FairySlayer

After logging in this morning (which I haven't needed to do for at least a few weeks, and this time it tried to force OpenID on me), I'm occasionally getting the following message: It was happening every time I tried to post a message, though it finally let me post one (two if this one works). Sometimes it logs (kicks) me out at the same time and I need to log in again, and other times I'm still logged in and can navigate around some more. I was also able to send a private message — though the pop-up box was just a thin horizontal box until I reloaded her profile page and tried again. The computer I'm using hasn't been on since Wednesday evening and everything was working fine then. (I didn't have a chance to try the forums from home today, but it was fine last night.) Every type of automatic update is disabled on this machine: Windows, Firefox, Java, Adobe products (a toughie)...

Keep calling around until you find someone (a woman or real man) who's willing to help. Don't even mention your plans to him in case he'll try to sabotage them. No offence to the Giant Douche from the Horsehead Nebula, Station J-12, but you're brother is a total John Edward.

First, as other and especially CloverReef have written, it can be hard to find the line. When you're writing just for fun, maybe just fifteen or twenty minutes of reading (not including searching) on-line would be enough. If you were writing a short story for submission then an afternoon or two on-line and at the library to gather facts would be enough. For a full novel, then plan to be spending a few months worth of free time. As for changing the facts, we all have to do that a little bit anyway, even on top of the existing suspension of disbelief for the fandom or genre itself. As an example, Bored_Straight is looking for information about guns (Hi!) so I suggested visiting a gun club. Maybe that level of research will help the story, but there's a small chance that describing something realistically instead of how it's portrayed in pop culture could seem fake to some readers. (To quote Vinnie Barbarino, "I'm so confused!") Now, sometimes I'll spend days reading about something that interests me yet never have a chance to use in a story. (Go on, ask me about helicopter aerodynamics! Dissymmetry of lift anyone? ) There's nothing wrong with that either, unless it interferes with work or chores of course. That reminds me, I've been meaning to find out about helicopter tours because I still haven't ridden in one yet. I started to fall into that hole on Tuesday while researching for our weekly challenge. It was about Fireside Girls uniforms and ranks. There's a lot of detail on the uniforms, but I ended up having to make the ranks based on screen shots. It blew part of my day so I was up all night writing and reducing... and ended up not using or even cutting 85% of what I'd learned. D'OH!

Just a thought: If you're feeling adventurous and can spend some time and money, find and call local gun ranges: see if someone can give you a quick lesson on safety and let you fire a few rounds (hopefully from a few different weapons). At least where I live no permit is necessary if one's at a range with someone who is licensed. The last time I fired a handgun was over twenty years ago, and actually doing leaves a lifetime impression of what it feels like. If you plan to be descriptive about what firing feels like it should be a little help. I'm guessing you wouldn't use too much of that specific detail, since the feeling of shooting at a person may be more important (as one possibility), but it couldn't hurt. Even if someone offers to let you learn and shoot for free I'd still offer to pay for the ammo; bringing some donuts or whatever to say thanks is a nice touch too. Take a notepad in case she or he gives you a lot of information. One place where you can get technical specifications and maybe some reviews is the Guns & Ammo site (which I looked up just now for this reply. ) In any case, good luck.

That's fair, and it's pretty close to how EF and I work. Once a story has been sent to the other it's "frozen" to the author until it comes back. Don't even open the file, uh-uhn, no way, not gonna happen. Jot down any new thoughts about it somewhere else until it's retuned. Besides, taking a few days off helps the author see the story with fresh eyes too. Actually, once I'm absolutely certain that my story is finished and perfect I will freeze it for myself; after several days I open it to fix the hundred of mistakes I couldn't see before. (Sometimes I even have to re-freeze it!) That makes my beta's job much easier, and in return she has more time to take in the story and give me story notes. We use change-tracking to see who's done exactly what in each pass. On the rare occasion either of us rejects a change then we explaining why in an annotation. Heck, we use annotations a lot: for suggestions, questions, structural issues... plus jokes and puns too. Sometimes I'll even write a zinger — anything from a few sentences to an entire sex scene with an abominable pairing — just to get her goat. Our sense of humor is very important. Three passes is pretty hardcore and admirable. We typically can make only two. After that her stories are so embedded in my head that I miss too much. Also, she has a busy real life, so I don't get a lot of "work" right now, and I won't ask her to drop everything to check my weekly challenge responses. (I also don't have time to "freeze" those myself either. Oh well.) Since I have some extra time I wouldn't mind proofreading short to medium sized stories for others, providing we play by the same rules and I'm comfortable with the genre. I like your idea of doing an example page for an author to see if we click. (I also have plenty of examples of my hack jobs, even for my own stories!) Some authors probably would reject me because I'm a bit pedantic. And, as you can see, long-winded.

re: "A Slick Tradition," for the the Dribs, Drabs and Doggy Tales Week 5 challenge: Tradition. Thanks for chiming in on it. Most of the hazing I know of involves the higher ranks inflicting pain and humiliation on the newly promoted, so it was fun to turn it around. Also, this way makes the lower ranks more eager to advance too. Were you a Girl Scout? Yeah, I'm repeating the stereotypical notion that "so many" girls experiment with one another. I have to step back and wonder if it's really any more true of Girl Scouts than of Boy Scouts. These limited-length challenges have been great for making me pick the fluff from the important. The freeform draft was 1999 words, and it took me several passes (and nearly four hours? ) to pare off a thousand words. I had written excessive detail about the uniforms and rank emblems, probably because I researched them so much yesterday. After cutting that I forgot to mention that Milly has three emblems (canon), but I hope her status was easy to deduce anyway. If you want a small taste of the show's style then the "Squirrels in My Pants video should give you a good laugh.

Except for my current situation and that one time, it hasn't been the normal thing for me. That's why I'm standoffish about proofreading for more people. You're entirely right that it should be that way, but I guess this ties in with the discussion about authors who want only praise. Anyway, I just wanted to relate one positive (and ideal) experience, but perhaps it came out awkward. I'll work on that.

It works in posts but not on profile pages (text instead of a link). This isn't a big deal, but I just noticed that the Archive Profile field in users' profiles shows the text for the link instead of a clickable link. (I notice that it was moved from Previous Fields, I think, so maybe that's related.) Again, no big. I just wanted to make sure you knew.

Being asked to take a test or give an example wouldn't insult me. An author doesn't want to wait days or weeks just to be burned with a lousy proofreading job. I usually just look at the potential beta's writing to decide, and then what they proofread is a test by itself. There's one very gratifying experience I've had as a beta. I agreed to proofread a huge new chapter of and epic-length story. His biggest problem was using too much redundant language. Here's a made-up example, only slightly exaggerated: "Why did you do that," she asked, wanting to know his reasons. Along with typos and whatnot it seemed to need half an hour of work per page. Instead I "reduced" (mostly cut, occasionally re-worded) about a page and a half down to one. I sent it back along with an explanation that he could cut a few pages off the chapter while making it easier to read. To my surprise and delight, he took the advice and spent a few days reworking it. The new draft was much easier to proofread plus I got to enjoy the story itself in the process. It was a great (perhaps selfish) pleasure to have someone take my advice so seriously even though it was a lot of work for him.

Pen Name: Fairy Slayer Story link: A Slick Tradition Type of fic: FlashFic (only one word to spare) Rating: Adult+ Fandom: Misc Cartoons > General: Phineas and Ferb Pairing: Gretchen/Adyson+Ginger+Holly+Katie Warnings: Bond, ChallengeFic, COMPLETE, f/f+ moresome, Finger, loli, Minor2, Oral

Give Jango try. It can be a pain to make it play the songs you want it to, but if you're persistent you'll get them. Also *whistles innocently* if you clear your browser cache first and then watch the files that show up in the directory you may accidentally find that some are actually MP3s (though with weird names and no extension). I listened to a bunch of Emilie Autumn on there and somehow those files moved themselves to my music directory. Weird.

Yes, I agree: drop anyone who's abusing your kindness like that. I've suffered through the "no good deed goes unpunished" traumas before, but I'll spare everyone the gory details. This thread makes me truly appreciate my current beta partnership. We are in sync, have realistic expectations and, not least of all, enjoy each other's work too. She is as much an editor as a proofreader, and I try to be the same for her; however, if one decides not to use some corrections or notes, the other doesn't take it personally. Sure, I would beta read reasonable-length stories for others too, but I have a few rules that I make clear from the beginning. They're the ones I use myself, and they actually make things much easier for both people.

My tastes are pretty much stuck in the '80s, so if I had to pick only one of each on the spot... "Time Stand Still" by Rush "Venus" by Bananarama For #1 I can come up with quite a few. I even made a "chilling mix" CD years ago. When I'm not feeling lazy I'll make a playlist for it.

I admit that seeing a large number of reviews for a story will make me more inclined to read it, but I never read the reviews first because I hate spoilers. (I don't even want to see commercials or "in the next episode" segments for shows.) Usually I can tell within the first few paragraphs whether or not the story is worth reading (to me). Relying on my pragmatic instincts, I agree that it's easier on everyone's nerves if the author can remove reviews for whatever reason. If all spamming, trolling and downright thoughtlessness had to be reported then it would just be more of a hassle and eat up a bigger chunk of the moderators' time; in the process that would end up feeding the trolls. Now, perhaps authors would be less likely to remove critical reviews if they knew that there is a way to reply to them, even if it is a bit clunky. DemonGoddess061 has been promoting it strongly, and we should help get the word out too: My "about" section on The Archive has a link to the appropriate open (no registration required) sub-forum, and for my latest stories I pre-created threads and put the links to them at the top of each story's first chapter. (At least my appreciation and answers are out there even if no one replies to my replies to their reviews. ) Yes though, when I pour time and effort into writing (and polishing) a review it truly miffs me when it's dismissed, whether it's deleted or the critical advice is ignored. When that happens I simply don't leave reviews for that writer again (and probably won't read any more of his or her stories). On the bright side, once in a while I'll criticize some practice and then realize I'm guilty of the same thing too, so that's something. (At least telling myself that makes me feel better. ) You're my kind of guy. Honestly, sometimes I'd be happy to get comments on the level of "I read the whole thing because it managed to keep my interest. I guess I kind'a liked it." I wonder if my own wordiness intimidates folks who just want to leave simple thanks or encouragement. (Oh, and if someone already knows how analytical I can be when reviewing artwork and stories...) By the way, I'm extremely proud of two negative (yet thoughtful) reviews I've received. It definitely helps, and in many ways. Ratings (of any value) are very uplifting for me too, if anyone is interested to know.

It's there now, changed, and works just fine... except for the position change SK12 pointed out. (Hopefully just a tweak.) Thanks for jumping on this so quickly.

It gives me only the "AFF Penname" field under "Required Information" (what I assume you meant).

Pen Name: Fairy Slayer Story link: Shoe, Little Demon! Type of fic: TwitFic Rating: General Audiences Fandom: Original - Misc > Legends/Myths/Lore Pairing: N/A Warnings: Challenge, NoSex

I've wanted to do this for a long time myself but even these instructions haven't worked for me: I've had my Website URL set to http://cartoon.adult-fanfiction.org/authors.php?no=1296883627 since before the board was upgraded (and it shows up correctly on my profile page), but my AFF Author Page always links to the anime section of the archive. (Could it be related to the fact that it's listed under "Previous Fields"?) I checked under every option in "Settings" and "Profile" and can't find anything remotely similar to "Link to Your AFF Archive Profile:" (and yes, I went away from "Change Profile Information" and back again as you wrote). I even searched for the word "anime" under each option, but no luck there either. Maybe the option is only available to administrators, moderators, or some other group level. If you want, send me a screen capture of what you see and I'll send back my version.

While it's not an ideal solution, there are some helpful features in Word that will help you find the formatted text quickly so that you can tag it quickly. I use an old copy of Word. After saving the final copy of a story I make a copy with "AFFN version" or something like that in the new filename, just so I don't accidentally mess up the original. Then I use the following steps: Go to the top of the document (Ctrl-Home). Find (usually Ctrl-F). Under Find what: enter ^? FYI ^? is the code for "any character"; make sure there are no spaces or anything like that. Click on More then Format then Font... Under Font Style: choose Bold or Italic, etc. Leave everything else alone or you may have to start over. Then click OK. Then click Find Next. It will find the first character with whichever attribute you selected. You can close the Find box. (Click Cancel or press Esc.) Add the tags. (Usually I copy it to the clipboard, say </i> and paste it at the beginning and end of the italicized section, being sure to remove the / from the first one. That's just what's fastest for me.) Use Ctrl-PageUp and Ctrl-PageDown to jump to the next or previous instance of that formatting. After doing all of the italics, go back to the top and go through the same steps to find all of the bold text. At least in my version, searching for either bold or italic will find bold-italic. Then I usually just copy-paste into the text area of The Archive's story editor. You can also save-as text and rename the file to .htm to use the file uploader. That feature is a lifesaver for me, and doubly so since I make full use of styles too. I hope you find it helpful as well.

Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week. I hope the coffee didn't get on or into anything important. And yes, I've thought about the "technical breakdown" of a sex scene before. I don't intend to write one, since I have plenty of ideas which are actually arousing or at least (hopefully) thoughtful stories. Oh, I'm not at all against (or capable of not) using adjective and adverbs, and I agree that we'll always need to rely on them in the basic storytelling (along with the "behind the scenes" reasons you mention). In writing we don't have the luxury of a sensory experiences.* Even the physical cues themselves usually need to be described with adjectives and adverbs to make any sense. ("She shivered while pulling her coat more tightly around herself.") Heck, there's still wiggle room for bias in even that. *I could go off on another sensory tangent here, but it's more of a screenwriting topic. Well, sometimes giving a glimpse of what was on another character's mind was a must, even if the so-called highest-priority character (Strawberry Shortcake, FYI) was around. (I wouldn't write a partial geometric analysis of Custard's face to show that she was ashamed even as a joke. XD) In those cases I was happy to stick with the short and sweet adjectives. If it matters to the discussion, I used verbal thoughts only twice, and only when the character was alone in the scene. (Okay, I slipped in some muttering and exclamations too.) I think most of the characters present would have similar instinctive reactions immediately upon first seeing the body — that could open up a purely philosophical debate about whether those initial feelings are a "bias" of sorts, but that's way too heavy for me to get into. Your point about how each person would process the information after the initial shock is absolutely right. I say "most of the characters" because you forgot the struggling undertaker who yelled, "Yes!" and the zombie who moaned, "DIBS ON BRAAAAIN!"

It's all a matter of degrees. If the narrator didn't have at least a teensy bit of bias then the story runs the risk of becoming a technical paper. The standard Colonial styled dwelling was centered among a miscellaneously arranged grouping of pinus strobus P. lambertiana, pinue strobus P. wallichiana, et cetera, with an average density of .092 trees per square foot (trunk area at ground level) and an apparent standard deviation of 473% within the viewing area of the dwelling. The homo sapiens identified as 'Adrien' detected the presence of the aforementioned trees, which greatly reduced the number of photons reaching his fovea; he did so while simultaneously approaching said dwelling via use of an unspecified type of motorcar. The meteorological conditions were unfavorable due to the presence of nimbostratus clouds, and air vortices were applying between twenty and eighty pounds per square foot of force against different parts of his vehicle at random intervals. Now imagine a sex scene described completely with angles, lengths/depths, volumes, etc. To be serious though, I much prefer Shadowknight12's first example because it conveys the mood well without the overkill of the second, though I understand that was exaggerated to make your point clear. However, you could sneak in bias by providing "evidence" for each of the feelings mentioned in the second. (See On Writing by Stephen King for a terrific explanation.) Actually, I try hard to incorporate descriptions of physical cues and other actions instead of just using adjectives in my writing. (I first recognized it in a Sailor Moon fanfic about a decade ago.) It lets you express the feelings and perhaps even the thoughts of the characters without jumping straight into any character's mind. (This strays in to the realm of "direction" and visual media, but hopefully it's still on-topic.) Of course, there is still selective bias based on what you choose to show or have said. (Think news, political shows and ads, etc. for the most egregious examples.) Having just finished my first first-person story — a fairly naive person — using the observable was extremely important, though I had plenty of play room using the character's thoughts to fill in many blanks. In another recent story I probably used more bias with TPO, mostly through character's thoughts. I tried to stick to a hierarchy of whose mind to invade depending on who was in the scene, yet even then I relied on observations to support those thoughts. Then again, every character absolutely has her own bias as well, which is why I eschew jumping POVs. But that's just the what I've been trying to get better. It doesn't necessarily tell a story any better than any other.

re: "The Dark Side of the Bright Side" First off, your comments make perfect sense, and I truly appreciate you taking the time to reply even though you didn't like the general content itself. (And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. ) You made me realize that the story desperately needed the Alternate Universe / Alternate Reality (AU/AR) tag, which I've added. That was a major oversight on my part, and I hope not many people were annoyed to start reading before finding that out. Though I tried to maintain most of the basic characters' attitudes, Skullboy was extremely OOC. (Personally, too, I think he's a lovable and zany character in the show itself, and I think the way he's always searching for his identity is something that most of us can relate to on some level. I was happy that in "Hair-less: The Musical" he finally realized that he indeed was part of a family already.) Man, I've been trying to find the books and get a better glimpse of the pre-television personalities. I've found references for when she was "only" a marketing character, all alone in the big mansion but still finding things to make herself happy. My library system has one or two of the books, but I'd be too embarrassed to request them. (Too bad they're no longer in print or stock, as far as I can find.) In any case, and more importantly, I'm very grateful that you read it anyway to give me feedback on the content along with your opinion of my writing. Thanks.

re: "Cakewalk on the Catwalk" (Instead of quoting I'll just link to the reviews posted on The Archive for this story.) cowgirl65: Thanks. I watched quite a few episodes, uhm, for research purposes (that's the ticket!) and did my best to keep them close to character. I'm glad it you found that it worked as a Strawberry Shortcake story along with the sexual and even unusual elements. What strikes me about the show is that the girls are so independent and self sufficient even though they definitely behave like the children they are. So two little changes — the older girls being sexually self-aware with Ginger on the cusp, and Custard's love for Strawberry escalating — made everything snap into place. ("It was a snap!") Most of the time the story seemed to flow on its own, which is why I didn't hesitate to put the other story aside for a few weeks. For how clean the published story is, I'm grateful to Evil Fairy for finding typos, errors and just about any other problems. Thanks for commenting. Oh, and I definitely will keep writing. Heck, there's one dark story that's been neglected for about a year now and some happier tales after that. Evil Fairy: Commander Data informs me that you've unleashed a dangerous level of egoton particles on me with your insightful breakdown of the story. I'm berry grateful for that, especially on top of all the valuable corrections, notes and, most of all, the guidance. (...and even after the cruel zinger I put in the first proofing copy.... ) With the conveniently-timed misunderstandings and silly opening it was supposed to play out like a sitcom, but I guess it drifted into cutesy anime territory: a darkness of uneasiness lingers behind the silly foreground antics but then takes over in the penultimate episode. (Would Koge Donbo be proud?) Now that you mention it, I can see how Strawberry's empathy could occasionally give her a hard dose of angst in a world where conflict is inevitable. At least with an industrious optimist like Strawberry Shortcake you just know things will somehow turn out sweet. I'm glad the exaggerations of Ginger Snap and even Peppermint Fizz didn't make them one-dimensional, which was a huge worry. At first Peppermint Fizz was going to show up only at the picnic; I had nothing else in mind when I wrote that she didn't seem to be good at anything. Then it clicked: Custard's visit to Ginger Snap's melded with Peppermint's to later set Ginger into action — and eventually heap more heartbreak onto poor Strawberry. The bath scene went slow mostly for my sake: it was oh so nice to imagine the tension and thrill of slowly revealing every bit of the lovely girl who obediently complied, for want of comfort. Candlelight made every glimpse more detailed and much more precious. I wanted that feeling, that hunger to be real for the reader (though hopefully not OOC). It wasn't on my mind at the time, but perhaps the careful, attentive way Strawberry undressed her friend could have helped Ginger give control to Strawberry, a little at a time, until she was ready to turn herself over completely. (It's just an afterthought, so maybe I'm just being all pretentious 'n stuff. ) Hmm, my last two paragraphs have something in common: I unwittingly projected a lot more onto Strawberry than I thought. In the bath scene it was deliberate; but your insight about the her need to see everyone happy is something that I've struggled with for most of my life. Heck yeah, Custard's strong personality was essential, and it was a happy bonus that her stuffy attitude hints at some sort of repression. If not for the former it would have been impossible for me to write the four-way. Actually, I almost dropped the story idea right away until I saw the "I Love Custard" video. That made me realize the powerful love Custard Strawberry's shared... and confirmed that Custard is a girl. (Oh yeah, the oddly-suggestive bits of that video helped too. I'm telling you, folks, it's right on the edge.) You're also spot-on about why Angel Cake was cast as the misfortunate one. She's certainly they type to cover up anything "wrong" while blaming herself. Then when two desperate and hurt people, er, person and cat, find each other in so vulnerable... She's also good for the occasional temper tantrum, though I didn't want to play it up when she had to break Strawberry out of her angry ranting. So, again, thanks for everything, not least of all for “I'm Custard… Vroom!” (which will probably be my epitaph). P.S. Strawberry's "Special Remembering Book" would make a great Round-Robin if there were enough fans here to write the entries.