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foeofthelance

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Everything posted by foeofthelance

  1. *Steps out of a smoking crater and dusts himself off* Right, that was fun in a horrible, lets never do this again sort of way. What’s next?

    1. BronxWench

      BronxWench

      Oh, I don’t know…but I have an awful feeling we’re about to find out.

    2. WillowDarkling
  2. Nothing like having to factory restore your laptop, only to find out at 2 AM that you’ve now lost six years of writing and renders due to things never having actually backed up to the external drive. 

    1. pittwitch

      pittwitch

      Good grief.  My condolences.

    2. BronxWench

      BronxWench

      Oh, gods, lad, I’m so sorry!

    3. JayDee

      JayDee

      Well that fucking sucks.

  3. I think it greatly summarizes my life that the biggest problem I’ve got at the moment is that there are plenty of college girls who want to fuck me and call me Daddy, but I can’t get a damned date with anyone my own age!

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. Desiderius Price

      Desiderius Price

      Quote

      But I have friends ranging in age from their 20s to their 80s, because I find them interesting and because I have always thought age was largely a state of mind. 

      I don’t really have to grow up, do I?  :)

    3. BronxWench
    4. foeofthelance

      foeofthelance

      I wouldn’t mind if it was an actual relationship...

  4. So I am beyond furious, and worse, the only thing I can think to do may make the situation entirely worse for the person who is actually being attacked.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Desiderius Price

      Desiderius Price

      Story or real life?

    3. foeofthelance

      foeofthelance

      Real life, unfortunately. Someone is harassing a friend, and they were trying to use me as a weapon to do it

    4. BronxWench

      BronxWench

      That utterly sucks, lad, and I hear you about anything you do making it worse. Just let your friend know you have their back, as best you can.

  5. “You’re such a good writer, I’d swer you’re a rapist!”

    Yeah, fuck you too. 

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. JayDee

      JayDee

      That’s the requirement? No wonder the old Fat Albert books were so unputdownable.

    3. Desiderius Price

      Desiderius Price

      Take it as a badge of honor as we can really screw our characters :P

       

    4. Arian-Sinclair

      Arian-Sinclair

      I wasn't aware that "swer" was a word. They're so good with words, I bet they need to turn their spell-checker on. :rofl: That is such a short comment to have not caught the missing letter in "swear" before posting. I agree with Des; take that comment as a badge of honor. :yes:

  6. Do not piss off the indie authors, for we are legion and write better than your average complaint.

  7. Having broken the $10 mark on BN.com, I can officially add "Paid author" to the resume. I think, technically, this puts me at Z list status. Y status here we come!

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. CL Mustafic

      CL Mustafic

      Congrats! I’m hanging there with you on the Z list, it’s good times. :D

       

    3. BronxWench

      BronxWench

      Now if you’d put the book up on Amazon, I could even buy it…:D

    4. foeofthelance

      foeofthelance

      Damn it, that reminds me! T-shirts!

  8. Now to see how long it takes for All State to cough up for the rental...

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. foeofthelance

      foeofthelance

      Heh, that’s very much the idea. And depending on how co-operative they are is going to determine whether or not I keep E-surance after this. Because I’m sorry, but my monthly payment on the car is something like $89 at this point. So why they want $220 for insurance...

    3. BronxWench

      BronxWench

      Dear gods. That’s monthly for the insurance???

    4. foeofthelance

      foeofthelance

      Yup. And E-Surance is a product of Allstate. So if Allstate gets squirrely, I’m dumping Allstate. 

  9. A long time ago, a time when the internet still howled through dial up and cell phones weighed as much as a small child, I wrote a story called the Cheerleaders. As with many things on the internet from that long bygone era, it has since vanished into digital oblivion. But now the The Cheerleaders are back, better written, but still having just as much sex! The first offering in this ongoing serial is available for sale now from BN.com, with Amazon soon to follow! Find it at: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-cheerleaders-f-thelance/1126443845?ean=2940157427368
  10. Heh, you know, at some point I should go back to this story...
  11. If its a plant monster, why not just call them vines?
  12. At this point, I think at least two of my stories are AUs of one of my other stories, so if I am worried, its a self inflicted wound.
  13. Currently on chapter 6, at about 22,800 words my self.
  14. Foeofthelance Legacy of the Vakyr 7,930/40,000 words
  15. Trained in what? And I suppose it depends on what you mean by keep going. In my experience there's a period of time between ejaculation and the refractory crash, which can generally be avoided through varying the stimuli. I can't keep going like a pneumatic drill, but it isn't necessary to turn into an inanimate lump, either.
  16. For me, it depends on how I'm working the description. I've got not problem with, "John stood six-three in his stocking feet, and was skinny enough to use as a rail road track." or "John was a huge man, big enough to trigger earthquake warnings when he went for his morning jog." Just depends on what sounds better, and what sort of story I plan on telling. It shouldn't sound like a doctor's report, but there's nothing bad about being accurate.
  17. I had a 70 chapter, 350,000 word story running around that ended up deleted between computers. There are fragments existing on various sites, but at this point they read more like loose outlines than my actual chapters.
  18. Also, writer voice is not speaking voice. If you try to follow the rules of grammar while writing your dialogue, you're more likely to end up with something that sounds stilted or forced.
  19. The largest chunk of the problem with any fanfic is that it is ever only going to appeal to those who have an interest in the fandom. That's because its assumed that a lot of the work is being pre-established for the author; we know the characters, the setting, etc. In this case, you're not only limited by the smaller fandom, but by the fact that you're writing what is essentially a fix-fic: a story where one aspect of the story is changed to achieve a better outcome desired by the fan author. So you're not only limiting yourself to the fandom you are writing in, but the pool of readers who also want to see that particular aspect changed. In truth, there are only two ways to attract readers, and one greatly assists in the other: 1) Write in a fandom with a such a large pool of readers that even a small chunk represents a substantial population AND/OR 2) Become such a well known author that people are looking for your stories because they are written by you, no matter what the content might be. This is much easier if you start by following the guideline above this one.
  20. That's the beauty of magic. As long as you're obeying your own rules, it will always come out right. You don't need to describe the technique or how it works, you need to say what the technique does and then describe the characters performing the proper steps.
  21. So? Then that's what happens. You're already using magic chakra manipulation, so the answer is just, "A wizard Ninja did it." You're just overthinking the problem otherwise.
  22. Yeah, the thing is that there's no reason to open the cervix that way. Look, sperm is a fluid, right? So the easiest way to get the sperm pass the cervix is not to do some some complicated body modifications mid-coitus. You just need to funnel the sperm past the choke point. Think of it this way. You have a bucket of water that you need to pour down a drain. The only catch is that you're not allowed to touch the side of the drains: all the water has to go through, none is allowed to remain in the sink. Your current idea is to make the sink wider to shove the entire bucket down, when it would be easier to just get a funnel and control the flow.
  23. Yeah, I think once you've reached the point where you're using magic to accomplish something, it should be solved in the most direct way possible. Just have them use the ancient scroll of Knockum Upitis and hand wave the rest. Otherwise, the more details you throw in the more people will question it.
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