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That’s a good way to look at it. Just don’t front load. The last sentence of a story is immeasurably more important than the first. It’s a bad thing to turn the reader away at the begining. But, and I can attest to this, the worst thing you can do is end your book in such a way as to make the reader regret the time spent reading.. The first , the reader will think it’s just no their kinda of story and move on to something else. the latter , they get emotionally invested and follow page after page only to be met with a disappointing ending. Imagine if Tolkien had ended The Hobbbit with the whole adventure being just a dream in a sleeping Bilbo’s mind My own point of view is that you should give the reader an honest picture of what kind of story they’re in for so they can opt out.

Here, I’ll post replies to any reviews of “The Loud House After Dark.”

At the top of this thread, and every search thread, you’ll find the following message: It’s not window dressing. We do not, and will not allow requests for hard copies of stories which have been removed.

From Fairy-Slayer on July 02, 2017 This was wonderfully sexy, and I thoroughly enjoyed this tale, and on a few levels: First, the narrative style was a pleasure, just imagining Lucy Loud quietly showing us around the hidden places where we could see all of the hidden secrets. You used her voice very well, and it worked well against the rest of the narration, which was a comfortable tone for action and "camera movement." It was like a sexy Twilight Zone thing going on, plus one or two cute little quirks. This story was a really fun experiment. Using the first-person-plural perspective was something I’d never even thought of trying before this, and your feedback really helped me refine it. And having Lucy narrate worked out well because she can say some fairly non-age-appropriate things without their seeming out of character. Those brief openers were pretty much all we needed to get fully up to speed on each rendezvous as they began and slowly unfolded. Each segment was a good dose of story on its own yet still helped build up to the final climax of each tryst. Plus they were all sweet to downright cute (especially Lynn's bad acting, the conscientious tentacle monster, the Luanisms, and the twins being different by minutes and different by inches). Even better, it was in-character the whole way. It didn't feel like we were getting pulled away every time it started to get good – we got to savor every tasty bite from the smorgasbord of underage incestuous lust. I’m very glad to hear that, because I was a little concerned about readers feeling like they might be missing some of the good parts (which wasn’t my intent at all). (Come to think of it, that would be the best Old Country Buffet EVER!) I don’t think we have Old Country Buffet where I live. Underage incestuous lust, on the other hand… The "happiest moments" were all terrifically satisfying, especially with an extra boost from Lucy's breathy whispers to go along with each. Yet even after all the sexy action and learning each character's secret (even about how it's basically in their genes), having Lucy make sure we see the pure love and affection they share was the icing on the cake. You know I love a happy ending. After the, uh, other happy ending. The only other thing I'll throw out there is that Lisa seemed to have a second secret, though perhaps it really just ties into that one best overall secret. Maybe that's foreshadowing… or maybe I'm just reading way too much into it (I'll hold back on saying what it is to see if it's really just me, but I will say that I absolutely loved every second of it.) Are you talking about her affection for Lovecraft? As I wrote her part of the story, I had a half-baked idea that Lisa expresses her fondness for him in their private sessions because she’s not yet ready to express affection to actual human beings in that way. Anyway, thanks for another fantastic and wonderfully erotic tale. And thank you for the beta, and another gratifying review.

Thank you!

Hello everyone. Been awhile since I have been here. Just got back home to celebrate my 37th wedding anniversry. Also hope everyone has a great fourth of July. And yes please let everyone know what Steve's condition is and did he really go out on another mission. I stated I was not and the next thing I know I was on two. So much for retirement. Now have to get the wife kind to me again. Wish me luck. Ha ha. Will talk later.

Thanks!

A few author’s notes about “Hot Yoga”: I deliberately wrote it to be different from my previous Phineas and Ferb fanfics in a couple of ways: It is light on plot and very heavy on porn. It features only B-list characters. (Stacy is the only arguable A-lister in the bunch, but I consider her an A-minus-lister at most because she doesn't appear in every episode of P&F.) Even though I wrote about a dozen Phineas and Ferb fics before this one, some of the characters in “Hot Yoga” don't appear in any of my previous stories (Dr. Hirano, Monty Monogram, Balthazar Horowitz, Melanie), and others make only brief appearances (Jenny, Coltrane). This is the first time I've ever written a full-on orgy. Although I've written stories involving threesomes, or multiple couples having sex at the same time, I had never before written about a group of people who all have sex with one another in various ways and combinations. Making this work required a huge amount of outlining -- not only to keep track of who was doing what with whom, but also to time events such that characters would be ready to switch partners at the right moment. Dr. Hirano has no first name in canon. I considered giving her one for the sake of this story, but given how many characters are involved, I didn't want to give readers one more thing to keep track of throughout the story. So the character is simply referred to as “Dr. Hirano” throughout. I kept the ratio of male to female characters low because, given that the incense seems to induce bisexuality along with horniness, I didn't want to have to do a lot of plot-gymnastics to avoid having any guy-on-guy action. Not that I never write that sort of thing, but for whatever reason, I'm generally only comfortable writing it for furry characters. Also, judging from the people who comment on my P&F stories, the readership seems to be entirely male and mostly straight, so I don't think many people were reading “Hot Yoga” in the hope of seeing some Monty-Coltrane action, anyway. That said, there was a time or two when I was writing this story when I wanted a female character to take on two or three guys at once, and I found myself muttering, “Damn it, there's not enough dicks to go around.” Overall, though, I'm pretty happy with the results. I hope y'all were, too.

Glad you enjoyed “Hot Yoga.” I’ve never watched Johnny Test. It’s not still on the air, is it?

For anyone who is following this story, I just posted the fourth and final chapter this morning.

Here, I’ll post responses to any reviews that my Miraculous (Ladybug) story “Miss Match” might receive.

First, my apologies for the lateness of this reply. I did write a response, but somehow either I never posted it or I deleted it by accident. In any case, onward! From Jomahawk2694 on May 20, 2017 Okay, I clearly need to watch more of that sort of thing. You know me so well. Given that this was my first Miraculous story, I wanted to stick to the show's formula as much as possible, because that's part of the challenge and the fun. Plus, having a structure to work with gives me direction in writing the plot. Good one! The formula for fights on that show seems to involve lots of leaping around and very little actual violence, so I went with that. You make a good point. I couldn't really think of what to do with Miss Match after she bound the two heroes together, so I just had her standing there watching. Your idea might be better. I'll do my best. Thanks for another motivational review! P.S. I think I’ve just figured out what the problem was with my original reply: The forum software won’t let me post a message that has a “thumbs up” icon in it. I probably didn’t notice the error message when I first tried to post and then logged out without confirming that the reply had posted.

I don’t generally like to age up characters. I feel like, if I wanted to write fanfic about of-age characters, then I would pick some who are already of age in canon. (Come to think of it, Milo’s mom is awfully hot...) That said, there could be some interesting time-travel stuff with the young characters’ future selves. More food for thought.

There are actually three chapters posted already. I estimate that the fourth and final chapter will be ready to post in about two weeks. Glad you’re enjoying it!

The trouble is, the characters are still going to act like themselves in those situations. If Zach or Melissa lose their clothes, they’re just going to hide behind the nearest curtain, trash can, or pistachio cart until somebody gives them something to wear—probably Milo, who will have a spare change of clothes, rain poncho, and/or radiation suit in his backpack. As for heroic rescue, are you talking about the “You saved me, how about some thank-you sex?” scenario? If so, same basic problem: I can’t really see these characters getting it on without some really far-out reason. Now there’s always the “strange foreign substance that makes you horny and/or uninhibited” device, which could easily come about if Milo’s bad luck causes the wrong two trucks full of chemicals to crash. But I feel like I’ve kind of been there and done that with “Whoops” and “Hot Yoga.” One thought occurs, though: The one other potential source of plot devices on MML besides Murphy’s Law itself is all the time travel that goes on. I will think on this.

You could have some accident strip clothes off of characters or there's the "heroic rescue" plot line. I know, not the most original ideas in the world, but still they work.

An addendum to my reply to Nautiscaraider's comments: One of the chief reasons why I haven't taken a crack at writing a Milo Murphy's Law fic is that MML doesn't have a handy plot-driving (or smut-driving, if I'm honest) mechanism like Phineas and Ferb, Miraculous, or The Loud House have. I'm not sure how to make anything sexy come out of Milo's disaster-magnetism. Plus, the kids on MML actually act like kids; they show little of the precocity that characterizes a lot of the young characters on the other shows, which makes it more difficult to believably portray them doing anything sexual. I might have an idea for a short, non-lemony MML story, though.

I thought folks might enjoy seeing some author notes about “Whoops”: “Whoops” contains the longest continuous sex scene I've ever written. This was not my original plan; I had intended to gloss over some of the encounters and focus on others. But in the course of writing the story, I couldn't bring myself to shortchange any of the Loud sisters (except Lily, but most readers are probably okay with that). In the original draft of chapter 1, I had Lisa say that the menstrual cycles of women who live together tend to synchronize (something even my wife believed was true). But Fairy Slayer, who betaed “Whoops” for me, pointed out that that's a myth, so I rewrote Lisa's dialogue as appropriate. (This was not the first time that FS pointed out a scientific inaccuracy in one of my stories; he also noted a fallacious statement about black holes and Hawking radiation in “Dark Dreams, Forbidden Fantasies.”) The idea to make Lisa's comment “I can do a lot of things” a recurring line also came from Fairy Slayer. The “Amazinger T action figures” that Lincoln plans to leave to Clyde in chapter 2 are a reference to the Mazinger Z manga, anime, and toys from the 1970s. (I included this line because Lincoln seems to have a fondness for toy robots.) Boyz Will Be Boyz, whose members’ voices Lisa uses to lure the other girls away from Lincoln's door, is the band from Lori's first concert in the episode “For Bros About to Rock.” Lincoln uses a different position with each of his sisters: Lori, cowgirl; Leni, missionary; Luna, on their sides; Luan, sixty-nine; Lynn, various (as they wrestle for who will be on top); Lucy, sitting on Lincoln's lap; Lana, reverse cowgirl; Lola, sitting on the dresser; and Lisa, doggystyle. Lincoln's discovery that Lucy has blue eyes was a cheat on my part, because on The Loud House, none of the characters’ eyes have irises -- just pupils and whites. This style of drawing eyes was also used in Gravity Falls. Lisa's comment that “most lagomorphs do not have an estrous cycle” (in response to Lana shouting “Fuck my butthole! Fuck it like a jackrabbit in heat!”) came to me because of a Zootopia fanfic I had read in which Judy Hopps goes into heat. At the time, I thought, “Rabbits don't do that, do they?” so I looked it up, and indeed, they do not. Rather, female rabbits ovulate whenever they have intercourse, which is how they can crank out so many little rabbits. The lordosis reflex that Lisa mentions in chapter 6 is a behavior common among mammalian species, in which the female gets into a sway-backed body posture in preparation for intercourse. Humans don't actually have this reflex, but given both Lisa's substantial experience with lab animals and her desire to have sex “in the fashion commonly associated with Canis familiaris,” I figured she might enjoy including it as role-play. In chapter 6, when the girls start to freak out upon realizing that they didn't use any birth control when they had sex with Lincoln, Lisa replies that “There's no need for hysterics.” This is a bit of word play on Lisa's part, as the word hysterics comes from the Greek word hystera, meaning “uterus.” My initial reason for making Pythagoras a mouse (rather than a rat, which, to my mind, seems like a more appropriate subject for a study of intelligence) was that there was going to be this bit of dialogue at the end between Lincoln and Lisa: “So, how did your project with Pythagoras turn out?” “I'm afraid the experiment had to be terminated. The research ethics committee wouldn't approve it, on the grounds that hyper-intelligent laboratory mice always try to take over the world.” As amusing as this Pinky and the Brain reference might have been, the implied killing of Pythagoras seemed like too much of a downer for the ending of this light-hearted fic, so I didn't include it. Finally, if you liked this story, stay tuned: I've got a new fic in the works titled The Loud House After Dark.

Thank you! And thanks for your review in the archive, too. Yes, the way that magic works in the Miraculous universe gives pervy fanfic writers like myself a lot of room to twist things up without violating the basic premises of the show. I would very much like to write a Milo Murphy’s Law fic. I’m just waiting for the right idea to come to me.

Lovely story! I have been reading your stories for quite some time, and while I don’t dig all of them – especially with the, shall we say, risque elements, like incest – I always admired you how well can you write an adult story in the cartoon universe. And this one works as well, as the others. The villains in ML act like -inators in PnF, they are all-purpose plot devices, which you use brilliantly to spice things up. And since I have the chance to speak to you, are you planning on writing any fics about Milo Murphy’s Law, the new show from the creators of PnF?

Thank you! Being faithful to the characters is always a top priority for me. I tried to make this story as much like an episode of the show as I could (partly by including all of the typical elements: an akumatized villain, the use of the heroes’ powers like Cataclysm and Lucky Charm, etc). I think that helped me make the dialogue sound genuine, because the characters were in a kind of situation that they often encounter on the show (albeit with an erotic twist). For example, it was easy to think of what Cat Noir might say to taunt the villain, because taunting villains is kind of his thing. I only write fanfic about shows with which I'm very familiar, because I’m kind of compulsive about getting the characters right. And because speaking in their voices is part of what makes writing fanfic so much fun. Thanks for the review!

Either way, I'm extremely flattered. Thank you!

Well, I did say "most". I didn't exactly count so I'm not 100% on just how much I've read. Then again, I have been at it for quite some time now...

Wow. I’ve written more than 70 stories; you must be a voracious reader! And I’m astounded that there’s only one that you disliked.

Well, I guess I'll see how it turns out. I've read practically all of your work and have disliked exactly one. Somehow, I seriously doubt you'll disappoint. It'll be fun watching the Kwami try to explain why they never told Adrien or Marinette the truth.

That's the idea; it's such aberrant behavior that it makes Tikki and Plagg realize that something is wrong. They're such complete opposites in personality and they way they interact with their humans, it seems likely that they wouldn't get along.

You know, that explains a lot, especially in some of the stories I've read. Ah France, we must not forget that you and we are different in our ways. In any case, the idea is solid, I'm just not sure it fits Adrien and Marinette. As head over heels for each other as they are, neither really seems the obsessive sort. I do love the Tikki and Plagg not liking each other idea. Gives reason to most of their reactions, especially why neither ever tells their human who their amatus really is.

The basic idea is that although Marinette and Adrien don’t remember what happened, they are still affected by it on a subconscious level. Tikki and Plagg, who do remember what happened (and who, we discover, don’t like each other very much), have to get together to find a way for the two teenagers to resolve their issues before Marinette’s infatuation with Adrien and Cat Noir’s with Ladybug evolve into dangerous obsession. Interesting side note: Although the Marinette and Adrien are described as being in 10th grade in the English-language dub of the show, “college” (how do I type an accent mark in this thing?) in France is actually more like middle school, where most students are 11-15 years old. (Thanks, Wikipedia!) So I think of the characters as being about 15.

I do not mind in the least. Fair is fair after all. Since we talked about your concept for Miss Matched I must admit I've been getting more into the series and fanfiction. I stand by what I said the first time though. While the story is good the writing is just too childish. That's why I've been sticking to reading for the most part. I particularly like the stories that, like yours, focus on more mature elements befitting highschool students. What did you have in mind?

If you don’t mind me asking, what did you like about the story? To answer your question, I made “Miss Match” a one-shot because I wanted it to follow the formula of a typical episode of the show. That meant, among other things, making it a self-contained story. That said, I do have an idea for a sequel story.

Thank you! Lisa Loud is my role model. The fact that there's a mad scientist in the family, along with the advantages of cartoon logic, were among the main reasons why I decided that doing a Loud House porn story was a good idea. Plus, so many sisters... I've never even heard of it. I'll have to look into it. In writing fanfics, I always try to include what seem to be the essential elements of the show--and then put a porny spin on them, of course. Lana's a fun character to write. Wow, high praise! You know, assuming that you meant literally-literally and not Lori-literally. It's totally fun! It's like being able to play with another kid's toys. Like, a kid from a way better neighborhood. Thanks so much for the review!