You!: 5, aka The One Where I Couldn’t Think Of A Title That Fit
...That doesn't mean there's nothing funny in this chapter! There's a certain amusing (to me) irony that the main character, who turns out to be black and had that bit about Tarzan back in Chapter 1, immediately assumes that the white girl is the angel.
Thank you for ths review also! I went with that purely on rule of funny. And at least he noticed Kizzy’s serenity and probably started to assume before getting a faceful of Shannon being Shannon.
Kizzy’s attractive – The sheriff in Blood on the Hay found her pretty enough – but she’s wearing a Star Trek t-shirt and Docs and all businss at that moment, while Shannon has the simple white dress, the halo-like hair and the stunning smile and the rest. Plus I did just think it was funny
I love that whole thing. The image of the void before the Big Bang, her inhuman nature but also her basic goodness, just all of it.
Thank you! I think with Kizzy, I tended to view her as having been quite seperated from humanity before she came down on Earth and so she’s ended up ‘living’ her chosen disguise personality (which she presumably had some help constructing) more than. say, an Archangel might, while still being the Seraph underneath. I dunno, there’s probably other stuff where I contradicted that. I do that a lot.
Also, I really like how those lines came out too. Not my worst writing for sure!
Also, that was funny.
Thank you!
Yeah, I see what you’re getting at. I guess Tyrone made the right choice rather than trying to fight or run, or side with Sarsa, although Lupa might be somewhat less happy once her thirst subsides slightly. That’s why I! would start with her chapter.
They had a word limit of 1000 words when I originally started doing the prompts, but this was removed later on. I stuck with it for You! partly for continuity and partly because I was having a great deal of trouble finishing anything and it felt like an achievable limit. Absolutely it could do with a longer and more detailed ending, especially as Tyrone would have enjoyed a few rounds with Shannon before dying, but I think I just about justified it by him deciding Sarsa needed to be sent to Hell quickly, and Lupa being really thirsty. I mean, not really, but close enough.
Thank you one final time for the reviews on You! I like how it turned out overall and so I’m glad you and others did too.