Asexual Biped

Hi all! I have an m/m oneshot that I need beta-ing. I really just need grammar help and maybe help fixing awkward sentences. If any glaring plot errors or things that don't make sense could be pointed out, that would be wonderful too. As I stated, it's an original slash fic. I would count it as erotica, though it's not what you see everyday. It has pet-play (a fetish that does NOT involve animals) and spanking as well as consentual sex, nothing else really. If you want to send me something you've beta-ed, that'd be nice, but I don't require it. After all, if I don't agree with your advice, I don't have to listen to it. Though, I'm pretty open to any advice given. I want to make my story the best it can be, after all. Please send a PM, or leave a comment in this thread, if you're interested! Thank you!

I can help. I've done enough research on BDSM and the like to be pretty knowledgeable on the subject. In fact, I have a BDSM oneshot up in the Archives, if you want to take a look at my writing. I'm pretty competent in the fields of grammar and spelling and I should be able to help you with content, if you think it needs help. I would give you a link for my prior editing work, but the author I'd beta-ed for took his stuff from the site and I haven't started for my newest author. I may be able to help with all the chapters, but I don't know how hectic my schedule's going to get since I just started a new semester at my school. Either way, if you choose to use me as your beta, it'll be fun working with your story. If you don't choose me, I wish you luck with whomever you find.

Those explanations on how it feels after have multiple orgasms is actually a huge help. Thanks Jyet, Kelk and Scotsman! I'll probably still go to a BDSM forum, but at least I now have an idea about the sensations a guy goes through. :3

Well, the way I wanna use this in my oneshot is as forced orgasm. In a sense, the guy is forced to orgasm, get hard again, and keep going (it's a BDSM thing) over and over. I guess I really want to know if any of the guys on here have gone through something like that. I thank you for the info though! I didn't know about the half-orgasm thing. =)

So, I know for women, multiple orgasms isn't something unheard of. For men, though, you shoot one and call it done for a bit. What I wanna know, as reference for my (future) oneshot, is if there are any males here that have had multiple orgasms in a short period of time. How does it feel? Is it difficult for the subsequent orgasms to come after that first one? Is it painful or does it feel good? ANy kind of help with this would be appreciated! =3

Well put BW! Well put, and probably scarily accurate...

I just yell at people through my shut windows. It also helps that I'm female and, thus, don't have the same fear from other female drivers. =)

As a reader, a scene can be boring if there's little to no description. You don't necessarily need tons of action and excitement, but if you don't at least describe what's going on so that we can paint an mental picture, we'll get lost. There have been many a story that I've dropped because I couldn't figure out what was going on because they had very few details. As an author, once again, detail. I just go through what I wrote and say 'Do this give a good picture of what's being done?' If not, more detail. Hope this helps! =3

14016

I'm am entirely ok with a blunt editor, being one myself. I can send you the piece in a pm since I haven't posted it yet, me being the type to not post anything until I'm completely satisfied with it.

Oh, dear Lord, help us. WHY is it illegal to maul those people??

There are people who seriously do that?? I hope I never find one!

Gawd, I know! The author's notes almost jarred me more than the lame POV markers did! D:

So, I need a beta to go through a oneshot I just wrote and let me know if there are any errors, scenes that don't make sense, or dialogue that sounds forced. It's nine pages in length, nearly 5,000 words long, and, what I believe to be a darkfic. It contains: non-con shouta (oral, fingering and masturbation; no sex) death torture abuse violence other bad stuff I believe it's pretty gruesome for others, but I'm a bad judge of my own writing. if you'd like to help me out, either send me a pm or reply to this thread. Thank you!

I can be your beta if you don't mind my hectic life schedule. I read your prologue and, while there isn't much to help you with (since it doesn't contain much plot and you are quite adept at grammar), I can help you fine-tune the wording and such. I tend to be a blunt beta, but I'm not intentionally insulting (at least, no one's told me I am). If you accept, I can give you a detailed breakdown of what I find through the forum PMs, since that tends to be the easiest for me. =3 It would probably be easier to announce your denial or acceptance in a PM since I'll probably lose this thread. It's happened before. ._.;

I can be your beta if you don't mind my hectic life schedule. I've just read chapter 1 and found things that I can help you with. I'm generally a blunt beta, but I don't try to intentionally insult your writing/story. If you can handle that, I can give you a detailed list of things that need fixing through PM here on the forums. It would probably be better to reply your denial or consent through my PM. I'll probably lose track of this thread. That tends to happen to me. ._.;

Knight pretty much said it all. I don't have much to add, and what I do have doesn't have much to do with the actually conversation. My thought is on the actual comment made: If whoever it was said something about about women being unable to write male sex scenes solely based on an Anne Rice novel, then they need to expand their reading horizons. Anne Rice has a very distinct style that is, like you said, very flowery and full of detail. That's how nearly all of her books are. It's a tad unfair to all other female writers to base an opinion about all women writers from one author with such a distinct writing style.

My Muse is Cat. She's an actual cat: cunning, lazy and self-absorbed. She's an ordinary, long-haired tabby cat, with her gorgeous bands of gray and black fur and partial mane. She doesn't speak outright, but she has a knack for giving you the perfect look to portray what she thinks of you at just that moment. She's very finicky and rarely comes when called. She likes to prance, right outside of my reach. If I try to forcefully grab her, she saunters off and laughs a feline laugh. She likes to mess with me: no matter how much I desire to get something written, she won't come to me unless she wants to. When she finally comes to me, there are two ways she goes about it. 1) She'll rub her head along my legs, a gentle push and reminder that she's present. She'll only allow me a leisurely pace, from a few pages to a short chapter. 2) This is her insistent mode, where she purposely jumps onto my lap and demands I pet her as she lounges on her back an purrs up a storm. Pages and chapters flow at the speed of her purring and I can only stop when she finally gets bored. Like all cats, she can be a lovable creature, but only when it suits her to be. You have to gain her trust and respect to get anything, but the world is at your fingers when you do. My Beast is also Cat. Because of her stingy, lazy nature, it's not often that she'll grace me with her presence. I can go a looong time without the desire to write (like now D: ) or the ability to get anything worthwhile down on paper. She can be apathetic to my frustration and need to write down the many plots floating in my head. I can be bored out of my mind, unable to find anything to read, wanting to write, and she won't care, just sitting back and watching me suffer. She also doesn't help my writing in anyway, just telling me when I can write. I get no real help with dialogue, action or plot from her. When I'm chipping away at a plot, during a rare visit from her, she'll just sit or lay nearby and stare at me blandly with half-lidded eyes. The only thing she will do is allow me to write and give me overall ideas on plots I can use.

Oh, then he's awesome! Thanks for the info, JayDee! =3

13791

13787

This is, apparently, my best: Stuffed Mushrooms 4-6 large portabello mushroom caps (or 6-8 medium ones) 1 medium onion (white or sweet) 1 can of diced tomatoes 2-4 stalks of celery 1 lb of whatever meat you like (I prefer chicken) Parmesan cheese Wash mushrooms, cut off stems and scoop out the gills. Save both. Preheat the oven to 425 F. Place cleaned mushrooms on a baking sheet and place in oven. Remove when slightly brown (may want to do this halfway through cooking). Place cut onion and celery into a hot, oiled pan and saute until close to soft (or as soft as you want). Once soft, add meat to the veggies and cook until it's no longer raw. Once meat is cooked, add tomatoes and mushroom bits to the whole thing and let it cook on low until the liquid evaporates. (This usually takes close to 50 minutes for me since I fear burning the dish. You can cook it faster if you prefer.) Add 1/4 cup of Parmesan cheese when half to three-fourths of the liquid is gone. Spoon the cooked mix into your browned mushroom caps. Sprinkle cheese on top and bake until the mass (mushroom and filling) solidifies and doesn't fall apart. Enjoy! (The amounts of onion, celery, meat and tomatoes depends on how much you like of each item. This is just a general guide.)

I got Dan Brown (my BDSM oneshot), Chuck Palahniuk (who??) and Stephenie Meyer. XD I kinda wanna kill myself for that last one.