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Everything posted by Ghost-of-a-Chance

  1. My smartass husband almost doomed us all. He’s eating animal crackers and found a cookie that appeared to be two different critters stuck together. What’s he suggest? ”Hey. Think we can fix this chimera with alchemy?” 


    No, Cold. HAYELL no. We are not breaking the alchemical taboo in twenty-twenty-anything, this is not the decade to risk it! There are two whole anime series about just why we don’t mess around with that! 


    1. BronxWench


      *shoves alembic into the closet hastily*

    2. InvidiaRed


      A dozen lashes with a wet noddle!

    3. Desiderius Price

      Desiderius Price

      Go ahead, do it, we could use the distraction :devil:

  2. We ordered Chinese tonight, and got a broken fortune cookie. My husband’s response? “Now that’s a misfortune right there.”

    :rofl: I’m choking on my chicken, people. 

  3. That’s still accomplishing nothing. Is there any way someone could send a link for me to reset my password, because I’m not getting the emails when I try that. They aren’t in junk or spam, either. I’ve tried signing in, resetting, clearing, and everything else I know how to do dozens of times on three different devices now and I’m still locked out and unable to fix it. I’m starting to panic here.
  4. I tried clearing my cache/cookies/website data on my iPad, and nothing changed. My password has a non-alphanumerical character, which according to other posts here, may be causing problems. Either way, how do I log out if I can’t log in??? The only option I see on the page is “log in,” and it won’t show any of the shortcuts you see when you’re logged in.
  5. I need to get into my account to correct an unexplained ‘problem’ on my profile that could result in doxxing/outing me to my homophobic family. My password isn’t working, the password reset isn’t working, I’m not getting emails for the reset – even in junk/spam – and I haven’t heard back from tech support. I’ve tried all of this – aside from contacting support – on three different browsers and devices, so it’s not a problem with my browser or computer. This is the screen I get after using the “password reset” link at the left, but that’s as far as it goes. The longer this goes unfixed, the higher the odds that someone I’m related to will find my profile, connect the problem to me, and out me to my homophobic parents as the bisexual delinquent that they can’t know I am. Please, help me fix this!
  6. I’ve got another zinger from hubs to share! A few minutes ago, I was chatting with Cold about my plants in the window and I said, “I mean, those two need repotting already. They must really like this southern exposure!”
    This guy. This absolute smartass. He looked at me with a completely innocent face and said, “yeah, but I don’t know how they can stand the accent.”
    :rofl: …y’all. Cold has a southern accent.
    Yes, I choked on my spit. That mouth of his makes me so stinking proud sometimes. 
    1. BronxWench


      Your husband is utterly brilliant. Seriously demented, and utterly brilliant. :lol: 

    2. Ghost-of-a-Chance


      I feel the same, always. :D I’d never tell him, but I wish I were as skilled with on-the-fly wordplay as he is. I get to brag about him online, though, so I’m not disappointed. :wub:

    3. kagome26isawsome


      that is too funny! made my night

  7. My husband today: “The United States is officially a landfill.”

    Completely unprompted. I only wish I knew what was going through his head some days. :think:

    1. Desiderius Price

      Desiderius Price

      I can definitely see arguments that’d support the statement.

  8. I wanted to share a real zinger for anyone who needs a laugh today. For this to make sense, you need to know three things: 1, I'm bi with a very supportive straight husband; 2, I'm in the closet IRL because of homophobic loved ones, and 3, I'm "out" online under my pen name. Oh, and 4, my husband Cold is an adorable smartass.

    I spent some time today working in our big hall closet, up on a stepladder. When I heard Cold come through the front door, I warned him to be careful coming through the hallway because "I'm kinda in the closet."
       "Kinda?" he retorted. "You're entirely in the closet." 
       I could hear the unspoken bi joke like a cat hearing a can opener. "I'm only in the closet IRL," I reminded him, "online, everyone and their gay stepdog knows I'm bi." 
        Cold poked his head around the door. "Either you're in the closet or you're out of the closet," he teased me. "You can't be both. You're not Schrodinger's bi."

     And that's how I realized it is entirely possible to laugh yourself right off a ladder, and that, despite getting older, Cold IS still able to catch me before I can fall on my oversized rump. I'm still grinning about this, and it's been over an hour!

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. WillowDarkling


      That guy is definitely a keeper! :rofl: Schrodinger’s bi, indeed.

    3. BronxWench
    4. Ghost-of-a-Chance


      Knock yourself out, @InvidiaRed! I told him I’m stealing it, too, so he’s been warned. @WillowDarkling and @BronxWench he is a hoot, let me tell you that! I’ve gotten some real tongue-choking jokes from him in our eleven years but Schrodinger’s bi may just top them.

      Earlier this week, I complained about finding inch-worms destroying my plants. His response? Paraphrased, “I hate inchworms. They need to learn some assertiveness instead of always inching around like they’re expecting to get stepped on.” I. Just. About. Died.

  9. Well. It took close to a year and a half but we finally know why I’ve been having nerve pain and numbness and struggling to stand and walk. The ‘why’ is not an easily fixed condition (...possibly not “fixable” at all, from the sound of it...) but having an explanation for the problem is the first step on the path forward. I can’t even express how relieved I am to have physical proof that what I’ve been struggling with wasn’t just in my head; the fact that such was bothering me as strongly as it was should say something about how folks with invisible disabilities are often treated in the US. 

    I’m still stuck with walking with a cane for now. There are also orthotics, braces, medication, and routine specialist visits added to the equation now. I’m not crazy about that...but I’ll live. At least it’s not neuropathy and there’s a chance of some improvement with treatment, and so long as those two statements are true, I’m sure I can find a way to not whine too much. It’s a bonus that the medication I’m on now is helping with my bad knee (why I had the cane, to begin with) and I’ve got a very courteous and understanding doctor taking care of me. Maybe now that the testing and waiting are over, I’ll have a little more free time. If so, maybe I’ll be more able to use said free time for writing and updating. In the meantime, it’s good to be back on here even if only occasionally.

    Anyway. Dropping off the face of the earth without warning is kind of normal for me but...well...this is why I’ve been exceeding my usual DOtFotE statistics. In the coming months, if I get unusually bristly on here, say something unfriendly, or come across as short or rude, I apologize profusely in advance. I’m hanging in here the best I can...but...frankly, my nerves are compressed and sending pain and itching signals through otherwise healthy tissue, and there’s not a whole lot I can do when it gets really bad. There are days when it’s so bad I just want to cuss a blessed blue streak, cry, or both at once. Generally, I try to stay offline on days like that but they’ve snuck up on me before. If it happens, please be patient with me and let me know I’ve been a dick (because I probably won’t even realize it until later on when I’m trying to sleep) and I’ll apologize for it.

    Until next time, I hope everyone’s having a comfortable and safe spring, and wish y’all the best.


    1. Thundercloud


      Very important to know when things are real and not something we imagine. Sorry to hear they don’t have easy way to fix the issue, but medical science advance so who knows what might happen in the future. I hope things will improve for you even in the absence of a cure.

    2. BronxWench


      I’m very glad you have an answer now, and I’m hoping that treatment does continue to make a positive difference. I don’t think there’s anything worse than having to live with constant pain. So, gentle hugs from me! :hug: 

    3. JayDee


      Wish you all the best too. At least diagnosis gives you better options.

  10. c9bf5b8880f27365f0ffccb8933bb05ea7638a92

    Porg-give me if this is out of line, but I wanted to show off the little buddy my hubby got me for Christmas last year. Folks, if you’re looking for love, find you someone who respects your nerdities and odditudes.

    Y’all can keep y’all’s his and hers towels; in this home we have Pikachu and Porgs.

    1. InBrightestDay



      Y’all can keep y’all’s his and hers towels; in this home we have Pikachu and Porgs.

      You got very Southern there for a moment. :D

      That is a really sweet gift!  I hope some day I can be married to someone like that!

    2. Ghost-of-a-Chance



      You got very Southern there for a moment. :D

      In my defense, I was born and raised in Missouri maybe an hour from the M’Arkansas border, and I still live in the same region. Missouri is Southern enough for the awkward stuff like accent but too far north for the sweet tea to taste good. :lol:


      That is a really sweet gift!  I hope some day I can be married to someone like that!

      It really was just the sweetest thing, really. I grew up in a family where fannish behavior was supposed to be kept secret and treated as an embarrassment. When Cold started bringing his Playstation and anime over for dates I knew I hit gold. Honey, if you can, try to find you a man (or woman, or both, or neither, or ancient eldritch entity, etc) who respects your inner nerd and lets theirs out around you. I hope you can find someone who appreciates you for who you are, too. It’s worth everything in the world when you can be dorks together. :tup:

      By the way? We’ve been together 11 years this April, he regularly lets me pull the “rubber ducky” maneuver on him when I’m stumped on a scene, and I’ve taken up gaming with him on occasion. He’s my favorite dork and I’m his favorite nerd, and it’s just what we both needed. :D 

  11. It's Thanksgiving. My mother-in-law invited herself over for dinner and will be here around five. I barely managed to get the place clean. My husband is cranky, I've got cooking left to do, and Woozle just tried to pee on his sister. least the apartment smells like orange cupcakes.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Ghost-of-a-Chance


      Well, there go my after-dinner plans. I'd rather not get shanked. :fear:

    3. BronxWench


      *dies laughing* I was referring mainly to family. I have certain relatives, mostly on my husband’s side, that I’d rather drop-kick from a great height than entertain. You, on the other hand, are welcome! :lol: 

    4. JayDee



      ...I’ll get me coat.

  12. My process varies depending on what exactly I’m writing. For some of my original fiction, I tend to use a blend of “words from nature,” “elaborated words from nature,” and “take parts of actual words or names, mash them together with other syllables from other words and names, and boom, insta-name.” It’s gotten some pretty interesting results like Anabreth, Kessenjer, and Benekeed. It fits for a fantasy-setting culture in another world but it would not fit for most stories. Fanfiction and other fiction? That process is more...complicated. Sometimes with some characters, a name for them literally just pops up as I’m building the character and sticks. Other times I scour baby name directories, popular media, and websites, and choose what works best for the time. Usually I follow a precedent my family (unintentionally?) set: “Every girl needs an adult name and an old lady name, and one of those names needs to be adaptable into a cute nickname for when they’re kids.” Some fandoms (or families) also have trends for naming – characters in a lot of anime have names based in nature, especially food, and sometimes families follow naming customs passed down. Heck, I know of a person who has several kids, all of whom have an X or Y somewhere in their name. (Yes, he’s white.) Overall, I think, if you’re worried your OC name will sound Sue-ish or too unusual, there’s an easy way to figure it out. Imagine you just met a new friend and you’re introducing them to someone. Could be your parents, your Nana, or even just that fusty granny who lives next door and always gets up in your business. Imagine yourself saying the character’s name to this person. Did they cringe? Did their eyebrows disappear into their hair? Did they snort under their breath, imitate a codfish, or otherwise react impolitely? If so, the name’s probably going to stand out and maybe too much. Sometimes having an outlandish name can be a good thing – ie, recurring jokes or character reactions to their names – and likewise for excessively bland names. Whatever you choose, just be sure you make it work.
  13. There’s only so much an automated spelling and grammar checker can accomplish; sometimes their ones and zeroes get crossed and they suggest incorrect corrections. If you know already that your work is correct in that instance, it’s easy enough to just delete the flag and move on, but what about when you’re not sure? What about when you actually start questioning whether the checker’s suggestion, wrong as it sounds, might be right? I give you the “am I wrong or is my grammar checker an idiot?” thread. Here you can post your spelling and grammar questions and – I hope! – get answers. For clarity’s sake, try to follow this form: The sentence: Write out your sentence in its entirety. The problem: Describe what part of that sentence has caught your checker’s attention, the proposed correction, why you think the checker might be wrong, and if possible, why it might be right. Good luck, and I hope this thread becomes a valuable resource for those of us about to go round an’ round with our grammar checkers!
  14. divider___books_by_ghost_of_a_chance_13_

    Writing Advice from my former professors

    largely paraphrased

    • If a point can be delivered with a pinprick, avoid substituting a sledgehammer unless the situation really calls for a sledgehammer. In that case, illustrate the fallout from said sledgehammer.
    • There are good writers, and there are popular writers; rarely are the two the same, but overtime, they may become viewed as the same. CoughcoughSHAKESPEAREcough.
    • If your narration has to include “somehow,” you’ve probably got a plothole. Get a shovel and fill the damned thing.
    • Books aren’t gardens – take it easy on the flowery prose or your readers may start sneezing.
    • Hook them in the first sentence or you’ll have to fight to reel them in; land them in the first paragraph, or all you’ll have is a fish story.
    • Know your audience and choose your vocabulary accordingly; learned middle age Brits may know what it means to dandle a baby but teenagers will assume you’re a sex offender.
    • Dickinson never said anyways. Austen never used the word orbs. Orwell didn’t write bugged eyes. If you’re going to emulate someone, pick someone who knows what they’re doing, not a teenager who just discovered twilight and writes in emojis.
    • Mark Twain. You either love him or you hate him, and if you love him, chances are, you also kinda hate him a little bit.
    • Avoid the monologue – your characters need to breathe! They need to process things! They aren’t standing alone on a stage bitching at a bleached human skull, let them be interrupted!
    • Adverbs. Know when they contribute to the story, and slaughter them when they don’t. It’s okay to gate-keep parts of speech.
    • Sheep is already plural, you bloat-brained mindless self-important turnips. Pluralizing plural words will earn you a failing grade and a sound brain-dusting.
    • Keep a hard copy of common references handy while writing, especially a decent dictionary. It takes a minute to flip through pages; checking online leads you to Facebook which leads you to Twitter, then your favorite blog, then five or six click-bait articles, then next thing you know, it’s one and your assignment was due at midnight.
    • English is bullshit. Next question.
    • We’re taught that Paragraphs need to be 4-6 sentences, but guess what? Paragraphs aren’t prescriptions. Sometimes they need to be smaller. Sometimes, larger. Always, they’re prescribed for one speaker at a time except in extenuating circumstances. Start a new one for each new condition and each new patient, or you’ll never break down the text walls.
    • You can’t apply the same rules and fixes to every single situation. Learn what to apply and when, otherwise you’ll just confuse yourself.
    • Vary your fucking sentence structure and length, you filthy rotten philistines. Don’t line the entire page with rows of naked uncut spaghetti noodles and olives and expect the reader to call it delicious! Syntax! Variety! Don’t leave your readers lost and hungry!
    • Do! Your! Fecking! Research! You! Lazy! Impudent! Brats! Don’t write about high wind warnings on planets with no atmosphere or gravity or you’ll look like an out of this world idiot.
  15. Things dog people should know about cats:

    • They don’t hate everything – some of them just have resting bitch behavior.
    • They don’t want to kill you in your sleep – they want to cuddle...your face.
    • Some are picky about food. Others? “Feed me right now oR i WiLl ScReAm!!!”
    • The fat ones are the cuddliest. The skinny ones make good parrots.
    • They’re not lazy – they conserve energy for their one-am zoomies. No, they don’t care if that doesn’t work with your schedule.
    • Hairballs...that’s really just a euphamism for “fur-filled barf-cigar.”
    • If you treat them right, and don’t treat them like dogs, chances are they’ll love you for life. If you treat them like dogs, they’ll become assholes.
    • On the other hand, some really are just assholes from the start. It’s a toss-up.
    • Toe-beans. ‘nuff said.

    Brought to you by my two babies, Heiferlump Chance and Woozle of whom is screaming for food right now. Cats.

    1. InvidiaRed
    2. Ghost-of-a-Chance


      The title said cats annoying their owners, but most of what I saw was sweet neglected babies demanding (and some receiving) attention. :kittenpurr:

  16. I’m so ready for Fall.

    ...if I break my neck on the stairs tomorrow, that’s NOT what I meant.

    1. BronxWench


      I’m ready for 2021. Tomorrow would be nice.

    2. Ghost-of-a-Chance


      YAS! I like your idea better. 2020 has been a nightmare from beginning to’s gotten to the point where folks ask me “how’s life going?” and the only response I can think of is “it’s sharting blackbirds.”

      But then people who’ve never acquainted themselves with Hieronymus Bosch’s work are totally lost and wonder if I’ve got a screw loose. It’s an accurate mental image, though.

  17. Ladies, it looks like this thread needs some Ignore the fine print. Can I interest you in a case?
  18. An ongoing beta would be awesome but I’m not holding my breath or asking for one currently. (I had a beta for this...once...I miss her.) What I really need is – as the title says – a second opinion on a single completed chapter of my WIP Shifting the Paradigm. The last few scenes just...don’t feel as urgent and oomph-y to me as I hoped for. Wanted: Second opinion on oomph, intensity of suspense/threat, and cliffhanger. Fandom: Dragon Ball/Dragon Ball Z. There’s maybe two canon characters identified on-screen. Type of story: Drama/family/romance, heavily influenced by the characters’ traumatic histories and recovery from them. There won’t be any real romance until the OCs Rio and Sierra start getting their shit together and recovering from the damage they’ve done themselves, and any smut will have to wait until after that. The basic setup of the story (I’m heavily paraphrasing so this is gonna be weird, feel free to skip.) Main OCs are three sisters (Sierra, Rio, and Cordelia) and Rio’s teenage daughter Rowan. Rio got involved with an older man as a teenager, was nearly killed after she wound up pregnant and went to him for help, and has raised Rowan despite mild-to-moderate brain damage, serious post-traumatic stress, and stalking/abuse/physical attacks from the father when he’s not in prison. Rio’s sister, Sierra, was always there to help but when Sierra needed help (her health started failing, she got a diagnosis of something that would eventually cripple her, their parents died, and a few other crises) Rio shut her out and threw blame. Cordelia washed her hands of the entire family and shut herself away because she’s an asshole. In a fit of pique, depression, and desperation, Sierra ran away to a forest in hopes she’d die there instead of have to actually keep living with her new medical problems and her family falling apart. Instead, Piccolo and Gohan find her and bring her to Bulma, and Piccolo’s attitude and shouting helps her realize she’s throwing her life away over nothing. Sierra has spent the last several months getting medical help, undergoing counseling, and working up the nerve to confront her family and take back her life. Meanwhile, Rowan found herself on Dende’s radar (and he commenced guardian-stalking her because he’s an awkward teenage alien with a crush and nothing to do) and Rio still hasn’t figured out that Sierra’s running away was partly her fault. Cordelia is still moping at home with her dog. Most recently, Rowan’s sperm-donor was paroled, Rio got warning and they started packing to leave town until he’s gone. In this chapter: Rio is an asshole, we see that she’s not just an asshole and how her anger issues have affected her relationship with Rowan. Planning. More drama. Shtuff. Dende finds out Rowan’s sperm-donor is coming after them and sends help, it doesn’t go as planned, a family ally beats the tar out of Dad on the front lawn, and Rio and Rowan are brought from their home to the Lookout for their own safety. Sierra FINALLY reaches out because she knows her niece is in danger, but the call goes unanswered because Rowan forgot her phone. Cliffhanger followed by furious readers with torches and pitchforks. A whole list of triggers in this chapter alone: violence some mild referenced gore panic, panic attacks, and Post-Traumatic Stress complicated relationship between a mother with PTSD and her teenage daughter references to previous physical assault, child abuse, coerced sex between an adult and a minor resulting in pregnancy, stalking, attempted murder physical assault and threatening with a firearm (happens mostly off-screen) alien abduction (because...ya know...they get taken to aliens. It fits the canon.) ...suffice it to say this is WAY out of my usual writing boundaries and I’ll be slapping some heavy warnings on it when it’s posted. The scenes in question have no romance or sex, just impending doom followed by DOOM. Work examples: I’d love to read examples of y’all’s work – or, alternatively, some examples of what you would consider well-written stories – but it isn’t an absolute requirement. Again, I’m just looking for an opinion on the impact of the last few scenes here!
  19. My brain does the weirdest shit sometimes.

    A little-known fact about PTSD: even when it’s ‘managed,’ it can affect your ability to concentrate and focus in entirely awkward ways. In my case, this often means losing concentration when there’s background noise, getting distracted, and visually blending words, sentences, and lines together when I’m struggling to focus. Blame hypervigilance and its many little cohorts.

    Stressful? Very.
    Annoying? Definitely.
    Amusing? Sometimes.

    This is one of the funny moments. I’m doing research on TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) for the next chapter of Shifting the Paradigm, specifically looking for details about common materials used for cranial plates. (...I may need help.) I hit a generic article, beginning...


    Brain injuries can be acquired in a variety of ways, including:

    ...and I began scanning down the bullets on the list. I stopped – THAT doesn’t sound right! – I double-checked.

    ...yep. I seriously managed to read

    • Haemorrhage; 


    • Disorders (e.g. Parkinson’s disease, multiple sclerosis)

    and visually combined them into Hemorrhoids. The funny part? There are folks I know IRL for whom TBI by hemorrhoids could be a valid know...they’re such massive buttheads.


    ...I’m gonna shut up now. :safetocomeout: 

  20. Surely I’m not the only one who wonders “is this medically possible or am I exposing my n00bitude?” Alas, I couldn’t find a thread devoted to such a thing! So...uh...I guess if you find yourself with questions regarding injuries, illnesses, and other such junk...ask here?
  21. Fair warning: next person to call me "Gimpy" gets my cane up their ass. 

    (...I'm looking at you, ColdWarriors. I know where you sleep.)


  22. The state of the world has finally convinced me: humans are too ridiculous for words.
    From here on out, I choose to identify as a porg...


    ...because I, too, am small, awkward, chunky, incredibly useless, frequently in the way, and undeniably adorable, and I, too, make obnoxious sounds to communicate with others of my species.





    1. Strange_idea


      This went in a much Better direction than the first few words made me think

    2. Ghost-of-a-Chance


      What can I say? Porgs make everything better.  :thumbsup:

  23. Next chapter of A New Lease on Life“61: Forgiveness Goes Both Ways” – is complete, sent out for beta-reading, and with a little luck, should go live on ALL SITES (except Tumblr because Tumblr is run by censor-happy dickbags) by the end of the month! 

    And just think: it only took almost a YEAR to get that chapter completed. :eyebrow: Kimber Bryant is, again, a very large part of the delay. She’s so hard to write, I swear, sometimes I want to just give in and kill her off AGAIN. Forget second chances in other worlds, it’s too hard to get in her headspace to deal with writing her often. At least we only have two more Kimber-centric chapters before we can get back to our regular programming.

    ...why did I commit myself to her arc? I must be a masochist or something.

  24. It’s been a good minute since I’ve had a chance to pop on here to reply, but your suggestion hit the mark! I wound up going with “Forgiveness Goes Both Ways.” Thanks, everyone, for your advice and time. Until next time!