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Showing content with the highest reputation on 11/14/2020 in all areas

  1. Don’t worry. It did not sound like any bemoaning, but just served as good place for me to place the “your story is good enough to get more reviews” comment. I don’t go around tallying reviews for authors that I enjoy reading...but I have been waiting for you checking chapter 13 of G.S.P. for quite a few months now. If we are speaking about other stuff I have written I would be interested to know what you think about The Tale About the Laughter of Azbezil (revised). Perhaps not a perfect fit for you since there are some non consensual scenes but the bad-stuff-happening-to-people count is way lower than for the G.S.P. story and the overall story is quite InBrighteestDay compatbile. I admit that I have read that I each chapter more than once...
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  2. Oh no that’s not what I meant! I appreciate that you think i deserve more reviews, but that was more of a “satisfied completion of task” thing than a “bemoaning too few reviews” thing. I know I’ve got reviews coming from at least one more person (maybe two), and after that it’ll be about sticking around, posting more stories and hoping people click on my “Stories Written” section Possibly. We might be tied. WitS has twelve chapters and you’ve reviewed all of them, while G.S.P. has thirteen chapters and I’ve reviewed twelve of them, though I will get that last one read (to avoid spoilers, I’ll just say I’m more than 1/3 but less than halfway through). Admittedly, if you’re tallying reviews for every story each of us has written, this gets more complicated...wait, why are we doing this as a competition? At any rate, I will get there. But first, time to respond to more reviews for the WitS finale! This one comes to us from @JayDee! It’s less than that, i guarantee it. I’m certain several hundred of those are me going in to have a chapter open as a reference when posting the next one (so I get everything formatted the same, make sure the disclaimer’s in the right place, etc.), checking to make sure the Author’s Note is right or just re-reading chapters to see if they’ve gotten worse since the last time I looked. Still, 2,800 or so ain’t bad. I’ll take your word for it. That’s yet another example of me catching something during the writing process. Originally, they were going to realize that Kevin was unguarded up there, and then just go up and get him, but then I realized that while there weren’t any traps on those floors, none of the PPD folks could know that, so it was much safer for them to stay where they were and for Kevin to be brought down after the battle was over. The property damage was sort of the inevitable follow-up to what was established way back in Whore of Heaven, where the reason the host can’t intervene because of the casualties that would result from a full-scale engagement. So I figured the armies of Heaven and Hell fighting all-out would pretty much destroy the Earth, similar to a nuclear war. So what’s the smaller version of that look like? I couldn’t allow it to go on too long (for reasons I’ll get to in the response to Thundercloud’s review), but I had to show at how much damage just one angel and demon were doing by themselves. I spent a while trying to come up with solid comebacks from Luzurial, but then in the end I realized it might be better if she didn’t even give it a response, and the more I thought about that, the more I liked it. The idea of the humans seeing her helping them, and them stepping up to help her, was all meant to build to the final moment, the “nuclear option” as you called it. See, this all goes back to something you said at one point when discussing the character and what happened 75 years prior. As you’ve explained, Kizzy would never have been trapped (well, not as completely as Luzurial), as she would have nuked the area and sacrificed Eparlegna’s prisoners for the greater good. it was only their bodies that would have been destroyed, after all But Luzurial, as you said, was just too nice. I spent quite a while thinking about that, wondering if there was a way for her to outgrow this weakness. Unfortunately, every time I came back to the same idea: that Luzurial would have to allow someone to die. And then it occurred to me that maybe this could be about realizing that some weaknesses shouldn’t be outgrown. Yes, the level of care Luzurial has for the mortals can be a weakness, but maybe it’s also a strength, and that was what I tried to show at the end, the moment of realization and acceptance that allows her all the way back to full power, where she can use Divine Fire. I picked moments where her treatment of humans was paid back, essentially, and in this chapter I showed how a mortal champion (Sister Milyn) and then National guard forces all rallied around her, epitomized by their brief bit of fighting together (Luzurial puts up a barrier to protect them, and then the moment she drops it everyone opens fire). Thank you so much! I loved your description of her glowing eyes in WoH (“the suddenly glowing maelstrom of her eyes”), and I wanted something that was at least a little like that, so the idea of the core of a star came up, and that was about the best I could do. So, fun fact, the line Lucifer has there is taken from something Loki says in The Avengers, where he orders the people of Stuttgart to kneel. They hesitate, and he kind of loses it a bit: “I said...KNEEEL!!!” His loss of control there is, I think, indicative of his status as the bad guy of the story, but ultimately not the overarching villain, as even back then, Thanos was being hinted at as the man behind Loki. Here, Lucifer is in his element and remains in control, and we get just a hint of his shifting emotions with the weird effect on his voice. I mean, I might have come up with a gag for Kevin and his handily expendable leg… And yeah, I loved the kissing too, as well as the way she’s basically excited for Kevin to see her wings for the first time. Luzurial’s explanation of why she wants to continue her relationship with Kevin are a continuation of the beat from Part Ten, and sort of my thoughts on action heroes and heroines and their significant others. It does seem to be important to the drama that the love interest not be completely removed from the central conflict of the story, but at the same time I feel like it really ought to be ok for a combat-capable character to have a non-combatant love interest. It makes writing the story a bit trickier, but I do think it should be seen as something permissible. So, JayDee knows this, but for those who don’t, there were two endings for this story. The first one, which I thought of as the Patience ending, was where Luzurial could come back to see Kevin again, but only to spend a little time with him, and to let him know that he would have to wait; to live a good life and do the work he needed to do here, and then, when the time finally came, she would be waiting for him at the gate. I love stories about people who are willing to wait a lifetime for each other, but it was definitely a bittersweet ending. The second ending, which I called the Sunrise ending, was the one you see here, where Luzurial is granted the right to visit Earth every year and spend a day with Kevin. This was less bittersweet, and it also left the door open for possible future stories, where Luzurial is visiting Kevin, something preternatural happens and she gets drawn into it. JayDee and I were talking via email, and they said something about kind of not wanting to see Luzurial and Kevin broken up, and that, along with the possibility of future stories, was what nudged me toward settling on the Sunrise ending. I don’t know exactly how much free time I’ll have to write everything, but I will absolutely continue writing, and thank you again for everything.
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  3. well that was interesting! wonder if lilo will transform into a experiment? hope so!
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  4. I’ve just posted chapter 1 of the new Lilo & Stitch story, titled “Biological Imperative.”
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  5. To my own surprise, it looks like the next thing I'll post will be chapter 1 of my non-canon-compatible Lilo &Stitch story. FYI, all consent in that story will be dubious at best.
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  6. That sounded very depressing...I hope you will get more reviews after all your hard work. There is a reason the final battle of stories usually include quite much fighting. As for the matter of action...I actually think you peaked there in chapter 10. The Woman in Statue is bound to end with an epic duel given the groundwork of JayDee, but the real action IMHO happens on the way up in the actual “dungeon”. I think you did a good job with this. Her reflection there increase the tension of the final battle. It is very much the best line. The others are not even close...”My name is” for instance suffers from interference with far too many songs and movies. I have done my review for the final chapter so now you know the answer. I look forward at hearing your thoughts about my stuff...I think I am ahead of you in the number of reviews by quite a few now.
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