Guest Helluin Posted November 29, 2006 Report Share Posted November 29, 2006 I haven't had any funny reviews yet, although "Wow, and I thought Seymour was a perv" was mildly cute. But a lot of you more experienced authors probably have gotten your share of deliberately or accidentally entertaining reviews. I'd love to see some! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WotanAnubis Posted November 29, 2006 Report Share Posted November 29, 2006 I think this one must be my favourite constructive criticism ever: Too much "cock". And this is absolutely true. When talking about the male organ, I almost always use 'cock', with the occasional 'penis' in the preliminary stages and the occasional 'shaft' if we're talking about a blowjob or something. But other than that, it's pretty much 'cock' all the way. That is, unfortunately, also because there are very few words for 'penis' that I find acceptable in the kind of stories I write. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squallfan Posted November 29, 2006 Report Share Posted November 29, 2006 Here's two favorites I got from the same reviewer from my CloudXScarlet rape fic. Sephiroth 2006-11-02 id # 3000014621 (laying on couch talking to a shrink) I was just climbing the Shinra Tower to kill the President when I saw something so terrible I cannot even recall, a simple assassination turned into a slaughter of everybody that came near me. I didn't mean to kill all those other people, I swear. Seriously, sick yet intriguing. Sephiroth 2006-11-05 id # 3000014696 "For the love of God, can you please just have me kill Scarlet instead of Aeris?!" Heh heh. Once again, this story was like roadkill in a good way. You want to look away and yet you cannot, though I must thank you for sparring Cloud long chunky details. Psst, is she gonna call Barret or Red XIII in next? Red XIII: *sigh* Everybody in the Shinra wants me to fuck somebody. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsliver Posted November 29, 2006 Report Share Posted November 29, 2006 My first review for From the Looking Glass: Whew, that was some powerful drug. My heart is racing. (Leans head back and closes eyes.) types gibberisht. Hey, i can still type with my eyes closed. (Opens eyes) God that was good. (Lights cigarette) because of the t in gibberish I always read it as gibberSHIT Also my favorite review of all time I am only writing this review because Motorhead rule. I haven't achieved this title, maybe one day.l You've done a Shiz/Naru, a Tsu/Nar, the next step is a Shiz/Tsu/Naru extravaganza, and once again you'll be the first to do so, like a Columbus of smut. Columbus of Smut? I like it. It's got a riiing to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nanaea Posted November 29, 2006 Report Share Posted November 29, 2006 This is the closest I've gotten to a funny review: I realized I've only given you two measley reviews for .. SEVEN chapters! So here's a third general overall type of review to make up for my lack of reviewing so far. a ) I really like your story. b ) I think it would be amusing if Snape's 'Draco and Hermione' scheme backfires in actually making him jealous. xDD [but it's your story, you could have her shagging Hagrid without so much of an eyebrow quirk from Snape if you wanted to.. but ewww why would you pick Hagrid?? T_T ] c ) HOT HOT HOT d ) Glad to see a nasty Severus Don't make him sentimental or soft! Or else I would most likely stop reading your story.. especially if he makes one of his speeches where it's supposedly hard for him to relate his feelings, but where he so eloquantly puts them like a well versed poet. e ) Yes I am a rather annoying reviewer who spouts opinions... hope you don't mind. f )FUCKING! g ) Don't ask what F was about. Please. h ) Is Hermione going to get pregnant? That would be a mess if she did. "Who's the father? xD" i ) So how many fantasies does Hermione have? I mean if he's gonna make ALL of her fantasies come true [hehe] .. how long is this going to take? Hopefully long.. j ) ok I'll shut up now, you probably don't want to go through the entire alphabet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Big Samurai Posted November 29, 2006 Report Share Posted November 29, 2006 My review pile was invaded by a mad Russian. That's all I'll say about that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WotanAnubis Posted November 29, 2006 Report Share Posted November 29, 2006 My review pile was invaded by a mad Russian. That's all I'll say about that. Crazy Ivan? Meh, he's not that funny in my opinion. More... random. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Big Samurai Posted November 29, 2006 Report Share Posted November 29, 2006 Meh, he's not that funny in my opinion. More... random. Ah, you've met him, I see. He's a fairly prolific reviewer, though, yes, he's pretty random. It's kinda like having Mork from Ork on the site. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foeofthelance Posted November 30, 2006 Report Share Posted November 30, 2006 Most amusing I eer got was some guy (might have been a girl) ask if I would marry them. I thought the relationship hadn't gone far enough, and thus called it off in the end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iggy_lovechild Posted November 30, 2006 Report Share Posted November 30, 2006 This made me chuckle, because yeah: I ask myself this question every day and it's nice to know I'm not the only one confused. reallly amazing. why the hell dont you have more reviews??? im really really picky dude. For the record I got this review on mm.org, where I get very few. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StoryJunkie Posted November 30, 2006 Report Share Posted November 30, 2006 gu 2005-07-21 ch 1, anon. i once heard that the f word was born when a scottish golfer in the 17 hundreds knocked his golf ball into a crowd and tried to say four and duck at the sametime. (regarding an essay I wrote on the origins of the "F" Word.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lightgoddess Posted November 30, 2006 Report Share Posted November 30, 2006 My most entertaining reviews, by far, come from Zak and Ivan, a gay couple who read here on AFF. zak, just the gay guy (Email Hidden) 2005-03-15 id # 2035181779 Oh! How exciting, Ivan... well he was bi when I met him... I've never really done much with a girl... so while talking about lesbiens caused me to hit Ivan (I'm currently sitting on his lap while he points out spelling mistakes that I'm too lazy to change) because he began to banter on about some experience he had. Lol he actually got hard, omg what a fool. He's telling me to get my "Lazy ass" off him so that he can take care of something. To bad I'm gonna make him wait till I'm done rambling. He sighed, he knows how much I like to go on. It's true Zak likes to rant about nothing at all. Hey! Just 'cause you do that thing with your tongue involving my ear does not mean you can... can what? Write stuff? To bad your to busy moaning to see what I'm writing. I know Zak too well for my own sanity. He likes to... gah... don't rock your hips! Hahahaha! I got it back~! He's telling me to shut up and come to bed with him or he's going to shag me right here on top of our laptop. He wants to have me dres hwsdfxnjmgc don't tell her/him that! Dress in INf fdh hf FINE TELL HER! Hahaha, I always win, might be the bottom but I ALWAYS get my way. Dress in either Leather (Poor Ivan burried his head into my shoulder, and I know he's blushing! Aww...) or haha, here's an idea for Harry to walk into Thad doing... it's cliche but who the fuck cares it's damn hot if done right, doing the school girl thing. You know what I'm talking about. Awww Ivan... I'll dress up only for you. (Kisses always appease him) But telling people is another thing. I remember this one time when omg it was really funny... Our friends (A VERY straight couple not anti gay but just not wanting to see it) walked in on Ivan, naked, and me with a skirt pulled up sitting on Ivan's work desk. We kinda lost contact with them, meh it was worth it. The look on their faces when they saw my japanese style make up and knee high socks. Oh god, worth everything. They were my best friends Zak If they were they wouldn't have left after seeing you and me shagging. I mean are we that ugly. I'm what 5'3'' and your 6'1'' and I'm skinny your kinda fit-ish... kinda... your pretty much as skinny as me but you work out. And that hair! Ooh the color makes me hard just looking at it God it does... wtf... Zak your a horny little... yeah... I know... but your still hard... wELL YOUR NOT EXACTLY HELPING (caps lock sorry) Hahaha, I'm not am I? Rocking my hips, spreading my cheeks? Shut it Eyes watching your ooh so sexy blue messy hair God why did I ever marry you 'cause you LURVE me!!! Yes... but I think I was tipsy when I agreed to that Yes you were, but so was I so it evens itself out Your insane And you love it God your going mushy on me, go put on that skirt now, it'll really suit you in your state of girly ness Just 'cause pink is my favorite color doesn't mean anything Your hair is Purple Zak... Purple... and your pants are tight as god... I need to shut up, the tent in my pants is still there, and it could withstand a storm Did I make you this? Yes I'll have to rid you of the burdon, let me get ready. Give me ten mins Thank god. Finally he leaves. Now I get a finally get me some... well I guess I could say ass 'cause I am getting that... but... that's kinda vulgar... omg... I should not send this but Zaky would kill me. God I love him to death ~Zak, just the gay guy -Ivan (I don't have some witty thing after my name, your an author make me one hehe.) This was the first one I ever got from them. ALL of them are this long... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Helluin Posted November 30, 2006 Report Share Posted November 30, 2006 *dies* Oh. My. Gods. There is no such things as TMI on AFF, is there? Very entertaining, interspersed with tiny bits of feedback! I think they should have a blog, titled something like... GET OFF THE KEYBOARD OR GET OFF MY LAP, SUGAR LUMP! (That's not sugar.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EveKnight75 Posted December 2, 2006 Report Share Posted December 2, 2006 momo: familienangelegenheit!!lawyer: Wow... is that legal? momo: NEIN!! lawyer: interesting story though. momo: so... when does IT actually happen, huh?? i mean, COME ON. WE NEED A ZITRONE!! lawyer: Y-yes... Usually, I don't like the type of review that involves a conversation between two personas because they tend to come off stupid. This, however, was really funny, and I loved it. It gave me a good laugh just when I needed it. Diana and Martin make such a nice pair!!You're really good at this... Oh God...this is torture! Update now!! Hey! You're not updating!! Usually, I can't stand the "Update!" reviews, but this one just struck me as funny in a good way for some reason. BTW, I'm just a wee bit upset at StoryJunkie for reviewing someone else's Brady Bunch fic but neither of mine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StoryJunkie Posted December 2, 2006 Report Share Posted December 2, 2006 I..I...I...I've not been reading much at the actual site. This forum is so so distracting. And that other review was back in July when probably, I knew you not as the queen of Brady fanfics! I did have a glance at the one where Alice is being interviewed...it is quite coherent! (Is there a "guilty" or "abashed" smiley? I sure would be usin it now) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TrekQueen Posted December 6, 2006 Report Share Posted December 6, 2006 I haven't had any funny reviews yet, although "Wow, and I thought Seymour was a perv" was mildly cute. But a lot of you more experienced authors probably have gotten your share of deliberately or accidentally entertaining reviews. I'd love to see some! Maybe that was the same guy who left this review on my FFX/X-2 fic No Regrets: pissed off person fuck@fackago.com 2006-11-29 id # 3000015217go kill yourself, characters are waaayyyyy off retarded Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squallfan Posted December 27, 2006 Report Share Posted December 27, 2006 I just saw this one on my SephXCloud fic. Should I be getting a bodyguard? Millie Ishtar Motou 2006-12-26 id # 3000015767 OKAY UPDATE OR DIE GOT IT MEMORIZED??? Axel: Hey that's my line Marluxia: heh heh poor baby *kisses* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsliver Posted December 27, 2006 Report Share Posted December 27, 2006 Lo: "My god... Terry Pratchett smut??" I just got this review, never felt so proud. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest CreepingKate Posted December 30, 2006 Report Share Posted December 30, 2006 When I wrote my first sex scene, Serenanna scolded me for using the word "penis". Apparently, clinical words for sexual organs in particular and sex in general is a big "no-no". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alien Pirate Pixagi Posted January 18, 2007 Report Share Posted January 18, 2007 When I wrote my first sex scene, Serenanna scolded me for using the word "penis". Apparently, clinical words for sexual organs in particular and sex in general is a big "no-no". Using clinical words in sex kinda kills the flow of the sex scene. It's better to use things like "shaft" or something unless you're describing sex between androids. As for a funny review, this is the first one I got for a Harry Potter pardoy fic written to "Maxwell's Silver Hammer" by the Beatles: Katie K 2006-01-26 id # 2035619748That was odd. No, that's not a compliment. Then there were quite a few greats for my e-mail Naruto fic. This on'es my fave: StoryJunkie 2006-12-16 id # 3000039409ha! you made my brain think! how dare you! It hurt...in a good kind of way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iggy_lovechild Posted February 27, 2007 Report Share Posted February 27, 2007 Oi, I just got this one for "Trapped in Paradise". wowgreat story ...damn cliffie all you authors are the same *glares* no!, wait come back!! I DIDNT MEAN IT!!! keep updating Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dest Posted February 27, 2007 Report Share Posted February 27, 2007 This was the second review he gave me. "Wait I was high. I didn't bother to read this story before i reviewed it." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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