[Possible issue with bolding text?]

Laughing because apparently your corgi is as difficult as our cats. 😆

In all seriousness, though, I came to see if anyone else was having this problem. Not just me, then. Is there a workaround that we know of? (I’ve also had linebreaks show up and vanish seemingly at random. Missing the old text formatting options like crazy.)

[Locked out of my archive account, password reset isn't working, and it's urgent.]

@BronxWench, thank you so freaking much! I’m FINALLY logged back into my account!  I can finally update my stories here. Thanks for your patience and determination. 💜

Give the grumpy corgi a chin scritch for us. (“Us” being myself, and my kitties Woozle and Heiferlump.)

[Locked out of my archive account, password reset isn't working, and it's urgent.]

The activation link worked, but I got the same “this password reset is no longer valid” error message when I followed the password reset link. From opening the email to reaching the site, it couldn’t have been a whole minute. I’d include a screenshot, but it’s coming up larger than the limit even after cropping. This locked-out saga has completely ruined my ability to believe I’m in any way technologically literate. 
 

EDIT: I uploaded a cropped screenshot to my Google drive HERE.

[Locked out of my archive account, password reset isn't working, and it's urgent.]

Over a year later, and I’m still locked out of my account, and still not able to reset my password. Only difference? Now I’m getting this error message when I try resetting my password:

Quote

“The e-mail you provided may not be registered or is registerd multiple times, please contact support or try registering” 

…all except for one email address. That address, once the password reset link from my inbox loads, I get the message that it expired…in seconds. I’m starting to consider just scrapping the whole posting on AFF deal. 😔

[How long is long enough to become a badass?]

Just a quick word. I’m putting writing on the back burner for a while. When I started this topic last night, I didn’t expect to get word this morning that my parents lost another furbaby. I grew up with that particular furball, and I’m devastated.

I’m going to spend a few days just hugging my cats. I’ll come back to this when I’m less likely to cry. This was the last thing I needed right now.

[How long is long enough to become a badass?]

So, apparently when I wrote this out, I didn’t word it as well as I thought I did. (Overnights suck.) I also left plenty out because I didn’t want to include anything which could be used to identify the story when it’s finished. Privacy is important when you’re a closeted disaster-bi in the Bible Belt. Let me try again. X being character in question, A being the non-human allies, K being the non-human enemies, and D being the idjit who got kidnapped by the enemies and who now needs to be brought home. D also has a piggybacking spirit (nope, this one doesn’t do anything useful beyond keep people alive) and he and X are related.

The training is only part of the story—a means to an end rather than the whole plot—and other than one outburst from the piggybacker, I’m not pushing X’s abilities beyond anything humanly possible. The intention of her trainers (A) is to teach X to use the spirit’s abilities, or at the very least, how to not get killed during the final confrontation. Because X is human, however, she’s going to be fighting a losing battle. She’s fit, more so than the average American, perhaps, but trying to make her superhuman is impossible without breaking the rules I’ve laid down for the world. This is fantasy realism, not ‘screw it, tiny children can save the world and Santa Clause gives away weapons.’ It’s a spoiler, but…X is going to fail. Fantastically. She won’t be able to harness the spirit’s abilities—it’s an entirely separate entity, not a buff. She won’t be able to take down the baddies, or even fight the baddies. She’s human, and they’re far tougher with fewer weaknesses. She will, however, become a much stronger human, learn how to fight non-humans defensively without getting gutted, and discover that her humanity—or, more specifically, the critical way the C view her on account of her humanity—is one of her greatest strengths. Compare it to a tiny angry monkey demanding a fight while her big buff friends sneak in the back door and free D, then they all make use of a distraction to escape. X is the tiny angry monkey; all she has to do is scream loudly enough and keep their eyes on her.

Fighting-wise, I’m planning on the majority of said training involving endurance, strength, the usual, and some hand-to-hand, mostly defensive. I might include non-lethal weapons like staves at one point; the C mostly use their fists, claws, and teeth, but the use of bladed spears and daggers isn’t uncommon. I’m intentionally giving X only enough time to make marked improvements, but not enough to become, say, John Wick.

The timing is important because the date of the attack is supposed to coincide with another event, and that event occurs regularly. (For instance, a full moon, or something like it.) The first number of days (plus some) represents the number of days in a year on the A’s planet, while the second represents the number of days in a year on the C’s planet. Choosing a time closer to the first number would allow more opportunities to immerse X in the world of the A, the lives they live, and her love interest’s friends and family, but it might open up confusion regarding the timing of the event. Choosing a number closer to 600 would leave X experiencing all of this twice and risk her coming home to find herself declared dead despite the protective measures taken, but it would give more time for the romance between X and her love interest to grow more organically.

…I think I got the most of it this time. Anything else I missed, just ask. I really appreciate y’all’s help with this; Reddit’s writing sub is surprisingly judgy about asking for help with your writing, and you can only ask on the Fanfiction sub about original fiction so many times before getting the boot.

[How long is long enough to become a badass?]

Simply put, my character X is fit-healthy—she kickboxes weekly, runs with her dogs daily, and has a regular routine—and she’s getting dragged to another world to be made into a badass for plot-identifying purposes. Part of that process will include possibly learning to harness some abilities imparted by a guardian spirit piggybacking on her like she’s the neighbor’s wi-fi. X will be trained by people of a much stronger species and there aren’t any shortcuts. 
How many days would be reasonable to allow for building X from fit to badass? I’m leaning toward between 400 and 600, but considering I’m comfortably chunky and too old and decrepit to care, it’s like a vegan offering opinions on steakhouses. We also have to keep in mind that the world keeps spinning while she’s gone; too long, and she’s likely to come back and find her bank account empty and all her shit on the auction block.

…anyone got any advice?

[Locked out of my archive account, password reset isn't working, and it's urgent.]

Thank you, both for taking the time to answer and for fighting the good fight against the hacker spawn. I can be patient. Best of luck!

[Locked out of my archive account, password reset isn't working, and it's urgent.]

I’m still locked out of my account. (I had to put writing aside for awhile; depression sucks, and it and all its little assbuddies can go jump off the dirty end of a cow with poke intoxication.) Well, now when I try logging in, I get a different error: 

“The email you provided may not be registered or is registered multiple times.”

…any possible way this is due to the site being in read-only, or is this still the same problem as before. 😣

 

EDIT: the pen name is correct now, at least. No doxxing risk, yay!

[Locked out of my archive account, password reset isn't working, and it's urgent.]

That’s still accomplishing nothing. Is there any way someone could send a link for me to reset my password, because I’m not getting the emails when I try that. They aren’t in junk or spam, either. I’ve tried signing in, resetting, clearing, and everything else I know how to do dozens of times on three different devices now and I’m still locked out and unable to fix it. I’m starting to panic here.

[Locked out of my archive account, password reset isn't working, and it's urgent.]

Yes, but I’ll give it another try.   Maybe the nth time is the charm.

[Locked out of my archive account, password reset isn't working, and it's urgent.]

I tried clearing my cache/cookies/website data on my iPad, and nothing changed. My password has a non-alphanumerical character, which according to other posts here, may be causing problems. Either way, how do I log out if I can’t log in??? The only option I see on the page is “log in,” and it won’t show any of the shortcuts you see when you’re logged in.

[Locked out of my archive account, password reset isn't working, and it's urgent.]

I need to get into my account to correct an unexplained ‘problem’ on my profile that could result in doxxing/outing me to my homophobic family. My password isn’t working, the password reset isn’t working, I’m not getting emails for the reset – even in junk/spam – and I haven’t heard back from tech support. I’ve tried all of this – aside from contacting support – on three different browsers and devices, so it’s not a problem with my browser or computer. This is the screen I get after using the “password reset” link at the left, but that’s as far as it goes.

The longer this goes unfixed, the higher the odds that someone I’m related to will find my profile, connect the problem to me, and out me to my homophobic parents as the bisexual delinquent that they can’t know I am. Please, help me fix this!

 

[Names for OCs]

My process varies depending on what exactly I’m writing. For some of my original fiction, I tend to use a blend of “words from nature,” “elaborated words from nature,” and “take parts of actual words or names, mash them together with other syllables from other words and names, and boom, insta-name.” It’s gotten some pretty interesting results like Anabreth, Kessenjer, and Benekeed. It fits for a fantasy-setting culture in another world but it would not fit for most stories.

Fanfiction and other fiction? That process is more...complicated. Sometimes with some characters, a name for them literally just pops up as I’m building the character and sticks. Other times I scour baby name directories, popular media, and websites, and choose what works best for the time. Usually I follow a precedent my family (unintentionally?) set: “Every girl needs an adult name and an old lady name, and one of those names needs to be adaptable into a cute nickname for when they’re kids.” Some fandoms (or families) also have trends for naming – characters in a lot of anime have names based in nature, especially food, and sometimes families follow naming customs passed down. Heck, I know of a person who has several kids, all of whom have an X or Y somewhere in their name. (Yes, he’s white.)

Overall, I think, if you’re worried your OC name will sound Sue-ish or too unusual, there’s an easy way to figure it out. Imagine you just met a new friend and you’re introducing them to someone. Could be your parents, your Nana, or even just that fusty granny who lives next door and always gets up in your business. Imagine yourself saying the character’s name to this person. Did they cringe? Did their eyebrows disappear into their hair? Did they snort under their breath, imitate a codfish, or otherwise react impolitely? If so, the name’s probably going to stand out and maybe too much. Sometimes having an outlandish name can be a good thing – ie, recurring jokes or character reactions to their names – and likewise for excessively bland names.

Whatever you choose, just be sure you make it work.

[Am I wrong or is my grammar checker an idiot?]

There’s only so much an automated spelling and grammar checker can accomplish; sometimes their ones and zeroes get crossed and they suggest incorrect corrections. If you know already that your work is correct in that instance, it’s easy enough to just delete the flag and move on, but what about when you’re not sure? What about when you actually start questioning whether the checker’s suggestion, wrong as it sounds, might be right?

I give you the “am I wrong or is my grammar checker an idiot?” thread. Here you can post your spelling and grammar questions and – I hope! – get answers. For clarity’s sake, try to follow this form:

The sentence: Write out your sentence in its entirety.

The problem: Describe what part of that sentence has caught your checker’s attention, the proposed correction, why you think the checker might be wrong, and if possible, why it might be right.

 

Good luck, and I hope this thread becomes a valuable resource for those of us about to go round an’ round with our grammar checkers!

 

[message 004]

Ladies, it looks like this thread needs some Troll-Away.^tm

Ignore the fine print. Can I interest you in a case?

[ISO a second opinion on one chapter of a WIP]

An ongoing beta would be awesome but I’m not holding my breath or asking for one currently. (I had a beta for this...once...I miss her.) What I really need is – as the title says – a second opinion on a single completed chapter of my WIP Shifting the Paradigm. The last few scenes just...don’t feel as urgent and oomph-y to me as I hoped for.

Wanted: Second opinion on oomph, intensity of suspense/threat, and cliffhanger.
Fandom: Dragon Ball/Dragon Ball Z. There’s maybe two canon characters identified on-screen.
Type of story: Drama/family/romance, heavily influenced by the characters’ traumatic histories and recovery from them. There won’t be any real romance until the OCs Rio and Sierra start getting their shit together and recovering from the damage they’ve done themselves, and any smut will have to wait until after that.

The basic setup of the story (I’m heavily paraphrasing so this is gonna be weird, feel free to skip.) Main OCs are three sisters (Sierra, Rio, and Cordelia) and Rio’s teenage daughter Rowan. Rio got involved with an older man as a teenager, was nearly killed after she wound up pregnant and went to him for help, and has raised Rowan despite mild-to-moderate brain damage, serious post-traumatic stress, and stalking/abuse/physical attacks from the father when he’s not in prison. Rio’s sister, Sierra, was always there to help but when Sierra needed help (her health started failing, she got a diagnosis of something that would eventually cripple her, their parents died, and a few other crises) Rio shut her out and threw blame. Cordelia washed her hands of the entire family and shut herself away because she’s an asshole. In a fit of pique, depression, and desperation, Sierra ran away to a forest in hopes she’d die there instead of have to actually keep living with her new medical problems and her family falling apart. Instead, Piccolo and Gohan find her and bring her to Bulma, and Piccolo’s attitude and shouting helps her realize she’s throwing her life away over nothing.
Sierra has spent the last several months getting medical help, undergoing counseling, and working up the nerve to confront her family and take back her life. Meanwhile, Rowan found herself on Dende’s radar (and he commenced guardian-stalking her because he’s an awkward teenage alien with a crush and nothing to do) and Rio still hasn’t figured out that Sierra’s running away was partly her fault. Cordelia is still moping at home with her dog. Most recently, Rowan’s sperm-donor was paroled, Rio got warning and they started packing to leave town until he’s gone. In this chapter: Rio is an asshole, we see that she’s not just an asshole and how her anger issues have affected her relationship with Rowan. Planning. More drama. Shtuff. Dende finds out Rowan’s sperm-donor is coming after them and sends help, it doesn’t go as planned, a family ally beats the tar out of Dad on the front lawn, and Rio and Rowan are brought from their home to the Lookout for their own safety. Sierra FINALLY reaches out because she knows her niece is in danger, but the call goes unanswered because Rowan forgot her phone. Cliffhanger followed by furious readers with torches and pitchforks.

  A whole list of triggers in this chapter alone:

• violence
• some mild referenced gore
• panic, panic attacks, and Post-Traumatic Stress 
• complicated relationship between a mother with PTSD and her teenage daughter
• references to previous physical assault, child abuse, coerced sex between an adult and a minor resulting in pregnancy, stalking, attempted murder
• physical assault and threatening with a firearm (happens mostly off-screen)
• alien abduction (because...ya know...they get taken to safety...by aliens. It fits the canon.)

...suffice it to say this is WAY out of my usual writing boundaries and I’ll be slapping some heavy warnings on it when it’s posted. The scenes in question have no romance or sex, just impending doom followed by DOOM.

Work examples: I’d love to read examples of y’all’s work – or, alternatively, some examples of what you would consider well-written stories – but it isn’t an absolute requirement. Again, I’m just looking for an opinion on the impact of the last few scenes here!

[Injuries, illnesses, and etc!]

Surely I’m not the only one who wonders “is this medically possible or am I exposing my n00bitude?” Alas, I couldn’t find a thread devoted to such a thing! So...uh...I guess if you find yourself with questions regarding injuries, illnesses, and other such junk...ask here?

[Title Help]

On 4/22/2020 at 6:11 PM, GeorgeGlass said:

“Forgiveness is for Everyone”?

I mean, it’s absolute, and it captures the two-way street thing.

It’s been a good minute since I’ve had a chance to pop on here to reply, but your suggestion hit the mark! I wound up going with “Forgiveness Goes Both Ways.” Thanks, everyone, for your advice and time. Until next time!

[Title Help]

13 hours ago, Thundercloud said:

Forgiveness is for the wicked

Thanks, but...that’s the exact opposite of what I’m going for.  It’s also the opposite of the ‘lesson’ I quoted from. The basis is “Forgiveness is for the person who has been hurt, not the person who has done the hurting.”

Traditionally we’re taught to forgive those who have hurt us but we’re not always taught WHY we should forgive them. If the person who hurts us regrets doing so, then yes, forgiveness is for them more than us. If the person who wrongs us regrets nothing and hasn’t/won’t apologize – that’s the case here – then forgiveness is to help US regain control and move on from the injury.

Despite trying to make amends, Kimber doesn’t regret her actions, only what those actions led to; even knowing what happened on account of her decisions, she’d still do everything all over again because she stands by her reasoning. She is not sorry, but the people who have paid for her mistakes are learning to forgive her anyway because they need closure. The other main party concerned – the ‘boss’ who led her down a road of destruction and eventually death – is definitely not sorry for what he’s done, only sorry that he got caught and incarcerated. Still, Kimber has decided to forgive him because she’s tired of being afraid of him – she’s taking back control. 

Not what I’m looking for, but thank you anyway.

[Title Help]

Oh, I forgot – in case anyone’s wondering “does it really matter if the title fits the theme,” the answer is YES. The previous arc – “Absolutes,” Amber’s return to her world to clean up her messes and tie off her loose ends – also had a theme and a similar setup:

•  Intro chapter – Secrets, Solutions, Certainty
•  Crossing Worlds is Impossible
•  The Living Cannot Hear the Dead
•  Parallel Worlds Do Not Collide
•  The Dead Do Not Rise
• Conclusion chapter – The Choice Between Darkness and Light

The four main chapters related things which are supposed to be absolute laws, but each of these is explored and disproven in their titular chapter. 1, Amber and Kimber crossed worlds, though by no choice of their own, and Amber and her S.O. managed to return to her world of their own accord. 2, During Amber’s visit to her world (where she is dead) she continually ran into people who knew her in life. 3, Despite all logic pointing to the opposite, evidence abounds that Amber and her S.O. were interacting despite their separate realities for many years, and that may be the reason behind her being dumped in that world after getting herself killed. Lastly, Amber died once before and lived again in another world, found her way to her old world only to start dying again without any injury.

 

TL,DR: Yes, it’s important. I’m a symbolism nerd. Stuff.

[Title Help]

Looking for some advice for a chapter title...or, more specifically, how to word said chapter title. There’s a particular theme I’m using for this set of chapters and a specific message I want to get across with this chapter title but I’m having trouble with the wording...and ReverseDictionaryDOTorg thinks the word for “someone who has had wrong done to them” is “Virgin.”  No help there. (No, I’m not joking. I took a screenshot.)

 

Incredibly Vague Explanation: Chapter in question is part of a 4-5 chapter arc unofficially entitled “Reclaimed Honor.” Setup: “Kimber” both screwed up her life and had her life screwed up by others, then unintentionally bit the dust before she could make amends and fix her shit. In another reality, “Amber” died of TBI and was yoinked out of her afterlife and dumped in Kimber’s recently-vacated corpse. (long frickin’ story) Over the time since waking up and starting over, she has paid for Kimber’s wrongdoings, was targeted by Kimber’s enemies and former friends on account of being mistaken for Kimber, and nearly died again, more than once. Kimber, meanwhile, was dumped in another empty human body in Amber’s reality and told “don’t screw up again.”

Currently: In the previous arc, Amber found a way to her home reality, met Kimber, and after spending too long there, nearly died of the same injury which killed her before. After going over the facts, timeline, and details, Amber’s S.O. hypothesized there might be a time limit on how long someone can be in the world they died in without dying a second time, but none were willing to test the theory. Kimber, upon finding out Amber nearly croaked, volunteered. During this arc Kimber returns to her world to intentionally risk her life to prove or disprove the S.O.’s theory, all to make amends and fix her shit. She apologizes to people she’s hurt, finally takes responsibility, makes good on promises she didn’t keep, etc. Atop of that, she finally stands up to the person who sent her down her destructive path in the first place and was responsible for her going into hiding, and thus indirectly responsible for her untimely death.

The chapters in this arc are all titled for feelings Kimber’s finally admitting and lessons she’s learning.

• A Matter of Honor – intro – feeling: she’s risking her life to reclaim her honor.
• I Slipped Along the Way – feeling: she’s finally admitting to herself “Wow, I fucked up good, huh?” and realizing she really needs to fix her shit.
• [CURRENT CHAPTER]: - Lesson. (This is the one I need help with)
• Redemption is a Process – (projected, may be combined with previous instead if [current chapter] comes out too short) – Lesson: redeeming yourself isn’t something that happens overnight; it’s a process that can take years of effort.

So here’s the problem. The title is a much-condensed version of a lesson sometimes taught in abuse, assault, and trauma recovery:

Quote

“Forgiveness isn’t always meant for the person who hurt you. If that person is truly repentant for what they did, forgiveness helps you both, but if they don’t regret or don’t change their ways, it’s just for you. Forgiving someone who hurt you can help you to recover from what they did to you. It makes you stronger and gives back some of the power they took from you when they hurt you. It’s enabling yourself to let go of emotional injury. It’s saying “You hurt me horribly, but I’m not going to let you control you anymore.” Sometimes “I forgive you” can also mean “Fuck you, I won’t let you control me.”

The beginning of the title is, and needs to remain, Forgiveness is for the, but the last word/words are what I’m struggling with. The initial idea (and the one that’s stuck with me) was Wronged but it sounds weird to me for some reason. Other ideas are Victim or Victimized but those aren’t a very good fit. Kimber isn’t an innocent party here in the slightest. She’s done wrong to other people and had wrong done to her; she’s both forgiving her unrepentant transgressors and being forgiven by those who have paid for her transgressions. This chapter is a two-way street and using a word like victim in the title sounds (to me) like it’s supposed to be one-way.

Does anyone have any synonyms for “person who has had wrong done to them” which would work for this title, or should I just stick with “wronged?”

[LANGUAGE & CULTURE QUESTION regarding a situationally appropriate Japanese suffix]

1 hour ago, BronxWench said:

we have a rule about not allowing stories to be published in the forum—we’ve had people post stories here instead of the archive. So, our forum admin and Willow established a rule about no more than 10 sentences of story text being allowed.

Ah, that makes sense. Thanks for the explanation! I’ll try to keep that in mind from now on, WillowDarkling. Thanks again for your advice!

 

1 hour ago, BronxWench said:

In return, I’m teaching her to curse in Sindarin.  

 Y’all are a blast! 

 

[LANGUAGE & CULTURE QUESTION regarding a situationally appropriate Japanese suffix]

13 hours ago, BronxWench said:

Actually, in this instance, because the OP is looking for language guidance and not looking to publish a story on the forum, in whole or in part, I think the extra content was needed to get the correct guidance

…? I take it I missed something? Was this flagged, or reported, or did I unintentionally bugger something up? I’ve been down with a migraine all day (it’s still trying to bounce back up from headache to pickaxe pulverizing my frontal lobe) so this is the first I’ve heard or seen about anything. I’m confused...

I’m still new to this forum so apologies if I misstep. The one I used to work with is...let’s just say less than reasonable, entirely unhelpful, and crawling with irrational kidults looking for a punching bag. (...stay away from FFnet’s “Writers Anonymous.” Just stay away.) When posting a question I always try to include the relevant information and keep it brief – or at least summarized and formatted for easy reading – but different opinions on relevance are a hurdle. Every attempt on W.A. got answers of TLDR, try Google and not enough info I must know everything about your story and characters including each protagonist’s blood type and pet’s maiden name or I absolutely cannot help you with anything on the exact same post. Once in a while I was lucky enough to merit a dunno, ask Jeeves. When hours and even days of searching and reading didn’t get me the answers I needed, the only way I ever managed to keep the too much and not enough repliers happy was by including snippets for context...or offering cookies and begging for intruding upon their space. 

 

18 hours ago, WillowDarkling said:

Gaijin is considered quite rude in most social situations regarding non-Japanese (especially white) people today, and especially if it’s said in a rude or taunting tone. 

The character Saschelle is being abusive and antagonistic to character Rowan so the slur is very much intended as a slur there; at least in my previous experiences, bullies don’t generally pull their punches. Glad I was able to get the attitude across there. I recalled reading that the polite term was gaikokujin, hence the exaggerated pause between syllables – a sudden and emphasized jump from feigning manners to blatant insult to throw the recipient off-kilter.

I’ve gone through the lists of sites and article links in my fan-writing Notebook (thank goodness for OneNote!) but for the life of me, I can’t find the article I got my G-word info from.  If this instance follows other recent ones, it means I bookmarked the article on my old computer and forgot to add a link in my Notebook. My dear old Betsy effectively went battery-up recently and has been replaced. I can’t access my bookmarks until I get Firefox working and updated on the replacement computer…or until I can manage to get Betsy working again long enough to save my research bookmarks. I’ve searched the internet but haven’t found the article again, only other sites and articles referencing similar answers. (“It’s horribly offensive and considered a slur” and “It’s not always used as a slur, it’s just a word meaning foreigner. Even sports leagues use it for foreign teams.”) No idea of how to determine which sources are accurate besides good ol’ “avoid wikis, Wikipedia, and social media sites.”

Without the article I referenced I have no way to be sure but I feel like I remember something about the writer being affiliated with a college or university perhaps, maybe connected to a language or cultural arts program…? 

18 hours ago, WillowDarkling said:

Also for the honorifics, -kun and -chan are used when you are familiar with someone, so anyone trying to keep a “social distance” of any kind, would just use familyname-san, I think. Of course the tone of voice can always be used to convey condescension etc.

So basically using -san would be the way to go? Basically, Saschelle is using the word with a title to compound the insult - like a certain relation of mine who calls people “Mister Jackwad” and “Little Miss Bitchfest” when he’s offended by their very presence. ...crud. Now I’m not sure if the word we’re talking about is a noun or adjective. My head hurts and I need some wine.

[LANGUAGE & CULTURE QUESTION regarding a situationally appropriate Japanese suffix]

Specifically, I’m trying to find a suffix which would be considered intentionally rude and insulting for a situation involving bullying. Beware, long post to include all relevant details. 

The story in question (Shifting the Paradigm - WIP, don’t recall if I’ve posted it here yet) portrays a fair amount of culture clash between Western/Japanese cultures and Earthling/Alien cultures, and racism (both ways) is touched upon and implied. These conflicts are a vital part of the story’s character-building and required for certain characters’ growth, and they foster a feeling of mutual-unbelonging within the human/alien pairings. (Dragon Ball Z fanfiction, knowledge of it shouldn’t be required to answer this question.) I’m going to try to keep this as concise as possible but I’m a bit scatterbrained on a good day.

 

Background: characters “Rio,” Sierra, and Cordelia Stone have a Latinx American mother (call her E) and Japanese-born father (call him T) in southern/midwestern America. (specifically Missouri. It doesn’t really fit with either region culture-wise.) The family bounced back and forth between E’s hometown in Missouri and T’s hometown in Japan while he finished his schooling and built his career. In her mid-teens, Rio became an underage mother. (messy complicated situation, skipping the details here) T urged for abortion and shamed Rio, while E insisted keeping or aborting was Rio’s choice and the family needed to support her, not condemn her. Rio chose to keep and raise her daughter and named her Rowan. Rio dropping out to provide for her kid (and, specifically, her parents’ inability to agree about how to handle it) was the last straw in E & T’s strained relationship. After the divorce, Rio, her sisters, and Rowan remained in Japan with T because his income was more stable and capable of caring for four kids, and they spent school breaks in America with E. Rowan and her aunts all have dual citizenship though they’ve (permanently) settled in Japan.

The character in question, Rowan Stone, attends a traditional Japanese high school with a few canon characters and is finishing up her last year. She doesn’t fit in with her peers in appearance or behavior, and she’s gotten into some trouble, one of which incidents resulted in expulsion from her previous school in her second-to-last year. As a result, Rowan has undergone various amounts of bullying, exclusion, and harassment. Rio hasn’t encouraged Rowan to fit in – if anything, Rio’s got a “we’re different, they can suck it” attitude which is just as toxic/exclusionist as “you’re different so we don’t want you” – and Rowan hasn’t yet felt much inclination to make friends or socialize. Her only goal at the moment is to finish school, get the heck out, and take up full-time work. She’s still very much finding herself as the story progresses.

 

Finally, the scene in question takes place from the POV of a neutral Canon peer just now noticing Rowan. I’m including the scene [with a few non-vital bits redacted in a belated attempt at brevity] below. No spelling/grammar checking or proof-reading has been done yet – this is a rough draft. There will be too many commas and grammar mistakes.

Canon characters, Bullying OCs, sentence in question.)

Quote

Gohan knew little about the student addressed as "Stone Rowan" but what he did know made him nervous. She fit with the rest of the class as well as a rusty hatchet fit with a chef-grade cutlery set. She rarely chatted with other students during breaks, instead burying her nose in a book and eating her lunch alone at her desk. She was quiet, she kept to herself, she belonged to no optional clubs and always left the moment the students were dismissed for the day. Strangest of all, at least to the class gossip-mongers, she always kept her right arm covered to the elbow, whether with long sleeves or a cloth armband. Despite the rest of the class’s fascination with Stone’s...otherness...she seemed to have less regard for them than a Namekian might have for Earth music. ...Dende aside.

At the beginning of the term, Gohan was content to ignore the Stone girl as she seemed to wish. Then he came across another person named Stone and who spoke with the same brassy drawl, and now, his curiosity wouldn't leave him alone. The two females looked nothing alike—on the surface, they were practically opposites!—but he wasn’t fooled by appearances. Chi didn’t lie. Then again, the odds of two unrelated women with the same last name being on Dende’s radar at the same time were low enough for suspicion.

A forced cough broke Gohan from his pondering; Erasa shot a pointed look at Videl, who seemed on the verge of snapping at him. "Did I miss something?" he asked folding up his sandwich wrapper with a sheepish wince. Videl rolled her eyes and motioned for Erasa to continue. Slowly the conversation picked back up around Gohan but eventually his eyes meandered back to the redhead by the door. This time she wasn't alone—three other students hemmed her in against the desktop. Purintā, Stapura, and Saschelle weren't the friendliest or most studious sorts and, from what he could see, they were on the prowl for their next stepping stone. Gohan cringed the moment he caught the pun in his musings; that was awful.

"What's the point, anyway?" Sharpner's unexpected demand broke Gohan’s train of thought.

"The…point of what?" Gohan asked with a wince. Sharpner sniffed and gestured to the redhead by the door.

"Stone," the blond grunted leaning his chair back on two feet and propping his on the desktop. "Everyone knows she has a tattoo, so why does she bother hiding it?"

"She has a what?" Gohan burst out and turned to study Rowan's cloth-wrapped right arm in open disbelief. Now that he thought about it, he could see faint traces of darker color showing through the thin white cloth of her uniform shirt. From the blank stares of his friends, he slipped into English again without noticing. That explained the angry flush on the redhead’s cheeks. "Okay," he muttered turning back to his friends, "so she has a tattoo and she keeps it covered. What's it matter?" Someday it would be nice for the are you an idiot? stares from his classmates to not make him feel like an idiot.

"She got it at sixteen," Erasa hissed. "There was a huge fiasco at her old school when she showed up after summer break—Saschelle said her cousin at West City High told her Stone went on vacation in another country just to get tattooed!" She waited a moment for the unspoken to register. No such luck. "It's illegal to tattoo a minor, Son," she reminded. "Stone broke the law for that tattoo and if the rumors are right, it's just a bird! How on earth could that have been so important to her that she'd break the law for it?"

Gohan thought about it a moment while idly munching on his third fishcake of the day. In the background he heard Erasa continue ranting—something about body art being shunned by polite society, and how anyone with a tattoo was banned from many establishments on sight. Somewhere in the blonde's rambling Gohan heard the words wabori, youbori, and Yakuza, but it wasn't enough to draw his focus away.

Over by the door, Saschelle kicked her attitude up a notch. "Are you rude or hearing impaired?" she taunted Stone, then added in a singsong tone, "Gai…jin…?" With that one word, the entire classroom went completely silent; every head turned to the standoff by the door, every voice silent with bated breath. Even Gohan knew this was a horrible breach of ettiquette, and he grew up in the backwoods!

Rowan slowly lifted her eyes from the pages of her book to the sneering brunette leaning against her desk and up in her face. Her nostrils flared as she sucked in a steadying, calming breath then slowly expelled it. Gohan tensed, his mind racing for a way to break up the imminent fight without hurting someone or exposing his true power. "Your bad score in English Conversation is not my fault," Rowan reminded in blunt, unimpressed Japanese. "If you focus on study as much as you make fun of me, you will improve your grammar." Sharpner whistled under his breath. Erasa tittered at the zinger. Saschelle’s face turned red, then scarlet, then—yes, Gohan realized with a wince, crimson with rage.

"Her grammar is fine!" Purintā snapped at the redhead. "Your English does not make sense!" Rowan rolled her eyes with a dismissive snort and began packing away the remnants of her lunch.

"Your grammar is terrible, and I can prove it." She shoved her lunch bag into her desk. “Grammatically correct,” she said, then switched to English, “‘Get out of my face.' Not grammatically correct: 'Dicks you are being,'" she warned in a ridiculous nasal tone that reminded Gohan of some movie he couldn’t recall the name of. "'Stop you should, before slapped you get.' Now leave me alone."

SO. What suffix would be the most insulting and offensive in this situation?

According to what I’ve read, the word Gaijin can be seen as A, an innocuous social descriptor, B, a compliment to a foreign associate, or C, a racial slur depending on the situation, tone, and context, and the personal beliefs and biases of those involved. I believe the article said it means roughly not one of us or not Japanese. I don’t know the accuracy of these statements and have done as much research as I can to determine what I can. 

In this case, Saschelle is trying to provoke Rowan to retaliate (and thus get in trouble) by using the word as a slur, and she’s adding an honorific to cast doubt among the rest of the class that maybe she isn’t using it as a slur. (Obviously it didn’t work; the others’ reactions show they recognize Saschelle’s bullying for what is) Rowan and Saschelle are the same gender, grade, roughly the same age, etc; I think using -kun would thus be more insulting because it would insinuate Rowan is of a lower class/inferior to Saschelle on account of her non-Asian ancestry. What I’ve read indicates -kun is used by upper-classmen referring to lower-classmen and, in the workforce, superiors referring to their inferiors...but I’ve also read that -kun is normally just used for male persons outside of the workplace. The other option I’ve considered is -chan which can seen as childish or affectionate. Saschelle isn’t denoting affection, she’s a stereotypical mean girl spewing nastiness from behind a superiority complex, but that might emphasize her pretense of I’m actually sweet and nice, you’re the one with a problem.

 

  So. I’m honestly trying to keep this socially and culturally accurate instead of just spewing out what feels right. Do I go with -kun, or -chan, or is there something entirely different which fits better? Anyone got an answer? This question (and the proofing) is the only thing keeping this chapter from being complete and posted.