Thundercloud

Don’t worry about it. I was not expecting lots of sex and in many aspects the best erotic scenes are the ones when the story makes the sex count so to say.

Yes, I guessed the idea came from the picture, but to actually execute the idea in the good way you did takes skill and effort.

No worries about the name mixup. I am used to readers struggling with my names since working with the story “The Tale about the Laughter of Azbezil”. In that story I really went over the top with weird spellings. In recent years I have been using quite many Swedish names (feels natural when stories take place in Sweden but also in fantasy stories). The name Elenore is used by 5138 Swedish woman. It is version of the greek Helenē and means shining light. If I understand correctly it was quite popular name about 100 years ago in USA, but not as much today. I find your reviews very helpful so if you started bad experience has improved your skill a lot.

That was certainly a really detailed review of the scenes in the chapter. You walk as fine line by talking about the scenes without really spoiling them too much, but I think you handle it very well. It is great for my inspiration to get to hear your thoughts about the scenes. Thank you a lot. It was really fun to read the “emotional roller coaster” description since quite a good part of the chapter is reused from the my earlier attempt to write the story. In a story Like “With the Mirror Came..” there is plenty of room of developing the gradual adjustment of the characters as things go constantly worse, but with the Carmen story I really need to make the sentences count since I am aiming for the more quick and fun kind of story with less advanced plot. You seem to have enjoyed quite much of the chapter so the rewrite seems to have paid off. I hope that you will enjoy what I have planned for the pregnant Elenore when they reach their destination (btw you mixed the names, I adjusted it when I copied it here) . One of the reasons of adding more travel time to this chapter and the events at Frank’s place is make sure the timeline of pregnancy fit with the rest of the story. Still some minor scenes that need to be developed but I am really looking forward to write the planned upcoming major scenes and the actual ending of the story.

I don’t have any great preference about single chapter review or multipart reviews. Looking back at my own track record I think one review for each batch of chapters that I read is the normal thing I do, but seriously the one taking the trouble to review things should have the final say about this. Getting good reviews is so rare that no author should complain about such. As for your story I agree with the choice of keeping the story in the current version and use my suggestions for future stories. I look forward for what you will come up with.

Thank you for the review. Looking at what you wrote I think you will like the upcoming chapter when it is done. It could perhaps be interesting for you to know that I actually started this story years back and intended for it to be 4 chapters long, but I ran into trouble with the latter part of story when I things started to feel rushed. Trying to move the characters in position for the final part of the story meant too much of the text was spent on the wrong parts with no good final scene for the chapter. Recently I picked the story up again and realized I could fix the issue by retarget to 5 chapters so I could get room to expand the parts that felt rushed. The good news is that I got about 25 pages more written for the story that I can reuse for chapter 3 and 4, but there is still plenty of work left to be done.

Thanks for review. I will look into something of yours in return.

Thank you for the greatly encouraging review. Considering that I am the author the information that there is a plot twist should not be such a surprise, but I really appreciate that you avoided spoiling the twist. As for the parts that you needed to reread I am not totally surprised. With English as second language and uneven access to proofreaders there are bits that most certainly can be improved. I am glad you could enjoy it despite this.

Like eight years since I posted on AFF but I have been busy writing while away. Some technical problems to get old account working so I had to start a new account, but hopefully it will be sorted out and I can get the revised stories up together with the old reviews and hit counts. Meanwhile I will work at uploading my backlog of stories on AFF and giving responses on any reviews that people write. Posted Original stories: The Master Program Carmen Elisa Needs to Die With the Mirror Came… G.S.P. (revised) Tales of Deception Scandinavian Tales:The Deal The Tale about the Laughter of Azbezil