Ghost-of-a-Chance

Next chapter of A New Lease on Life – “61: Forgiveness Goes Both Ways” – is complete, sent out for beta-reading, and with a little luck, should go live on ALL SITES (except Tumblr because Tumblr is run by censor-happy dickbags) by the end of the month! 

And just think: it only took almost a YEAR to get that chapter completed.  Kimber Bryant is, again, a very large part of the delay. She’s so hard to write, I swear, sometimes I want to just give in and kill her off AGAIN. Forget second chances in other worlds, it’s too hard to get in her headspace to deal with writing her often. At least we only have two more Kimber-centric chapters before we can get back to our regular programming.

...why did I commit myself to her arc? I must be a masochist or something.

THIS is why I have no faith in Reverse Dictionary. Granted, I suck at summarizing phrases and that doesn’t help the AI anyway, but its best guess for “Someone who has had wrong done to them” is VIRGIN?!

...I can’t. I just can’t even.

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For the first time in his life, Leon was entirely, utterly alone, and with no end in sight. Unbidden, he recalled his brother’s final words to him: it was always you or me...now it’s just you. Yet again, he wondered what Norton meant by that; yet again, he wondered if, in some backward way, it meant only one of us will survive this life, so I’m choosing you to do it. The suspicion always left a twisting, burning, aching feeling in his gut—something somewhere in the messy middleground between resentment, heartache, and resignation. That middleground was nothing new – before Norton’s sudden and grisly death, it was where Leon’s heart inevitably landed after any length of time around him.

...and that, Leon admitted if only to himself, was what hurt the most.

 

 

Excerpt from A New Lease on Life – 61: Forgiveness is for the Victimized (WIP)

Sometimes when I read back over what I’ve written, it feels like I just vomited up words on a page, swept it into a pile, and called it good. Other times, like this, I wonder if I carved them out of my chest and walked away without realizing a piece of my heart was missing.  All I meant to do was get into the groove of the chapter and I stabbed myself right in the feels.

*From a WIP/rough draft, no checking done yet – expect mis-comma-ing all over the place and maybe a spelling/grammar error or two.)

Grammarly had a blonde moment. Grammarly identified “blonde” as two different incorrectly spelled words somehow jammed together. 

This is why you always, always, ALWAYS either do your own proof-reading or have a beta proof-read your drafts instead of just running them through spellcheck and accepting all corrections. Grammarly’s free checker is, so far, the best I’ve come across, but it works best in combination with proof-reading. No checking program can replace proofreading.

The difference between this site’s forums and FFnet’s forums is...uh...what’s a good solid word for “incredible?” There’s no doubt which of the two is better.

FFnet forums are plagued with simple, honest, non-aggressive questions which are subject to aggressive dogpiling, bullying, retributive reporting, and immaturity from users who don’t comprehend that you can disagree with someone without that disagreement making them a horribly nasty and evil person AND without being an utter dickbag about it. I’ve seen questions about site functions and guidelines turn into cyber-bullying sessions that have made people log off for weeks to recover; many of these times, I’ve given up on getting my answer to track the bullied user down and reassure them only to find out they were brought to tears and considering deleting their accounts entirely. The immaturity and bullying on that site is appalling, and even more so that it’s allowed to continue without repercussions. 

AFF forums? I’m looking for a thread to get answers from; instead, I just found a topic titled “Uses for a pet demon” and sprayed hot tea out my nose. No attacks in the replies, just people having fun with the idea and being – GASP! – rational human beings! Even more, users replying are – if you can believe it – JOKING about it! I feel like a kid who heard “Detention” but instead wound up at Disney World for the week. Plus, I can say someone’s being a dickbag without being reported for profanity, and I can write “this hit me hard” without the censors leaving only “me hard.” That's always awkward.

I love this site, and I love its users. Y’all are awesome. If only the site was easier to navigate and use on my tablet and if only it had better log-in security, I’d love it twice as much. Either way, it’ll be a while before I bother with FFnet’s forums again.

Now I just need to find a thread for language research & resources...

Listening to Loreena McKennitt….because only in Celtic folk music do people respond to finding a drowned woman by making a musical instrument from her corpse.

“The swans swim so bonny, oh.”

I’m confused here. I got a ‘disclaimer’ review on one of my older stories (Denial) from mod PIPPYCHICK. It includes this text:

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Your disclaimer doesn't have one of the two parts we need to see. It must say that no money/profit is made. Saying that it’s just for fun or just for entertainment purposes is not enough.

BUT! my disclaimer for that story states just that. I double-checked, and the disclaimer has these words exactly:

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I do not own TMNT, Hellboy, or any mentioned music, movies, etc; I make no money from this. I DO own Alesha, Maggie, Dante, the Willows, and Amber...and coffee. LOTS of COFFEE.

This is the basic disclaimer format I used for that series of stories with the exception of the word “story.” (I think maybe I ran out of characters…? I dunno. It’s been a while since I even thought about that story or series. Anywho, I replied to the email immediately upon receipt of it but haven’t gotten any answer yet. (I can't recall if replying to the email will do any good. In my defense, I’ve been oscillating between fine and suddenly retching most of the day.)

Was this an error? Does acknowledging ownership of my OCs throw the rest of the disclaimer into question? Was my dorky joke about owning lots of coffee the problem? Or does “I make no money from this” translate to “Dude! I’m totally getting paid for writing this story!” and somehow, I’ve never noticed before?

I’m so confused right now. (...or am I queasy? Or is it both? ...both. Both is good.)

There’s nothing in the world like going from a long night of white noise to the day’s first song. It’s a shift from ennui to enlightenment – tense stillness to sudden and flurried movement.

The only comparison I can ever come up with, odd as it sounds, is standing on the edge of a bald drop-off, staring down into the early morning fog seeping through the treetops, and watching the rising sun slowly burn through the mist. No matter how beautiful the sunset may be, no matter how the clouds swirl or the fog swoops in as dusk falls, nothing the rest of the day will ever match up to that first moment of burning elation. Delay never weakens it; urgency never strengthens it. 

Blindness, I could maybe learn to tolerate. Silence, more likely. Losing all ability to hear? That, I’m sure, would slay me outright. Thus why this afternoon, I’m blaring “After the Rain” and grinning like an idijt for no reason whatsoever.