FairySlayer

re: "Candy, Little Girl" I know, I feel pretty awful about it myself. A few weeks ago I decided to put aside my most-recent fascination and move on, and this was the first story that came to mind. Maybe once I straighten out a few things I can get back on it. Let's hope! UPDATE: Yes, I feel even awfuller as I update this consolidated thread now...

re: "It's the Wrought That Counts" Thanks. It was one of the most fun challenge stories to write, especially since I'd seen only a few episodes and didn't have to worry quite so much about keeping them in character. Luckily I didn't need to expand on them either, so that was good. The ponies are almost too easy to work with, but I guess that's why there are floods of new people drawing and writing for them. And of course she'd pick out books that they'd actually like.

re: 'Letters from "Derpy"' Thanks. This was just one thought someone had mentioned in the early days and it seemed like a good idea to explore. Then, why not get all of the misfits in on the action? It was also fun to keep each section short and to the point (usually). As for writing "like this" I think that's probably not a bad idea: clean and pithy. The series is more fun that way.

re: "Diamond Takes it Rough" Good point about Scootaloo doing more for herself and her hatred of DT once she started. Scootaloo probably welcomed the excuse. As for the reading... Well, it's hard to know what to think. It's flattering that you'd give up twenty-eight minutes of your life to do that, but at the same time it did seriously point out the flaws here and there. I jumped around because, uh, 28 minutes? Damn, even with the extra stuff that's way too long for a short story. I need to write less. (Take that any way you want.) When I try to explain to folks that lemons are ridiculous, ribaldry, they don't get it. Fortunately your video makes the point much more effectively. Also, if I did sit through the whole thing and cringe at my own writing, plus your commentary, I'd probably be better for it. Just not yet. As for the "judging" go right ahead: I've done much worse. Much much worse. Now, regarding your work: I'd actually expected more of a dramatic reading, with a snooty accent and all, or some serious riffing. If clip-on mics are out of the question (or budget) then work on range a bit because I missed a lot as you two leaned back or moved away. With a little planning I bet you could have much more fun with this form of critique. I probably would have had an easier time sitting through it, even after you got to "prancing," plus "clitoral hood" was pretty awful. (What was I thinking!)

re: "Fall Weather Friends - Alternate Alternate Ending" Thanks for letting me know how much you liked it, and more so that there was enough Trollestia there to make it work. I have to admit that the pony-kebab line was my favorite joke in the whole story, so it's great to know that at least one other person got a laugh from it.

I wrote a story where a former politician, who is never mentioned by name, has a sexual encounter with a pony from Friendship is Magic. (For what it's worth, it's consensual.) At the end his wife, referred to only as "Madame Secretary," turns out to have a stallion-friend of her own, but there's no love scene. The events take place in the human world. Which category does it belong in? Celeb > Celebrities-Misc > Crossovers Cartoon > -Misc-Cartoons > Crossovers Some other section Nowhere on The Archive at all! If you must place blame, then blame National Public Radio.

re: "Candy, Little Girl" Thanks for the kind words, especially writing when you did. I'm glad you like it and especially happy you think it's within the show's style (if I read your comments right). The urge to finally finish this one is strong, even after well over a year idling. Most of it is planned out, but it's like I was working from two ends, with 8 and 9 looking very strong, but I found a bad wrinkle in part 7 as I was writing it and felt I couldn't make it work. Considering how "well" my stories of late have been doing perhaps I should go back to my roots and have one less abandoned story on my hands. Doofenshmirtz will ... well, get what he deserves, whatever that means. Heh heh heh.

re: "Fall Weather Friends - Alternate Alternate Ending" (reviews), an expansion of a joke piece I made after the episode "Fall Weather Friends" aired. Did this turn into A Joke Too Far? At the very least I'm glad you found it hot, though sorry that mean Celestia spoiled it for you. It was all supposed to be a bit tongue-in-cheek. I'm not very much into the Trollestia thing myself, but it was worth a shot. (One thing I can hardly stand is Evil Celestia, or "Cevilestia"? to some. That's almost too much for me.) At the very least I'm glad you read it all plus took time to tell me what didn't work. I'm starting to think I should have left this alone, but I felt I had to try. In the end I probably rushed it, but I spent a lot of time proofreading it, letting it sit, etc. and advertised for someone else to pre-read. When I look back in a few weeks I'll probably see some of what you're talking about with the redundant stuff. (I can already guess on is mentioning that Rainbow Dash was scared after saying how she kneeled to the ground and whimpered, right?) I usually put little references to other stories in new ones, but I suppose it was just a bit over the top even if Celestia had an incest fetish. Maybe I'll changed that paragraph near the end to pull out the "Freyja" part and just leave it with her being sweet to RD and short with Applejack. (But was even that funny?) Thanks too for doing the math in my favor. Aww, shucks! I'm really glad you enjoyed it. Not that I can't appreciate the criticisms, but this is pretty sweet to see.

re: "Petting Doom" First off, sorry for the delay. Stuff, y' know. In the beginning I used "screenplay format" quite a bit, but given the option I prefer straight prose (or actually, lesbian and even slash prose just as much). In this case I pretty much stepped into it and probably made it a bit description-heavy... but how much dialogue do you really need in a silly lemon? (Besides, it's much easier to be sexy than it is to be funny.) Keeping the characters as kids is easier for me because there's too much temptation to change their character if they're older. This way I have to think and speak in-character for them, maintaining the style as you mentioned. Aaaaaaaand, it also happens to be the most fun kind of story to write. Yeah, GIR is so random, but that's actually a great thing when it comes to callbacks. The show (and the story) would never have worked without him.

That only really makes me want to read it, even though I know nothing about Firefly.

re: "Diamond Takes it Rough" (reviews) Rest assured that there will be plenty of other stories not involving Scootaloo. Thanks for jumping in with some good news about the story. I think some of the others still liked it overall except for the "deal-breakers." All non-flaming feedback is helpful, but your praise is definitely appreciated. I know you're right and I'll be freaking out over all of the mistakes when I have a chance to do corrections. I'm really missing my "beta" these days, and to be honest I was anxious to post anything since the well of clopfics had been drying up. (I get tired of updating only the "last checked" date on ClopsSort every day.) Knowing that it was good enough to overcome one aspect you usually don't like is a huge compliment. A few others have had issues with stuff (the mention of Big Mac, along with Scootaloo!?) but still enjoyed it enough (I'm guessing) to comment. Okay, I'm starting to see a pattern here. Scootaloo is my least favorite of the three also, but she's the most aggressive and impulsive of the bunch. (Scootaloo's ranking may change depending on how they develop Sweetie Belle, if ever.) Apple Bloom could have made a good attacker too, and perhaps better suited when it comes to the guilt angle. In this case it felt like making her cry was a big enough deal to demand punishment from a friend. Heh, now I'm trying to imagine Sweetie Belle sexually assaulting someone... Or would you rather see Scootaloo punished now? Perhaps by someone who's generally good but knows the orange filly requires a firm hoof (etc.) in this case?

re: "Confound Those Cutie Marks" I'm glad you enjoyed it so much, though again credit also goes to TwilightFlopple and Buttersc0tchSundae for the esoteric touches. The instant I read your comment a decent Celestia/Luna ("Celuna"?) idea came to mind, though I have a list to get through first.

re: "Confound Those Cutie Marks" The next couple of stories won't have much Twilight action, but hopefully I can slip a little bit in somehow. I'm sure she'll find some hard-to-reach books that initially shock, then fascinate. Thanks for letting me know how much you enjoyed it, and every comment helps me stay on the right track. Long comments are fine with me, whether glowing or criticizing. (The former is craved; the latter important.) Maybe you're right about the blank flanks being frustrated because they know they're so close to new and exciting pleasures. Now, do you think Rarity would start teaching her sister about the slow and steady art of seduction too? Could be fun... Perhaps as naughty as reading these stories in public. (If I couldn't sit with my back to a wall I'd keep a window ready with, "STOP LOOKING OVER MY SHOULDER!") Perhaps I should have looked closer at Carousel Boutique, though Rarity and Twilight were meant to be in the main showroom. I guessed that a staircase would come down right into the shop, or maybe around a corner at the most. An earlier version described showroom curtains being drawn, to avoid distractions if anypony happened to be out that late; also I'd meant to mention that Twilight was staring at Rarity's other wares while looking straight ahead. So my bad on not making the venue clear. At some point I'll make sure each of the Cutie Mark Crusaders gets to have some fun. What's a good inconspicuous cutie mark for rough sex? And I go with RareLight even though the pairing is far from rare. IIRC, the very first pony kissing picture was those two.

re: "Confound Those Cutie Marks" (reviews). “Join the Herd... Don't be afraid...” (... or just YouTube...) The story came about after discussions on deviantART about cutie marks and tails possibly being erogenous zones. Again, I could have been a bit clearer with the tags. By the way, does "horning" count as toys? Even without the special trick? I'm glad you enjoyed the bits of seduction along with the licky action. It's not often that one pony gets to undress another, and it makes a good excuse to get close. Rarity couldn't go too fast, but most of the readers would have been annoyed if she hadn't gotten Twilight worked up quickly enough. In the series Rarity often comes across as mature than the others (and is a successful business owner), giving her the upper hoof. Speaking of hooves, the "real" kind will probably show up in future stories, but I've gotten myself into a pickle by letting others choose which story I write next. (My lemon came in last place. ) Oh well, time to get to my Lamaze class...

Oops! That was a bit cheeky of me because they don't really have fingers. Technically they have toes, but in this context it's definitely not foot-play. (In the series they can sometimes grip things with their fore hooves too but like to use their mouths too. Make of that what you will.) I don't want you to be disappointed because there isn't any fisting involved. If you have other reasons, well... =p But DUH-ME, despite just having finished my last pass, I completely forgot about one other tidbit that's hard to categorize:

Title: Confound Those Cutie Marks Author: Fairy Slayer Rating: Adult Pairings: Twilight Sparkle/Rarity; Sweetie Belle (solo) Summary: Twilight helps Rarity during a late-night design session, but Rarity's designs are actually set on Twilight herself. Tags: COMPLETE: oneshot, challenge, f/f, oral, fingering (hoofing); minor2, solo, voyeurism Feedback: Yell it out until your voice is horse hoarse! (My replies will be in Cartoons > Femslash subforum.) Fandom: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic URL: http://cartoon.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600093116

re: "My Absolute Mostest Horriblest Day EVER!," as told by Pinkie Pie If you say it works without the description then that's good enough for me. Until about a minute ago I thought I'd have worded it differently, but now I realize that that could have been a spoiler for what he was actually doing. (Premature exposition!) Heh, no wonder Robin had to change his name to Nightwing. Even Superfriends got edgier in its final episodes, though Justice League (...Unlimited) goes way beyond. Wow! Thanks for the detailed feedback, and thoughtful it is (and definitely not "weak"). You really paid attention to the story, which is always nice to know. I wasn't sure about the idea, even up until posting it because I didn't know if the contrast between the horror and Pinkie Pie's excitable personality would work. If either aspect was much stronger then it would either sound like a poorly written grimdark or a bad impression of Pinkie Pie. Anyway, I'm happy that you found it funny overall, though if you'd care to I'd love to hear your thoughts on Pinkie Pie killing Princess Luna and the shift to a more somber tone. If found it very hard to write Pinkie being that thoughtful (then add less-excitable!) while still making her sound like Pinkie Pie. (Well, once I realized I'd changed the mood almost too drastically.) Strangely though, I like her ending wisdom and don't think it was a stretch; she often comes up with the right answers in the show, though I expect that may garner criticism. (Not that there's anything wrong with that!) Yeah, her wording could have had more random observations and tangents, though my big worry was overdoing it. Even with just the asides in there now had me concerned. I'm sure when I re-read it in a few months I'll see lots of missed opportunities. (Also my "beta" was eaten by a Real Life before she could give me any feedback, and that leaves anything I write 162/3% less cool. ) I'm pretty new to first-person, but the greatest thing and worst vulnerability is that point-of-view must stick in once place. (There are "mixed" stories too, but as of now I doubt I could do it well.) That's why there wasn't much about Rarity, except a short reminder with the bow/curtain. Her presence made many things easier, though I could cop to a bit of deus ex machina when she showed up after the battle. Also, I was iffy on using that much of Luna's dialogue as opposed to indirect quotes to keep Pinkie's mood forefront, but there are things she wouldn't say or understand which needed clarity. (Though it was nice to do the "blah blah blah" thing.) My next pony lemon is going to be more explicit and juicy, though it's very "shade of gray" in mood. It's also to make up with something that didn't work out in one of my previous lemons. Again, thanks both of you.

re: "Petting Doom" (reviews). When it first went up on WWOEC there were quite a few positive comments. (The story is probably still there but I bet the comments have been pruned in the years since. I may have a copy somewhere...) So the story did get plenty of love, and with any luck it will get some more now that it's here for good. The story turned out to be a lot of fun to write and was one of the few stories that seemed to "flow out of my fingers" along the way. Apart from a few of the challenge pieces there have been only two others that were wonderfully fun to write. ("Payback's a Pussy" and "Cakewalk on the Catwalk.") In this case I'd hoped to re-write it in pure prose style at some point because "screenplay format" seems icky to me now. It's just that I won't have time and Tommy Simms was aghast at the thought anyway, so when gouldkiller asked me to get it back on-line I didn't hesitate. There probably won't be a sequel unless there's a resurgence of IZ... or if I fall into a decent crowd where the series is still hot. My motivation tends to go with who I'm interacting with the most at any time. (Right now that's pretty much a full-stop but that won't last long.) Thanks most of all for enjoying it to its fullest. There was a lot packed in there and it's nice to know that you got to taste every bit.

These are my long overdue replies to reviews for "End-ora" (story) - (reviews) from when I was much better about following stuff here. It was written for the weekly prompt Witch. I just hope your grandmother never turned your father into animals too. It was a pretty great show for the time and it's still a lot of fun to get the slice-of-life that comes from how people were back then. "I'll have a drink... I better make it a double.... Okay, a triple." Yeah, it's nice to see him actually win for once. He was always pretty brave with his mother-in-law anyway so taking that big chance at the end wasn't too OOC... I hope. It's something that had been on my mind for years. I guess listening to so much Dr. Laura a long time ago plus my ideal of eventually having kids made me realize that it's important to make things work with some people. After all these years it was time for a good bit of closure for the series. Basically this would end the main driving conflict and get the show canceled, sure, but not a bad note to end on. I left FFnet a long time ago, not least of all because most of my stories aren't acceptable. er, acceptable there. However this was part of a weekly challenge Thanks to all for chiming in, and again I really should have written replies sooner rather than just saying stuff privately or in the Procrastination Station.

re: "My Absolute Mostest Horriblest Day EVER!," as told by Pinkie Pie (reviews) Fine red haze eek! I'm glad you read it despite my thinly veiled attempt to attract readers with your name. Actually, if not for that I wouldn't have promoted it at all because I've been a pretty bad citizen in the DD&DT department.* The codes are definitely required but probably turn away many readers who could handle the small amount of each; meanwhile, I worry that readers who were looking forward to much more horror and pain would be sorely disappointed. Yes, I was shocked to see how grim the original special was: a demon lord, evil pony-napping monsters, conversions by hellfire and, most horrific of all, singing! It's a weird combination but then again it was the drug-fueled '80s. Hopefully no ponies are about to go all Charlie Sheen/Lindsay Lohan now. Pinkie Pie is very bouncy and wacky, though her personality and "abilities" are based on Looney Tunes characters, not coke. I'm glad that one line of extreme anger stood out as intended. For that moment it seemed to work, and I didn't realize until weeks later (after waiting for proofreading) that it marked a change in her mood from zany and clueless to angst-ridden, even remorseful; her earlier line about lasting depression later on seemed to fit better too. Perhaps I should have dropped a few extra words to explain Spike's "sending fire": I was so super mad that she couldn't reach, but then the bridle burnt up off Twilight's face like when he's sending scrolls to Celestia! Then the magical smoke travels to the tip of Celestia's horn and rematerializes. (Return messages are burped up as flames that materialize into scrolls or other things. They haven't shown Celestia's sending process yet that would be like the episode of "Batman" where they showed him going up the Batpole.) The "We've been had!" idea comes up sometimes, but Nightmare Moon (basically Princess Luna's evil, Super-Saiyan form) proves the mythology in the premiere. Then again, maybe she just blocked out the sun like Monty Burns did. Thanks for checking it out and leaving your thoughts. * I'll withhold the excuses.

Finally I've written an actual adult and somewhat violent (perhaps 0.6 JayDees) pony story. Title: My Absolute Mostest Horriblest Day EVER! Author: Fairy Slayer Rating: Adult++ Pairings: n/a Summary: Pinkie Pie tells the story of the most horrific and tragic day ever in the history of Equestria. Tags: COMPLETE, Bondage, Main Character Death, Humiliation, Rape, Torture, Violence Feedback: Hell yeah! (My replies will be in the Cartoons > General subforum.) Fandom: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic URL: http://cartoon.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600093036 It's probably (pfft!) not for everyone, but what the hay. Fairy Slayer

I've been using the new challenge button quite a bit lately. It's gotten so bad that we actually need to create quantum computers to decipher these for us. Wait, wouldn't that defeat the purpose? Then again, sometimes it likes to add its own commentary to whatever we're doing. This is the one it gave me when I uploaded "Payback's a Pussy" — and I was darned proud.

Now Blackadder erotica would be brilliant, but the tough part is making it both sexy and hilarious at the same time. No matter which of the series someone writes it for... poor Baldric.

Ahem, have you seen the horrific stuff that I write? You don't know me at all! Plot or not, your pieces are good stories in themselves, and even with the game terms or folklore or whatever you always make sure that story is easy to follow anyway. Oh, I still have to post that hardcore Simpsons story for you. I keep forgetting that with the RTE it'll take only minutes now. Another light horror story is on the horizon too. (Actually, it's been waiting for over a month, but I finally found a substitute proofreader.) BTW, my recent reluctant return to 4chan has ended, thankfully!

Okay, I had to see if this was at all consistent. I always beat myself up for my stories feeling like they're written in the same voice. (Dumbass narrator!) I'm shocked at so many names being returned (out of thirteen stories): J. R. R. Tolkien , Ian Fleming, and Annie Rice showed up multiple times, but I also got Kurt Vonnegut (for a major sex scene? ), Raymond Chandler, James Fenimore Cooper, Dan Brown (for a bunny story), and Cory Doctorow (a "famous" blogger?). For the poem that I love so much *sniffle* "David Foster Wallace" was a severely disappointing result. At least my 1st person stories had some good names: Letters from "Derpy": J. R. R. Tolkien (Somewhat fitting for a talking pegasus) The Dark Side of the Bright Side: Gertrude Stein (Wow, Ruby is a great writer!) My Absolute Mostest Horriblest Day Ever: Margaret Atwood (oddly fitting)