JayDee

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Status Updates posted by JayDee

  1. Doctors advise that any participants of No Nut November who reach the stage where “50 Shades of Grey” becomes arousing should seek release immediately.

  2. I feel like Wet Ass-Pussy is a term that’s appeared in some of the more anatomically improbable yaoi works.

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. JayDee

      JayDee

      The Great Mystery of the Self-Lubricating Anus. Does often appear in stories in when Men are Impregnated and Ass Babies are delivered with all due ceremony. Like that one I never got around to writing where Gabriel was distracted by a demon on his way to give his message, got extremely drunk talking about old pre-fall times, and ended up giving his message to Joseph instead. I mean, definite proof of a miracle there.

    3. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      I’m assuming its part wish fulfillment cause lube needs to enter the equation at some point.

    4. JayDee

      JayDee

      Never mind the equation, it needs to enter the asshole!

  3. I have progressed from starting stories and not finishing them to not starting stories. Well, ok, regressed then. Which is a shame as the next unfinished one would have been about a guy finding out his Mom had a twin after finally meeting the rest of the family (after his Mom’s falling out before he was born). It’d have been dead pervy as there’d be an attraction on both sides.

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. JayDee

      JayDee

      One thing there is, is time!

    3. GeorgeGlass

      GeorgeGlass

      I second Thundercloud’s suggestion of writing the middle of the story. That’s usually my process: I write the scene that I have best figured out first, regardless of where in the story it happens. The other stuff comes eventually.

    4. JayDee

      JayDee

      It sounds like an option! If I can get the motor ticking over again I’ll maybe give it a try. Thanks guys!

  4. *Thoughtfully chewing and swallowing*

    “Right, right… I meant to order Feta cheese not futa cheese.”

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. JayDee

      JayDee

      Heck if I know. I may be corrupted but I was never a champion.

    3. InBrightestDay

      InBrightestDay

      Is it weird for me to think “that’s a very JayDee thing to write”? :D

    4. CloverReef

      CloverReef

      Weird? Yes. Accurate? Also yes. 

  5. Forum activity notification “ TheBossMan started following Naruto “ and I just thought fuck me, these wrestling PPVs are getting out of hand.

  6. Happy *checks note* New Year!

    1. BronxWench

      BronxWench

      A very happy New Year, and may it bring only good things! :hug: :cheers::party::happykitten::beer:

  7. Who says nothing good ever happens to me? I’ve been invited to take part in an ancient local midwinter ritual to ensure the sun returns next year! The only downside is nobody wants to make plans for anything past the ritual date now, and apparantly I’ll have to lie on some cold stone for a bit.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      Okay, just hear me out. Just in case of anything unexpected going down.

      If you see the styx. Take a left and there should be a delightful beachouse. The password is “My soul belongs to Invidiared” If you see someone in a boat asking for payment you’ve  gone a tad too far. Also avoid the pomegranate pie

    3. BronxWench

      BronxWench

      I adore you all… just saying! :wub:

    4. Strange_idea

      Strange_idea

      The dogs are easily distracted by fetch, but only only you throw the stick directly at them. Only way to get them all involved.

  8. Managed to write 400 words today for the first time in ages. And worked in two of those week 210 straight from Hell prompts with an idea on using the last still. This is nothing for y’all NaNoWriMo folks or even just regular folks, but it felt good to me! Now just gotta finish, and polish.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. JayDee

      JayDee

      Buckets of the stuff. A thirst that cannot be slaked, but sometimes she slumbers. Fingers crossed she nods off so I can finish this without a forensic biologist getting his sternum tugged out.

    3. GeorgeGlass

      GeorgeGlass

      Congrats! 

      As for the xiphoid, you could have written a story about CPR. Just sayin’.

    4. JayDee

      JayDee

      Fuck, that’s a good thought. Thank you! Might just have to use it for the non-bloody ending!

      HOW D’YA LIKE THEM APPLES, LAMIA MUSE?

       

  9. Saw someone complain that women characters only ever get written to the Virgin, Mother or Whore archtypes. It’s a fair point about poor characterisation and representation in a lot of media. I am glad to see I avoided that by managing Virgin, Mother, Whore and Lupa.

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. InBrightestDay

      InBrightestDay

      I agree that just writing the archetypes makes for poor characterization, but personally I think you’ve done a good enough job, at least when it comes to Kizzy, Shannon and the gang, that they exist as more than just the archetypes.  Heck, while the Hecate Sisters are the best fit (Shannon is the Maiden, Kizzy is the Mother and Lupa is the Crone) Kate doesn’t even have an archetype she lines up with.

    3. JayDee

      JayDee

      “This is Shannon. She’s our maiden.”

      “Just ignore Kate and Lupa. They’ll be rolling around laughing for the next 10 minutes or so.”

    4. GeorgeGlass

      GeorgeGlass

      Hey, I’ve been writing the underserved Loli archetype since before it was cool. :)

  10. Me: “I’m gonna read and review one halloween fic a day from the AFF halloween party!”

    Sudden real world stuff taking up free time: “Bend the fuck over JD.”

    ...fuck, hope I can read another one tomorrow at least!

  11. Looking at the next weekly prompts in dribs/drabs:

    Week 209 “Do-able! DG sure came up with interesting some fun stuff! Should manage to finally finish slumber party with these!”

    Week 210 “I yearn for the cold embrace of death to release me from the horrific pain of existence. All is suffering.”

    Week 211 “Ooh Christmassy!”

  12. The latest firefox update has added “firefox monitor” that gives a notification message about adultfanfiction and a data breach in 2018. Hopefully won’t deter too many users!

    1. Show previous comments  11 more
    2. InBrightestDay

      InBrightestDay

      Quote

      Maybe the reason I’m convinced there’s no nasty people on the forum is that I am the nasty person.

      No you’re not.  I’ve given you a lot of opportunities to make jokes at my expense or insult me, and you haven’t done so.  As for accidental awkwardness, I do that all the time.

      Speaking of which…

      Quote

      I’ll also say that the majority by far of the “Oh, gods, delete my account now, man!” emails I got were from readers only, not writers.

      I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to annoy you, BronxWench.  I was just trying to make a guess based on my own personal experience.  As it happens, I’m honestly not even sure why you’d need an account just for reading (unless you’re really dedicated to reviewing stories that don’t allow anonymous reviews).  Again, sorry if I bothered you.

    3. JayDee

      JayDee

      You can tell if you’ve really upset BronxWench around the time a Banshee begins shrieking on your roof.

    4. BronxWench

      BronxWench

      Quote

      I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to annoy you, BronxWench.  I was just trying to make a guess based on my own personal experience.  As it happens, I’m honestly not even sure why you’d need an account just for reading (unless you’re really dedicated to reviewing stories that don’t allow anonymous reviews).  Again, sorry if I bothered you.

      I’m not upset at you at all! Sorry if it seemed that way, but it was one of those things last year that was endlessly frustrating. In the scheme of things, it wasn’t a big deal although we had a few people who wanted to make it more than it was. Quite frankly, I was a LOT more worried about the big players—Equifax, banks, phone companies—because those guys DO have data on me. AFF is not in possession of any information that will lead back to me without some effort, and even then, I’m not all that worried about people knowing where I play and read. I’m too damned old to care what they think about me. :lol: 

  13. Am back in a “can’t finish anything” phase. Which may be for the best after finishing Pregnant in Alabama.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. JayDee

      JayDee

      Thank you for the offer! I won’t risk the wrath of SWP1 by delaying you from your own work though :p

      I’m sure I’ll get back into it at some point. I have done in the past!

    3. Thundercloud

      Thundercloud

      Considering the news about the woman charged with murder after getting shot in the belly it is clear your Pregnant in Alabama was not scary enough compared to reality…

      Actually I think you should worry less about lack of progress now and instead feel proud about the remarkable many good stories you have finished so far this year. You have delivered lots of quality stuff and it is given that you cannot keep that pace forever. Keep looking for inspiration and things will start to fit together again.

      I would love chatting about story ideas if it helps your story muse going again, but it will probably need to be a bit later. Currently the family is packing for the two week trip and I will have limited internet and less private space than normal for a while.

    4. JayDee

      JayDee

      Oh, man, that poor woman. She has all the horror of losing her baby and getting over that, and then they arrest her. Some real animals walking around calling themselves lawmakers out there. :no:

      I have the ideas, I know what I want to do, I just can’t seem to get it written down. But thanks, I guess I did do some good stuff this year, maybe it’s not so bad having another break!

      I hope that trip goes well for the family there – I’m off on a bit of one myself for a few days the week after next and will be short of internet connection too! :)

  14. First draft of “Pregnant in Alabama” clocks in at 3700 words. Billy Bob’s gettin’ bred y’all.

    1. GeorgeGlass

      GeorgeGlass

      *best George Takei voice* Oh, my.

  15. Next prompt on the list is ‘scary’ so how’s this for a title: “Pregnant in Alabama”

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. JayDee

      JayDee

      “Billy-Bob was so proud a signin’ that there legislation he bragged all about it to the pretty blonde thing chattin’ him at the country club. Only, she weren’t human, not no how, and next day he done woke up pregnant. Well, shit, Billy-Bob if you’re fixin’ to get one of them abortions yore shit outa luck.”

      [/Banjo outro]

      Although it has to be said, “Gertie rises from the dead and the only thing that will sate her hunger is Alabama fetuses” would be a hell of a story, in the brief period before I was taken out and shot.

    3. CloverReef

      CloverReef

      I’d read the hell out of that. 

    4. BronxWench

      BronxWench

      So would I (even though I’m ridiculously behind in my reading...)

  16. Just finished a first draft at 5008 words, which is the most I’ve done on a oneshot in a very long time. Now I need to roll it in glitter.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Thundercloud

      Thundercloud

      Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

    3. Daye

      Daye

      congratulations! I’m so glad you’ve written something big. (about something big? Wayhey!)

    4. JayDee

      JayDee

      Thanks! I guess it’s big for me, tiny for others – but, hey, if I can get it polished and sorted it’ll be alright I think.

  17. Quadrille. Ok. I do a flashfic using this word as nothing else seems to work. I can’t even get the darn re-write to work! bah. 

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. JayDee

      JayDee

      What if you decided to go with “Ken cloned himself twice so he could have a threesome with himself”? 

      I see the next week’s prompts are “reviled, repulsive, revolting” so I guess that one’s gonna be an autobiography for me…

    3. InBrightestDay

      InBrightestDay

      Quote

      What if you decided to go with “Ken cloned himself twice so he could have a threesome with himself”?

      Seems a tad narcissistic, doesn’t it?

      Quote

      I see the next week’s prompts are “reviled, repulsive, revolting” so I guess that one’s gonna be an autobiography for me…

      :lol: Honestly, though, those prompts are perfect for just about anything horror-related.

    4. JayDee

      JayDee

      Yep! So time to write a flashfic set at a gamer convention.

  18. Writing a sex scene with a female dog means I can use “The bitch” as a descriptor and it’s not problematic. Which is nice, considering the entire rest of the scene is problematic as hell.

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. JayDee

      JayDee

      Oh gods, no, don’t expect anything worthwhile. Positive anticipation of any sort is not recommended. This is the kind of story people bag up steaming from the path on a cold morning after doggo has done its business.

    3. InBrightestDay

      InBrightestDay

      Do you think this has any chance of earning you the coveted “You Sick Fuck” award the way A Big Girl’s Bad End did?

    4. JayDee

      JayDee

      Probably not even an honorable mention. People (PETA aside) don’t seem to get as upset about the beast stories I do as the violent ones. Readers even seemed to find my Narnia story “The Horse and his Cock” funny. Though some of that was probably down to the badger and her insatiable lust for horsecock.

      ...yeah, ok, I just “You Sick Fuck”d myself.

  19. Did any of the pre-raphaelite lot ever paint a maelid? I can just reference the style for the drib-drab prompt, but I was sort of curious if there was one to see in that style!

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. InBrightestDay

      InBrightestDay

      So I felt kind of stupid when I realized that “Pre-Raphaelite” did not mean “painted before Raphael’s work” (which is why I was pointing to that Athenian vase) but instead referred to the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood...a bunch of guys who started painting in the late 1800s.  Oops. :blush:

      Unfortunately, Hylas and the Nymphs kind of monopolizes the Google results whenever I attempt to find paintings of nymphs from those guys.  Amusingly, though, Waterhouse did paint one of your muses!

      Get it?  ’Cause it’s called Lamia and you...have a...shutting up now.

      800px-Lamia_and_the_Soldier.jpg

    3. JayDee

      JayDee

      I used to know someone who had a print of that one on their wall! And, yeah, the more famous paintings were coloring all my search results too, which was why I thought I’d take a shot and see if anyone knew specifically. I think I’ll probably just refer to the style given they did so many classical themes (as well as Arthurian cycle and shakespeare and the like).

    4. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      Lamia was always an interestingly tragic story.

  20. Holy shitballs, I’ve just spent ages finding a way to use some hardass prompts in what’s basically a PWP draft chapter, and then the ones for the following week’s batch include juice. If I’d realised I’d have cheated and used the prompt sets in a different order.

    1. InBrightestDay

      InBrightestDay

      Out of curiosity, what are the other, non-juice prompts?

    2. JayDee

      JayDee

      I’ve done some of the other week’s prompts in the past so the two oldest unlocked weekly prompt threads I haven’t done the words for yet are:

      Weeks 192/193 - 22 June 2014 – hamate, haptic, haslot

      Week 196/197 - 27 July 2014 – jetsam, juice, jinx

      Jinx and jetsam could totally also work in a pwp. But since they’re ending up in a non-sex chapter I guess I’ll use Jinx for a reference to the old game of two folks saying the same thing unless I think of something better.

      I did the first 52 prompt weeks, back when they would be available for one week only and then locked. There’s a whole bunch of locked ones I never did between then and when they stopped locking ‘em – but if I somehow manage to do all the unlocked weekly prompts I can always do the locked ones, credit the forum for providing the word/s used and just not have a post in the locked thread. Heh.

      The weekly prompt threads are all here if you haven’t explored down that far :)

    3. InBrightestDay

      InBrightestDay

      Quote

      I guess I’ll use Jinx for a reference to the old game of two folks saying the same thing unless I think of something better.

      Either that or as a curse/bad luck.

  21. Well, posted a story with a Roman Shower. I guess that’s one off the sick bucket list.

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. JayDee

      JayDee

      You already wrote a pity sequel! Although, admittedly, the pity wasn’t for me.

      And sound choice to give it a miss. I don’t mind if I don’t get reviews on that one, it is probably for the best. The few people that piece of shit might appeal to probably want a minimal digital footprint.

    3. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      Sometimes @JayDee I’m like 80% sure you’re a supervillain.

    4. JayDee

      JayDee

      I’m more like a ventriloquist’s dummy or maybe a puppet on strings. Sometimes the muse that picks me up to write is a funny, decent hearted, happy story lovin’ goofball. The other times it’s a cold blooded Lamia that hates life and beauty and just about everything in the world, ‘bout the only thing they like is a challenge. Oh, and for some reason, insisting on sharing the stories to AFF when the sensible thing would be to encase the USB stick containing the latest crime against literature & good taste in concrete, sail it out to The Mariana Trench, and throw it overboard.

  22. My profile says I joined the forum as JayDee on January 31, 2008. (I mean, yeah, there’s posts from my old pen name before then. We ignore those.)

    It takes effort to get worse at writing over 11 years, believe me.

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. JayDee

      JayDee

      All I know is my family tree on my mother’s side starts in a river and on my father’s side starts out in the flatlands where outsiders rarely travel.

    3. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      *banjos play softly in the distance.*

    4. BronxWench

      BronxWench

      ...is WAY older than JayDee…  

      I’m pretty sure I have shoes that are older than most gods.

  23. Folks, if you’ve not started on reading InBrightestDay’s The Woman in the Statue you are really missing out. The thing’s a work of art.

  24. I’ve finally finished reading the original 7 Harry Potter books. Needed more Dobby.

  25. the horror… the horror… https://imgur.com/a/xkmjbbB (screencap of forum with “Ice Cream Parlor”) theme

    1. JayDee

      JayDee

      I made this joke mocking the forum at the worst possible time and am now doomed.

      https://imgur.com/a/QMCOrCG

      (Cropped screencap of forum showing that I’m in wicked trouble now.)

    2. BronxWench

      BronxWench

      ::dies of the giggles::  Nah, most of us cringe a little at that theme. Now something with a blood-speckled dark alley? Oh, yes…  :lol: