FairySlayer

re: "The Dark Side of the Bright Side" (Instead of quoting I'll just link to the reviews posted on The Archive for this story.) kisakimiko: Of course I couldn't let all of Skullboy's abuse of the girls go unpunished. “Bad skeleton!” Dropping hints about his indestructibility in chapter 2 was also to make the girls' plight seem inescapable, but I think being cocky about it also made his downfall all the more satisfying. gabe: Thanks. I try.

Pen Name: Fairy Slayer Story link: Sweets Victory Type of fic: Flashfic Rating: Adult Fandom: Anime > +M to R > Read or Die the TV Pairing: N/A Warnings: Challenge, Complete/Oneshot, Death, NoSex, Violence (non-graphic)

First off, when wearing pants or underwear one definitely feels his penis pushing against it. Even when unrestricted there is enough sensation of pressure to be fairly certain, and if he moves he'll definitely feel the difference as it bobs (even if it's just walking). Basically he can feel himself getting hard either way, but there's a lot more feedback when it's restricted.

Pen Name: Fairy Slayer Story link: End-ora Type of fic: Flashfic Rating: General Audiences Fandom: TV > 1-F > Bewitched Pairing: N/A Warnings: Challenge, Complete/Oneshot, NoSex

These are my replies to Reviews for The Dark Side of the Bright Side (Ruby Gloom): Evil Fairy, I can hardly thank you enough for even the tremendous work you put into proofreading and editing this story. Yet on top of all that I'm honored that you'd write such thoughtful analyses of the chapters. You even picked up on a few things that weren't specifically on my mind, such as Ruby's specific brand of optimism in the face of such a depressing reality. I focused simply on making Ruby sound and act like herself in the narrative without concentrating on her personality traits themselves. It's just her normal, lovable self reacting the people and events around her, as described by Tommy Simms' original slice-of-life ficlet. Of course she couldn't help but give a little push towards bettering things here and there, even though each little push took a lot of effort. Making Skullboy unstable and psychotic wasn't too hard because he's halfway there in the show. (Even his TV version reminds me not to get overly wrapped up in trying to figure out who I am, or especially why.) Thank goodness for Doom Kitty and Mr. Buns providing some sweetness, along with Iris spreading the fun and laughter even after some traumatic events. Misery's initial distance and her suicide attempts were also based on Tommy's original bit (along with Ruby's complete naiveté, Iris's frequent victimization, and Mr. Bitey's unhappy role). One reason I accepted Tommy's request was because it didn't take long for me to create the entire situation he wanted and, more importantly, the series of triggers which would drive the story along. Now that I think back, Misery was at least a little bit like Ruby deep down, caring enough to heal the girl who had always avoided and feared her. (And, like Ruby, Misery probably didn't expect the severe consequences caused by that act of kindness.) As a kid I came across a lot of science books and had science teachers demonstrate that soaking a bone in vinegar makes it soft and rubbery; when it's dried out it becomes hard again. I guess that must have been mentioned in one of Poe's books too. Granted, it usually takes a lot longer (perhaps days) for even small chicken bones to turn rubbery, but I used some creative license there. After Poe and Iris executed their plan, all of that time in the workshop was apparently spent repurposing his bones into all of those new fixtures. Hence, '...in a way, Skullboy was still all around us.' (Every time Iris sits on her new toilet seat she probably laughs and says, "Bite my ass, Skullboy!") In a third-person person story it could have been clearer, but the first-person perspective imposed limits. The whole story was from Ruby's point of view and she didn't know the truth, so his fate could only be hinted at strongly. Explaining what I could and making sure Ruby didn't really understand everything was a bit of a balancing act. Using the mirror in Iris' bedroom in chapter 2 and glossing over the location of the pipes-cluster in the inn's basement helped, but at other times I could only have her notice a hint of something being odd but then shrug it off. I'm glad you liked it, and thanks for commenting.

I've written a couple more reviews (for kisakimiko's chapter 2 of "Dead Warmed Over" and for Ulforce Diizoid's "Dresden Files: Collapse to your Needs.") so I'll add to my list the story I finished yesterday: Title: The Dark Side of the Bright Side Genre/Group: Misc Cartoons > General: Ruby Gloom Summary: To make ends meet, Ruby Gloom and her friends are forced work the streets as prostitutes, under Skullboy's protection. But from whom do they really need protection the most? To make things worse, even the nicest gestures only seem to invite tragedy. All the while Ruby struggles to remain optimistic and strong. Warnings: Abuse, Anal, BDSM, Bi, Challenge, COMPLETE, DP, F/F, H/C, lang, loli, M/F, Minor, Moresome, Oral, Other, Tort Link: The Dark Side of the Bright Side

I'm not into "The Big Valley" nearly as much as you are, but I'd be willing to try. Finding typos and commenting on style will be easy, but I don't remember much about the show. I'll have to take your word for it regarding character portrayals and dialogue/speaking styles, though your story "The Initiation" did give me a good feel for the characters involved. Now, I am a bit pedantic but I'm fairly good at controlling those instincts when it comes to storytelling style. However I have some pre-conditions, both because I've been burned by writers a few times, and because this procedure has been working extremely well for my beta and me (her beta as well). You'll need to use Microsoft Word, OpenOffice, or some other program that's compatible with Word's proofreading and annotations/comments feature. I'll turn on change-tracking while proofreading so that you can see the marked-up copy and decide which changes to accept or reject. Trust me: You will love these features once you learn how to use them. Seriously dudette, seriously. Please make sure you truly believe the story (or chapter) is done before sending it, and don't make any changes while waiting for the markup copy to be returned. (That's for your sake mostly. ) I can't promise overnight turnaround, maybe up to a few days, and likely more if it's a very long story. After you review the changes you can, if you wish, make another set of tweaks and changes as you see fit, but make sure change-tracking is enabled so that I can see your new changes. Though Spiderman says, "Everybody gets one," (in Family Guy) I'm willing to do a second pass — but no more. My brain will have retained too much by then. After you get that copy back you can accept or reject stuff as you see fit. You should be ready to publish it at that point. I also reserve the right to add very silly comments as I read the story. Caveat auctor!

After many months and a few interruptions, I've finally finished the Ruby Gloom story that Tommy Simms requested! Title: The Dark Side of the Bright Side Author: Fairy Slayer Rating: Adult Pairings: Ruby/Skullboy; Ruby/Iris/Misery, together and with johns & janes (prostitution) Summary: To make ends meet, Ruby Gloom and her friends are forced work the streets as prostitutes, under Skullboy's protection. But from whom do they really need protection the most? To make things worse, even the nicest gestures only seem to invite tragedy. All the while Ruby struggles to remain optimistic and strong. Feedback: Yes please! (If I need to reply to reviews the thread will be in the ... Cartoon > Moresome subforum.) Fandom: Ruby Gloom Warnings: Abuse, Anal, AU/AR, BDSM, Bi, ChallengeFic, COMPLETE, DP, F/F, H/C, language, loli, M/F, Minor, Moresome, Oral, Other, Tort URL: The Dark Side of the Bright Side A special thanks goes out to my "beta" (proofreader and editor really) Evil Fairy for her tremendous help with corrections, terrific notes, and no small amount of encouragement. Thanks sincerely, Fairy Slayer EDIT: As Chandler would say, "This story is so AU/AR!" Duh-me, and sorry for the oversight.

What I often find discouraging is the simple and plotless lemons (which I call "Dick in Jane stories") getting many comments, yet little or none of them are critique. (Usually there are a lot of, "I want to see...!") But people enjoy writing them and there's a big demand for it. It makes me a little jealous, but it also makes me truly appreciate when people leave any comments on my stories, even it's to say they don't like the story (non-flame) because at least they gave it a chance. I only comment on stories if there is enough to like about them, at least a thread of good storytelling. Like Alor.Sky, I point out the good stuff along with what needs improvement. I use the old "sandwich" method: nestle the criticism between two positive sets of comments (likes on top and encouragement on the bottom), though I may start or end with a qualifier too. If I give an author detailed con-crit and solutions and they don't heed my advice in their following stories then I won't comment on the new stories, even if I enjoy them. I admit I probably overdo the praise sometimes, but I do try to keep an eye on myself. I'm also more likely to seek out stories by people who've commented on mine, and no matter how hard I try to be objective I'm sure there's an unconscious bias there. One thing that may have a small impact on the higher ratings is that the default value in the pull-down is the highest. Even when a story deserves less, I feel a tinge of guilt pulling the rating to a lower level. It sounds stupid, yes, but it's real.

Under the Author Panel -> Add story it shows up to the right of the "-Choose SubCategory-" drop-down menu. Now that I poke around, I'm guessing that it's supposed to go to the forum thread "Subcategories" under "Please Read! -> Archive FAQs" post (which makes my head spin a bit , but I'm guessing it's really targeted more for the anime+ authors). To make sure, I went into the panel from Cartoons, Anime and Naruto too and the links are the same. (And wow! So many subdomains/subcategories!) The Category Help link next to the "-Choose Category-" box goes to the right place though.

(I was about to start a new topic, but I think it fits in here nicely.) In my most recent story ("Cakewalk on the Catwalk") there were two scenes involving drugs: one was a pusher convincing a girl to accept a bag with a few joints, but they were never used; the other was a girl injecting insulin. At the time that seemed like enough to use the Drugs/Alcohol ("D/A") tag, but in retrospect I wonder whether that meets the threshold. (I will leave that tag on the story, though, and there was never any doubt that this story needs the Bestiality tag. ) A few other examples come to mind: Drugs/Alcohol : Characters go out for drinks and feel relaxed but not necessarily "buzzed" before they consider then engage in sex. (Or for NoSex it convinces them to try tightrope waking for the first time — They'd better use a net!) Bestiality : A woman visits a friend's home and the friend's dog runs up and nuzzles her crotch for a few moments, heightening any arousal or need she'd already been feeling, but there's no actual sex act involving the dog. Rimming : While licking up some juices someone's tongue slips across the back door a few times. Slavery : If it's role-playing then how "into it" do the participants need to be? Also, does it matter whether the fact that it's role-playing is mentioned before or after the role-playing? (I did look for a "Role-playing" tag on the latest Story Codes list.) My concern is that using tags too liberally may turn readers away even though there are only hints about that activity in the story. Of course, I'll always be tempted to use tags that I think will increase readership if (I can make myself believe?) there's just enough of it in the story. So where do you find yourselves on the borderline when choosing story codes/tags?

I just had a thought (late in the game): since exobiology is a term for discussing life on other planets, perhaps exophilia would do the trick. (It's not perfect, as "astrobiology" seems to be the more official term; also, "exoplanets" specifically refers to planets outside of the solar system.) It's not necessarily better than any of the other ideas posted, but I thought I'd throw it out there anyway.

As I was checking this thread just now I noticed the above idea. At least in the cartoon section of The Archive I've seen only a few shows listed with those subcategories; even in those cases they usually have only one or the other option. Also, when looking for stories I personally like to see all at once since any of the three couples options could strike my fancy — but I truly understand that there are many constraints and other considerations in maintaining The Archive. Worst case though, I can always save room in my description text limit to add the tags myself. Plus, in many cases, authors note types or even actual pairings in their notes at the start of the first chapter anyway. Just my 2¢. (By the way, the Subcategory Help link is broken. I looked at your author page to see if I could find a new link, but admittedly I looked in only five or six sections.)

It looks like the [/size] and [/color] tags landed inside of the the [/quote]'s opening [ : [quote][color="#222222"][size="2"]Hehe - no writer is perfect![[/size][/color]/quote] (Man, it's tough to show the tags without there being a [noparse] tag!)

Two favorite clips from Mad TV:

re: "Cakewalk on the Catwalk" I just wanted to say a quick thanks for reading it and leaving an encouraging comment. It sounds like the story hit where I was aiming, and I certainly appreciate a reader who enjoys the whole story. Heck, I was worried that there weren't enough sex scenes and that they didn't happen soon enough, so your note was made me feel a lot better about that too.

I have just reviewed cowgirl65's story "Initiation"(and plan to do at least one more soon), so please count me in! From the stories I've seen listed so far I understand that there may not be many cartoon fans following this thread, but that's why I started with a short one then with "The Simpson" (since it's such a popular show). Title: The Eager Surrogate Genre/Group: Cartoon > G through L > Hey Arnold! Summary: Phoebe leads Helga in an exercise to help the distraught girl finally reveal her feelings to Arnold. But maybe the shy little girl really just wants to express some hidden feelings of her own. (It's pretty short.) Warnings: COMPLETE, f/f, Minor, Oral Link: http://cartoon.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600092553 Title: Cheeky Girl Genre/Group: Cartoon > S through Z > Simpsons Summary: Springfield's most-treacherous little girl Jessica discovers Lisa's shameful bum fetish and uses it to her advantage. Will Lisa be exposed, or can one naughty cancel out another? Warnings: Bi, COMPLETE, Contro, f/f, Fet, HJ, loli, m/f/f, Minor, Oral, Other, Rim, Rom, SoloF Link: http://cartoon.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600092647 Title: Cakewalk on the Catwalk Genre/Group: Cartoon > S through Z > Strawberry Shortcake Summary: Strawberry worries about Angel Cake, who is obviously suffering but shutting her out; Meanwhile her cat (talking) Custard is growing more distant at the same time too. Is there a connection? To top it all off, Ginger Snap is on the verge of a mental breakdown. And how much is Strawberry willing to give up to help the ones she loves? Warnings: Beast, COMPLETE, D/A, f/f, Fingering, loli, Minor2, Moresome, Oneshot, Oral, Rom Link: http://cartoon.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600092837

Thank you — and so quickly too! Seriously, you're the best.

It's not a biggie, but it would have saved me a lot of trouble tonight if I'd known that the <br> tag worked in The Archive. I included a short song that needed tighter line spacing, and I had to keep re-editing its chapter trying to get it right. Eventually I tried the <br> out of desperation and was happy to see that it works. If that was added to the Allowed HTML tags for formatting your stories announcement it would probably save others some frustration as well, though all in all it's no big.

A friend and I noticed the dearth of Strawberry Shortcake fanfiction here, so let's fix it! I've just posted a sweet story about how much Strawberry Shortcake does to help her dearest friends, even when it could mean sacrificing something that's most important to her. Title: Cakewalk on the Catwalk Author: Fairy Slayer Rating: Adult Pairings: (Angel Cake + Custard) + (Strawberry Shortcake + Ginger Snap) Summary: Both Angel Cake and Custard have been acting very strangely, at first seemingly for different reasons. When their secrets come to light, however, Strawberry makes a painful choice to help her dearest friends. Feedback: Yes, pretty please with a strawberry on top! (Replies to reviews will be posted in this story's thread in the cartoon > moresome subforum.) Fandom: Strawberry Shortcake URL: http://cartoon.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600092837 Thanks sincerely, Fairy Slayer

This thread is now for my replies (and discussions maybe?) about all of my cartoon stories. (Originally it was just for the Strawberry Shortcake fanfiction Cakewalk on the Catwalk, so please excuse anything that seems out of order in the replies. Super thanks to DemonGoddess061 for consolidating all of the threads for me. ) From its "Promote a Story" thread: Title: Cakewalk on the Catwalk Author: Fairy Slayer Rating: Adult Pairings: (Angel Cake + Custard) + (Strawberry Shortcake + Ginger Snap) Summary: Both Angel Cake and Custard have been acting very strangely, at first seemingly for different reasons. When their secrets come to light, however, Strawberry makes a painful choice to help her dearest friends. Feedback: Yes, pretty please with a strawberry on top! (Replies to reviews will be posted in this story's thread in the cartoon > moresome subforum.) Fandom: Strawberry Shortcake URL: http://cartoon.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600092837

If Nick simply had to "stare" but not "stop and stare" then I'd have been in favor of the first sentence of the first example (1-1). Even as-is it still works, but the sense of simultaneous action isn't as strong. In different tenses I'd have other ideas, but I don't want to go too hog wild. The third sentence of the second example (2-3) is definitely better than its counterpart (1-2): my pedantic side attempts to keep the modifiers close to the subject or object as possible, so even though it "works" I'd want to re-write the sentence. Yet if you put the prepositional phrase of (1-2) at the start of the sentence then that would work also — except that it's probably easier on the reader if you don't use the comma-*ing twice in a row, or too much at all. So for a firm answer I'd pick the second snippet. Perhaps like semicolons, comma-*ing should be used sparingly. At the very least it made me think twice as I was polishing off my Strawberry Shortcake story (up later tonight perhaps!) and the last chapter of the Ruby Gloom tale, though that one is first-person and gets some leeway. Keep posting your thoughts (and everyone else too) and I can make your day while you make my writing better. It'll be win-win for everyone.

I get some fun ideas when I'm out walking places or sometimes even while trying to fall asleep. My mind won't let itself get bored so it does that. I keep a small notepad and pen with me at all times just in case, and if I had my own shower then it'd have a whiteboard and grease pencils. Though the best ideas come when I'm chatting with friends and joking around about stuff. My mind can run free but with someone to bounce ideas off and help me steer. I like that the best. On very rare occasions I'll get some far-out, wacky idea that could never make a story itself, yet after reining it in a lot I'm left with the core of a decent story plus a better idea of the interconnections that will bring it together neatly. (Some people gasp in horror and rant when I tell them about that method, but like I said, the crazy stuff is mostly trimmed away. Heck, I can't even remember which two or three stories started out that way.) All new ideas go into a big ol' file and sit for a while. If the idea doesn't look stupid after a month or so then I'll give the idea its own file. Few make it that far, and most of those never get beyond the note stage. Though if I run out of stuff to do then I have options. Also, at the risk of horrifying demongoddess061, another thing that I've done recently is give up on drawing. I've drawn a "passable" comic and some pictures in the past, but it's always a struggle and leaves me with a lingering anxiety. (Lots of things do, and I've cut back on them as well.) An alternative thought is that whatever has reactivated my writing enthusiasm also made me realize what I'd rather be working on instead. Or it could all simply be coincidence.

Well CloverReef, I am very grateful to you for posting this question and to everyone else for their input. I've been following the thread all along, and it made me realize how much I was "cheating" by using comma-*ing where I shouldn't have. Looking more carefully at that has made a big difference already, since I'm finishing the last chapter of one story and finally sent another (hopefully) finished story off to my partner in crime for a final review. Sure, I'll still use the comma-*ing where one action automatically causes another to happen at the same time, and it still has some uses for immediacy and even style. However, I'll be much more careful about making new clauses or sentences when I should. So for me, "He thrust his pelvis forward, sinking himself into her" may be all right, but "She whipped out her frosting bag, squirting it all over the little girl's face." will be split up to show that there are two separate actions: "She whipped out her frosting bag and sprayed it all over the little girl's face." Maybe I'm still not going to get it perfect, but I'll think twice (or more) now. I truly understand why that would turn any writer off. Still, keep trying out different betas until you find someone you can work with. I have a fantastic co-beta relationship now, where we not only proofread each other's work but also trade great notes and ideas. When she was unavailable for several months my work suffered: I couldn't find anyone reliable so I'd "ice" stories for a week or two before proofreading them myself (and then maybe icing them again, etc.), but when I look at those now I find too many mistakes. Heck, last week I finally realized that I'd used "Donna" in place of "Linda" throughout my year-old Phineas and Ferb story. (Duh-me.)

This is fantastic! This is like one of those big revelations in a soap opera, except in this case it means there's a much less chance of drama. (Yes, I noticed one specific little change already.) So hello Apollo, it's great that you're back, and judging simply based on what others are saying I know that this is great news. Better yet, I'm sure DemonGoddess61 and all of the other dedicated staff will feel much better, which in turn makes me feel better too. So thanks.