KoKoa_B

Hello, all! Against my better judgment (thank you so kindly, Budweiser Platinums for making the decision for me...), I've posted a oneshot threesome! Because this is my first threesome, feedback is more than welcome. I've thought about making this longer but that's up in the air at the moment. The reason why it's titled as such: I actually wrote this story about three years ago with the intention of posting for the monthly drabble at the time. The theme was sunflower! By the time I came up with the idea, real life interfered as well as the month had passed! Anyway; I hope you enjoy it... Author: KoKoa B Title: Sunflower Summary: Best friends, Tabitha Lyght and Jamila Lindsey decide to get drunk. Martian Manhunter decides to join in on their fun! Feedback: Yes... feedback will be most appreciated! Review replies can be found here: http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/index.php/topic/59647-sunflower-review-responses-and-discussion/ Fandom: DC Comics/Cartoons Pairing: SI/J'onn J'onzz (Martian Manhunter)/OC Warnings: 3Some, Fingering, OC, Oneshot, Oral, PWP, SI, Solo, Voy, Xeno Solo story or chaptered story: Solo story (for now) URL: http://comics.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600061320

Hi there! Can I be honest with you? No? Oh, well; it's gonna happen, anyway! I'm a bit on the tipsy side and decided to post a story that I know needs some work! So, here is the thread to discuss that story: Sunflower. As of now, it's only a oneshot but if you read my author's note, you will know that I may have plans on making it into a longer story. Anyway; go ahead and discuss if you like! As always, concrit and feedback is especially wanted! http://comics.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600061320

Alright. Resurrection was just... wow! You're drawing up too many emotions for me; all I could do was sit there and read! I was sitting there, near tears and then boom! I'm waking my husband up for getting too loud! I have no questions right now. Just trying to let my heart settle at the moment!

XD How did I know you were going to comment like that?? Thank you, magus for taking the time to read it. I feel embarrassed because it's not done being revised but I'm still appreciative! I guess when you put it that way, then all aliens are tentacle monsters... *snickers*

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I would read that...

Ah, yes: summaries! I'm learning. Because I hate spoilers, my summaries were basically: Something happens to OC. *insert fandom* *insert disclaimers* *insert tags* *thank people for reading* I was always afraid that I would be one of those who told the entire story in my blurb. At least with my old way, I wouldn't run into that problem! XD

Oh, I've done that! I just found and realized that, along with my lackluster writing, I write in a obscure fandom. Not too many will venture to it, let alone to the pairings that I tend to write! Most prefer to read about just Batman or something extremely kinky involving DC super villainess...es. ... O_o the bad girls! It's something that I've learned to live with, something that the only thing I can do is just... update and cross my fingers! I know that my blurbs need working on as well; that's the first thing people see. It's gonna be a loooong editing process...

So, I don't know if I feel better or worse. Thank you guys, by the way; hearing that some of you go through what I go through helps a lot! She asked what was I looking for. I should've told her the truth: I wanted her to give me all the feedback that she could. But... I don't know. She said that it wasn't bad at all. That she had seen WAY worse and I was not a member of that club. But then it felt like she didn't want to read more. I told her that I never want to force anyone or make someone feel obligated to read anything of mine; that's the truth. But on the other hand, she's the first who critiqued that story (there was this one asshat that went to the second story of the series and complained that they didn't know what was going on and in my mind, I'm like- no shit; apparently, you skipped the blurb and the author's note stating that it was book two, as well as the link to guide you back to book one...) and she wasn't harsh. Anyway; she suggested that I ask someone to give some feedback and then said that she would see if any of her writing buddies would be interested in providing feedback as well. I feel... I don't know how I feel. Lots of things. Like a hand-me-down. Or this unique, undiscovered art form. But mainly like an orphaned step child. I just can't see myself going profile to profile, begging like some bum off the street! What does she thinks I am, assertive?!?! I mean, I know it would help a bit for those to discover me. But it just makes me feel weird doing that. Like I'm some 14 year old kid looking for approval and praise of some crappy art project that no one but mom would appreciate! *Sighs* I'm gonna go crochet some gratitude stones...

I just needed somewhere to rant/freak out about this! If you want to give me feedback on how big of a chicken wuss I am, go right ahead! I guess I've finally cried enough on another website about not getting any reads (although to be honest, I've stopped it a long time ago. Found out that writing was much more enjoyable if I didn't worry myself over who didn't read); someone is right at this moment, taking a look at one of my stories! And I have to say that I am scared shitless! I know, I know; concrit is helpful and yada, yada, yada! And I do appreciate feedback; I'm not one of those who only wants the positive and the "aejfnielbwivwslbv THIS STORY IS A-MAZZING" comments. They don't help. At all. I can only tell you thank you very awkwardly and go back to my crocheting! But, oh my God, I'm about to cry! She's critiquing the author's note, for crying out loud! *cries* I mean, she has a solid point and I'm going to make changes! But, still... is the author's note not even safe anymore?!?! So, now, tomorrow is going to be a very long day for me, filled with mini panic attacks. Because I know she's going to critique a couple of more chapters. And tell me not to quit my day job. Which sucks because I have no job to begin with! Yeah, KoKoa: good job impressing folks with the crapload of an info dump in the very first paragraph! Yep... that helped a ton! I should tell her. I should tell her that I know that I suck and that I need a lot of work and that my MC who I love with all my heart and would marry if she was real and I swung that way, is nothing but a Mary Sue. And that my plots are non existent. And my grammar... fuck, my grammar; that's ghost as well! Let's not start on my dialogue, which I found out that I write it like a five year old Hulk! Because if I tell her then she'll already know what to expect. Maybe she'll be a bit lenient on me and just go with a "you're right" critique. Just... ugh... here... *gives out hard drive* burn it; burn it all!! I've definitely got to be the only one who freaks out when it comes to this... but writing it all out has been slightly helpful

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This is going to be so patchy but I am hoping that someone will have some type of clue as to what I'm talking about! I ran into this fic about four years ago, when I first found out that people posted fanfiction online. I will be honest: I can't remember what site I found this but I'm 89% sure that it wasn't FFN! It was a one shot about Gaara and Sakura, where Sakura was in his home, preparing some type of meal. I don't remember if he was Kazekage yet but I think he was on a mission and came home to her wearing someone else's kimono (I Googled possible love interests for Gaara but seeing that this was a fanfic, the possibilities are endless! Let's go with what I found the most of: Matsuri or Sari) which was a bit tight on her. It could've been AU/AR... Anyway; they ended up making love, with him taking her virginity. Does anyone know what I'm talking about...? It would be much appreciated!

AH! Had no idea about this! Thank you for replying! I want to let you know or I need to say it in another way; I wasn't complaining about the little detail as far as ballet! LOL I was just glad that it was just bits and pieces here and there and not something where you'll say something about a form, not elaborate and then I'd have to go to Google! The story is very easy to follow and I really love it! I hate Kendra but I think I've established that! XD

I will admit that I am picky when it comes to stories about my Martian which there aren't that many. But I would never go to an author or even post a comment about how I couldn't stand a pairing. I may state that I don't like a character but it's more likely that they written the character that way in order to get that response! But to scream obscenities because I don't like that the author paired J'onn with Bruce? Never. I simply won't read it because it's not a pairing that I prefer. And here I thought that was common sense...

Hi, Big Man! Stumbled across this thread and made a decision to check out your stories! Thank you, Magus for posting the link! So, I read a couple of lines from The Privateer and started to make notes on what to ask you. Then, for a quick sec, I went to your profile to see what other stories you wrote as well as if I missed any tags. Came across KB and Me. Let's just say that I went from widened eyes to misty ones. I don't know what to say aside from sorry and that the story definitely didn't go the way I thought it was going to go! When you stated that if it was fictional, it would have a happier ending, I assumed that it would be about how you let go of the woman you truly loved. Never expected that. It was touching and sad. I'm going back to finish reading The Privateer, now...

The only time I am a fan of text speak is, well when I'm texting! I will admit that I am a heavy user of LOL because... honestly, how many of us actually type out: "I am laughing out loud at that"? ... LOL! The only time that I use actual text speak is when I'm in a hurry. More than likely I'm driving... and yes I am guilty of doing that! Not so much now that I've upgraded to an 100% touch screen; my texting is limited to stop lights and traffic jams... As far as an entire story written in text speak? Why would I want to read a story that focused on two characters texting each other unless it was a oneshot?! That's how a lot of these writers have to realize. Now, I've read stories where the scene was set in chat rooms and I guiltily enjoyed them. But, there is a vast difference between typing in a chat room and texting. Grammar. I ain't touching that! My grammar is horrible! So, yeah... moving on... There may be legitimate reasons for using abbreviations in a story. The military use them a lot... although they're technically acronyms. If it's an abbreviation or acronym that's detrimental to the story line, I see no need to spell it out. I'm going to use "NBA" and not the "National Basketball Association". If it can mean something else, then I would probably throw it around as a hint or make note of it in a small author's note (which is more than likely to happen because I can't sit there and assume that everyone knows what NBA is).

O_O I leave for a couple of days and miss all of this (huh; I was about to complain about not receiving notifications... but I forgot to follow this topic... -___-)! I'm actually getting more feedback than I imagined! I'm seeing that the overall opinion is "less is more", particularly when we're talking about genitalia! I also understand that it depends on whether we're talking about a MC or secondary character. Even still, I'd prefer at least something on the lines of "X side character was as tall as MC". I've realized too late that I should've been more specific with my slight rant! I was actually going on about height and possibly weight specifics. I don't know why but I never imagined that other measurements would be thrown into the mix! XD I believe I stopped attempting to throw out specific cock sizes (and I honestly think that it's only happened maybe twice in my short history of writing adult-like) and now reading through the comments, I'm debating about at least mentioning some sort of breast size (but not actual because it's just something that my writing doesn't focus on). I now get both sides of this, though. Some part of a writer (not all, just speaking in general) wants their audience to actually see what they've imagined when writing. So if my character is 6'8, athletic with an 8 inch cock, some part of me wants everyone else to see that. On the other hand, like Magus stated, I may not be attracted to something like that. I may prefer to imagine said character with features that I would find attractive; simply stating that he has a nice sized cock would be efficient enough! Or not; people have different opinions when it comes to being vague like that! But that ties into the reason why I made this post. If you're too vague, you risk receiving comments from readers asking to give some sort of size. "OMG, how big is 'big'?!" What I might think is a nice size may be too small to the next reader. This has actually happened to me in real life. I had a few friends who felt that 8 inches was not big enough and I'm like O_O w-what...? But... to each their own, I guess! Then, if you are very descriptive, down to the tee, you risk alienating by making it sound like, as Foe stated, a doctor's examination. I will have to simply find a medium and hope that it works! Regardless: I thought that I gave out thanks but I guess I didn't! Thank you guys! This discussion will affect how I describe measurements from now on.

Can we just start an "I Hate Kendra" fan club...?

O_o I just realized that I can go here to give people updates! Well... another chapter posted after such a long hiatus!

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Huh. I was told not to write how I spoke! O_o Maybe I'm too southern/country/ghetto...? Anyway; I found another method to help me out a bit and it seems to work. Coupled with two online editing software, I should be okay...

Yay!

I do agree that there are some areas that may not need any type of measurement. A lot of times, it's not detrimental to the story or the writer won't specify on it. Like with me and breasts. It's just not my thing. So you won't find me writing about actual sizes when it comes to breasts unless it's being asked in dialogue; they would be just... breasts! Okay; maybe there would be a slight mention of them trying to pop out of their restraints or something on the lines of that. But as far as stating that so-and-so had small breasts or even size DD or whatever, I won't do that! I used to be one of those ones who gave out exact penis size! As far as guys actually measuring their junk? It was always rumored that they did when I was back in junior high! The Chargers thing. I'm a football fanatic but never liked the San Diego Chargers. I saw the meme, fell out laughing and it's been with me ever since!