GeorgeGlass

From DoctorYnot on October 31, 2020 Rather than going paragraph by paragraph, I’m going to respond to your comments as a whole. Given that this was the longest chapter in the story so far, I wasn’t inclined to make it longer still by including more buildup. I’m weirdly anal about having some uniformity among chapters (except for the occasional one that just gets away from me and ends up being way longer than the others). In hindsight, what I probably should have done is dropped some hints in chapters 2 and 4 (in which Lincoln is in school) that Mrs. Johnson sees that something is up with Lincoln, and that she at least might be a bit attracted to Lincoln herself. But when I write a story like this, I guess I have a tendency to choose a “model” and stick with it – in this case, making only Lincoln and his partner the only POV characters in each chapter. Again, me being too anal for my own good. BTW, it was your previous comment that inspired me to throw the pregnancy bit in there. I hadn’t considered it before, but once you put it in my head, it seemed too exciting a bit to leave out.

From Fairy-Slayer on October 30, 2020 Given Coach Pacowski’s use of barbed wire in his obstacle course, one could argue that sex with Mrs. Johnson was the less kinky activity of the two. By this point, he’s had quite a lot of practice. Which, really, is the thrust of this story (as it were): precociously horny boy with precocious sexual and interpersonal skills is turned loose on his elementary school, and wackiness ensues. My feeling is that Mrs. Johnson’s good judgment has an OFF button somewhere in there. Thanks for another day-brightening review!

Hey there, SWP1. Glad you enjoyed the latest chapters of “Just One Rule” and “Wishful.” (I like the Gretchen/Adyson comparison.) Hope you had a good Halloween. I certainly did: A friend helped me build a candy slide in front of the house, and we got almost 200 trick-or-treaters. It was fun.

We shall see...

From Isabella8923 on November 01, 2020 Thanks again!

From Thundercloud on November 01, 2020 Thanks! I tried hard not to waste any words at the beginning. I do refer to Sam as “her” a few times during the intro, but I don’t really describe her physically until the sex scene starts, so I can see how you might have been unclear about Sam’s gender. Thanks! I was really aiming for that. Like Jenny seducing the dad? Given how he’d abused her and her lasting injury from it, I don’t think I could have made that believable. I would have had to make his abuse of her sexual rather than physical, and I didn’t want to take this particular story in that direction (especially since Jenny is the one under-18 character). Thanks for the review!

Really enjoyed your story, @JayDee. But I want to read it again before I review it.

From JayDee on October 29, 2020 Thanks! I tried to cram in as much info into as few words as possible. It's certainly a favorite topic of mine. I'm so glad the ambiguity of the situation generated the suspense I was aiming for. LOL! Huh, I didn't think about that particular connection. I was just thinking "mad with lust and super-strong." Thanks!

Yes! Ooooh, and a nice long list of content codes.

Now posted: “Just One Rule” Chapter 6: Extra Credit.

From InBrightestDay on October 27, 2020 You can always count on me to make you feel better about your own perversions. The suspense was unintentional, but I’ll take it. Basically, while her siblings were having wild gorilla sex, Jenny was planning the perfect crime. As soon as I thought of that line, I knew I had to use it. I tried to foreshadow it a little with the way that they look at each other, and the way Sam touches Freddie’s arm, but I may have undersold it. I wish that I’d had a little more time to think about and then work on this one. I was actually going to save this one for next Halloween, but when my original story for this year fizzled out, I figured I’d better switch to this. Glad you enjoyed. Thanks for reviewing!

Where authors can post responses to any reviews of their 2020 Halloween Party stories.

Yesterday, I posted my Halloween story “Unleash.” On the one hand, I’m happy to have actually gotten it done before Halloween; on the other hand, I wish I’d had a few more weeks with it, just to kick ideas around in my head before I started writing. Finishing “Unleash” has opened a slot on the List of Twenty. I’ve decided to fill it with a story called “Wedding Night,” which is inspired by the artwork of Hezzer and which takes place in a world where futas are the ruling class. A poor family effectively sells their daughter to one of these wealthy futas at a high price because the daughter is an “early” – a girl who becomes fertile at a young age, before showing any outward signs of puberty. You can guess what direction the story takes after that.

Re: “Wishful” From Fairy-Slayer on October 26, 2020 Now that you mention it, I like to think that, too. Honestly, I just didn’t think of it. But Valerius has probably learned not to get too attached to his serial masters, given that he’s been through a great many of them over the millennia. Thanks! One of Jomahawk’s stipulations was that Angelica would reveal some kind of secret to Jace, but he left it to me to decide what that secret would be. So I’d have her confess something, and then I’d think, “No, that’s not a good enough secret.” So I’d write another, and another, and then I ended up not actually wanting to get rid of any of them. I really wracked my brain to come up with that. Because Angelica is inspired by Lucy Loud, I remembered a Loud House episode in which Lucy “cheated” on Edwin by reading werewolf novels, and there we are. Hey, no spoilers. What did I just say?! I don’t remember Pervy Spice. Did she quit the band before they got famous? Thanks for another mood-lifting review!

I’ve finished my story and opened up the Halloween Party to all! (I’ve added the link to the top post.) Folks can add their stories when ready, and please post your title and tags here so I can add them to the Introduction page. Oh, and here are mine: Unleash, by George Glass Warnings: Inc, M/F, MiCD, Violence Summary: Seeking the courage to escape their abusive father, three teens try a new street drug that can empower you to act on your deepest desires. But what if your deepest desire isn’t what you think it is?

Re: “The Order of Things” From The all seeing eye on October 25, 2020 I don’t have plans for one right now, but it could happen if the right idea hits me. Even if it doesn’t, I’m sure I’ll be writing more stories in this vein. Also, if you liked this story, you might also enjoy “The Wrong Locker Room.”

From DoctorYnot on October 24, 2020 I don’t know what to say in response to this except “Stay tuned.”

Just checking: Does anyone have a story that’s finished and ready to post? I’m hoping to have mine ready tomorrow.

Re: “Wishful” From Jomahawk2694 on October 24, 2020 At this stage of the story, I tend to think of the token as nudging reality in whatever direction will help fulfill its owner's desires. There was probably a rainstorm coming anyway, but the token might have made it more severe and longer-lasting. With convenient rain bands that thunder violently during orgasms but quiet down when it’s time for dialogue. I'm so glad you liked that part, because I was wracking my brain to come up with a confession for Angelica to make that didn't just repeat something that had already happened in the story. (And even so, it kind of did – hence the reference to Neva.) Aw daaaaaamn, I never even thought about that. Yes, that absolutely happened. We shall see. You know I love a cliffhanger. I'm so glad you've been this happy with it. Writing this story has taken me in directions I wouldn't necessarily have gone on my own, and that has been a great experience for me.

From DoctorYnot on October 23, 2020 I don't mind at all. I love your detailed reviews. I had so much fun writing Lori in this story. She's such a mercurial character that you can write her doing just about anything and make it believable as long as you make her mood match her actions. Thanks! Part of why I like writing Loud House fics is the fun of finding ways to capture the show's consistent levity. Having the other sisters available as background characters helps a lot with that, as do the peculiarities of the Royal Woods setting (like the inordinate amount of fusion cuisine). Thank you. Yeah, there's a certain "claustrophobia" to this story, because even though Lincoln is surrounded by people at all times, there's really no one he feels he can talk to about what's happening -- Clyde chief among them. And I think he would fear that going to his mom with this would open a bigger can of worms than he wants. BTW, I've come to realize that I keep shunting Clyde to the side in these stories, because he's always a potential source of interference in my evil schemes. Therefore, I'm planning a Clyde-centric story titled "Clydeborg: The Six Million Dollar Ladies' Man." again. Spell check says no, but my eyes say yes. That line had a second purpose: to show Ronnie Anne as clever and the type to plan ahead, because I needed her scheming in chapter 5 to seem plausible. Thanks. I remembered Bobby shouting "BABE!" through the window when Lori reluctantly locked him out in "Undie Pressure" (one of my favorite episodes), and then I imagined him shouting that in a very different context. Yup. That’s part of why I wanted to feature her in this story, weird teeth and all. IMO, gradual escalation is a really valuable tool in writing sexy fanfics. The challenge, I find, is making the early stages interesting enough that readers will want to keep reading. So in chapter 1, I used a lot of comedy, familiar Loud House images and tropes, and the promise of more action at the end to keep folks interested. I'm not a fan, either. But in this fic, I felt that I had already stretched readers' suspension of disbelief to the limit; the kids' not practicing safe sex, I thought, would be going too far. Also, Lori giving Lincoln the condom was important to the story because it showed that she was totally committed to her plan and that there would be no talking her out of it. I find that I can only make sex scenes so long without feeling like they drag, unless there's some kind of change-up that keeps them interesting (eg, like people switching partners and activities in the nonstop orgy that is my Phineas and Ferb story "Hot Yoga"). Ooooh, that's a good image. Having used a whole bunch of excuses to keep Lincoln and Ronnie Anne from talking privately in chapters 1-4, I had to finally give them a break here. I also wanted them to have more "vanilla" sex before they started talking about going to "fifth base." And, of course, they needed an opportunity to scheme against Lori. Yeah, fair point. I think every kid has something they're insecure about, however tough their exterior may be. Something I'll keep in mind, though. My biggest weakness as a writer is pace. I worry about getting bogged down in details (I'm not a fan of novels that describe everything in agonizing detail while you wait for something to actually happen), and sometimes I overcompensate and speed through things as a result. My original plan was to make this story 4 chapters long -- one per base. But that would have just made it a series of sex scenes rather than a story per se. And then this idea hit me when I imagined Ronnie Anne saying to Lincoln, "So, you ever heard of 'fifth base'?" and then imagined Lori crying "Oh, God, my ass!" So this was definitely a case of plot flowing from character. Putting the shoe on the other foot opened up a lot of possibilities in terms of Lincoln's and especially Lori's behavior. I tried to milk that for all it was worth. That she is. Thanks! This was the most complicated chapter to write, so I'm glad you think it worked. Yeah, I wanted Lincoln to be totally committed to the action this time. Thank you! I'm gratified that you liked this scene even if the action was not to your taste. I didn't think this story could end satisfactorily without some kind of resolution between Lincoln and Lori. And I felt like, having said goodbye to Bobby, Lori was now in a place where she could start reflecting on everything that happened on those five crazy weekends, and looking at her own behavior a bit more objectively. Thanks! That was partly inspired by Lori's behavior in "Heavy Meddle" (another favorite episode of mine) when she and the other Loud girls were clearly very excited by the prospect of Lincoln having a girlfriend, and by other episodes in which Lori is anxious to give Lincoln dating advice. Not to mention “Save the Date,” which was the main inspiration for this whole story. Thanks. I'm not sure the epilogue was absolutely necessary, but I thought it would be nice to end with some indication as to where Lincoln and Ronnie Anne stood with each other after their wild month together. Thank you so very much. Wow. Thank you! Thank you for such a thorough and enjoyable review!

Chapter 8 of “Wishful” is posted!

Maybe we’ll see an uptick in Owl House fics when the show hits Disney+ and all the cord-cutters get to see it for the first time. In any case, I think you’re taking a good approach to this, and I’m looking forward to the rest of it. As for tags, I don’t see any reason to spoil that stuff, either; IMO, tags are mainly for warning people away from potentially objectionable content, not ‘ships the reader may not be into.

Schweet! My story does not want to be alone on Halloween.