Deadman Posted February 5 Report Posted February 5 So, I’ve been working on a story involving two characters falling in love, although one of the characters appears to be gaslighting the main character. There’s a series of events where the main character and their love interest agree on something, but then the love interest breaks the promise to the main character. It’s two female characters. I’m working on the first love scene between them and I’m trying to figure out how to show something is wrong during the love scene. Something the love interest can do, not necessarily to make them stop in the middle or not go through with it. However, something that will make the main character think about in hindsight. Quote
WarrenTheConey Posted February 7 Report Posted February 7 Not knowing the characters makes it hard to know how they would react to a 'slight' of any kind. That being said, any mention of a broken promise during a 'make up', would probably turn into an argument or fight. So that should be avoided at all costs. Your best bet, at least I think, would be to show one fully engaged and committed to their love making, and to have the other show the slightest sign that they are not equally engaged. It would have to be something that can easily played off as nothing, like rolling her eyes at a sweet little declaration of love, or maybe letting out a noticeable sigh when she's asked to do something physical. Deadman and Wilde_Guess 2 Quote
Deadman Posted February 7 Author Report Posted February 7 11 hours ago, WarrenTheConey said: Not knowing the characters makes it hard to know how they would react to a 'slight' of any kind. That being said, any mention of a broken promise during a 'make up', would probably turn into an argument or fight. So that should be avoided at all costs. Your best bet, at least I think, would be to show one fully engaged and committed to their love making, and to have the other show the slightest sign that they are not equally engaged. It would have to be something that can easily played off as nothing, like rolling her eyes at a sweet little declaration of love, or maybe letting out a noticeable sigh when she's asked to do something physical. Well I thought about the idea of being something of one being more aggressive than generally love making oriented. For examples of what the issues have been, they agreed not to tell anyone about their relationship, only for the main character to find that her love interest has told her boyfriend and broken up with him for the main character. They work through that and agree not to tell anyone else, only for the main character to find the love interest has told their mutual friends about them. It sorta goes along like this. Quote
Wilde_Guess Posted April 10 Report Posted April 10 Hi, all. On 2/7/2024 at 4:39 AM, WarrenTheConey said: Not knowing the characters makes it hard to know how they would react to a 'slight' of any kind. That being said, any mention of a broken promise during a 'make up', would probably turn into an argument or fight. So that should be avoided at all costs. Your best bet, at least I think, would be to show one fully engaged and committed to their love making, and to have the other show the slightest sign that they are not equally engaged. It would have to be something that can easily played off as nothing, like rolling her eyes at a sweet little declaration of love, or maybe letting out a noticeable sigh when she's asked to do something physical. … would spreading your newspaper across her shoulder-blades to read while engaging in the act be a bit too much? Or perhaps using her breasts to prop up your smartphone but not using it for the camera? Cheers! WarrenTheConey, Deadman and BronxWench 1 2 Quote
BronxWench Posted April 10 Report Posted April 10 29 minutes ago, Wilde_Guess said: Hi, all. … would spreading your newspaper across her shoulder-blades to read while engaging in the act be a bit too much? Or perhaps using her breasts to prop up your smartphone but not using it for the camera? Cheers! And now all I can picture is John Malkovich penning a letter while resting the paper on Uma Thuman’s back… Deadman, Wilde_Guess, InvidiaRed and 1 other 3 1 Quote
Deadman Posted April 10 Author Report Posted April 10 9 hours ago, BronxWench said: And now all I can picture is John Malkovich penning a letter while resting the paper on Uma Thuman’s back… I’m not sure how you got there as a thought, but okay then. BronxWench and Wilde_Guess 2 Quote
Deadman Posted April 10 Author Report Posted April 10 9 hours ago, Wilde_Guess said: Hi, all. … would spreading your newspaper across her shoulder-blades to read while engaging in the act be a bit too much? Or perhaps using her breasts to prop up your smartphone but not using it for the camera? Cheers! I suspect it would, although maybe only the smartphone option is something that would happen. So maybe I should think about that. Wilde_Guess 1 Quote
BronxWench Posted April 11 Report Posted April 11 1 hour ago, Deadman said: I’m not sure how you got there as a thought, but okay then. Trust me, my brain is a dreadful place. Deadman and Wilde_Guess 2 Quote
GeorgeGlass Posted April 11 Report Posted April 11 Maybe she rubs an ice cube over her lover's lips before they kiss, and afterward says, "Mmm, I love them cold." This would be especially pause-worthy if she works in a morgue or a funeral home. Deadman, Wilde_Guess and BronxWench 2 1 Quote
Wilde_Guess Posted April 11 Report Posted April 11 Hi, all. 3 hours ago, GeorgeGlass said: Maybe she rubs an ice cube over her lover's lips before they kiss, and afterward says, "Mmm, I love them cold." This would be especially pause-worthy if she works in a morgue or a funeral home. … perhaps even more so if her name is Ethyl? Cheers! Deadman and BronxWench 1 1 Quote
Deadman Posted April 11 Author Report Posted April 11 7 hours ago, GeorgeGlass said: Maybe she rubs an ice cube over her lover's lips before they kiss, and afterward says, "Mmm, I love them cold." This would be especially pause-worthy if she works in a morgue or a funeral home. Lol, I could do that with another story, but not the particular one that inspired this post. I usually write fanfic for Buffy, who has a habit of having sex with vampires. Quote
Deadman Posted April 11 Author Report Posted April 11 4 hours ago, Wilde_Guess said: Hi, all. … perhaps even more so if her name is Ethyl? Cheers! I’m not sure I know the reference, but funny enough, the fandom does have a character named Ethel in the show. Quote
Wilde_Guess Posted April 12 Report Posted April 12 Hi, Deadman. 8 hours ago, Deadman said: I’m not sure I know the reference, but funny enough, the fandom does have a character named Ethel in the show. The reference is to “Cold Ethyl” by Alice Cooper. If your story is BTVS, that’s even better. To paraphrase Hall and Oates, “Some chicks are better left undead...” Cheers? Deadman and BronxWench 1 1 Quote
Deadman Posted April 12 Author Report Posted April 12 18 hours ago, Wilde_Guess said: Hi, Deadman. The reference is to “Cold Ethyl” by Alice Cooper. If your story is BTVS, that’s even better. To paraphrase Hall and Oates, “Some chicks are better left undead...” Cheers? Okay, well I’ll have to check that out. Again, not for this particular story but maybe for another one. BronxWench and Wilde_Guess 2 Quote
Desiderius Price Posted April 13 Report Posted April 13 On 2/5/2024 at 9:42 PM, Deadman said: So, I’ve been working on a story involving two characters falling in love, although one of the characters appears to be gaslighting the main character. There’s a series of events where the main character and their love interest agree on something, but then the love interest breaks the promise to the main character. It’s two female characters. I’m working on the first love scene between them and I’m trying to figure out how to show something is wrong during the love scene. Something the love interest can do, not necessarily to make them stop in the middle or not go through with it. However, something that will make the main character think about in hindsight. Maybe getting one character getting the other’s name slightly wrong? Something that’s eerily similar to another’s name? BronxWench, Wilde_Guess and Deadman 3 Quote
Deadman Posted April 14 Author Report Posted April 14 15 hours ago, Desiderius Price said: Maybe getting one character getting the other’s name slightly wrong? Something that’s eerily similar to another’s name? That might actually be an option. Part of the gaslighting involves an evil twin pretending to be the good twin. But I’m not sure what other name they could say that wouldn’t cause a problem. Maybe the evil twin insists on being called by their good twin’s name? Which confuses the main character? Quote
GeorgeGlass Posted April 18 Report Posted April 18 On 4/12/2024 at 12:29 AM, Wilde_Guess said: The reference is to “Cold Ethyl” by Alice Cooper. Ah, okay. I was all like, “But alcohol has a really low freezing point, so how would that make sense?” Wilde_Guess and Deadman 1 1 Quote
Deadman Posted April 19 Author Report Posted April 19 On 4/17/2024 at 8:44 PM, GeorgeGlass said: Ah, okay. I was all like, “But alcohol has a really low freezing point, so how would that make sense?” I had a different problem with it, but it’s good to have the clarification, right? Quote
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