KoKoa_B

Chapter IV: By now, good chapter at the start of the reviews is probably becoming white noise, but they are good chapters. I like the description of Area 51 and the reasoning behind why it can’t be seen; I snickered at the slight jab at the Hollywood movies portrayal of it, too. Your description of the tower was good, although I would have liked to have seen a little more involved (but that’s probably just my style of over-descriptiveness, so…). The characters grow a little more with the addition of Keith and, I admit, I haven’t really been able to place him. He comes across as a bit of a dick, I won’t lie, in some scenes, yet also well mannered and determined in others. I do like the characterizations of the guys in this chapter, too. They’re all ‘gentlemanly’ and stuff and Keith’s just ‘nope, stop it’. I especially like Lindsay in this; perhaps it’s my own little style involved (...), but she sounds like she’s not someone to be trifled with now. You have a good way of placing the exposition in. It seems natural in the way it’s presented (in this case, through Keith, who has all the information it seems and is logical to assume). As always, looking forward to the next chapter. – tcr, Beyond the Milky Way The one problem that I have is with descriptions. I either force an info dump down your throat or give things out vaguely; there is no in between with me lol! That and I can never transfer what I see in my brain to a document. It’s very frustrating. Oh, good; you got that little jab I threw in! There’s a reason for it; nothing hugely important but it’ll be touched on later. I definitely need to describe Keith better. You will find out later why he’s the way he is. And yes, Lindsay had had enough by then and now you get to see her in true form.

Chapter II: I like the introduction of the next member of the cast. In such a short chapter, Bradley, to me, at least, comes across as perceptive, intelligent, and driven. I wait to see whether those qualities come out further in your work or if there might be some darker side behind them. On a minor note that is likely my stylistic approach, but a point all the same that I just wanted to note off, but I’ve only ever seen, for example, ‘Bradley Smith IV’, written as that, without the comma (like I said, perhaps just mine approach, so please, feel free to disregard it). I did like the suspense aspect in the end. What is Bradley going to find? While the idea is of one thing, reading the summary definitely leaves it wide open for that assumption to be turned on its side and kicked in the jangles a few times. Even while typing this, I’m eagerly waiting to move on to Chapter III. All in all, good Chapter II. Chapter III: So that was good. Expanded on the list of characters and showed a tinge of apprehension in all of them, which I can only assume would be anyone’s reaction to it. Indeed, it would be my reaction to everything that was said. You learn a little more about Lizzie in comments that flow with the rest of the conversation. (By the way, I did like the explanation of the MOS. It didn’t feel like you had shoehorned them it and it was excellently done to give people who do not know that knowledge.) I do have some concrit I'd be more than willing to share if you would like... Or you can throw tomatoes. (I think I have rambled on enough for now…) All in all, another good chapter. Well done characterization of the two previous and I look forward to seeing more of the rest of them as well. I look forward to seeing what is about to happen to all of these individuals. My apologies for a long review. – tcr, Beyond the Milky Way *cracks knuckles* That’s a lengthy review! Let’s see if I can respond properly! First and foremost, by all means: critique away! This story isn’t a final product nor am I a grammar and editing pro. I definitely need more pairs of eyes for everything that I write; you never know what you’ll catch that the writer has not. For example, the comma in Bradley’s whole name. That was definitely a mistake that slipped past me. I would never throw tomatoes at anyone, even if they’re being trolls (not saying that you are; just saying that I’m nice about things...) I love long reviews! I love reviews, period! The more, the merrier! So, never apologize for the length of any review you give me. I take all shapes and sizes! And I thank you for taking the time to do so!

Four short chapters in, already http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600108508&chapter=4

So that you guys didn’t think I lied to ya: http://comics.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600061146&chapter=20

Hope you guys didn’t think I forgot! Writer’s block, I tell ya! After a six month hiatus, I’ve updated! http://comics.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600061146&chapter=19 Chapter 19! And, to be honest? Chapter 20 very shortly...

First off, one complaint: It was too short, lol. I enjoyed it and wanted more at the end, so, good job. (You can't see it, but there is a thumbs up in front of my screen.) I liked the start, what most people consider the mundane routine that permeates everyday life. Then there's build up to the letter's reveal and the contents within. I thought it was done quite well. The husband/wife banter and the love between them showed their relationship quite well. But, yes, interesting. I will definitely be keeping an eye on it and find out where you take it. -tcr, Beyond the Milky Way Welcome to the agonizing world that is my forgetfulness to update! I want to apologize for it being so short but trust me, there are more chapters! The plan was to post a chapter a day or every other day due to the shortness of them. But… yeeah… I’ll get on that… Thank you for taking the time to read this. I have to warn you that this story isn’t going to be on the same level as any of your sci-fi fics so there’s that. As I stated in my review to your story, I don’t do true sci-fi. I’ll try to put as much detail as I’m capable of but you’ve been warned! My repertoire is romance, humor and smut lol

It’s been a while! Trying to tidy up a bit and make more original stories. So, here goes… Author: me, KoKoa B! Title: Beyond the Milky Way Summary: A group of people are gathered to represent the Earth in intergalactic races Feedback: Please and thank you Fandom: Original Pairing: OC/OC Warnings: Fingering, MF, MiCD, OC, Oral, Preg, Solo, Violence (light), Voy, WIP, Xeno Solo story or chaptered story: Chaptered URL: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600108508 Review Reply thread: I won’t lie; this is a rewrite of a fanfic. Not much has changed, for those silent readers. Please review, comment, talk to me, enjoy; whatever! I appreciate any and everything!

From ANON - The_CL on February 01, 2017 I came expecting some smexy fun and instead got sadness. You owe me a threesome! – DC Shorts Threesomes will be kept to a minimum in that story! You thought that was sad? Just you wait until the next snippet! thanks for the review, CL!

I could answer #2 but it looks like you’re abandoning it. But the answer to #3 is no lol

Awwz! So cute!!! – Tahn, Infinite Lyght I think she’s gonna be a great mom. A very overprotective one but a great one!

You big tease! The threesome was just a dream! But finally Wally and Mila get it on! On to the next chapter... CL – Forbidden Desire Awwww, they're in love! The last chapter was so sweet but I wanna know if there are going to be baby Wally's running around because all that action Mila's getting with no condoms...??? And yay! I'm caught up! CL – Forbidden Desire How am I a tease…? About time you’re caught up! lol nah; I know that you’ve been super busy and I appreciate you taking the time to read (especially since I was freaking out about those stupid comments...). Whether there will be baby Wallys soon will be slightly touched on in the next chapter… very slightly...

Alright, alright, alright! After… *checks calendar* nearly eight months, Book 3 of the Lyght series has started! Title: Infinite Lyght Summary: Tabitha J’onzz tries to balance marriage, motherhood and being a Justice League member. She gains new enemies, new adventures, new challenges and a surprising new ally. Feedback: Um… of course Discussion Thread Fandom: This has always been tricky for me. Because it’s a crossover between DC and Marvel. Any and all versions: cartoon, comics and movies. The last two books were posted under DC Cartoons because it mostly revolved around the Justice League Unlimited series. This one is under Comics-Crossovers because this book will deal a lot with Marvel Movie ‘Verse (and that’s the only spoiler you’re getting). Pairings: Tabitha J’onzz(OC)/J’onn J’onzz (can’t think of any other major pairings but will edit once my brain clears...) Warnings: Same as before: SFW, OC, SI, Preg, MC, MiCD, NoSex, Violence. Added: MaCD (major character death). There is mention of sexual assault but it’s only implied. URL: Infinite Lyght

So much sap I can make maple syrup. He's so adorable when he's flustered. -Tahn, Forbidden Desire Ha! Yeah, I bombarded that chapter with enough sap for endless pancakes! This is what happens when I force the characters to stay away from sex XD

Just a note on the latest chapter of Forbidden Desire, chapter 18: The restaurants mentioned are actual restaurants. I've never been to either one... the closest "overseas" I've ever been was Hawaii! The whole story about Barry and Wally becoming the Flash is true. However, in the comics, Wally ends up marrying Linda and they have twins. Iris didn't find out that Barry was the Flash until she overheard him talking in his sleep; this happened after they married. That's about it...? Of course, any questions that you have, here's the place to ask!

It amazes me that there are so many chapters to this story! Chapter 18, everyone! http://comics.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600061146&chapter=18 I'll post something in the review thread as far as extra info on this chapter

Aww, please let there be baby Wallys. Doc would go crazy looking after speedy toddlers, but it would be so cute!- Tahn, Forbidden Desire That would be funny, huh? Just imagine the swears she would have for Wally!

Chapter 17! http://comics.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600061146&chapter=17 I think we're drawing closer to the end. I mean, I say that and watch; ten more chapters! LOL

Chapter 9! http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600108236&chapter=9 Remember that estimate I mouthed off back when I posted chapter five...? Yeah, don't listen to that...

She's gonna be so sore in the morning, but I doubt she's gonna mind.- Anon (but really Tahn- long story...), Forbidden Desire Nope; she's used to being sore and all that dealing with the Martian!

Been busy with Camp NaNo but without further ado, here's chapter 16 (wow... we're 16 chapters in...). http://comics.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600061146&chapter=16

This sounds like a great idea. I know that there's a group who does this but they're a private group. However, maybe it would be allowed for you to gather a couple more people who would be willing to give out honest reviews and concrit to those wanting it. I'd assume someone who are like you, meaning that they would only have a problem reviewing either a certain fandom or a type of story. For example, I wouldn't review stories that have Minor but everything else is fair game! DP has a point, to go hunt for stories that have several chapters but like 5 reviews. But you never know who is looking for a review/concrit or who is simply writing to be writing and doesn't care for reviews. I'll think about it, lol! Honesty scares the bejesus out of me; I'm just getting over a harsh review on another site and I would need for my nerves to settle before it happens again! XD

Do I smell threesome, or trouble? -Tahn, Changes Trouble... always trouble... *nods sagely*

Aww, I like how she saved his dad. They are cute together, but that whole no marriage thing is prolley gonna bother her more in the future. How did Allen's life go? - Tahn, Changes Because I forgot to mention it in the latest chapter, I'll go ahead and say it here. Allen's life improved; he heeded her words and didn't get into trouble with his unit like before. Which meant he got a promotion and will make an effort to turn the military into a career. I do love Jazzy and Darren's relationship, except for the fact that he doesn't want to get married...

And here's chapter 8. Working on chapter 9 which has got me to my 15K goal http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600108236&chapter=8