All I can really say is that people are weird, and I think you'd be best not to dwell on it. The sad fact is that reviewers are a minority of their own here on aff, so trying to dissect that small percentage to find out what the majority desires is an exercise in headaches.
As to what wome want from fics, well, I can't really tell you. I can tell you what I want in a fic, but I'm just one woman, not the entirety of women kind.
Personally, if there has to be sex in a story it must mean something. It doesn't have to be the crux of the plot, though it's nice when it is, and it doesn't have to be long and drawn out, but I want to see the characters build up to it, fall into it, and see the aftermath it leaves, see the characters change and grow because of it. Sex is a big deal, and nothing turns me off a story more than pointless smut being shoved into every chapter just for the sake of having smut. Don't get me wrong, I love a good pwp as much as the next person, but if there are going to be multiple chapters I expect the characters sex to actually amount to something in terms of character development or plot, depending on what sort of story it is.
As for rape, well, if rape is sexualised, or trivialized and used as a device for some other plot point then I'll drop a story like it's hot. The former because it is not what I'm into that and the latter because it upsets me and makes me frustrated with society. But if a story actually explores to trauma and aftermath of rape and shows a person struggling to heal or to get on with life, that's the sort of rapefic I'm interested in reading, though I usually avoid the tag because the latter type of story is scarcely found.
Just don't focus on making things women-friendly or man-friendly, in this day and age people can decide what they want for themselves and will take it as they find it. Just focus on crafting good stories the way you want them, and eventually your audience will make themselves known.