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Desiderius Price

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Everything posted by Desiderius Price

  1. Thanks, I do strive for it to be realistic (with my couple of tweaks). And thanks for the critique; I’m always trying different things with these oneshots, and it’s tough balancing pace with detail given the size constraint. Now, if you want longer, my potter story will most likely break a million words with plenty of time to introduce everybody!
  2. It could still be our universe … I mean, it’s possible. It’s mildly futuristic, so I’ve assumed a “genetics in a box” here, tuned for those markers of sexual orientation – there are spots in the chaptered stories where I refer to the “Great President (censored)”. (Does that fuel your nightmares?) I do like to bring the characters back, just like Mr. Baris in the previous story (he’s recurring too). It gives continuity to the the universe and familiarity. For this story, it’s backstory to something that gets alluded to in Dale’s Game, and would’ve been the subject of the final chapter if I didn’t accidentally end the story early (in fact, I kinda need to address that). It was a fast/fun write, and not every story has death in it (things would get really stale if they did). As I’m trying to make this a plausible/semi-realistic universe, deaths ought to be fairly rare things. BTW, thanks for the review.
  3. btw, I haven’t vanished. I needed a break from originals, and have been working on my Harry Potter story, which I plan to work on until I need a break from it. (btw, my main Potter story is on AO3 [adult] and FFN [clean], under the pen name “Dragon Voldemort”) I did submit Halloween and two Holiday stories this year, so there is new material, in this universe.
  4. Like an impatient kid, I went ahead and posted it.
  5. Second holiday story (it’ll go up later this week). Title: Santa’s Sleigh Tags: Bigotry, NoSex, Flashbacks Summary: A Christmas train ride doesn’t turn out as Fitz had expected.
  6. I’m now working on a second Christmas story, involves some of the material from the Halloween story that I did scrub.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Desiderius Price

      Desiderius Price

      It works better as a christmas story, with flashbacks, IMO.

    3. InvidiaRed
    4. Desiderius Price

      Desiderius Price

      Yesterday, a conversation with @CloverReef mentioned Christmas trains, and, well, I found I’m able to run with it, did like half of it last night.

  7. Finally, a story of mine you could read! I admit to being a perv, wanted that suicide bomber to be naked (except for his backpack)…. I meant, from the lore perspective, nudism is a trait that can be found among the atheists. While some might be docile, a number of them have radicalized, so there’s an elite fringe that treat it as a badge of honor to take action in the buff. Dead dog… taking notes for the next dark story. Thanks @JayDee for the review!
  8. Thank you for reading and reviewing. Yeah, my way of hinting to the method on the agents’ part here…. And I’m typically envisioning Agent Smith of the Matrix every time I’m writing him.
  9. I don’t always do bloody stories, but it was justified this year because of how I wanted the story to play out. Thanks for the review. Yep, guilt by association and one of the methods of enforcement within my universe.
  10. I haven’t strayed…. your other worlds might be disturbed by this adulterous affair.
  11. Here plot bunny…. here, over here, so long as you fellows stay away from me. I definitely know the challenge, to keep the plot simple, and how it likes to grow. That’s how the Dale’s Game came into existence, I was trying to write it as the holiday oneshot, but realized there were too many elements, too many moving parts for a reasonable oneshot. It had started to come off like yours, where I’d have prolonged exposition to the point that it felt like a download, cramming it all in. Thus, I spun the longer story off, and focused my oneshot on the simple premise.
  12. Yes, the madness of Black Friday seemed…. well, it was an itch I had to settle. All those stampedes, the fights, the insanity for a cheap TV, discounted socks, or less. And in this case, the seemingly small human gesture of holding the door open for a stranger, used against her. btw, I tend not to have Jello around the house, health reasons.
  13. And I got the first review in!
  14. Winter is nearly here, tis the time for Santa to be banging the reindeer.

    1. JayDee

      JayDee

      “You can’t spell comet without come!”

    2. CloverReef

      CloverReef

      :cry: Childhood = ruined 

      The joke there is that I had a childhood! Ha! Nah…  :taser: :spank: You want christmas pornstar names, google Christmas elves. http://www.elfcrazy.com/traditional-names-of-the-first-christmas-elves/ 

    3. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      :spank2:

      Oh good, now I don’t have to feel guilty for thinking claus was hot

      or that demonic nun. :mademyday:

  15. Title: Jello Tags: Bigotry, Exhib, Fingering, MCD, MiCD, MF, NoSex, Violence Summary: A smoke break goes wrong, Megan heads home.
  16. So, this man has two todgers?
  17. That a motivator when I first contributed a Halloween story back in 2015. Small samples, reviews, and perhaps even picking up a reader or two.
  18. Some seemed better than others…. Like I can complain, I’d probably get top spot if my smut were submitted.
  19. Taking a dump on the holidays? Readers want to know…
  20. Vore?
  21. 39268
  22. 39266
  23. I posted a chapter, which means, I’ve met my NaNoWriMo goal, with a little extra, several hundred over 200k.  :yahoo:  

    Next month….hmmm, I need a goal.  300k would be a bit much, but 250k seems too small, maybe 275k?  Thinking about it.

    1. swirlingdoubt
    2. Desiderius Price

      Desiderius Price

      I’ve already got 200k in the bank…. so it’s only 3k/day.  Maybe.

  24. Maybe that’s a good start to the story…. typo gets somebody the wrong thing?
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