Strange_idea Posted June 1, 2018 Report Posted June 1, 2018 okay.. that works, though there may need to be some fun with the rules here to prevent too many girls off the bat. maybe she’s part of the relay system, or guarding a different tower, or a servant to ursula. which brings up another topic i wanted to mention. I appreciate the ‘make him a man’ plan, but do you really want to colloquially play so many cards right away? it might be too much too soon. i understand the plan, but maybe space it out a bit. have one reward him for every territory captured, even if he doesn’t get so many girls in the first one. and since they’re his mothers, maybe they could take a stranger disguise shape (or maybe just human, non sorceress form) so he doesn’t see the pattern right away. still your story, your rules, i just wanted to put it out there. ….. actually they could use morganna for the first night and place bets to decide who gets him next. they could become human again after the overlord drains them, at which point it hits hiccup what they did Quote
Jwsponky Posted June 1, 2018 Author Report Posted June 1, 2018 (edited) 5 minutes ago, Strange_idea said: okay.. that works, though there may need to be some fun with the rules here to prevent too many girls off the bat. maybe she’s part of the relay system, or guarding a different tower, or a servant to ursula. which brings up another topic i wanted to mention. I appreciate the ‘make him a man’ plan, but do you really want to colloquially play so many cards right away? it might be too much too soon. i understand the plan, but maybe space it out a bit. have one reward him for every territory captured, even if he doesn’t get so many girls in the first one. and since they’re his mothers, maybe they could take a stranger disguise shape (or maybe just human, non sorceress form) so he doesn’t see the pattern right away. still your story, your rules, i just wanted to put it out there. ….. actually they could use morganna for the first night and place bets to decide who gets him next. they could become human again after the overlord drains them, at which point it hits hiccup what they did You do make a good point, and I admit my original plan had just four bound sorceresses, that same number as the Netherghul, when over the course of this discussion ideas for more occurred to me… Granted this is technically all just 'thinking aloud', and some of the ideas might not make it into the story. ... Though a thought occurs to me about having Ursula and/or Morgana as bound sorceresses and including Ariel as a mistress later… Given the myth and rumor I've read that Ursula and Morgana are supposed to be Ariel's aunts, depending on how long ago the Black Baron was active, Ariel would possibly be long dead... Edited June 1, 2018 by Jwsponky Quote
Strange_idea Posted June 1, 2018 Report Posted June 1, 2018 i know, but when you have more, you can work with more. cutting back’s fine, but you don’t have to. if you go with sublots and tie things together you can make a more complex, intricate but still coherent and interesting story. I think anyway Quote
Strange_idea Posted June 1, 2018 Report Posted June 1, 2018 besides, a fivesome off the bat might be too much anyway. I think the bets and ‘one every victory’ works pretty well Quote
Strange_idea Posted June 1, 2018 Report Posted June 1, 2018 drawing it out proper increases anticipation, we can have fans of the specific girls eagerly waiting for their chapter Quote
Strange_idea Posted June 1, 2018 Report Posted June 1, 2018 If you feels i’m taking over or talking too much at any point let me know Quote
Jwsponky Posted June 1, 2018 Author Report Posted June 1, 2018 3 minutes ago, Strange_idea said: i know, but when you have more, you can work with more. cutting back’s fine, but you don’t have to. if you go with sublots and tie things together you can make a more complex, intricate but still coherent and interesting story. I think anyway 2 minutes ago, Strange_idea said: besides, a fivesome off the bat might be too much anyway. I think the bets and ‘one every victory’ works pretty well 2 minutes ago, Strange_idea said: drawing it out proper increases anticipation, we can have fans of the specific girls eagerly waiting for their chapter Just now, Strange_idea said: If you feels i’m taking over or talking too much at any point let me know These are plans, and don't worry about it, advice I sought, and advice you have been giving Quote
thebooblover Posted June 1, 2018 Report Posted June 1, 2018 Okay so to recap, what have we got? Quote
Jwsponky Posted June 1, 2018 Author Report Posted June 1, 2018 8 minutes ago, thebooblover said: Okay so to recap, what have we got? Um... The inclusion of orcs, queen La of Tarzan draining Mirage of Aladdin of a significant portion of her powers, and Hiccup conquering the Hercules version of Greece, with several girls from that series getting demigoddess powers. And possibly some more that slipped my mind... Quote
Strange_idea Posted June 1, 2018 Report Posted June 1, 2018 Sorry. Connection dropped out for a bit. Basically, insread of gnarl, the tladvisor is evil sorceresses sacrificed to power the tower. They raiaed hiccup and watch his advwnture while bound to the tower Quote
Strange_idea Posted June 1, 2018 Report Posted June 1, 2018 Oh mirage, forgot mirage. She was sent by queen la as a proxy to die instead, but it didn't take so she stuck as hiccups loyal cat for a while. She hates la obviously Quote
thebooblover Posted June 1, 2018 Report Posted June 1, 2018 3 minutes ago, Jwsponky said: Um... The inclusion of orcs, queen La of Tarzan draining Mirage of Aladdin of a significant portion of her powers, and Hiccup conquering the Hercules version of Greece, with several girls from that series getting demigoddess powers. And possibly some more that slipped my mind... Okay then, these are some interestings ideas, but have you started writing the story? Quote
Jwsponky Posted June 1, 2018 Author Report Posted June 1, 2018 3 minutes ago, thebooblover said: Okay then, these are some interesting ideas, but have you started writing the story? Uh... I wrote a few sentences featuring the eight heroes' battle with the Overlord before Hiccup, then got distracted setting up this account and thread... Quote
Strange_idea Posted June 1, 2018 Report Posted June 1, 2018 (edited) Oh, also hiccup's harem becomes his reigonal queens and maybe has a teleport netework with each other, letting more character stuff happen as he travels with the new girls. That bit's still undecided to a degree, if i understand. 3 minutes ago, Jwsponky said: Uh... I wrote a few sentences featuring the eight heroes' battle with the Overlord before Hiccup, then got distracted setting up this account and thread... Is that my fault? Sorry. Just trying to help Edited June 1, 2018 by Strange_idea Quote
Jwsponky Posted June 1, 2018 Author Report Posted June 1, 2018 Just now, Strange_idea said: Is that my fault? Sorry. Just trying to help Eh, don't worry, its not in small part due to my rather short attention span at times Quote
thebooblover Posted June 1, 2018 Report Posted June 1, 2018 6 minutes ago, Strange_idea said: No. Getting events in order first 5 minutes ago, Jwsponky said: Uh... I wrote a few sentences featuring the eight heroes' battle with the Overlord before Hiccup, then got distracted setting up this account and thread... Okay then Quote
Strange_idea Posted June 1, 2018 Report Posted June 1, 2018 Still, it's important to understand the order of things for good construction and foreshadowing and character growth. And erotic tension Quote
Strange_idea Posted June 1, 2018 Report Posted June 1, 2018 Theres a outline of the original idea at the first page. The stuff we told you geys added to that. Quote
Strange_idea Posted June 1, 2018 Report Posted June 1, 2018 Sorry, just wanted to bring some attention to this story. I think it has real potential. And looks good so far Quote
Jwsponky Posted June 1, 2018 Author Report Posted June 1, 2018 1 minute ago, Strange_idea said: Theres a outline of the original idea at the first page. The stuff we told you geys added to that. That reminds me, need to update that some... Quote
Strange_idea Posted June 1, 2018 Report Posted June 1, 2018 Excuse me thebooblover, is there a beta reader syatrm in the main site? Quote
thebooblover Posted June 1, 2018 Report Posted June 1, 2018 40 minutes ago, Strange_idea said: Excuse me thebooblover, is there a beta reader syatrm in the main site? I don't know Quote
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