SirGeneralSir

what about chinese and japanese gods and their minions/warriors? i know that both had gods of many different kinds, some were scary as fuck too. in some ways almost like the greek and roman only more twisted (i mean that in a good way)

i wouldn't think of a berserker as being a celestial/holy ish type of warrior. i guess im looking for something that's kind of the typical knight in shining armor on a mythical level? I already have plans for Templars, Paladins and Crusaders. I need more diversity, maybe some kind of celestial asian warriors?

right, but does anyone have a male only warrior ...... cast? kind of with the same idea? im working on a project thats kind of a LOTR and D&D ish kind of world, a faction of celestial beings exists and they have a number of ......classes? Arch Angel (top guy male or female) Angel (just below Arch) Fairies (human sized) Sprites ( Tinkerbell sized) Pixie (a little bigger than Sprites) Valkyries and ......... front line warriors of the celestial faction.

im looking for something from mythology about male warriors that are minions of a god. an example would be like the Valkyries, i need a male counter part, origin doesn't matter.

frame the guard for something, leave his badge somewhere and steal something.

i still need a beta, i am also open to ideas from my betas, adding in things or removing things I am open to considering as needed.

ive learned that if you are describing the character in 3rd person ( sally was a lovely blond girl that stood at five five with .... ) it can be good as an introduction, but many people tend to go overboard with it and have in some cases an entire page dedicated to the single description of this one person. now if it was the POV of another character, you probably wouldn't use measurements like that but instead something like ( As i looked up at the young woman, her golden blond hair caught my attention .... ) if you wanted a specific measurement of the person, there should be a reason they know it, like having a cybernetic eye that scanned them, or they were standing next to the measurement tape at the door to a store, either way there should be some reason of being able to tell from a characters perspective. but i think it really comes down to HOW you write it out.

so Cat people = Catta independant race/culture very adventurous and curious about things, loves to explore and touch things they should not High elves = Alfheimr (Norse mythology) Dark elves = Svartalfaheim (Norse mythology) Alfheimr are a highly advanced race, very arrogant and disrespectful towards other races and cultures, act as if they are all below them. Svartalfaheim are genetically altered Alfheimr bred to be expendable cannon fodder in times of war or expendable lifeforms for other jobs. (take this rock to that guy over there, watch out for the monsters looking for dinner) very spiteful, tend to hate all other races, very sneaky and underhanded, always plotting something. how does that sound?

I agree. its like trying to grade your own math test, you know you worked the problem, you think it should be right so its not uncommon for people to read it in their mind and not read the actual words used. BUT when its someone elses test or in this case story, you have no idea what is actually coming up so you tend to read each word and it makes you notice things. ive had 3? betas helping me on my story, each of them had a different style of editing but the results were the same, the mistakes i ran into were slowly being weeded out of myself with the exception of simple type Os wishing it wasnt so hard to find a beta but not much you can do about that. but i do find the people on the shotbox tend to be willing to help you run a line or a phrase, as long as you ask first

anything thats helpful, as you said something more than the standard "please make more" even if its something that you may not actually want to hear, its how its said thats really important. "Yes i was reading your story and i think that it is 100% rubbish, the plot .... the characters ...... but i did like ......" its not a flame but its clear the person didnt like the story. its better to have people tell you what and how you messed something up so you can fix it than people kissing your ass or telling you nothing.

well the idea is that the setting takes place on an alien world where a research installation has been setup to study the planet. at current count i have Humans, first elf like races thats more like high elf, second sub race like dark elves and then the cat race. there is a LARGE asteroid heading for the planet, the defence network destroys it and anything that would be too big to let hit the planet, but there was something on the rock and now is all over the place. the creatures, just like the MC, start off like slugs "slither" and attack and absorb anything that they consume and mutate to add some of its traits into their DNA and give them abilities. at first, the creature is just looking to survive, to grow and feed becoming stronger. now its not like the others of its own kind are friendly towards it or anything, its kind of a battle royal between them, if i'm bigger and stronger, i will eat you too .... and your little dog. during an encounter with one of its own kind and a humanoid, maybe a soldier protecting the facility, a scientist or even one of the young aids/students, the other creature and humanoid are killed giving it 2 things to consume and evolve from. the knowledge it gets from the humanoid is fragmented but gives it a new understanding of whats on the planet, it knows there is a lot of food, but now it knows there is more to existence than just growing. its supposed to be a kind of horror story, lots of blood and gore, psychological and things that would make both men and women cringe in respects to our different genders etc. its still all up in the air at the moment, im just in the planning phase.

so far i have Neko Catta i heard furlings on an ep of stargate, never saw the episode

how would a transporter accident create X number of women from different locations and time lines?

lol yes, but wasnt that their team name? like Power Rangers or something? maybe from Latin catta humm, maybe because the MC creature consumed a humanoid, got its knowledge and memories and the enemy it faces are others of its own kind that only see the "Soft ones" in the buildings as food and breeding material

lol only 2 of the "space elves" I didnt know. first row 1st and 3rd one, so first 2 on the left. in my mind i guess im thinking of a MUCH more feline version of an anime style or navie like creature, clearly an alien with cat like appearances. its main goal isnt impregnation, its to grow and evolve.

lol ive heard someone refer to the vulcans and romulans as being space elves, i am a big fan of ST and agree with your statement, except with Klingon, there more like Vikings and Bikers. i dont know CJ cherryh"s work, googled it real quick. is there something that you didnt understand about what im working on or asking? i know i tend to over explain ....... sometimes.

i know a good amount of the star trek universe, though i am not the best speller etc, i can at least be someone you could bounce ideas off of. for example, using characters from multi time periods would sound odd unless you explain it as one of two things that i could see. 1: time travel 2: clones I would use clones, then you can make up some kind of reason why in general, with time travel then you need to explain each characters reason or it could become an annoying question for readers.

well the idea is a space age setting, there is a colony and its mostly students and scientists (talked about it in an older post) an asteroid is heading towards the planet, the orbital defense destroys it but sends little bits all over the place. the MC is an alien creature that survived, its goal is at the moment to feed, attacking little creatures like frogs, raccoon's, birds etc and mutates based on what it absorbs/assimilates and grows each time it "eats" something. im not sure if i would have the creature attack the colonists or not, i was thinking of having it come after a animal that IS attacking some colonists and kills one while the rest run off, leaving it to eat both the animal and the person, gaining in size and intelligence. a kind of "Aliens" and "Slither" with a some "Predator" and "Planet of the apes" .......... if you play starcraft 2 Heart of the swarm, also think primal zerg. anyways, I wanted to add cat people "Neko" because im also adding more races like elves, (High elf and Dark elf) as an alien race (star trek kind of did it so can I ) im trying to come up with a list of creatures/people that could be seen in a space age setting as a space faring faction or what have you. im also working on the idea of the creature impregnating some of the women, not sure in what ways yet, literally and if its consensual or not because its not supposed to be the "BAD GUY" just ...... different.

so ive been looking at a lot of fantasy art, WOW, D&D etc and there are a few races/species that I am planning to use in an original story of my own, i just dont know if there is an actual name for some of the species. for example, we have Naga, sater, gorgon, harpy. but what would cat people be called? ive seen the term "Neko" used, but is there a different term?

I have done it for my wife and I found that it can help to expand your mind into your own ideas and plans for your own stories, not only that but as you see the mistakes you can't help but take note of it (sometimes) and if its something that you tend to do as well, it can remind you not to do it. its kind of like practice for your own editing of your stories.

I say it depends on your tastes, culture and standards for what you read. if you are looking for proper and professional style then yes I would agree with a number of them, but if you just want to read a damned story, then no.

I agree with Foe there. I have a Naruto fic, as it stands i have 47897 hits/views on it, but only 31 reviews. why do I have so many people reading the story when its my first one? because of the fandom and probably because of the tags on it too. lost of people like preg, lesbians, threesums + and countless other things. let me put it this way, if there was a story in the ......... Zelda universe, you're going to get a lot of people looking at it, but if you have one in the ..... Care Bear universe, maybe not so much. if you are set on this story, thats 100% fine, dont just drop it because we are saying things that you dont want to hear, finish your story the way you want it to go, just remember people will generally follow with the idea of canon, so anything you change has to be explained or you could confuse people and that would hurt your story too.

Yeah to me, thats not my cup of tea. but the points I was trying to make, is that the elements that you are using can both hurt and help you. for example is it explained how the girl survived, did she move at the last second and so on. for me, a story like that sounds rather boring if they have been saved etc, the only things they are facing is the internal problems between themselves, but if they were still on the island, still facing A and B problems, that could make it much more interesting. as it stands, it just sounds like another typical drama movie/TV show where guy and girl have problems, have to deal with them, have more unexpected problems, deal with this and that, etc etc etc. again, that said, you could even make it more of a twist that instead of the girlfriend getting killed, she lived, or there was another person, a stranger, male or female. my advice is this, find your ending, where do you want the story to actually go, does the guy become king of the planet, does he save the princess, stop the evil corporation or what have you, find that ending and work towards that in mind.

once the energy has been deposited and starts making the changes to the energy in their bodies, it will knock them out for at least a day. though im going to make it that the energy does more than just cure them, its going to alter them a bit too.

that should be easy, the sex scenes are going to be from the girls POV, already got the first girl done, mostly. they are each virgins in that they have no male experience, touching and the like to themselves yes, but he is their first. i just hope i describe that part right too