Deadman

Interesting distinctions made there. Funny enough, I think both would fall under “More than Mind Control” based on the way it’s being described. Which I wouldn’t necessarily have thought makes sense for the one story. Although within the canon that I’m using for the show it’s more direct mind control. I’m playing with the idea a little more to make it fun. The second story is probably closer to direct mind control rather than “More than Mind Control”. Part of the reason I asked is for the purposes of tagging the story here. If both stories fall more under the “More than Mind Control” category, would that go under corruption or mind control for the purposes of tagging? Or should I just add both to cover my bases?

Where do you draw the line between the two? Some mind control is corruption and some is not in my view. I’m partly asking because of two stories that I’m working on. In one case it’s very clearly mind control but in the other it’s not so clear. One story involves magic being used for direct mind control. The other feels more like corruption but does sorta involve magical mind control. They’re just different kinds. The first is enchanting a magical object to control someone. While the second is someone with psychic abilities who uses it to encourage people to do what they want. Although over time the person on the receiving end tends to think more the way the psychic wants. Thoughts?

That’s a lot less obvious of a question as I probably made it. I’m looking for thoughts about what should work logistically. I have a story involving two women giving a performance for a couple guys. There’s a booth involved where a bunch of guys are sitting to watch the performance. For some reason, I made the booth elevated from the regular floor. It just made sense so I wrote it that way. Now I’m trying to figure out how the performance itself should go. They could either do it on top of the booth’s table or on the floor in front of the booth. What do you think makes the most sense?

Author: Deadman Title: Betty and Veronica: Fuck Buddies Summary: Betty and Veronica's relationship changes when they go out for a fun evening with their friends. They decide to explore how much it has changed on a trip to the cabin with Archie and Jughead. Feedback: Happy to have feedback or suggestions. Fandom: Riverdale Pairing: Threesomes/Moresomes Warnings: 3Plus AFFO Anal Angst Bi DP Exhib FF Fingering HJ MF Oral PWP Solo Spank UST Voy WIP Solo story or chaptered story: This is a multi chaptered story. URL: https://tv.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600100016

Author: Deadman Title: Betty and Veronica: Fuck Buddies Summary: Betty and Veronica's relationship changes when they go out for a fun evening with their friends. They decide to explore how much it has changed on a trip to the cabin with Archie and Jughead. Feedback: Happy to have feedback or suggestions. Fandom: Riverdale Pairing: Threesomes/Moresomes Warnings: 3Plus AFFO Anal Angst Bi DP Exhib FF Fingering HJ MF Oral PWP Solo Spank UST Voy WIP Solo story or chaptered story: This is a multi chaptered story. URL: https://tv.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600100016

Serpent Trials Chapter 9 is up Summary: In order to be with Toni, Cheryl has joined the Serpents but her initiation is incomplete. Like all new members, Cheryl has to go through the Serpent Trials which are different for potential female members than they are for men. Thankfully, Toni is there to help her through it. https://tv.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600099980&chapter=9

Serpent Trials Chapter 9 is up Summary: In order to be with Toni, Cheryl has joined the Serpents but her initiation is incomplete. Like all new members, Cheryl has to go through the Serpent Trials which are different for potential female members than they are for men. Thankfully, Toni is there to help her through it. https://tv.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600099980&chapter=9

I’m curious about how much you focus on a story being linear versus non-linear? I have this story I’m playing with where I’m thinking about a story that isn’t necessarily linear in its story telling. For example, I’ve seen most stories involve Chapter 2 being in the future from Chapter 1, and Chapter 3 being in the future of Chapter 2, etc. A direct linear story. However I’m playing with an idea for a character driven story where chapters aren’t told in a linear way. Such as a character driven story where Chapter 3 happens 6 weeks before Chapter 1, and Chapter 2 might happen 3 weeks before Chapter 1, but you still read Chapter 1 first. It’s just that you learn the context for the things which happen in Chapter 1 in later chapters. Why certain characters feel the way they do about other characters and why they acted the way they did. Am I making sense or just saying random stuff?

There is a fairly good chance that the main character would mention them. They do have a canon history of sorts with the character, although I don’t know if within the continuity of the story I’m writing that canon history has happened. The character which would be mentioned is more of a background/secondary character within canon. All of the main story characters I’m working with are the main characters within canon.

Well the more I talk about it, the more I feel like Jane should be included in some form in the sequel. It might actually work well given how the first story is structured. Most chapters include a character from the previous chapter before moving onto a new character. So perhaps I could include Jane in the most relevant character’s chapter before having them leave.

I suppose I could add another but that’s not the plan in any sense. At least within the context of the story, Jane would be involved in between the current story I’m writing and the sequel. But I appreciate the insight on how I could mention it.

I may simply mention Jane in the sequel as someone who just isn’t around in the moment.

Definitely good to know.

Well, it’s less of a way to get rid of them. It’s for AFF, so it’s more like: “When is Jane going to join in on the fun?” But then the sequel doesn’t have Jane in it at all. Even though Jane is mentioned in the last chapter of the story. However in another chapter I do mention Mary and she does appear in the sequel. Since having the idea to mention Jane though, I have considered making her part of the sequel, but that could over complicate the story. Which has been pretty straight forward up until now.

So it wouldn’t necessarily bother you if there was dialogue about certain characters but never show up?

Kinda curious how you feel about mentioning characters who aren’t going to appear in a piece. A story I’m working on is almost finished. I have plans for a sequel but in the final chapter, I’m possibly going to mention characters who don’t appear in the sequel. You could however reasonably conclude based on the way these characters are mentioned that they would be part of the sequel. But I’m concerned that this might give people a false expectation about what the sequel is about. I’ve mentioned other characters in stories but it makes sense for the characters who are in the story to have them brought up. Just for clarity, it’s a story featuring FF pairings and some of the characters have or did have boyfriends at one point. These former boyfriends get mentioned. However in the final chapter, I mention other female characters who aren’t going to appear. This is a slightly different thing. I don’t know if I want to misdirect readers in this way. There is one mention of characters who will appear in the sequel but it’s not in the final chapter. So it may not work. What do you think?

No worries, that’s partly why I asked ahead of time. I can tweak the title and still make it work. My first instinct is just add a “The” where the dash would be. Not exactly the same but close enough.

So it’s probably a good idea to avoid putting any punctuation like a dash in my story’s title?

This is might be more of a preemptive attempt to know what I can and can’t do when creating story titles. I have an upcoming story that has a dash in the title. But I know the archive has had some issues lately with summaries missing apostrophes and periods from time to time. So would this be a problem if I use a dash in a story title, will it cause any issues? What about a colon instead of a dash?

Go Veronica Go Chapter 8 is up Summary: Veronica has recently become the leader of the Vixens after taking it from Cheryl. However she didn’t know all that was involved in becoming head cheerleader… namely taking care of her Vixens in so many ways. https://tv.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600099980&chapter=8

Go Veronica Go Chapter 8 is up Summary: Veronica has recently become the leader of the Vixens after taking it from Cheryl. However she didn’t know all that was involved in becoming head cheerleader… namely taking care of her Vixens in so many ways. https://tv.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600099980&chapter=8

I definitely think there’s a consistency of characters to some extent. However, I do worry if the outcome isn’t quite what makes sense. The main character definitely has a specific outcome in mind for where they’re trying to end up. Which I think is consistent across all 3 of the chapters so far. That isn’t necessarily going to change. But I have seen stories on here that tend to follow a specific pattern. So I worry that this third character seems somewhat inconsistent in the pattern. To use an example non-specific to the story. Suppose you have a character casting a spell and the spell has the same effect on the first two characters and probably a fourth character. But the third character has the same spell cast on them and it doesn’t have the same effect, though somewhat similar outcome. The spell caster still ultimately gets what they want in the end. It feels like that’s what I’m doing. I’ve set up a magic spell being cast but don’t have an explanation for why it works differently on the third character. Perhaps it does because within the original canon, the main character has a different history with the third character to the first two.

I’m working on a story and trying to figure out how consistent I should be in how the chapters play out. As an example, I’ve written two chapters so far and working on the third. The first two involve one character seducing different characters per chapter. In the third chapter, there’s a third person who is being seduced. In the previous two chapters, the seduction had basically the same outcome. However in the third chapter it feels like I’m writing a somewhat different ending. At least in terms of how the characters end up compared to the third being seduced. So I’m not sure if this makes sense story wise because this third character will be involved in future chapters. Probably doing the same things as the first two characters will be doing. But I might be messing with the story consistency. It feels like the main character and the third character are leaving with a different relationship to each other than the first two. Would something like that bother you? Why or why not?

Oh the dominant one definitely has an attitude about her. It’s probably her defining characteristic. So maybe in this case it doesn’t really matter whether they have underwear on underneath. As long as it’s clear who is in charge and who isn’t.

This is more of a casual situation, if I understand what you mean by that. It’s their first time together. Also, the more dominant one has already sorta offered it as a reward for good behavior. In the sense of a “do what I say and you might see me naked” type scenario. For which the dominant one is now rewarding them. But the relationship isn’t defined in any formal sense.