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Showing content with the highest reputation on 01/23/2019 in all areas

  1. Don’t worry about it. I was not expecting lots of sex and in many aspects the best erotic scenes are the ones when the story makes the sex count so to say.
    2 points
  2. The discord server was moved. I realised keeping it open to anyone was a mistake. As much as I want it to be active, I want even more for it to be a safe place for AFF users. It is now invite only. So for anyone who’s interested in joining us, DM me on discord! I’ll update the post on the great wall of… forum.
    2 points
  3. I keep reviews this length up, I’ll be writing more in them than I did in Whore of Heaven. The comforting works really well too. I mean, that little hand squeeze back… d’aww. That episode where she has to act like the Doctor, (because in story his program was inside her implants I think it was) she nailed his mannerisms and expressions. That was some fantastic acting there. And if I was writing the story somebody would pull it out and show it to him. Bwa ha ha ha! etc No, I kid, I kid. Maybe. I’ve always said yes when anyone’s asked. How could I not like it? The quality of the writing is amazing! The story is great, simply brilliant. I was really happy to see you get a couple of other reviews straight off the bat too. Hopefully there will be many more to come if folks give it a chance. I bet they’ll love the heck out of that incest fic too (and the Spider one!) I kind of want to write a story called Something and make it a total WAFF piece and then people can say “I read something by JayDee and it was so waffy.” I’m taking a compliment here - thanks for liking my writing style! It’s so fucking great you got around to this, can’s stress that enough! I love it!
    2 points
  4. There is a chat app called discord. It’s completely free. You don’t even need to download anything – it can be used in your browser! This server is a place for writers of erotica original and fan fiction to help each other out. We have: An inclusive, supportive community Prompts Help Channels Voice Chat Frequent games and events We’d love to see you there! https://discord.gg/TSpn8kUtKs
    1 point
  5. Fair enough! Thank you again, anyway. Wonderful reviews. I guess I got lucky with putting enough elements in there to bulk ‘er out. I’ll probably still keep thinking 1D or 1.5D at best, but it’s worth noting that I am pretty convinced that most of what I ever wrote was terrible. Something’s getting sheathed in Part Nine and it isn’t sexual? I kid! I kid!… No, absolutely though, can’t be forced. Some of it appears on the screen and it was like it was never in my brain at all. It just appears, sometimes with an echo of mocking laughter in the darkness of my hindbrain. Heh. Shakespeare humor. Should I ever need to write another angel of similar build I’m definitely going to have this math in mind. If nothing else I feel like writing a sex scene someday with a character with wings. Besides Spyro the fuckin’ dragon. I bet it’s gonna be epic. Always happy to get any review! Even flames And she was ok! It just took 75 years in universe and 11 years outside. Some kinda relative time Narnia thing going on there. “Ugh,” muttered Eparlegna, as he looked upon he mess he had made of his mother “I thought she smelled bad on the outside.” Wait, no, that’s Star Wars. Eparlegna burst out, looked down at the hole he had made and began to sing, “ Hello my baby, hello my honey Hello my ragtime-” Wait, no that’s Spaceballs. “Hey, who wants to eat the placenta?” Wait, no that’s hippies. Huh. I’ll stop now on rule of three before you decline to ever speak to me again. It may already be too late. Well, she could be allowed to escape, so long as she got raped again in the next part. They’d probably have been ok with that. I think you’re right that a lot of those readers were pretty much there for the Archangel violation (Back when someone pasted it to the old old gurochan site they even loaded it under the title “Angel Violation”, possibly because there technically isn’t any whoring in it. Some perverts are very keen on semantics.) I said Deathstalker could have done it, I didn’t say he always does :p The guy is paid by the word! Also, I’ll glare at anybody who says his version of Rebecca Chambers with a cute penis isn’t canon. LALALA I don’t want to hear it! Eh, I probably could have been a bit more explicit about it though in the warning. Some of my later stories have stronger allcaps warnings at the start. Oh well, I’m sticking with the “At least we got The Woman in the Statue” out of it. Yeah, going with this Happy ending! I do have that reputation as a monster to uphold! I mean, it was moist eyes rather than outright crying, like in part 1 feeling bad for her in the hospital with that my name is whore bit. Total hypocrisy I suppose. Well thanks to you, the one mortal able to do for her what needed to be done, that ending is reconned down to 75 years! I mean, still 75 years where every second hurts like eternity, but it’s better than a poke in the womb with a sharp dick as Eparlegna likes to say. To be fair it’s that long in our universe. Once life has ceased in the WoH universe the creator might have hit fast forward and got to Judgement Day in only a few trillion years. I always thought so. They got another song “Vampire Punk Rockers from Hell” that also feels like it could inspire a pretty good story too.
    1 point
  6. I’ve got another story or two of yours I want to review, but after that I may check it out. In regards to the “birthing” scene, I wrote this moment in The Woman in the Statue… No joke, that’s literally based on my thoughts as I read the birthing scene all those years ago: “She’s okay, she can heal, she’s okay, she can heal, she’s okay she can heal she’s okay she can heal she’sokayshecanheal!” I mention that because… If you had made a joke after the birthing scene, I would have reached through the computer and slapped you. Don’t tell me it’s physically impossible; I’d have found a way. You keep saying that, but consider this. First, you explained why her abilities didn’t work; the chains are enchanted, so they can be heated up to 6,000 kelvins without vaporizing (6,000 K – glowing white – is almost twice the boiling point of iron), and even as they start to do so, they can be renewed. It feels unfair and sad for me, but damnit, the target audience came here to see this woman be raped; she can’t be allowed to escape in a badass manner! Second, no offense to Deathstalker, but he is not above doing something like this. The fic of his I read where I first discovered what “snuff” meant had Jill Valentine getting shot in the head while involved in a gangbang with three Umbrella mercenaries. “Why was she involved in a gangbang with three UBCS members?” one might ask. Well, upon discovering that the cable car needs parts, instead of saying (paraphrased) “Well, I guess we need to go scavenging for parts now,” like she does during this exact scene in Resident Evil 3, Jill says (paraphrased) “Well, I guess we’re all going to die soon. You guys want to fuck?” OoC strikes when you most expect it. So yeah, this is just part of the genre. Hey, it’s not your fault. Tags can be vague (MCD might mean Snuff, or it might just be that the main villain dies), and there are some things the author can’t tell you without explicitly spoiling the ending, which is generally bad form. That’s probably true. If we got to see the day when she was finally freed, or when that coating finally disintegrated (more on that later), I still would have felt very bad for Luzurial, but with some reassurance that she would be okay, I probably wouldn’t have wanted to write my little therapy project. I know I made you cry once (the car scene), but that was the only one I was aware of. You’re going to have to call these moments out in the reviews. That aspect of the tragedy was not lost on me; it adds quite a bit to how much I feel for her. Similar to how we’ve all done something that made us look and feel really stupid, I think we’ve all tried to fix a problem at some point and accidentally worsened it. I even had Luzurial mention that in Part Six, when Kevin tries to apologize for...interfering. Oooooooh that might have just made it so much worse You see, I figured she was suffering horribly in there until star formation stopped and they all burned out, and then Judgment Day happened and some of her friends let her out, but if entropy does it, if the coating just disintegrates naturally...that would require the nucleons to break down, which assuming minimum proton half-life would take 2 trillion trillion trillion years (2 x 1036). I can only assume that after none of her friends let her out and that happened, she would probably spend at least the next half a billion years curled into a fetal position crying. I need to go write in Kevin giving her another hug now… You know, that actually sounds kind of cool.
    1 point
  7. I’ll try, but I’m not going to be able to pull off detailed analysis of everything I read (heck, I wasn’t able to do that with a lot of your stuff). But given how much of an impact this story had on me, I kind of wanted to try to explain why it makes me feel the things it makes me feel. Furthermore, you’ve said that you wrote Luzurial as a one-dimensional character, and I keep feeling like I wouldn’t have bonded so tightly to a one-dimensional character, so the first chapter review is in large part a sort of essay on why Luzurial endeared herself to me as much as she did. TL;DR, you drew, at the worst, a two-dimensional sketch that implies a three dimensional character. In my experience, it’s not really something you can force. I had certain descriptions pop into my head that sounded kind of neat (the “coruscating wall of red fire” from the Room 502 fight, the clouds “painting the city purple-red with unholy luminescence” in Part Eight, and the phrase “sheathed in a nimbus of incandescent plasma” from Part Nine, which I haven’t even gotten to yet) and I try to write them down, or at least remember them long enough to do so. I forgot to mention this in the reviews, but in Part Two when he did the “Alas poor Yolanda” bit, I actually rolled my eyes. Eparlegna’s more threatening than Dreneparssa will ever be, but they’re definitely related. The size of the circle was really only something I ended up focusing on because I was trying really hard to look for clues on Luzurial’s wingspan. There was the realistically huge Argentavis magnificens/Pelagornis sandersi wingspan of 5.09 to 7.4 meters (17-24 feet), but the wings aren’t supposed to be realistically huge, which is why I was trying to figure out the holy circle for a minimum size. Minimum diameter on the circle is probably something like 2 meters (6.56 feet), since the dome has to have some room above her head, and it would explain how the confinement was so tight she couldn’t dodge the chains in Part Three...but then her wings end up looking absurdly small rather than absurdly huge. I ended up going with a figure where each wing is 1.25 times her height, giving her a wingspan of 4.57 meters (15 feet), which led me to think that perhaps the dome was somewhere in the vicinity of 3 meters (about 10 feet) in diameter. And no, I’m not at that point in the story yet. I just wanted to figure this out ahead of time.
    1 point
  8. Thanks for the review! I’m glad the story is moving at a good pace for you so far, and hopefully I can keep it up. Exposition is a difficult thing, and I tried to find places where characters could naturally end up bringing it up. Chloe’s nervousness at possibly being in trouble with IA, which often prompts people to go motormouth, was one way to do that, and I tried to manage some similar situations in other chapters. As for the erotic elements, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but there’s not a lot of sex in this story. There’s a slowly developing bond between Kevin and Luzurial, which does eventually pay off, but given what she’s been through, I felt like having anything happen early on would come across like him taking advantage of her. There is also a scene in Part Three involving a minor character (notice the “Tent” tag on this story), but I’m not sure how well I managed to write it. Again, thank you so much for your support thus far, and in spite of how light on sex the story generally is, I hope you continue to enjoy it!
    1 point
  9. JayDee

    Spam review

    Sounds like non spam reviews tbh. Thanks for deleting!
    1 point
  10. 1 point
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