Strange_idea

So, had two ideas. I think you have a good amount of field minions as it is, so what if the pink minions were tower servants made by zarina. It gives her a bit more character too and it'd be fun to have allies inside the castle during the takeover. Also, had an idea for airel. What if it's hinted at early on but not said until her first chapeter that ursula has an outside contact that she meets in a cave in the towers basement, ariel. She meetas with the young mermaid and feeds her crush on hiccup in exchangenfor favours, fetching ingreedients or other tasks. 'Mermaid kisses' could be a potion ingrwdient or something to revive the drowned and they wonder were ursula gets them. Meanwhile ariel has been getting news or bits of trivia abouy hiccip in exchange, ursulas doing this on purpose to build up her crush and make her useful but its up to you whethed she's actually training a suitor (one loyal to hiccup and to herself). It started when they were just kids and she was too shy (and a mermaid) to approach him and ursulas been makinhlg sure it stays that way ever since. She sought out a legndary witch or fortune teller to understand her feelings and ask if she has a chance, and ursula made sure to feed her a romantic narrative to keep her hooked and has been hanging the legs thing over her head for years. So naturally, when in trouble grom the empite, she goes straight to her 'prince' to save them. Of course, ursula's been omitting toothless, astrid and the other misresses or has convinces ariel it's normal and she'd be lucky to be a part of it. Ariel also helps him out annonymously from time to time when near the ocean or spies on hiccups enemies for ursula, letting her fill him in.

that army system sounds good. hmm, regular minions could be workers, the queens decide loyalties. i like gag, and if we repeat it they could satart running into the actual mistresses when they try, who aren’t amused I’m going to keep at the toothless/hiccup thing, i believe their relationship should have more depth and nuance and i feel that by not resolving it in the first game, but keeping it prominent we hook the reader better. plus it helps set up a few conflicts and more resolutions later. plus i got this imagin in my head of a king hiccup with his dragon-queen curled around the back of his throne. or some kind of large bed-basket were fullgrown toothless can hold her dragon horde of hiccup and girls. actually, had a thought from that, what if toothless approves of hiccup’s accidental girl-hunting seeing it as collecting a dragon’s horde, and as king of kings he collects kingdoms, but she doesn’t loose site of the bond aspect and still places a lot of value on her relation with him. (plus she likes most of the girls) she could have trouble with sharing him at first, but that could be how she resolves it. she has a bit of an edge as one of the most valued peices of the treasure though, which probably helps. night

sorry about the dragon idea, i like to have long-term character goals. i think there’s a good outline at least there, but if you don’t like it you can go with something else, or i can work on it a bit more. It’s getting late, i ‘ll have to drop out soon.

hmmm….. i was going to ask something that actually works well with that. I agree, and i think that hiccup should have only ONE of each mutant minion, for better tactical sake and beacuse it’s easier to remember them. think of them as early-stage queen minions, you can say later that they are gestating eggs, but at least at first you should probably stick to just one of each. also, it might be an idea to describe them as insect-like to further it. you said the minions wouldn’t be sxualised, just a colony, so what if they were insect or bee-like chitinous creatures? with the extra features on top

hiccup still probably plans a double cross, but the shock changes his mind to completely take them apart and make something better

what do you think of the ‘get her out of the way for it by injuring her’ plan? and the human/dragon irony thing

if toothless was as big a deal to him as you say, and i agree she should be. do you think he’d even THINK of working with dragon hunters? with her there to remind him? and probably them commenting on her? i have an idea, but things first... there’s a longstanding tradition of dragons secretly taking human form, just not in the part of the world this is set…. except the lyndwyrm but that doesn’t count. i largely think that as ‘animal people’ the dragons would be more likely to have their own tongue, particularly since they don’t have the co-operation and trade history with humans that elves and dwarves do. given mirage we have room for a tradition of him failing to recognise transformed people which could be funny, and dramtic at the right places, so i don’t think he should know, but i DO think his group should know, though mirage canno tell him at first, then it slips her mind, and the sorceresses are enjoying toothlesses suffering. plus, it’s good to not resolve some conflicts right away. I don’t usually like suffering, but this is a nice romantic ironic tragedy. Thought of a way we can have toothless and no toothless at the same time. Toothless gives him his first night, confesses she loves him, tells him she has to go as well then secretly turns into a dragon to accompany him as a mighty protector (and because he always wanted to see it again), though fearing what he would think she makes sure he cannot see. he’s overjoyed to see the beast and to find it’s friendly, and ironically names it after his best friend and first love, toothless (she’s overjoyed) however, toothless is injured during the adventure at a point before he meets the dragon traders, and dropped off at the tower to recover (this also raises drama, and for irony points, mirage is rescued in this time). afterwards (without toothless’s influence and out of fear of more happening to her, hiccup makes the deal with the dragon traders), before he can tell her, she’s driven of by the overlord, which means she doesn’t find out until later when they meet again. then she tells Astrid she’ his girlfriend, then she finds out about the dragon traders, drama, hiccup makes up with Astrid who helps him make up with toothless, and after THAT adventure’s done they all set out to dismantle and rebuilt the dragon hunters as the dragon keepers. can mirage change back to a cat at will? it’ be useful and i think it’s in character for her o make hiccup carry her, draped around his shoulders like a scarf while snarking at him

I honestly expected it to take more looking over

okay, checked it over and not too much happens, the first overlord is chosen, he sets elves and dwarves against each other, tricked his siblings and enslaved them, the jester is set up, gnarl is brought in. however all the characters are either long dead or ones we’ve adapted out (can i say we? not too much?). So, what if we take the opportunity to have a parallel story bit. while hiccup has his dragon adventure, every now and again, we flash to the first overlord back in the past learning bitter lessons and turning into the heartless evil guy overlords are meant to be, while hiccup contemplates recent developments that do the opposite to him. there’d need to be some changes of course to fit stuff like the sourceresses, and since we have no jester, an offhand mention of his hat being damaged beyond repair would be a nice nod to that. also, had an idea for toothless-girl. what if hiccup thought she was a wild girl, as in a raised by wolves wild girl who’d have no name, but was still his best friend. he hoped he could find that black fragon again one day and show her, even. he could think this even if she did have clothes and armour, reasoning she stole it or got it from her dead family before being raised by wolves. or he could just think she was a local village outcast, and she didn’t want to talk about it. occasionally he’d offer to go to her village and tell them how great she was, but she turned him down, not telling him the truth. can she speak? by the end i imagine she could, but do dragons speak human? it’s be cute to see her learn. maybe she just starts as the wild girl, and hiccup wins her over by scolding her for trapping dragons….

I can check it for usuable stuff if you want, but i think the story is stronger for stepping away from overlord for a little bit. makes the world seem a bit more complex and lets us explore it beyond one part of the crossover

ummm. yes. sorry thing is, i was mostly uing it as a placeholder since by inverting the plotline there’s a similarity to the dragon viking conflict. that one i didn;t mean to follow very closely

well, he IS visiting a corrupted forest. imagine making his way through the level and suddenly crashing through to a well-lit non evil part that the fairies are fighting back in. to be honest i thought he would pick up the tinker fairy a bit earlier (possibly at a slave market), and she would recognise the place as near her home, begging him to check up on it and try to save it.

I like the Astrid idea, and if she does run into him like i suggested she could mention that she’s getting brave and strong to take back her prince from the dragons (what her parents told her happened) or something. when she finds out who toothless is it would be fun. I like the idea of toothless being his first time, but i also feel the absence route is good. how about compromise! what if toothless used to keep an eye on hiccup gorwing up, but as the ‘mystery girl’ and got called away befpre the overlord events started? so the day before, he and toothless have his first time. he then thinks of ‘mystery girl’ several times during his trip, and hopes she doesn’t mind him accidentally picking up mistresses (who are seducing him partly because the sorceresses are training them to). he’d need a reason not to have her name, or he could jokingly call her toothless because she fights with him a lot and bites, but doesn’t do any damage. they know it’s play-fighting. he could wish he got her real name over the course of the adventure, and look forward to coming home to her. part of the reason she’s gone is she missed him leaving, couldn;t find him and was driven away by the old overlord. that said, i can probably think of a good plotline with her there, but well, we have mirage. at this point not recognising transformed people is omething of a running gag. he could claim a frog’s tiana and no one would beleive it because it’s him saying it

better growth, better drama, and slowly seeding in bits of the world. unless you want him to keep toothless the whole time. If he doesn’t, they could keep almost running into each other.

that way hiccup does what he thinks is bad but necessary and later realises it was worse than he thought and he has to do better…. maybe toothless flys away and comes back to thank him, but he doesn’t recognise her as a human since he didn’t see the change.

wait, in this plan does hiccup keep toothless all these years, or come back to find her after the hades thing? If it’s okay, I’d reccomend the latter, since it lets the infatuation grow and really hits home what he’d done. plus, it let’s toothless have an angry phase similar to the movies so he can win her bacl. my suugestion isthat she reveals her abilities when they need to sneak into berk, since the vikings don’t know. this causes a bit of a fallout and sh doesn’t change back until he make it up to her and proves that he’s doing better/is becoming the hero she thought he was all that time ago/really does care. long lost lovers type deal. he could often idly wonder how the dragon’s doing, and use it in his flag as mamory of ‘him’. we could also have him meet and make an impression on astrid, who was dared to go to the spooky tower and gets him curious about the world. she thought he was a ghost.

Dropping out now.

This could work. Had a though. Since I'm recommending he does psuedo dark tales instead of being trapped for years in the abyss, what if they die while he's busy saving the gods or the vikings? It could be a bit of a rift between him and meg, until he admits it's not her fault. Also, character thing. How do you think he'd react to tootheas reveaing herself after he did buisness with the hunters? It'd be great for a mini arc betwen them and growth, and instead of the abyss timeskip, we could do a story between the games of him dismantling and rebuilding the hunters as a protection society. The readers would be taken by surprise at least. Probably be healthier too, and we could sneak in early encounters witb disney girls

Gitta drop out for a bit. See you soonish

YES! I was hoping you’d say that. good to set up some relationships early so he can have them crushing on him later, so to speak. I meant that tootless should join his party early on, but that is excellent. though i still think she should join his party early on.

Should have asked, just the empire thibg or the joke too

Thw somepne could be sabotaging communications and carrying out false flag attacks.

Well, someone.... not saying which empire..... could wake UP the red death, maybe be the ones to lock it in the cave. You know what be cool? He goes through dark tales WITHOUT THE MINONS, since he's on overlord sabbatical. He goes through the territories as just hiccup, and mabe mirage and the fairy with him. That way he coupd impress the vikings by himself. Though maybe he runs into toothless pretty early on without knowing she can change (mirage knows and is just rolling her eyes at it)

While i understand the logic, you can't have the empire be the attack every disney land. That book would drad on for ages, you want to spread em around a bit. You could hint at yhe empire as a bigger bad though, hint they're behind the dragon/viking war. Story's better if you don't know where it goes. Mix it ups, move thibgs around a bit. So... bear with me. But the joke's a bit of a long one and a bit contrary to overlord's evil theme. But ties into character growth. First off, lets say hiccup isn't sealed away forever, meg makes it through first and he THINKS she betrayed him (it was an accident), but she takes on and defeats hades, accidentally gets his powers, so she opens the portal tight back up. Instead of spending the years locked in the abyss, hiccup is so shaken by someone he can trusy he decides to take a sabbatical and clear his head, which leads to him finding his old home and reverse dark legwnds happens, etc. So, here's the joke: As he goes on, hiccup says more and more people and moves further and further from his evil training. People keep calling him a hero, and as you say, he brushes it off and disagrees, viting that someone that noble doesn't exist. As the story goes on however, people go from bring shaken by his aligning with the sorceresses, so confused at his response, to "riiiiight", to aking him what's the difference between him and a hero like they describe. And hiccup jas grown so much he cannot find an answer. It's a bit of a fun running gag, and pokes gun at their naivete at first but it also acts as a measure of character growth

First game arc? I'd also suggest pixie hollow be slipped into the first game, with the refugees being given refuge in the tower, where maleficent is waiting to meet them. The fairies could sneak hiccul in when th overlord takes over. I had an idea of a running gag I wanted to run by you