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Showing content with the highest reputation on 11/25/2020 in all areas

  1. Wow, this site’s been around for how long and nobody’s ever used this tab before? That’s almost impressive. Anyway, this thread is for anyone wanting to leave thoughts or comments concerning the story I’m starting to put up on here now, Mortuus Orbis, a work I cowrote with my good friend InBrightestDay. I hope there will be some.
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  2. Take the time you need. With awesome feedback like yours it is a sure delight to read.
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  3. Not to worry, this one is the original. Figured I might as well go for the full version on here. Porn and splatter remain. Though when you mention cunnilngus I think you must be thinking of the second story, which I doubt will end up on here for donkey's years, assuming I think it's worth posting here at all. Which would be a shame if so, as I think part two is much better. By all means, though as I said this is the same version as IBD already showed you. The Director's Cut is just this but with some stuff taken out here and there. Would like other people to review also, yeah, but given how I'm literally the very first person to use this particular tab on the forum I won't hold out much hope. As for Spyro... Well, looking at this story, I don't think I should judge.
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  4. Er yeah, I think they just passed along the main part of it, cause this is the first I’ve heard about a donut store. What’s that about? Yeah, though the events of the first chapter may put them off if they’re a big enough fan of her. I actually produced a sort of “director’s cut” version of this story not long after it was finished, to both make it less overtly pornographic, and to remove some of the parts I found didn’t fit so well going forward. Such as the end of this first chapter. It being the first thing written meant that when the story was finished, some three years later, what I was interested in focusing on in it had shifted a great deal. You’ll probably see what I mean as it goes on.
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  5. Latest Addition to the Holiday Canon <3 http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600109721
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  6. Actually it is just 1 prologue and 15 full length chapters. The final part is an epilogue that wrap up the meta story at the Inn and explain some story aspects to the regulars at the Inn, but it is rather short. Well...it was written for it to be kind of subtle while it happened to keep the tension up. The good thing with the story structure is that I get plenty of chances of review the readers of what has happened before (and to drop some very subtle clues in dialogue at the Inn). It is indeed quite some characters with plenty left to enter the fray. When I does the forum updates of me having finished yet another chapter I actually include a list of characters that will feature in the chapter. Not sure if any forum users cares enough to pay attention, but just maybe there might be somebody that likes to know if their favorite hero and bad guy might be up for a rematch in the new chapter. *Laughing*...if I ever get around to doing a parody of the story I will keep that imagine in mind. Part of the reason for me smiling is that your line made me start thinking about Terry Brooks that in every book/part-of-series introduce the kids of the previous generation and to a large degree they are pretty much the same characters over and over again. *smiles* Trickster indeed. Also a great way to show the reader the powers of his magic. Very much so, each of the Entaro siblings getting one of skills-set needed to combat the danger of Azbezil. A certain trickster might have bragged some about it before... It is intended that somebody with Duwlon’s aptitude is quite good at reading the situation and finding way to get people to talk. Him also being one of the best actors of the siblings also helps of course. They are very much Azbezil’s children, important prophecy stuff to fulfill and stuff like that...but there are a couple of chapters left until the heroes finds the prophecy itself. As for the nature of the story I think I have given the game away to so when I said that InBrightestWay might enjoy the story. The bad guys will have plenty of success overthe course of the story and the heroes will be subject to quite a bit of brutal experiences but at the end of the day it is a story about how heroes combat evil and grow from the experience. The fact that the story teller can tell the story on the Inn is also kind of giveaway that the worst possible outcomes for the story will not come true. That is clever interpretation...but no...the intention was more here that Tarben Agril is used to be on first name basis with his customers but have realized that if shall be able to pass his business to his children he need to use the Agril name for the business. *smiles* Trust that Zelak is very pissed about the development of the fight and wishing for a rematch. If you liked this fight I think you really will enjoy some of the later combats (mostly in parts I have sadly not manage to revise yet) Maybe fate did intervene here and made things happening... Elves fooling a dwarf is very hard in this setting. Without going too much into the mythology here each of the elemental races have an knack of spotting the magic of the other elemental races. Him being quiet here also helps them pinpoint him but it is mostly about their dwarven nature and him having elven blood. Revenge is dish best served cold...especially considering the timespan needed for me being able to revise chapter 6-15.
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  7. A delightful surprise to have two reviews of this story waiting for me, here is some review responses. That particular farmer was just used to allow me some foreshadowing at the end of the chapter, but there are more interruptions coming...some of them are meant to be funny. I like the observation about the father and his Inn grounding the story as a fantasy setting. Someday I should really figure out what adventure that gave him his name... Yep, he very much received what he deserved. The attack is of course unexpected, but it is mostly the attackers packing a very serious punch. I put the demons in this combat since I did not want the bad guy to show off his full potential in the prologue ofthe story, but the demons also wrap well into the future story. It is not until the actual heroes of the story enter the action in later chapters that kingdom get defenders that really take a stand in front of the badguys. To play fair I should probably also mention that when I revised the story I tightened up the prince’s dialogue quite a bit here based on feedback I have gotten over the years. In the original text it was not as cleverly done and was much easier to spot the plot twist in advance. Quite brutal, Ezame’s story arc does not start with any kind of feel-good vibes. As you have already read further chapters so you know that she will be around to impact the future plot even if there will be quite some time before she dare to do anything that makes impact on the more large scale plot. Good that you enjoyed it. This whole chapter started quite bare-bones with brushing over the same events without much detail...a reader prompted me that the lack of detail in the beginning was breaking stylewise from the rest of the story. This made me realize I needed to make it into a proper chapter. I can always reread some of your better stuff if I don’t find something old that catch my interest. As for the idea of doing review exchanges is not a rule or anything...more like a guideline.
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