Reviews that make you go "hmmm?"

[Guest Madapple]

OUAT, I wrote a HP Erised fic.

Being in that genre, it only made sense that the fic featured the inscription on the mirror, right?

It wasn't prominently placed, but I managed to type the whole thing in correctly, backwards, as it is written in canon.

Anyway, a few days later, I received a review that congratulated me for being so "clever as to think of the concept," and was I "planning to use this plot bunny" for any more stories?

*ahem* Yes, and maybe JKR could borrow it for one of her little fics, too.

[Nanaea]

I saw that review too, and I was like, wtf?

[Hermione Malfoy]

It just goes to show that half the people who read and sometimes write fanfic only watch the films.

Harry/Hermione shippers mainly... I'm sure if they read the books they'd realise how ridiculous that pairing is.

I've had one person reviewing saying that Hermione is a clever, brave strong person... when even Jo has said that Hermione is the LEAST secure of the trio and the one that we should worry about.

I think most of these people should take a little trip to JKR.com occasionally... all the information I get is from there as it's the most reliable source for information. All the rest is media hype and speculation.

[WotanAnubis]

Harry/Hermione shippers mainly... I'm sure if they read the books they'd realise how ridiculous that pairing is.

Forgive me, but... as a person with Hermione/Lucius and Hermione/Snape signatures, I'm not quite sure your point is totally valid.

Unless you recognise the ridiculousness of those pairings, of course, and just ship them for some reason other than potential realism.

[NightScribe]

This is a bit off point, but re: Harry/Hermione shipping....

That pairing makes total sense to me. Hermione's parents are Muggles, Harry was raised by Muggles, so they have that commonality. The films probably do influence the 'ship' as the actors look good together (and, personally, my instinct tells me that the vast majority, like 98%, of SS/HG or LM/HG "shippers" are writing SI CanonSues).

Back to the point: Madapple, you didn't answer the question: are you going to be using that amazing plot bunny some more???

[Nanaea]

(and, personally, my instinct tells me that the vast majority, like 98%, of SS/HG or LM/HG "shippers" are writing SI CanonSues).

Guilty as charged, most likely....

[NightScribe]

Guilty as charged, most likely....

Hey, who wouldn't want to hook up with Severus or Lucius? Those bad, bad boys!

[Guest Yhitzak]

It had been a while since I'd checked out my reviews for stuff I've got on the fiction site. Here's a gem I wouldn't mind sharing while we're on the topic of reviews that make you raise a brow and cock your head.

The first line of an eight-paragraph review:

You are so long-winded!

part of the same review:

I'm sure that some people who read this will feel that that is what you stated, even though it states that that is not what you mean by it.

I write essays, and it *kills* me, the responses I get. I'm not the world's best essayist by any stretch of the imagination, but I do have to laugh at the reviews that I get; most of them either reiterate the point I tried to make in a manner that is far more confusing than it is enlightening, or they make the opposite point that I made. Makes me wish that reviewers actually knew how to read. Or even to express themselves *somewhat* adequately.

[Guest Madapple]

Back to the point: Madapple, you didn't answer the question: are you going to be using that amazing plot bunny some more??? 

It's appalling really. I never understand how people can watch those movies but have no interest in the books. They READ fanfiction, FCS. I've seen HP fics with 90 chapters.

*ahem* sorry, ranting.

To answer your question NightScribe, if my prodigal muse ever returns I just may. Yes, indeed, I just may.

First I have to finish my FL/UM fic. (Yes, you read that right Mundungus and Delores.) This bit of fic squick you can blame on Daz!

[NightScribe]

First I have to finish my FL/UM fic. (Yes, you read that right Mundungus and Delores.) This bit of fic squick you can blame on Daz!

I am definitely going to have to check out that bit of squicky goodness (badness?)

[dazzledfirestar]

First I have to finish my FL/UM fic. (Yes, you read that right Mundungus and Delores.) This bit of fic squick you can blame on Daz!

Heyheyhey there missy! Don't go blaming me!

Anyway, as for silly reviews... well, my favorites are always the ones on fics that are clearly labeled as complete/finished. You all know the ones I'm talking about. But my favorite at the moment is on a fic I finished I don't know how long ago. Its very simple...

wut is taking uu soooo long? jeeez

Oh wow... What else can one say to this?

[EveKnight75]

One thing that I really hate is a thread that veers wildly off-topic like this one.

I haven't deleted any posts yet because we seem to be steering back to the original post. However, if this thread starts going significantly off-topic again, I might have to consider deleting individual posts and sending out warnings, if not deleting the thread itself.

Now that I've done the mod rant...

There have been a handful of people who didn't catch on to the Erised/Desire thing right away. Just because they didn't notice something obvious right away doesn't make them complete idiots. Maybe they just plain stink at word patterns/games.

Still, I can't blame you for blinking at the review. You'd think those who didn't catch on at the beginning would know by now.

I don't think I've received a review where someone managed to overlook an important canon detail that ties in my fics. In fact, it's been the opposite so far, and that pleases me. Then again, people who are involved in a small fandom tend to be a bit more obsessive over the canon material.

Now to piss of the mod:

I'm a Ron/Hermione fan. The ship makes sense to me in that there's a definite strong attraction in the books and their personalities play off each other well despite the arguing. I see a strong sibling vibe between Harry and Hermione in the books for the reasons Scribe has stated. As far as the movies go, there was excellent chemistry in the air between Grint and Watson in the first two movies, but is shifted to Radcliffe and Watson in the second two movies, partially because the majority of the portions that concentrate on Ron and Hermione's developing friendship/relationship in the books is cut out of the movies. What's really screwed up is that GoF is supposed to be the pivotal point where we see R/H begin to cross the platonic line, but the movie fails to focus on that by having Harry be more astonished than Ron during Hermione's ball entrance scene.

It's not just about the acting and the chemistry, it's about editing and the finer points of direction and camera angles.

[NinjaGaijin]

Bump to revive an old topic with a different start.

Sometimes, when one praises his own work, one forgot to log off.

'golden torizo fucks samus'

h++p://games.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600081895

'golden torizo fucks samus: rave reviews'

h++p://games.adult-fanfiction.org/review.php?set=read&no=600081895

[Ginevra]

Here's one of my all time favorites:

damn....god that was fuckin funny.... i;m seriouse i have read hundreds of stories and i have never shot rice out of my nose while reading it... really i was eating supper and then you started in the robin is a dick jokes... i fired rice onto my keyboard.... really rice from the nose... quite painfull actually.....

Not exactly constructive criticism...But, Oh! What an image! I love it when my readers make me laugh.

And here's another for the same story, left by an anonymous reviewer:

nshth

Huh? I even tried looking it up in the Urban Dictionary just in case it was some Netspeak thing that I just haven't encountered before. Nada. Nothing.

[WotanAnubis]

Bump to revive an old topic with a different start.

Sometimes, when one praises his own work, one forgot to log off.

'golden torizo fucks samus'

h++p://games.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600081895

'golden torizo fucks samus: rave reviews'

h++p://games.adult-fanfiction.org/review.php?set=read&no=600081895

Somehow I think that's a troll of some sort.

[Keith Inc.]

I get weird and confused responses to some of my shrinking stories, but the oddest has to have been to a story where i experimented with the 'last man on a world of amazons' cliche.

This is only part of a review for: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/review...ad&no=544202902

FIGHT MAN RUN!!! IF ONE DAY WOMAN CONQUER THE WORLD WERE IN DEEP SHIT!!! I MEAN IT THEY WILL BE COMING FOR US!THERE WILL BE WOMANS RAPISTS, PERVERTED WOMANS,AND CHILD RAPIST WOMANS. SO WERES MY ADVICE STOP THAT FUCKING AND RAPING, ABUSING WOMANS. BECAUSE THAT SHIT ONE THAY WILL HAPPEN TO US BELIEVE ME!

[DrunkenScotsman]

I got quite a few reviews for my latest story, Down Under (X-Men/Marvel fandom), where one of my reviewers kept missing vital plot points and called my quasi-OC (it's complicated: http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/index.php/topic/26889-down-under/ for details) a Gary Stu, despite the fact that he had several flaws.

Link to the reviews, and feel free to read the story also, of course: http://xmen.adult-fanfiction.org/review.php?set=read&no=600090845

[Dirty Unicorn]

Is it cool to share WTF reviews left on other peoples’ fics? I like reading reviews just to see what’s being said about the story, and oh man have I seen some stuff.

For example, there’s this guy who goes around reviewing Marvel/DC superhero fic, and this is his handiwork:

Quote

Mankind longs to be good, but at the same time we applaud the swift and brutal defeats of those in the wrong

Gotham City is a representation of everything that could possibly go wrong in a modern urban landscape. The system has broken down to a nightmarish degree. Corruption is rampant at every level of government. Street crime and urban blight are so prevalent that they're just considered part of everyday life. Even the most outwardly decent individual is just one traumatic experience from transforming into a baroque Serial Killer. The conventional forces for Law and order consistently fail to address the problems of the society they were created to serve, which necessitates the appearance of a non-conventional force (ie. a vigilante who makes extensive use of psychological warfare and theatrics, rather than logic and procedure). Modern society's problems have grown too large and too complex for its traditional ethics to address. Something new must be created to deal with these problems.

Which brings us to The Joker. He is the extreme of criminal behavior that law is unable to resolve. A constant throughout the series is that Joker can not be redeemed. His madness cannot be treated or cured. In fact his madness is slightly contagious; trying to analyze him, or in some cases just spending a significant amount of time in his proximity, may drive you mad as well. He can't be contained either; imprison him and he'll just break out again. Only one thing can really be done with him...and no representative of law and order - not even Gotham's extraordinary agent of it - is willing or able to do that. Thou Shalt Not Kill is the one rule that no one will break, even though it will quite handily solve the unsolvable problem of the Joker, and that is presented to us as a good thing. Unfortunately traditional concepts of "good" and "evil" do not apply in a place like Gotham. The city has been abandoned by God, and the only reason God's laws hold any sway at all is because it gives them comfort to the citizens of the city to believe that they do. The Joker's continued existence - and the continued reign of terror he engages in - is the inevitable end product of the moral myopia/moral hypocrisy of Gotham City. Everyone in Gotham - including the vigilante who is technically outside the system - is applying a system of morality to a situation where it is no longer relevant, and in the process contributing to their own self-destruction

I believe the general rule is do or at least try to do more good than harm

The Authority save more than they kill

The world needs men like Luthor not men like Batman check out Extermination from Boom

Wouldn't it have been better if his father had a gun and killed the mugger in self defense

Respectful when Supes is with Mr. Majestic or when he said a prayer for Tommy Monaghan not the condescension with other anti heroes like Manchester Black or Magog

Robin Hood fought against unfair taxes not the honest merchants

forced charity is not charity

Yes a Mega Corp can screw you over for your money just like a government can but it's usually killing the goose that lays the golden egg, there is no glory in ruling over starving beat down idiots but strong healthy people

A flat tax does help everyone so who cares if it helps the wealthy more, stop crying the other boy was faster so that's why he gets a trophy we're all going out for ice cream so shut up

American Dream is not picket fence etc, what people forget is it's the PURSUIT of happiness not do nothing and get a roof, food, etc., it's a chance to save your pennies and then get an education with no one saying you can't rise above your station simply "Independence" surviving in life depend not on your connections to the powerful few, but rather by one's own diligence, hard work, and a bit of luck, the Ankh-Morporkian Dream, that of "making boatloads of cash in a place where your death was not likely to be a matter of public policy"

redistribution of wealth usually does more harm than good

the Front Line they ruthlessly enforce civil liberties in the sixties, they stop France from getting nukes, and destroy Iran's oil reserves to nip terrorism in the bud, they're first degree $$holes who only do these things because they're good for business but they made their world better than ours and when they're taken down the world goes to straight to hell

In Black SummerTom Noir: "You want to change the nature of justice in America and you kill a president? What did you think that made you? Two-fisted Super-Jesus for the American Way? It made you Lee Harvey Oswald, you prick. You know what? Lots of people hated John F. Kennedy. He barely got elected. But Lee Harvey Oswald isn't remembered as an American hero. Just a prick who killed the president. That's you now, John."

A man's motives are second to his accomplishments say you want to make a statement about the third of the planet that is starving to death so you light yourself on fire in front of an embassy, but you don't actually help a single child, but if you go to these places to build a legitimate business and make money and actually develop the country and improve their standard of living you actually DO help

the nominal good guys aren’t willing to get their hands dirty or bloody or they don’t have the power, competence, or ability to act at the moment

Society's failures to provide for the elderly, the infirm, and the young (though we must also teach them to take care of themselves when they grow up) it must also not take away someone's pride and dignity some would rather die than give up their pride one shouldn't force them to live with shame and humiliation

Luthor IS the second smartest person in the universe after Brainiac but his creativity, ingenuity, and inventiveness makes up for the lack in raw brain power remember Red Son he did engineer a golden age that lasted millions of years of no poverty, war, crime, terrorism, science and art advance and so forth

Without property rights there are no human rights

Not everyone gets a trust fund, when you’re hungry you become a thief or killer if you have to

I have a family f* you and your high and mighty B.S. we little people can’t depend on you at all times

You keep poking a tiger eventually it’s going to bite you

Taking the law into your own hands is bad, dangerous, and more than a little crazy again not saying black ops don't have their necessity, they can be used as a force of good

we don't have to like, aid, or support them, normal people shouldn't have to, if you come from a loving family and a happy life you aren't and shouldn't be a tough guy but we don't always have sociopaths with codes sometimes normal people need to man up

There are no human rights without property rights

when you're hungry and you want to feed your starving family you steal bread to survive

Work out the logistics don't give some pie in the sky BS

asking people to lay down their lives for a higher cause believe in is not the same as asking them to just lay down and die it is wrong and stupid to ask someone to give up their self-preservation instincts

thieves have to be clever, quick, and brave, bootlickers only have to lick boots true the snob mentality isn't something they've created and is a major problem we all need to deal with but you shouldn't ask someone to give up their pride and dignity either and them acting like school bullies doesn't help

there are times to stand up for yourself and times to swallow your pride

Sinestro’s planet was lawless and wild And in the end of the Sinestro Corps War, Sinestro admits that what he really wanted was to improve the Green Lantern Corps, making them accept the use of deadly-force when necessary. He achieved his ends either way.

His people are practically BEGGING his daughter (the new Green Lantern of that sector) to become the next dictator

Stand for what you believe until and unless logic and/or experience prove you wrong

Bend the knee you can rise again if you’re dead you kind of have to stay dead unless you’re one of the people who put your underpants on the outside apparently

There are good and bad rich people and there are good and bad poor people and there are good and bad middle class people a civilized man accuses specific individuals of specific crime (felony and fraud)
Batman 1,000,000/3000/Beyond

Barbatos

One of Bruce's ancestors was framed for witchcraft by Vandal Savage in the Middle Ages, another ancestor wasa knight of the Round Table who betrayed King Arthur, his spirit inhabit his armor to seek redemption

Azrael

King Arthur and the Knights of Justice

Batman: Book of the Dead, Bruce Wayne's parents were archaeologists who were on the verge of cracking open a major conspiracy involving an Egyptian bat-god who was erased from history. They are murdered before Bruce's eyes due to their discovery, and Bruce becomes Batman when he is inspired by the bat cartouche that the assassin was really after.

Batman: Haunted Gotham Gotham City was taken over by the Dark Lords of Hell centuries ago. Bruce Wayne is raised by his parents to strike against them, and is joined in his quest by a skeleton named Cal and a sorceress named Cat Majik

Captain Thug did get uploaded with Batman's skills

Falcone, Maroni, Thorne, Blockbuster, Bruno Manheim and Intergang

Cobblepots along with Waynes, Kanes, and Elliots were Gotham's founding families

Female Furies Artemiz, Sweet Leilani, K'li, Bloody Mary, Alianna

Terror Twins, Black Spider, Enigma, Joker's Daughter

Slobo, Gilotina

Red X, Blackfire, Rorek, Kyd Wykkyd, Johnny Rancid, Jinx,Control Freak- Reality Warping Super Remote Control Antigrav Jetboots/astrojitsu-mystic martial arts-energy ball/quadruple bladed lightsaber/fundamental forces of the universe blaster/power bands

Theana

Sivana family- scientifically mimic Shazam magic lightning

Despero

Queen Clea

Helspont

This is real, and it’s not the only one he’s posted. There's more, but they’re also very long (and rambling), hence why I just linked to them.

Edited May 25, 2018 by Dirty Unicorn

[Desiderius Price]

While it’s a review, I’m trying to figure out if he got the post-a-story link confused with the review link.

[Dirty Unicorn]

What’s so bad is about all this that he just goes around posting the same rambles everywhere. Reviews that aren't actually reviews bug me. He’d be better off just getting a blog and posting his deep thoughts on superheroes and comics there.

I’m not even sure what this devolved into towards the end there…