon is a great character. The problems of building a reputation...I think there is great likelihood people would build up some expectations when an author liking your kind of kinks include the word “corrupt” in the title. I did not really mind since the story had quite a few good points but I can see why some readers could have been expecting something quite different. Suppose the demon is into pain and likes the hurt caused by the cross... I actually think you explained it okay...more like cheap in the sense of rather small firework for the end of the story than cheap as in bad writing. Good luck with that.

I have now posted chapter 1 named The Hidden Danger: Searching for Adventure This chapter takes place 33 years after the prologue when some of the heroes are getting anxious about trying to defeat Azbezil and this sets the wheels of fate in motion. Story codes for the chapter MF Violence (and to some degree Ds Inc) Main heroes featuring in the chapter are Fenlyw, Duwlon and Enbon Next chapter scheduled for revision is the second part to of the Hidden Danger story arch and if everything works out it should be released at 26 of October.

The impossibility to know what the reader thinks...unless the write good reviews like yours. My point of view is pretty much that if I enjoy reading a wild range of levels of kinks there are bound to be other that enjoy such too. Having a really good plot twist at the end of the story like The Master Program does cannot be negative. *smiles* Thanks for the advice. That applies to LARPers too...hmmm...american LARPer visiting nordic style LARP and runs into a real Huldra. I agree...actually died on lake Vättern is quite a repeating event. It is a very large lake.

Good that you liked it. Primary I started writing it because I felt that I considering the success of my Master Progam should write more stories without so many kinks. Having a male lead is kind of a refreshing change. Not like it is first story I have written with such…my Azbezil story does for instance both feature male and female lead characters in the later chapters. Actually it does suffers from Martinesque style of changing points of view...so maybe it does not count properly. Goddess...actually you had me kind of surprised here. I suppose you mean the Norse goddess Freya that seems like sometimes in English is called Frida...but for me as a Swede that name would translate into the Swedish name Freja (the Swedish name of the goddess is the same name). The name Frida is medieval name with the meaning “the beutiful” or “the beloved” and does not have any connections to any goddess from what I recall. I know a couple of woman named Frida, but it is not a very common name today. I do have a planned story for a hulder in the Scandinavian Tales series...if this is that story...nope...I need to get used to the english spelling first. The proper name in the scandinavian languages is huldra and each time I see the name hulder I stumble hard. Not like in the movies when they have surprise sex and somehow ends in perfect synch and the woman’s back turned toward the camera so they don’t have pay her extra for frontal nudity. Not that real world sex does not play out like that also but I tried to think how I would react if something happened to me... Yep, he is about to learn the hard way how that will backfire. If you have not done it you can check the wikipedia page of John Bauer https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Bauer_(illustrator) Very fun. Thanks again for the good and useful review. Especially useful when starting a new story.

Author: Thundercloud Title: The Tale about the Laughter of Azbezil Summary: A forgotten prophecy warns of a witch king that will bring death and destruction to the kingdom. Love and romance give the people who understand the danger strength to struggle on, but darkness haunts them. Can they learn the secret of the laughter before demons and monsters overrun the kingdom? Feedback: Long or short, every review counts and increase my publishing speed Fandom: Original Pairing: N/A Warnings: 3Plus Anal Ds FF Inc MC MF Preg Rape Tent Tort Violence (most of story codes apply to individual scenes in upcoming chapters while the more mainstream ones applies to all chapters) Solo story or chaptered story: Chaptered (the plan is to revise the prologue and the Hidden Danger story arc in the upcoming weeks. The story arcs The Time of the Prophecy and the story arc The War of Sorrows will follow later) URL: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600109447 Review Reply thread:

Lol...I suddenly realize that I actually had succeeded into forgotten Scrappy Doo...until you reminded me. Thank you for the answer. I don’t think I have read Corrupt the Midwife. *smiles* Very plausbile.

Well...I most certainly know of the characters after seeing the show a few times but mostly I found the show forgettable. Probably like my subconsciousness worked hard to remove all memories of the sillyness of the dog and that Shaggy character. Speaking about things we have been talking about recently...in what story is Shannon’s mission on earth explained? I think it is a magnitude harder to make use of archaic words than to find them in the dictionary so even while Demongoddess contribution is kind of essential for there to be a prompt in the first place I think you deserve serious credit for the making use of the words. Maybe you could do a bit more original stories with aliens. There should be plenty of room for jokes is such stories...and tentacles. I can so relate with trying to escape Ikea. Had a relative that went there with his grandchild...when the kid suddenly decided she had to hug every soft thing there and it turns out there quite a lot pillows on a Ikea store. He spent literally hours before he got them outside. In my family our kid love the meatballs and my wife start to talk about blood murder if we are at Ikea too long.

Author: Thundercloud Title: Scandinavian Tales: The Deal Summary: Robin believes that he has his future figured out now now when has moved back to his small Swedish home town. Problem is just that he forgotten the tales his grand parents used to tell him about strange things happening around the town. What is about to happen might make him very sexually satisfied, but for every deal there are consequences and Robin is in for an real surprise. Feedback: Long or short, every review counts and increase my publishing speed Fandom: Original Pairing: N/A Warnings: MF Solo story or chaptered story: Chaptered URL: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600109443 Review Reply thread:

The maid idea is actually kind of interesting...could work if I ever got around to the reach the weekend when there is a costume party. A scene when Ronja ignores Maria totally since she works as a maid could give reason for some interesting dynamics. Thanks for the good input. I will give it a thought.

Sexual situations is good of course...but I am also considering having more of a kind of comic relief scene. Ronja as super heroine might be fun.... In about half year or so we will see if I got the scene to work.

I am honored by how quickly you read the chapter. Good that you seem to think that I have delivered good value for the page count. Nice that you liked the dog cosplay. Feel free to come up with more cosplay examples, I really dig the idea of the cosplaying but I does not have very many ideas for costumes in store for the upcoming chapters. Actually I am not too sure myself about her reaction there. Them adding more hypno triggers to make her slutty kind of makes sense...but so does her using the idea of hypno triggers as excuse when she feel the urge to go dirty. The reason for her succeeding at exam... you actually on an earlier chapter commented how harsh the ghost disregard for her studies was. This made me realize I need to be careful about abusing Ronja so much that she totally fail her studies. It is not like the status of her studies matter very much for the important plot of the story...but if she started to fail things that would by nature be a big thing for Ronja. Would be a shame if I must devote pages to her thoughts about that when I can come up with new ways she is dragged into worse sex. I liked writing Maria’s reaction here considering how the chapter ends. You had be laughing a lot at the Casper part. The ghost growing more powerful…I wonder how that could have happened. ;-) Well I can understand where you are coming from since it is kind of Mikalea style, but it is not like she need more material for the blackmailing so I have something different planned. Without revealing to much I can maybe say that the location for the scene was not randomly chosen...I literally started with the block and started to look for possible ghosts connected to the houses there. I actually saw article some while ago that discussed a survey when they found that quite many women does not react very much on the visuals of a cock even if they are like her how the cock is used during intercourse. On the reverse quite a few straight males needed the visuals of cock to imagine it was them fucking the girl when they were looking at porn. Kind of counter intuitive...but it does give an interesting possible explanation about different attitudes to porn between the sexes.

Author: Thundercloud Title: With the Mirror Came... Summary: What if you are not in full control of your life anymore? What if accidents of sexual nature keep happening to you no matter how careful you are? What if someone or something out there imagine you as their center of the sexual fantasy. Ronja is about to find out because she got something with home that she did not expect. Feedback: Long or short, every review counts and increase my publishing speed Fandom: Original Pairing: N/A Warnings: Anal BDSM Beast FF Fist Inc MC MF Bi Oral Toys Rape Rim 3Plus Solo story or chaptered story: Chaptered URL: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600109197 Review Reply thread:

The Cabal Mages

I think a fairly common solution to this problem is to come with a setting specific title for this kind of group. Typically formed by using a weird spelling of some magic related word.

We have to settle for the good entertainment value of your writing then...the nasty thing about writing is that we are never better than your latest round of mistakes. It is not like the crowd of people that will scroll back years of posted stories of AFF to see if there was a hidden gem there. On the upside the value of what you write does not get less because for instance @InBrightestDay wrote something even more awesome using your material as basis. Then suddenly you review somebody that return the favor and become a fan and start to dig through your backlog of stories to find what is so-so, good or simply awesome. About your pile of cliches...you are also remarkable good at making use of those cliches within the flashfic format. As a writer of somewhat long pieces I would argue that the reason I write so long chapters is that it takes lots of text to cover the ground if you are nor making good use of cliches. If you go for flashfic then you need make lots of use of those cliches to get it to work. A typical case how you need to learn to stop worring and love the cliche...

I just got this imagine in my head of Shannon talking about this great sex she just had and then complaining about it all ending with her looking at socks with sandals. Of course I can look forward to it even if it does not happen...if it happen or not of course depends if the muses align properly for you. Makes sense, but I also think there might be reasons the creator sent her on this mission that she does not know herself...and you have not decided yet. Sounds like a story concept that is promising, but you will need more stuff for it to be a working story.

Glad to hear that you enjoyed the chapter. Hearing your positive words about the chapter is a great pay off for the effort to work on the story. I had most of the story planned out before I started to work on it, but the episodes at Franks place was the thing I added to when I switched from 4 to 5 planned chapters. IMO it worked great to flesh out what kind of character Lydia are and the writing process was very fluent when I got the idea for how Lydia would prevail in the end. Seemed fair to have a scene to prove how badass she is even without her normal advantage. :-) There is some world building in this part of the story. When I am done I need to look into reusing the setting for future stories. She definitely got issues about older people….in the first chapter she ran in trouble with the demon for hesitating about a 35 year old person. Good to remind the reader about this if it ever should matter to what happens in chapter 5. Thank you. I am quite proud of how this scene turned out with making use of Lydia’s abilities but not making it too over the top. By the way the scene as they try to come up with how to stage the attack quite literally match my work as I tried to decide where this part of the prophecy should come true. The blueprint of the story only included the actual outcome so I rejected quite many ideas for location before I found the one I used. I hope I will not have you waiting too long.

I was a great relief to post it...self editing is a drag. Must have taken me an extra half year to get it done. The plus side is that there are plenty more on queue to get finished now. I was more coming from the show, don’t tell angle. Getting some details about how she actually dress at that scene when Shannon is thinking about how Lupa dress. I sound like a great story idea that will work really well when your dry spell is over. I think your successful use of the prompts is very entertaining. From my point of view NoSex is not really a problem if the story is good enough...except those cases when you in NoSex story happen to get the perfect setup for sexscene. I am so looking forward to the upcoming PWP... I think the idea of her not understanding is fine and you wrote it well. The thing that made me pause was more that I have not really thought about how old her cover persona is. I had kind of assumed Kizzy had been undercover for a while but this chapter suddenly made me realize her “mission” is new if she ever has gotten on a murder scene. I might have missed it but if there ever was an explanation about why Kizzy is down in the mortal world at this particular time I have not seen it.

Chapter 4 out of the planned 5 chapters has been posted.

Author: Thundercloud Title: Carmen Elisa Needs to Die Summary: Quests often happen for a heroic reason, like a danger that must be defeated. This is not such a story. Carmen Elisa needs to die....she just does not know it yet. There is a demon inside the sword and until I find Carmen I will make full use of the power granted to me as I make my every desire come true. Feedback: Long or short, every review counts and increase my publishing speed Fandom: Original Pairing: N/A Warnings: Bi Fingering MF Violence TF FD Toys Anal MiCD Bond Preg Rape COMPLETE Solo story or chaptered story: Chaptered URL: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600109195 Review Reply thread:

Thank you for upvote of the story being worthy of having a beta.

I am in need of a beta reader for my story Carmen Elisa Need to Die in the originals section (http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600109195). Story Codes: Bi Fingering MF Violence TF FD Toys Anal MiCD Bond Three chapters is posted so far out five planned, average chapter length is 12k words. I have chapter 4 on my harddrive...but self editing is a drag. I much rather trade beta service with somebody else. Anyone that can be of assistance?

Yep, we are moving towards the end game now where the big bad is actually to make his/her first appearance in the story. In real life body circulate poison in the blood steam very quickly. The reason it goes slower here is basically that the demon is spending lots of energy on making sure the poison stays contained until they have figured something out. Could perhaps be cool to mention that in some way, will need to give it a thought. It has mentioned earlier in the story that the demons are immune to psionics (or rather their defensive levels are so high that even Avalanche is out of luck)...kind of a large limitation to how much use Avalanche can be. That is pretty much why Cyclone never bothered to recruit a Psionic to his team and why his team is so helpless in this encounter. Btw...if we are speaking about overpowered characters I think it is very possible to issue a complaint towards Fang... Like mentioned in my previous review response it is a neglect from my side that I don’t mention Linda having fixed Firefly. Yep...that hole in the suit will surely raise some eyebrows. Thank you for writing these wonderful reviews with so many good comments. I have toyed with reusing the werewolf mythology in some future story but never really found a suiting catch to tie it all together. So many story ideas and so little time.