GeorgeGlass

From the Ashes -- Tahn This is solid work. It's hard to capture a whole lifetime in a short story, so I'm impressed that you managed it without the story either seeming rushed or becoming bloated. Nice descriptive details; the fire scene in particular really sticks in my mind because you included details that others might not think of (eg, flames dripping from the crosstimbers, the way the stairs smoke before they catch fire). Also, [spoilerS] I'm a sucker for a happy ending, and yours was tearfully happy. Thanks for a good read. Nightmare’s Dream -- Perverted Pages Makes the interesting point that a modern vampire might be very much like a serial killer. This one chooses victims of a specific type, and he has a prepared location to which he takes them, a ritualistic way of killing them, and a preferred means of disposing of the bodies. The story has some language issues, mainly run-on sentences and a few confusing constructions (eg, “She heard her name whispered and gasped”). But I liked the bit at the end about the good old days, which gives the reader a valuable bit of perspective on how different a modern vampire’s circumstances would be.

Re: "Impulse" Thanks very much. That was exactly what I was going for. "Yours truly" suggests that I know who you are, Anon. But thanks all the same.

CL.Mustafic — The Glory Hole to Hell Atmospheric and well told. The various classic elements (the ghost story, the abandoned house, the doomed lovers) all make the story that much easier to visualize. As others have said, the title is awesome—and, better still, not just a hollow promise. A part of me wonders, though, whether this story is a sort of test to see whether readers will cheer the punishment of the three oil-rig workers for their bigotry while simultaneously embracing the stereotype of southerners as bigoted rednecks. JayDee — Fucking Halloween Party Nicely done. Not many typos, despite your comment; I only noticed a few minor errors (eg, “too as well,” one place where you wrote “Todd” but seemed to be referring to Steve). I liked the main character, and it didn’t pose any problem for me that I wasn’t already familiar with her background; it seemed like all the important bits could be inferred from the brief comments about her relationship with Kizzy. The twist near the end was great, in that it took me by surprise but still made sense. And I liked Shannon’s powers: The idea of the succubus being able to read a man’s memories via his semen was perfect. Plus, her being a succubus puts a new twist (new AFAIK, anyway) on the “demon seeking redemption” concept, in that she has a rather different set of powers to try to use for good instead of evil.

"All others are Number Two or lower!" --The Sphinx, Mystery Men Thank you! It's a bit short because I really wanted to post it at least a couple of days before Halloween. You know, I hadn't even thought about that angle, but that's a very interesting point. Will keep that in mind for future stories. I mainly like the idea of people letting their animal instincts out--especially if its someone who normally holds them all inside, like Isabella. Actually, the inspiration was very specific: It was a picture of Isabella as a werewolf, drawn by Launny on Inkbunny. (Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find that pic on any sites that don't require an account to view it.) After I commented on it, Centralman--who loves both P&F and animal-transformation stories--PMed a few days ago me and suggested that I write a fic about it. I liked the idea of normally demure Isabella going feral, so I banged it out. Thanks for reviewing!

Sorry for the slow response. The recent changes to Hotmail make new messages harder to see. Yes, it's all Microsoft, not me. Finally, someone gets it! Thank you. I see what you did there. A twist on a twist. Thank you for your analysis, Mr. Naught.

Becky's Grave — JoeLong I tried, I really did, but I always have a lot of trouble coming into a story in the middle. I had no mental image of the characters or understanding of their references to previous events, because all of that was done in another story or stories that I haven't read. Sorry. Girl Who Wears Glasses — Magusfang Nice. Interesting plot, good slow reveal on Victor, sympathetic main character, and utterly hate-able villain. Also, I liked the vivid descriptions of the characters (and especially their Halloween costumes; I even wondered for a bit whether Gayle's costume might be magical). I noticed some language issues, mainly missing or misused punctuation, and there are a couple of places where the perspective shift seems abrupt (particularly the one that happens mid-paragraph). But none of that was enough to discourage me from reading on. Good job. Thank you! "Chilling" was definitely what I was going for. Dang it, I wasn't trying to make you cry; I was trying to make you wet yourself in terror. Guess you can't win 'em all. Seriously, thank you. Glad you liked it.

Ghosts Aren't Real, says the Vampire to the Werewolf - ChrissyQuinn I could so relate to this--not because I'm a gay British vampire (okay, I am, but I'm totally in the closet about the British thing), but because I remember well times in my youth when I was the more sensible friend who lets the not-at-all-sensible friend talk him into doing something stupid. This story captures that feeling perfectly. And the ginger joke was hilarious. Feed the Land - BronxWench This story is so atmospheric that I felt less like I was reading it than like it was being told to me by someone (maybe by a campfire, or in front of a fireplace in some remote cottage). Love the sumptuously worded descriptions of the scene and the characters. And I found the ending grimly satisfying. Thank you! I've always found it challenging to achieve the happy medium between "Yeah, totally saw that coming" and "That came out of nowhere and makes no sense." (And I'll admit it's not the most original idea in the world.) In any case, I'm glad you found it spooky. The admiration and envy of BronxWench are treasures beyond value. Thank you! Edit: My wife just read "Snap" and, being a social worker who works with a lot of people who have been in jail or prison, she pointed out that there's no way that someone who was arrested only a month ago would already be in prison--he'd still be in jail awaiting trial. She found this timeline issue so confusing that it ruined the story for her. So I guess I'll have to figure out a way to fix that.

I just posted my chapter. Probably correctly. This is the first sex-free story I've ever posted on AFF (although it's definitely not for children). So Chrissy, thanks for inspiring me to take a stroll outside my comfort zone. And thanks, of course, for organizing this thing.

Thank you! And there's more subterranean fun to come.

The answers to your three questions, in order, are you'll see, you'll see, and you'll see. I'm glad you're enjoying the story, and thanks for taking the time to comment. I've had to take a short break from this story to work on a few others, but I'll be back at it soon.

Bumping this thread in honor of Back to the Future Day. And in the name of shameless self-promotion. Same thing, really.

I tried to resist... Author: George Glass Summary: A man convicted of murdering his own wife and children is visited by a reporter who hopes to be the first to find out why he did it. Title: Snap

Because someone called you a stuffed shirt, and you're aiming to prove them wrong.

Because you're tired of your coworkers complaining about the junk on your desk.

Thank you! Don't worry about my continuing the story--this thing is going to make me keep writing it until either it's finished or I am.

Wow--thanks for all the input! I like the idea of the hospital mix-up, especially because it helps to explain where the niece has been for the last several months. And the ferry-crash idea leads nicely into that, because it creates a plausible "presumed dead" scenario for the niece. This was a huge help. Thanks again, all.

I'm a little slow in saying so, but congrats! *In voice of Cajun football fan from The Waterboy:* You can do eeet!

I'm working on a story with an important plot point that I can't figure out how to make happen in a plausible way. So I'm hoping you might lend me a bit of your knowledge and creativity where mine has failed. Here's the scenario: A man in his early twenties is close with his older sister and her young daughter (his niece), who is about five years old. Brother and sister have a falling out, and the sister and niece end up moving to another city. Soon afterward, both sister and niece are killed--or so the brother thinks. The niece is actually alive. So here's my question: Is there a way, in modern America, that the brother (and, presumably, the world at large) could believe his niece to be dead for several months when she is actually alive? Just to make this puzzle more difficult, there are a couple of conditions: 1. The sister can't have died in some kind of huge, hundreds-dead disaster that would be remembered for years to come. (This takes place in a real city where no such disaster has occurred recently.) 2. The sister and niece's seeming deaths can't be the result of some sort of long-term plot, standing family rivalry, etc. It has to seem random or capricious, like a car accident or a mugging. Thanks in advance!

Having no shame about tooting my own horn, I will tell you that I've written tons of original stories that have the Minor1 and Minor2 tags. You can find them (among my other original stories) here.

Re: "Guidelines" Thanks for getting a jump on that. Just put it on my account at Kinko's.

Re: "A Beach Like No Other" I generally avoid sequels unless I have what I feel is a really good idea for one. For this story, I haven't had such an idea yet.

Re: "Guidelines" Hey there, Mona! I didn't actually go anywhere; I've just been posting more fanfics than original stories lately. And I always look forward to your comments. Not only do they put a smile on my face, but I love that you are a completely fearless reader. A lot of people wouldn't touch a story like "Guidelines" (or "Cruel Nature," or "The Last Toy," which you've also reviewed) with a ten-foot pole, but nothing seems to scare you. In any case, thanks very much!

I didn't mean to say that I change my stories in midstream on the basis of reader feedback; I just consider said feedback when I think about future stories. But yeah, if popularity were all I cared about, I'd write M/M Harry Potter and Naruto stories. When I first started posting here, I was quite worried about how readers would react to my rougher stuff, so I stuck with posting only stories that seemed relatively inoffensive. Then I read a post here in a forums about a story someone was looking for (and about which others seemed to be enthusiastic) that was so rapey and violent that I thought, "Wow, I guess people here are okay with that kind of thing." The most popular original story I've ever posted here ("Caitlyn's Punishment") was also one of the nastiest.

Because it's time those stiffs in Human Resources got a look at the raw materials.