She is the One

[Joe Long]

I believe Kayla will fight for Jack, be very possessive, but that will also cause her to suspect everything.

I wrote a scene that I sent to Joe, of Rhona asking Jack for advice, not actively trying to tease or seduce him, but being provocative. I don't want to go into details because I don't want to claim credit if he uses something from it, but if I'm satisfied he isn't going to I can post it here.

[Mr_Fairplay]

I just hope we don't spoil any of his ideas (pls fight don't be spoiled)

Yeah man, the sentiment is well shared.

[Mr_Fairplay]

I believe Kayla will fight for Jack, be very possessive, but that will also cause her to suspect everything.

I read somewhere that a relationship is two people against the world, a co-op mode of a game that makes the game easier, fun and oh so worth it (think of Dark Souls, still beats the crap outta you but a tiny bit easier and is two player co-op), a two person team. When i picture Jack and Kayla, i see that, i see them as a team. Yes, Kayla gets possessive, yes she fights for Jack and her relationship, and yes she also suspects everything, and then in a couple of chapters something drastic happens that changes everything about the way she thinks, and then Jack and Kayla emerge stronger than ever. We are gonna see some angst in the coming chapters, that much is certain.

[Mr_Fairplay]

I don't see Kayla growing that apart from Jack. Not my previous posts about this. If Kayla cares, even an ounce, about her relationship, she's gonna try to figure out the problem. Jack's not gonna let her drift. If she closes out, yeah he'll get depressed. But that won't stop him.

I hope that's the way it turns out man, i really hope so.

[thismy]

I wrote a scene that I sent to Joe, of Rhona asking Jack for advice, not actively trying to tease or seduce him, but being provocative. I don't want to go into details because I don't want to claim credit if he uses something from it, but if I'm satisfied he isn't going to I can post it here.

There's my problem. Those ideas, especially the one in the fight scene, aren't mine. They're Joe's. I'm purely an imitation writer. I just adopted the characters, using the information from the 33 chapters, and wrote. I view it as a suggestion. In hindsight, one that might have been better shared privately. (I really like the idea of a heavy injury fight) I don't want anyone to think, that if Joe, even in the future, has something even remotely similar to that, that it was my idea the scene could have been based off. I also don't want people to think that that I think that my ideas are "all amazing and perfect."

If he were to use any of my suggestions or references, I'll probably hardcore fanboy, but that's it. I don't want credit, but I fear I've spoiled something good.

On the other hand, Joe could not be thinking even close to along those lines, and it'll be good anyway.

Edited June 22, 2015 by thismy

[Joe Long]

There's my problem. Those ideas, especially the one in the fight scene, aren't mine. They're Joe's. I'm purely an imitation writer. I just adopted the characters, using the information from the 33 chapters, and wrote.

That's the definition of fan fiction.

Joe created the characters and the over-arching story line, but from that you created a new scene that was true to the original and was very well written. I don't see it much differently than being in a writing class and being given a premise of, "New girl moves to town and falls in love with the boy next door. A few months later he inadvertently reads a series of texts from her old boyfriend, and discovers she wasn't the virgin that she claimed to be." From there - go, write!

Much of what we write comes from what we've known in our lives. My story is heavily based on my own experiences at ages 19 and 20. Joe's about 25 now, a couple of you are still 19 and 20, while I'm 55 and another here is in his 50's. I think by sharing the life experiences that situations in the story remind us of would help any author see viewpoints he might not have thought of on his own.

Other than these recent suggestions, in the past I hadn't made or requested specific things to appear in a story, instead analyzing the characters and were they are, what challenges and decisions face them. In SITO I've seen things in the story that appear to me to be sprouts from seeds left by me and others in the comments, and I've written private reviews for a couple other popular stories which helped those authors see their own characters.

So I hope that's what Joe is getting from our comments!

[Mr_Fairplay]

That's the definition of fan fiction.

Joe created the characters and the over-arching story line, but from that you created a new scene that was true to the original and was very well written. I don't see it much differently than being in a writing class and being given a premise of, "New girl moves to town and falls in love with the boy next door. A few months later he inadvertently reads a series of texts from her old boyfriend, and discovers she wasn't the virgin that she claimed to be." From there - go, write!

Much of what we write comes from what we've known in our lives. My story is heavily based on my own experiences at ages 19 and 20. Joe's about 25 now, a couple of you are still 19 and 20.

You got that right, i indeed am 20, and also i am basing my ideas on my real life experiences, which i have faced and am facing, and trust me when i say this, i'm toning it down when i write, the truth is real life experiences really suck, a fact that everyone can attest to, in my version of the theories Jack and Kayla somehow work it out and their relationship emerges stronger than ever, but if i had to base it 100% on my real life experiences they never patch up, Kayla tortures Jack for a long time and even then she's reluctant to fix things, Jack is working his ass off to fix everything but no avail, eventually Jack gets so depressed that he kills himself, Why? Because when the light in the darkness of your life goes out, you tend to think there's nothing left fighting for. Or, in the fight, Jack dies or Kayal dies, and the hospital scene never happens. Everybody makes a theory based of their own experiences, Joe's writing the story using the same principle, bloil it down to the most basic idea, we've just been giving him events, the way he carries them out will be different from ours.

Edited June 23, 2015 by Mr_Fairplay

[Joe Long]

the truth is real life experiences really suck, a fact that everyone can attest to

eventually Jack gets so depressed that he kills himself, Why? Because when the light in the darkness of your life goes out, you tend to think there's nothing left fighting for.

I'm 55 with children and grandchildren, make a good amount of money, enjoy my work, am well respected...so life is good - and it totally sucked when I was your age.

Please don't give up hope - take a long term look on life. I've been married for 30 years, and there have been some downs, but I treat them as bumps in the road.

I wrote my story based on events in my life, but the story comes out much better than real life. I got the girl, at least for awhile. I've already written the last scene, where I say goodbye to that girl and take my place beside the woman I would marry, and realize "I am blessed."

I graduated high school without having ever kissed a girl. Unlike the story, I graduated college while still a virgin. My father constantly berated me for not being good enough. My parents divorced and I was torn trying to keep both of them happy with me. When I was 23 and not yet out of college my father threatened to throw me out unless I got a job. Crushed, I went to the house of my girlfriend of three months (the longest lasting of my life) for her to tell me she didn't want to see me anymore. But I survived.

I got a job flipping burgers, even if I had to ride my bicycle through the snow after wrecking my car. Four months later, after trying to date someone new, I went back to the first girl, took her out for Valentine's Day, and a year and a half later married her. (That was the only girl I ever dumped. She worked in the same restaurant, and just despised that I came in to the place with someone else, especially when that someone else had a ring and then was pregnant.)

I suffered so much pain, but I endured. I have to say how I met my wife. Absolutely true. I can't put in my story because so many people know. One day I went to my car. After not having even turned on the CB radio for over a year, a voice said, "Turn on the radio and see who's on." I knew it was not my voice that resides in my head. I looked around, saw nothing, but said out loud, "OK".

I was fascinated by the woman's voice I heard on the radio, and kept trying to break in to get her handle. Eventually she gave her location and I drove over to see the car, driven by her friend, pass by. I told them on the radio that I was following, but after a few red lights lost them until she said, "We're down here, where are you?" In two weeks it will be thirty-three years since that day. I thank God for leading me to her, and for her leading me to God.

Edited June 23, 2015 by Joe Long

[thismy]

Yeah, that's the truth. Lots of times, life sucks. It kicks you while you're down and then laughs. But so often, people forget what's ahead of them. I'm not going to sit here and say my life is awful. It isn't. But I sure as hell don't live a great life. Yeah, I'm better off than what, 90% of the rest of the world? Just because I live in America. (But man, fuck those people you shame you for having problems. If you tell someone about a problem, and they make some reference to kids in Africa or something like that, fuck them. They're shits. That type of response/ideal peeves me so much.)

Some things seem to get better with age, others get worse. (I'm not a sage though, I'm 19) I write based off my somewhat limited experience. Good and bad. I'm sorta like Joe Long, relationship wise. I've had one girlfriend. Still a virgin.(I've not really decided what I think about that one.) For the longest time, I didn't fit in with any group of my friends. I drifted and didn't hang out. I was lonely. Hell, right now I'm semi-depressed because I'm still lonely. Wait. Where am I going with this?

Ah. I my point being, life has ups and downs. Joe Long's post seems to sum that up. I'm sure I'm gonna face a lot of shit in the future. So that's where I'm coming from when I write. Sometimes I write characters as what I couldn't be. But I don't forget what I can do. I don't lose sight of that possibility of things I have the ability to do. (That's pretty damn cheesy)

[Jashley13]

Halfway done!

I'm hoping to get the chapter done by at least Saturday morning. My wife and I are flying with my family out to Iowa for my grandfather's birthday. He's recently been moved to a nursing home so we're doing our best to make him happy and really cheer him up by having the whole family there. I'll be gone from Saturday-Monday so I wanna at least get the chapter out before I leave so there's not a big gap in my posts.

Btw, love all the theories and ideas. Honestly, I've considered making standalone 'WTF' stories based on She Is The One, just to incorporate the insanity.

See you guys soon!

[Mr_Fairplay]

I'm 55 with children and grandchildren, make a good amount of money, enjoy my work, am well respected...so life is good - and it totally sucked when I was your age.

Please don't give up hope - take a long term look on life. I've been married for 30 years, and there have been some downs, but I treat them as bumps in the road.

I wrote my story based on events in my life, but the story comes out much better than real life. I got the girl, at least for awhile. I've already written the last scene, where I say goodbye to that girl and take my place beside the woman I would marry, and realize "I am blessed."

I graduated high school without having ever kissed a girl. Unlike the story, I graduated college while still a virgin. My father constantly berated me for not being good enough. My parents divorced and I was torn trying to keep both of them happy with me. When I was 23 and not yet out of college my father threatened to throw me out unless I got a job. Crushed, I went to the house of my girlfriend of three months (the longest lasting of my life) for her to tell me she didn't want to see me anymore. But I survived.

I got a job flipping burgers, even if I had to ride my bicycle through the snow after wrecking my car. Four months later, after trying to date someone new, I went back to the first girl, took her out for Valentine's Day, and a year and a half later married her. (That was the only girl I ever dumped. She worked in the same restaurant, and just despised that I came in to the place with someone else, especially when that someone else had a ring and then was pregnant.)

I suffered so much pain, but I endured. I have to say how I met my wife. Absolutely true. I can't put in my story because so many people know. One day I went to my car. After not having even turned on the CB radio for over a year, a voice said, "Turn on the radio and see who's on." I knew it was not my voice that resides in my head. I looked around, saw nothing, but said out loud, "OK".

I was fascinated by the woman's voice I heard on the radio, and kept trying to break in to get her handle. Eventually she gave her location and I drove over to see the car, driven by her friend, pass by. I told them on the radio that I was following, but after a few red lights lost them until she said, "We're down here, where are you?" In two weeks it will be thirty-three years since that day. I thank God for leading me to her, and for her leading me to God.

Thanks man, i needed like a veteran at life, much like yourself, to tell em to hold on, to tell me that its worth it. I'm in college, i got absolutely no action in high school, hell most of my highschool years were spent in surviving sexual abuse (i got when i was 10, didn't tell anyone until recently), extreme bullying, and depression. I'm currently a junior in college, and for the first two years here,things were better than highschool, but not that much. Bullying continued and it made its way to social networking sites, were it not for a certain friend of mine i would not have been able to return, he helped me a lot through all that and showed me what i could do, who i'm truly am, then i met my best friend who recently graduated, she was the light in my darkness, with her i finally felt like i belonged somewhere, also she was the first person who i ever told about my abuse. Shortly i had turned 20, i met my first girlfriend, she was amazing but it was long distance and it did not work out, she was the first girl i ever loved and even a second spent with her felt like i was on cloud 9, shortly after she went away, but before she went away she told me somethings that plague my mind to this very day, in a way she got through all my defenses and broke apart my insides, i'm learning to move on now, its slow but im getting there. I had my first kiss a month after we broke up, with another friend of mine, she was the second person who i ever told, we fooled around some but never gotten further than 2nd base, that went on for roughly a month and since then i haven't gotten any action. Before me and my ex, the long distance one, Emily was here name, broke up she told me she wanted a MMF threesome, now i won't lie, before i met her i had that fantasy myself, but after her...well, things change and i couldn't even stand the idea of another man touching my girl, i declined and we moved on from that conversation and never paid any mind to it...until 3 months ago.

For the last three or so i'm going through a mental and emotional hell, much like the same thing Kayla is going through. I dunno how it came to be, but i stumbled upon some material that focused on what Emily wanted from me, i was searching for regular porn and i accidentally clicked on something that lead me to amateur threesome, swinger porn, that sorta stuff. It triggered a delayed much more intense response to Emily asking me for a MMF threesome, as a result i lost hope. I lost sight of the only thing that was driving me forward, a nice quite life with the woman i love, in its stead i had to endure images of my future girl getting it on with some guy. It got worse recently, so much that i had to seek out therapy.

My point is not a pissing contest that who life's screwing harder, nor am i crying over my somewhat f---ed up life, but my point is that we all went through, are going through, and in the case of @thismy and me, will probably go through a lot of hardship and pain. Looking back over every experience that I've been through, i wouldn't change a damn thing, because every experience taught me a valuable lesson or something about myself, and because of that i've become better each time. All i wanted to know that is it worth it, is it worth going through all of this shit? and thanks to you @Joe Long, i have my answer, that yeah, it is worth it, that she is worth it. Thanks for your words man, i needed them.

Edited June 23, 2015 by Mr_Fairplay

[Mr_Fairplay]

Yeah, that's the truth. Lots of times, life sucks. It kicks you while you're down and then laughs. But so often, people forget what's ahead of them. I'm not going to sit here and say my life is awful. It isn't. But I sure as hell don't live a great life. Yeah, I'm better off than what, 90% of the rest of the world? Just because I live in America. (But man, fuck those people you shame you for having problems. If you tell someone about a problem, and they make some reference to kids in Africa or something like that, fuck them. They're shits. That type of response/ideal peeves me so much.)

Some things seem to get better with age, others get worse. (I'm not a sage though, I'm 19) I write based off my somewhat limited experience. Good and bad. I'm sorta like Joe Long, relationship wise. I've had one girlfriend. Still a virgin.(I've not really decided what I think about that one.) For the longest time, I didn't fit in with any group of my friends. I drifted and didn't hang out. I was lonely. Hell, right now I'm semi-depressed because I'm still lonely. Wait. Where am I going with this?

Ah. I my point being, life has ups and downs. Joe Long's post seems to sum that up. I'm sure I'm gonna face a lot of shit in the future. So that's where I'm coming from when I write. Sometimes I write characters as what I couldn't be. But I don't forget what I can do. I don't lose sight of that possibility of things I have the ability to do. (That's pretty damn cheesy)

Dude, you're totally right, yeah life sucks, and everyone is going through their personal hell, just because someone else isn't going through the same shit as you does not give them the right to tell you to just shut up, seriously that Africa excuse is just wrong.

I'm 20, i'm still a virgin, hell i had my first kiss when i turned 20. You're story is similar to mine as well, i can't fit in still, and maybe i'm depressed (i dunno how i feel about that).

Actually, i'm thinking of writing my story on a character that i couldn't be, that i want to be, someone who i should have been. I have summer school, and its coming to an end in a couple of weeks, so my instructors are frantic and everything is just way too hectic for me to write, i'll probably start in the the first or second week of July.

[Guest Gorbox]

Five Guys has some of the best fast food burgers. Smash burger is too greasy for me, and most other fast food restaurant just don't compare. I can't quite remember eating at Whataburger, or steak and shake, but I don't think they were that great. However, if you've heard of Freddy's, they have some great burgers. If we're talking cost, it's near the same as Five Guys, but most food is more expensive now a days. Taco Bell has the best bang for your buck, IMO.

Freddy Fazbear's?

[Joe Long]

I was not intending to compare our miseries.

I felt I needed to share, to offer encouragement, to show that it's something that many of us suffer through but to have faith and persevere.

I still have anxieties, but it's not nearly what I used to endure. My weak spot is sex, something I didn't experience back then and unfortunately not now. I've never touched anyone else since I've been married, and only once tried to. But I do have wandering eyes and fantasies.

I love my wife but sometimes she's mean, and there have been times I've needed affirmation, that I am someone others want to be friends with. Ten years ago everyone I knew was either at work, church or family. I really didn't get out much. In the years since I've been in the public eye with my hobby (which is turning into a consulting business) and that's given me a chance to interact with many new people and for me to have faith in my ability do develop friendly as well as professional relationships with men and women. I went from catfishing on MySpace to openly having female friends and followers on Twitter, who enjoy me for being me.

Edited June 23, 2015 by Joe Long

[thismy]

Freddy Fazbear's?

No, just "Freddy's." I ate there today actually. The chicken tenders are pretty good. (I also sorta have a crush on this cute girl who sometimes works the register.)

Edit: oh! I get it now. 5 nights at Freddy's. I guess I'm uncultured haha.

Edited June 23, 2015 by thismy

[thismy]

My wife and I are flying with my family out to Iowa for my grandfather's birthday.

Hey, I'll be traveling through Iowa on Saturday! Who knows, maybe we'll run into each other unknowingly. (Haha, not likely)

[Guest Bill]

Thank you Joe for the update. Have fun with all of the family and looking forward to Saturday. Hope life will let you keep that deadline.

[Mr_Fairplay]

I was not intending to compare our miseries.

I felt I needed to share, to offer encouragement, to show that it's something that many of us suffer through but to have faith and persevere.

I still have anxieties, but it's not nearly what I used to endure. My weak spot is sex, something I didn't experience back then and unfortunately not now. I've never touched anyone else since I've been married, and only once tried to. But I do have wandering eyes and fantasies.

I love my wife but sometimes she's mean, and there have been times I've needed affirmation, that I am someone others want to be friends with. Ten years ago everyone I knew was either at work, church or family. I really didn't get out much. In the years since I've been in the public eye with my hobby (which is turning into a consulting business) and that's given me a chance to interact with many new people and for me to have faith in my ability do develop friendly as well as professional relationships with men and women. I went from catfishing on MySpace to openly having female friends and followers on Twitter, who enjoy me for being me.

Dude, it was not my intention either, and yeah i shared too, it felt good to do so and after hearing your story, i know i have to hang on, i know i won't give up.

I can relate to your anxieties my friend, i used to have the same problems not too long ago, you remember what i said about a friend helping me? Yeah, so i read a book in which a character much like myself, uses magic tricks, (up close and personal, street magic, card trick stuff) to get over some problems, mainly approach anxiety and other issues, so i sorta followed his example, at first my main goal was to get a date, somehow impress the girl and take her out (keep in mind, i was still a teenager back then, and kinda stupid), i never got the date, but i t helped me with my anxiety problems, allowed me to handle stressful situations ( it is quite stressing when you know every eye is on you and you can't screw up), but most importantly i made friends, more friends than i can count, and most of them were female.

In y previous post, which actually prompted you to reply by sharing (which has taught me a valuable lesson, thank you for that), i seem quite depressed, because my find was, and is somewhat, filled with doubt, and it's killing me, i went to the shrink for this reason among the nightmares, i will not share it over here publically but if you want PM me and i will tell you, i think you may be able to help me.

And once again, Thank You, you have helped me out in more ways than you know.

[Mr_Fairplay]

I also sorta have a crush on this cute girl who sometimes works the register.

Ask her out? come on what's the worst that can happen?

[thismy]

Ask her out? come on what's the worst that can happen?

Haha thanks, but there's my anxiety. I have a massive fear of rejection. I'm working on it, but yeah. Also I don't know her. I know her name, and that's about it. I mean, she recognizes me, but I don't know.

[that-one-guy]

Haha thanks, but there's my anxiety. I have a massive fear of rejection. I'm working on it, but yeah. Also I don't know her. I know her name, and that's about it. I mean, she recognizes me, but I don't know.

I too have a fear of rejection, or rather the repercussions from it (she talks, thinks badly of me, others then think the same way yada yada yada) but there has been a few occasions where I thought 'fuck it, its worth the risk' every single time I was shot down. But oddly it didn't affect me, I just seemed to keep going. Just saying to yourself 'fuck it' and going and doing the thing your afraid of is often the best course of action to fixing those problems. Staying optimistic helps too, not to the point of banking everything on a yes but just hoping that it works out. Pretty long winded way of me saying 'just do it'

[Joe Long]

Haha thanks, but there's my anxiety. I have a massive fear of rejection. I'm working on it, but yeah. Also I don't know her. I know her name, and that's about it. I mean, she recognizes me, but I don't know.

That was EXACTLY my problem, especially at that age. However, with each girl that I did have some sort of relationship with the easier it became, a step at a time, until I was married.

Later on the easiest place to run into attractive young ladies was at the checkout register. Even into my 30's it was still hard to even strike up a conversation with a good looking cashier. Now I chat with most of them.

Especially now that I'm going back to do some big edits on my story, I'm using the character of Hannah, my girlfriend, to be the one who engages and challenges me on these issues. I haven't told my wife that I'm writing, but I have discussed things like my relationship with my father, and even now, 35 years later, I'm understanding more of what it was all about. He wasn't necessarily wrong, but his people skills sucked.

I didn't have a girlfriend at that age (19-20) and I didn't have anyone to talk to about how I felt, but in the story Hannah serves both purposes, even if [spoiler ALERT] it ends in a spectacular crash and burn. But even out of those ashes, I survived, matured, and found the woman I married. Not the standard "lives happily ever after' format.

Edited June 23, 2015 by Joe Long

[Joe Long]

Staying optimistic helps too, not to the point of banking everything on a yes but just hoping that it works out. Pretty long winded way of me saying 'just do it'

Yes!

As long as you're not an ass, what can she say bad about you? Just move on.

My son doesn't have any problem getting a girl, but takes break ups way too hard. Gotta let it slide off.

[thismy]

@Joe Long, that-one-guy, thanks for the encouragement. Maybe I'll give it a shot. It's the getting the girl part. I seem to handle breakups well. (I've only had one though).

In other news, my motivation to write is all over the place, but I've been on it the past two days, which is nice.

[Jashley13]

@thismy

I say go for it and all the best of luck. Trust me, I went through the same thing. I don't subscribe to the whole, "Worst thing that can happen is she says 'no'" line of thinking, just because it never seemed to work for me. My best advice is to make it a casual offer. My first girlfriend and I went to the musical our high school was putting on. Something that doesn't scream DATE but that acts as a fun social thing you two can do together. The more of those you go on, the more intimate they can be. I've never known a girl who wouldn't rather hang out with a guy she likes in a casual setting than immediately go for the formal 'suit-and-tie restaurant' date.

On another note:

I've been getting more than a few queries in messages about if I'm going to set up a Patreon for the story. While it would be nice to have some extra cash, I feel like it would be unfair. Patreons seem to run based on a cash-and-reward system. If I get a monthly donation from readers, what would the reward be? More chapters? I've been giving you guys plenty for free up until this point and it seems rather unfair to start now. I appreciate the thought and, like I said, money is always good to have, but I can't make myself ask for money for something I've been giving for free until now. It wouldn't be fair to you guys.

Edited June 24, 2015 by Jashley13