SirGeneralSir

So i did make a post before, sorry if thats not a good thing, dont know if i can delete it. any ways, my fic is a Naruto Shippuuden universe, its a slight AU that takes place AFTER the show from my POV. that emo bastard Sasuke is dead, Konoha is still being rebuilt as 1/2 of it has been. there are some OCs, the arrival of some old characters from some movies. there will be alot of violence and other things, trying to keep true to the Naruto style while still being my own. Lots of suffering on Naruto's part that will later give him some rewards. I didnt have a beta at the time of posting CH 1 - CH 3 so its going to be a little rough in places, so please if you Read it, i would like some kind of a Review, any errors you see please point out where and what. http://naruto.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600103481

Thanks for the tips and help. because im a little Dsylexic, showing me what i did wong is better as to just sayin *rule .... and ..* because to me that means nothing, when i can see what i did wrong then i get the *oh shit* factor and then i can correct it from there. once again thanks for the help.

i should also note, that i have a minor case of Dsylexia, meaning some words i dont see it as X because it looks alot like some thing else, most of all if its a long word.

If you have read and reviewed my Fic, i would like you to be able to add to what you have said in here, if you have not had a chance to read it, you can find it here. http://naruto.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600103481 i just ask that you remaind respectful in your comments, in short be a polite ass, yes that is ironic.

i like brutal honesty as long as its respectful. eg: this was wrong (bla bla bla) but it was understandable as (bla bla bla) in short im just asking for some one to be a polite ass .... yes i do see that as an Oxymoronic *sp* thing to say

this is my first time requesting for one, but all im asking for is some one to tell me if what they think. was the story clear, how did it read, was it interesting etc. do note that there is/will be violence, sex and other actions that may be questionable, i just dont know what they might be right now. im doing this to try and better my writing skills so being honest works best.

im trying to describe priestess shion as found in this pic here http://pics.livejournal.com/mad_researcher/pic/0000754k does she just have a Kimono on or what, also how would you describe the red lining on the top half, would you just say it as *with a red lining* or what? thanks to any one that can help

yes im sure some of you may think this, but im not trying to be an attention hog or desperate for any. BUT, if any one that did read my story, i would really really like to know what you think of it. should i keep going, do you even like the story, im working on the 2nd chapter now so some kind of feedback would really help me out alot. was it too short? was it too polite? *not enough cursing* was it too violent? *ha is there such a thing?* was there not enough violence? *i could see that* please please pritty please ........... yeah i sound desperate dont i? .... and my spelling sucks too i know.

well ether way, AU or AR. im still new the the entire whats what and every thing, hence my first posted fic. ....... you didnt happen to read it did you?

So its a slight AU of Naruto but is still some what close to cannon. story takes place some weeks after the invasion of Pain, Naruto has suddenly started to change, some thing is up as he is not acting like his normal self and no one knows why. its just the first chapter so not all tags will apply at the moment Abuse, AFFO, Anthro, Bi, D/s, MCD, OC, Other, Preg, TF, Tort, Violence, WIP. if you read it please i ask that you review it, please be respectful while still being a critic http://naruto.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600103481

well ive posted my first chapter to my Naruto fic, im not sure where to talk about it because it covers a few things. its slight AU and will later have a bit of a Harem element to it and a few other things too. if i could get some people to read it and review it for me please? tell me if i fucked it up or if its a good start to a story, i figure 15 chapters migh cover it. http://naruto.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600103481

so if i could get some feedback on this. an effectionate nickname for Ino by Naruto being Yellow Tresure, to be used as "she is my Yellow Tresure" "you are my Yellow Tresure" Ino Pig and Piglet being things that only Sakura can call her so Naruto needs to be able to call her soem thing. Hinata i figure Hime (translates to Princess) i couldnt think of any thing else fitting her, i was trying soem thing for her hair color or maybe her eyes but i was drawing a blank, if any one can come up with any please let me know. could i get some feedback on this please?

im looking for a good list of nicknames for the girls of Naruto. so far i just have one for Sakura - cherry blossom i need one for Hinata, thou in a fic some one used a gem thou cant remember what it was one for Ino, again in a fic she was a flower like sakura i also need one for 2 girls of the Naruto movies, priestess Shion from the first of the shippuden movies and Amaru (the medic) from the 2nd movie of shippuden Bonds. the last 2 are not too important, but Hinata and Ino i would really like to have some for them.

im creating some flashbacks for Naruto and i want people to tell me what they think of what ive done to him in the way of, what did you feel from it, does it sound like some thing that would, could or might have happened, did it make you cry etc. Images now turned to a single candle being light stuck in a chocolate cupcake with sprinkles on it, a Six year old Naruto looking at it while sitting at his kitchen table also looking out the small window across from him as he began to sadly sing to him self while chocking back on his own tears. “Happy … Happy Birthday … Happy Birthday Too me … Ha … Hap… Happy Birth…. Day…To…. Me…. Happy Birthday To Me” Suddenly as a brick came flying thru the window Naruto ducked under his table to hide from the broken glass flying thru the air as the brick its self lands directly on his cupcake, hiding under the table he slowly peeks up at the damage to see that his cupcake has been smashed and covered in glass, but what hurts him the most is the words DIE painted on the brick as tears well up in the little boys eyes once again. There then came shouts from outside the window as people chanted “DIE DEMON DIE” “GO TO HELL MONSTER” “GET OUT OF OUR VILLAGE”

im new to the site and starting on a Naruto fic, it might become a harum fic not sure. right now im just running some ideas if i could get some feedback on them. the idea is that it takes place in the Shippuden series after Pain attacks and sestroys the village leaving almost every one homeless, friends and allies come to help including 2 girls from 2 of the movies. not wanting just mindless sex im thinking that some thing happens to naruto like getting poisoned by a chakra based poison, he almost dies and one thing leads to another. who and how im still working on it all and i know its not much but i would like some ideas.