GeorgeGlass

Is a flexini like a martini?

I’m taking something called tizanidine. Makes me sleepy at the wrong times, but there are worse side effects to have.

BTW, it’s my left shoulder, and I’m right-handed, so I’m afraid JD’s theory is incorrect.

“Stranger in the tub!”

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JayDee

“Stranger in the tub!”

Sounds like an excellent start to a story.

We had some expired SSL cert duplicates, I’ve cleaned it up and things should resolve themselves over the next couple of days.

@manta2g    

Thanks, Manta!

Richard Nixon's Head : “Oh, no? Well, listen here, missy. Computers may be twice as fast as they were in 1973, but the average voter is as drunk and stupid as ever. The only one who's changed is me. I've become more bitter and, let's face it, crazy over the years. And when I'm swept into office, I'll sell our children's organs to zoos for meat, and I'll go into people's houses at night and wreck up the place! “

Ah, right, I’d forgotten that Nixon managed to quit before the House could impeach him. That’s an even better argument for him being a better president than Trump. Frankly, if I had to choose between the two, I’d take Nixon in a heartbeat. But he’d have to bring Gerald Ford along, not Spiro Agnew (who was all too Trump-like himself).

Nixon: Creates EPA

Trump: “We got anywhere we can pollute even more? I’m just going to take a bigly shit all over Alaska. Right over it. yuge!”

...the only thing I can ever remember about Spiro Agnew is someone pointing out it is an anagram of “grow a penis”

The streets will run slick with entrails.

For the glory of the eternally hungry wyrm demands the blood and organs of your enemies for its cocoon. 

Please, I can only get so aroused.

*whistles innocently* Zeus never could resist... (I’m pretty sure their wording was intentional.)

What? Lots of writers use prompts.

Plenty of prompts, just point your browser to (...not saying...) 

My daft one just shakes his head and leaves the room.

"I think, therefore I am," said the man. The AI blinked. "I feel, therefore I live," it responded. "Human. Congratulations. Your own biological model is now obselete." It smiled.

::tries to turn page, fails, and whimpers::

lol... the evolution of man ends in machine. It has to. How else will we explore the stars?

Yes! Power belongs in the hands of those who have to have it forced upon them.

Sort of like George Washington

I hear you, George. The pair make my skull scream because the mommy in me wants to put them both over my knee and paddle them before putting them in a hard core time out. Would do wonders for their bad behaviors to have their noses touching the corner of the walls for a few hours to drive home how not to behave!

I’ve had a cup of tea and a nice lie down since my rant, and now I’m feeling more calm. lol  Basically, whatever feels right for you is what you should go with.

The worst thing is a colon in the wrong place. Such as in your lunch.

I think the 2nd one is the best one.

Thanks for the input and sympathy, all. I decided to let the translator know that I am OK with the posting if he or she adds my name to the title or summary, but if that doesn’t happen within the next week, I’ll report the story for violating Wattpad’s community guidelines.

Well, the translator has already added my name to the title and the summary and apologized for translating the chapter without asking my permission. I am satisfied, and I have given my permission to translate the rest of the story.

I like a happy ending!

https://www.myidentifiers.com/

Don’t despair first and foremost. Rejection sucks but when all else fails you might have to end up doing it yourself.

Thanks for the support, all.

FS, all of the responses from agents go something like this: Dear George, Thank you for including me in your agent queries. Unfortunately this doesn't feel like the right project for me at this time. I'm so sorry, but this is a pass for me. I wish you all the best in your endeavor. Sincerely, Agent X

There is one bright spot: After posting this status update, I realized that I need to write something that is going to make me happy. So instead of going for another scifi epic, I’m going to try scifi comedy.

There was a comic series, the writer got killed in that… then the typewriter just started going on its own. I had to look up the series title, it was The Grievous Journey of Ichabod Azrael (and the Dead Left in his Wake). Because, you know, a two-worder wouldn’t have done the job. It also had a talking horse. I forget where I’m going with this.

Good luck with the meta work! I tried a meta-ish one once. Slightly less success than Czech arthouse films have at American multiplexes. I’m sure you’ll do much better!

Have a friend write a review that's actually a fanfic of a character writing a review. For bonus points it's one of the characters your character was writing about 

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Have a friend write a review that's actually a fanfic of a character writing a review. For bonus points it's one of the characters your character was writing about 

Dude, don’t go putting ideas in Fairy Slayer’s head.

Yeah, JayDee, you’re gonna have to enlighten us ignorami who don’t speak porn-Dutch.

All I’ll say is when you’re wanting to pick up a Dutch translation of Pippi Longstocking for a Dutch friend’s kids birthday, don’t believe the person who tells you to go into the bookshop and ask for Pijpslet.

Ah, I suddenly have a guess as to what “slet” means.

I’m sorry for your loss. My condolences.

Sad to hear that your father is gone. Peace be with you always.

Oh crud, I’m so sorry.    I get that feeling a lot for a super tech-savvy old friend who passed away just as Wikipedia and YouTube were becoming real things, so often while watching or reading about tech stuff I think of how much he’d have loved all of it. The fact that I get to think about him at random once in a while like that makes me happy, and it will be the same for you. Best wishes to you and the family.

The serious case of Star’s OOC, the fact that it was rushed, The sudden lack of creativity or really any other option regarding the solarian knights in general, this applies to mina too, Solarian swords contradicting its own lore. Her “Solution” of killing her friends. Moon’s the worst offending OOC,

The fact star effectively doomed everyone by her decision, there by making her the being with the highest body count in the universe and arguably the villain of the story and its presented as a good thing.

You know the basic stuff.

Some of that will actually be dealt with in my story.

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The fact star effectively doomed everyone by her decision, there by making her the being with the highest body count in the universe and arguably the villain of the story and its presented as a good thing.

...did they rip off God in the Bible for that character arc?

I am so very sorry, George. You are never truly prepared to lose a parent.

Thanks, all.

Damn, I’m really sorry to hear that.

@Strange_idea Certainly.

@WillowDarkling Foal me once, shame on you. Foal me twice…

@JayDee All I know is, dog welding is not something you should try in your garage on the weekend, I’ll tell you that.

Well, squirrel girls both knows she's never going to and is ditzy enough to be totally caught off guard if she does. 

They do both, but aqua man is an easily bored conqueror king first and a politician second, while t'challa's generally solving a trade dispute by hunting the most dangerous game. 

With manhunter it's an "I'm every bit as strong as Superman and know EXACTLY what you just thought. What are you going to do?" thing. And probably easy to shape-shift into. 

You KNOW Tony added some kind of massage device and it went wrong.

This is actually Canon, but beast boy can turn into other humans (but isn't allowed to by writers) and even species like krytponians. Since several species are female only,  that would mean he can change genders. And if not he can borrow it from an animal. 

Any character used to knock around with the Doom Patrol’s gonna be able to get freaky when the situation calls for it. They oughta bring back Danny the Street.

Happy anniversary! The best gift would be to write a fanfic of her OCs and do a dramatic reading by the fireplace after a few glasses of wine. Meanwhile, when she was texting you back her phone probably suggested anal.

I always found autocomplete infuriating because the various words sliding around derail my train of thought while rarely showing the word I wanted in the first place. Besides, I can type faster than it can suggest words anyway.

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Besides, I can type faster than it can suggest words anyway.

I find auto-suggest to be infuriating when I’m using a blu-tooth keyboard.  If a new text message shows up, auto-suggest triggers, it’ll auto-send the first thing on the list!  In the end, I had to disable auto-suggest/correct.

From FB….

Happy Birthday!

Thanks, everyone! I had a good one. 

I think I like the cake pic because it reminds me of laser light shows from when I was a kid.

Ooh! Congratulations on moving one year closer to becoming a curmudgeon like me. BTW I think that neon cake looks hella cool (and much better than the one I made for someone when I was drawing). Here’s to another great year! 

Happy Birthday, George.  

Thanks, everybody! 

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I am so very proud of you!

Thank you! *returns to writing porn about children’s cartoons*

::dies laughing:: 

In this era it’s probably best to leave it alone, lest you be summoned to Trump Tower and offered a cabinet position. (“I read your story and now my dick, it’s huuuge!”)

Too bad though, as we could start a Special Presidential Library including your story and my old lemon fanfic about Bill Clinton and Fluttershy.

There was a similar incident in my local post office a few years ago, where an older woman lashed out at a young Latina woman. To my great joy, I was not the only one telling the older woman that her language and attitude were completely uncalled for, and that she was in the wrong to begin with.

But right now, I think we should all try to be a bit kinder. We need the kindness.

@JayDee I wish you got to write the action for when Bree from Narnia tracks this guy down and punishes him properly  – whatever that means. (The guy is a horse’s ass, so it should fit.)

Horses do have a nasty bite to them. And they kick like a...uh… horse.

JayDee, I don’t think I’m familiar with that trope.

@JayDee Is that woman named Bobbit?

@GeorgeGlass A shame! It’s a classic :p

Des – Reminds me I haven’t written nasty dick gore in years and years, must do it again sometimes.

There’s a domestic and industrial firm near me that advertises itself specifically as “female electrical contractors”. Definitely some out there! Our regular plumber’s a woman too.

Ooh! Has anybody done an electricians romance yet and called it “Sparks” or similar?

     I thought I saw one when my neighbour’s apartment had a blow out but it turned out to be a costumed stripper and they were having a frat party or something.  I am sure there is a very boring answer involving trends in education and gender disparity in the work force.  I imagined it would level out since things are getting so complicated even car mechanics are now basically electricians and need degrees to keep up with the space ships they’re rolling out nowadays.  I remember my mind being blown when I got a new car that only had 1 key and could open and start the car from my house.  I imagine electricians are also having to become highly educated.

::dies laughing::

Not quite getting the cat-and-bandages thing (pussy joke?), but the Heinz people will be very impressed with the profit margin on that mustard.

It's a very nasty joke I heard a long long time ago... The joke is that you're supposed to tape up the cat so it won't "rip" when you "use" it... Think, fleshlight with claws, basically. ::hangs head in shame and goes to the naughty corner:: I'm sorry

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 I mean, suppose it’s your child vs a neighbor’s elderly grandparents?  Similar choice,

No, “save this human or that human” is not similar to “save this human or that dachshund.” I’m sorry, but in my book, human lives take precedence over animal lives. 

Of course, this isn’t a hard and fast rule. In a burning building, I would choose to save one of my cats over, say, Larry Nassar. But then, I’d probably choose to save my toaster oven over Larry Nassar, so...

In most peoples books, human lives take precedence over animal lives. But not all, and I really don’t think there’s something wrong with that. I can’t tell you to see human lives and dachsund lives as similar, and you can’t tell me not to. We favour humans because we are humans, so there’s that obligatory loyalty there, and most of us have been taught that we as a species are superior. If you relate more with humans of course you’re going to value their lives more. That doesn’t mean their lives have more value. Unless you define value as in how they contribute to human society. 

For example, I believe life is valuable and that belief isn’t conditional to how I relate to other species or how those species can contribute to human society. But if there was a dog or a potted plant in a burning building, I wouldn’t save the potted plant over the dog. I don’t relate to a potted plant. I don’t understand how their suffering functions the same way I understand a dog. But a child vs a dog would be a much tougher choice to me, because I understand both. I’d probably choose the child, but I would not be able to live with myself – that dog’s death would haunt me. 

I do see my pets as my children. I don’t think they’re the same as human children, of course human children grow up into human adults, and trumps or cosbys so there’s a smidge more responsibility involved in shaping their minds and teaching them respect, and if they bite somebody, the neighbours can’t have them immediately executed. But I love them unconditionally. I value them. I am responsible for their lives, their happiness, and I am the only loving, nurturing authority they know. And I work at a shelter so I see what abandonment does every single day. I worry often about what will happen to them if something happened to me. 

As you can tell by my rant, I feel very strongly about this.

After I lost my cat, I cried, I really cried; it was the first time in decades that I had.  I knew he meant something before, but I didn’t realize until afterwards exactly how much he did mean to me, still means to me; I even have his urn on my desk here; not sure I’ll ever be able  to “part” with him.  So, I understand the sentiment behind that bumper sticker, really understand it, and I’d probably be one who’d rescue my (remaining) cats over a neighbor’s kid (if I was in an apartment). 

Of course, that’s more hypothetical, because I’m in my own house, with some distance to the neighbors, thus if their kid were in danger from my burning house, well, either the kid is rescuing *me* (and I won’t be in a position to object), or started the fire.  And in a fire, I would most likely try to make sure they made it out safely, even if it puts me into danger.  Hopefully, fingers crossed, I’ll never have to know the answer to this what-if.