Haywire_Hakaze

Hello, all. I'm looking for a collaborator to help write a story that's, in short one long hurt/comfort and slice-of-life piece, a slow-burning romance that explores trauma and the healing process, and how the support of someone you love and trust can be everything to a person. I originally started this story with a dear friend of mine, and though I like where it was heading a fair bit of the subject matter became uncomfortable for her and she gave me the go-ahead to restart it if I so chose. The pitch: The male character (co-author's choice in name, though something bland like Terry or Samuel or something is preferred) is early-middle-aged, with a comfortable job but a strained relationship with his ex-wife. She left him for another man while he was in jail for a white collar crime, and it's a source of contention between them. At least he has a shared-custody agreement for his young daughter, who is the angel of his little world. One night he happens upon what he thinks is a burglar or stalker in his neighborhood, but when he confronts the person he finds it to be a young, malnourished and terrified nude woman. With gentle coaxing he gets her out of the cold and, though she seems to be mute, he learns several key things that set him on edge because of his own past traumas, and he decides to do everything he can for the woman. The subject matter: The relationship developing in this story will be a sexual one eventually, but it's something that has to really be worked up to. Their relationship is exactly that. A relationship built of trust and care and mutual need for each other's company. That isn't to say, however, that things of a sexual nature will not be covered. The story itself covers these bases, and so any collaborator should be willing to help write about the following subjects: (Trigger Warning) Trauma: Paedophilia/incest, habitual abuse and conditioning, alcoholism, prison rape, suicide Present day: Anxiety/Panic attacks, Agoraphobia, Clautrophobia, Dependency, Nightmares/Night terrors, sexual uncertainty, shame, self-loathing, hurt/comfort, WAFF My past stories are found here: http://members.adult-fanfiction.org/profile.php?no=1296872749&view=story The original version of this story had twenty-one chapters by the time we came to a stop, and it was perhaps just shy of the half-way mark. I still have it all, and I don't mind sharing the first couple chapters with interested parties on Google Docs.

Just posting in here since Rose and I haven't posted the sequel to Damaged yet. I know, I know! We can't stop! XD We've got a side-story in production involving Emily and Perry, and we should start posting that in a few more chapters since it happens around the same time as some of the events in Damaged. Then we're working on the sequel since we're already done with Damaged, even if I haven't had time to get the rest of the chapter posted. (New one this weekend! I'll do my best! D: ) And finally, there's a side-story to THE SEQUEL. Plus, of course, Mockingbird. Guh, so much on our plates. XD Anyway, I was going through our archive to check something out, and I found this conversation between me and Rose. I wanted to put it here for posterity, even though it won't make complete sense until you get to chapter 5 of the sequel to Damaged. Wir: Lol, I think Johnny totally missed the point. Jazz: Probably. The point is that yesh, Riley doesn't mind the scars being touched, but he's completely misunderstanding the way Johnny sees them. Wir: Riley pretty much said that he loves when Johnny touches his scars, to the point that it sends him into 'pleasure overload' because he can feel how much Johnny loves him and it makes him weak-kneed. It has nothing to do with Johnny's opinion of the scars. Wir: His opinion matters when looking at them, yes. Touching them, no. Wir: XD Jazz: Exactly, but Johnny likes to see them and his opinion on them isn't the one that Riley seems to have it in his head that it is. Yeah, they remind him of bad times, and sometimes he feels a little guilty, but as he said himself, it's a part of Riley. Wir: And seeing Joe's name like a permanent brand or claim wouldn't bother him? Really? Jazz: It does bother him sometimes and yesh, it was definitely not a fun experience for either of them, but if that particular event hadn't happened, they wouldn't be where they are now. In a weird way, the bad things brought them together. Seeing Riley go through that and survive intact gave Johnny enough strength to make the decisions he needed to make. Yesh, they're a reminder of a particularly horrible event, but it was that horrible event that brought them together again. Wir: So seeing the scars is kinda bittersweet. He doesn't like how he got them, but they're a reminder of how precious Riley is. Jazz: Exactly. It's also a reminder of how close he came to losing Riley and it kinda makes him all gushy and want to make every moment precious. Wir: awwwww Wir: I think Johnny needs to kiss and touch Riley's back while he's sleeping. Wake him up that way. Riley'd get all mushy and cuddly. Jazz: Mmm maybe. I can see it happening.

I dunno why, but I've always seen a pairing with these two. They're just too adorable not to pair them together. I mean, I know it's supposed to be one of those really close friendships, but hey. And I'm not limiting my horizons to just Satoshi and young Yukinari. I'd even be willing to read Satoshi and the Professor. =) Anyone know of any?

I'm kind of a mixed bag though for the purposes of the poll I voted "Subbed". In general I prefer the subbed version because it seems to me the seiyuu (or Voice Actors, VA, whatever you want to call them) put more passion into the scenes. Watch an anime character in pain and agony, whether physical or emotional, in Japanese. Then watch it in English. You'll see what I mean. And this goes for things I've seen in dub first. I watched Fullmetal Alchemist in English, then bought the DVDs and watched it in Japanese. The scene where made me cry like a baby in the subs, but only made me a little sad in the dubbed version. It's no fault of Funimation, either. The dubs were PHENOMENAL. And, like i said, I saw the dubs first. They just didn't have the same impact. And then there are some dubs that are just ATROCIOUS,-- or, at the very least, they're grating when compared to the original voices because none of the new voices fit the characters. For me, a good example is Ouran High School Host Club. I saw the subbed version before the dub, and I don't think Funimation did such a great job with the casting. That's not to say it isn't watchable. After an episode or two, I quickly got used to the voices and enjoyed the show (although I still hate that they dubbed the theme songs and i still can't listen to them that way. It hurt my ears). Then again, sometimes it's great that the dub sucks. Or for me, it is. But then, that's mainly out of nostalgia. Two words: SAILOR MOON. the dub was horrible and there was so much "editing for content" that it was sad. But I grew up on that edited version, so it's nice to watch it and bathe in the campy goodness. Sure, it was still slightly campy in the subbed version, but the subbed version was still better. I enjoy both subbed and dubbed, in that particular case. My husband's point of view about "Sub v. Dub" is much more clear-cut than mine. He 100% supports dub because he'd rather focus his gaze on the art and the story than have to divide his attention and read to find out what's going on, when he could miss something that way. Eh, what can I say? Some men just can't multitask.

*squeak!* Yay! 8D Oh, and I went looking for Kyouya's Attention but I didn't find it. I'll try again.

There are quite a few good ones out there, and I'll definitely have to check yours out. =) However, it seems to me that a lot of people are re-using the same thin plot-lines. Honey as the bottom, Hitachiincest, and 'the Twins try corrupting Haruhi' are a few. I want something new! Something to sink my teeth into! I'd freak-- in a good way-- if I found some Kyouya/Kaoru with Kaoru as the pitcher. Same for Mori and Honey. I want some role-reversal! Oh, but what I'm seriously craving at the moment? Kasanoda Ritsu / Sendou Tetsuya ! Need some mob lovin', and I don't care how I get it! (Though I will admit I love having the man usually paired as the "uke" on top. Yum.)

Since the Ouran category isn't broken into subcategories by couple, anyone know if there are any Honey/Mori fics out there with Mori as the bottom in the relationship? I get that Honey's small and cute so people tend to make him the bottom, but it gets boring. Kinda like Kaoru always being the bottom just because Hikaru joked about not liking people thinking Kaoru was "the pitcher" in the episode Renge appeared. Heheh...

http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600099204 Just a disclaimer and a note saying it's on her website. http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600099511 Same as above http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600100382 Same http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600099021 Same, and chapter 2 as well This author has a habit of posting stories then taking them down after she publishes them on her own website, but not actually taking the story down so she can advertise. It's quite misleading.

I had a lovely review from someone named Lauren on my fic "A Demon's Lust, A Monk's Desire" saying she loved my writing style and wished to help me write "Night At The Twisted Dragon". If you are still interested, Lauren, I would love to give it a try. In the end, I wasn't satisfied with the direction the story had been going and since it stagnated-- meaning I couldn't find any new partners-- I took it off. Send me a reply here, or a PM, and we'll work something out. =)

You can also try Pumpkinhat Writing Studios if you like. It's a new forum so there's not much there yet, but it's got a great setup and we're always looking for new members. It's run by an author on AFF who had the same concerns as you, so feel free to go nuts. To quote the forum owner: "This is a writing community. We are all here to have a good time and better our skills in this area of expertise. You don't have to be an aspiring professional or anything, but you do need to enjoy writing and RP. Also, I am placing no limitations whatsoever on content. That is why this site requires you to be age 18 or older. I firmly believe that creativity should never be hindered and that anything you wish to write is fair game to do so. As long as it is helping you as a writer, then I'm all for it." Hope that helps. =)

<br /><br /><br />You can read and review any story that catches your interest, out of the ones listed. =) It doesn't have to be one that I prefer. If something catches your eye, check it out. XD then, once you've reviewed something, post your stories here and someone else will do the same for you.

Haha, guilty... But I haven't really read the books (yet; I'm fair, so I'll give them a chance eventually) so either way it's out for me. I went ahead and read/reviewed "Silk". =D I have four stories up for review, though I'd prefer if someone would read either Shut Up and Drive or its sequel Damaged. Then again, No Strings Attached could use some love, too, and I'd actually recommend it for someone who prefers het. Of course, you have to know a bit about Dungeons and Dragons (or simply type "lillend" into google search foran image of one, lol). Title: Shut Up and Drive Genre/Group: Original Fiction > Drama > Slash - Male/Male Summary: Jonathan Integra had it all. Looks, money, women falling at his feet. To top it all off, he owned a talking car. Jonathan did not know, however, that within the car was a secret. one that would change him forever. Warnings: Anal, Angst, Bi, Bond, H/C, HJ, Lang, Nonc, M/M, M/F, S/M, WIP Link: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600100307 Title: A Demon's Lust, A Monk's Desire Genre/Group: Inuyasha - Inuyasha/Miroku Summary: His hand travelled away from the monk's neck and up into his hair. He snagged a fistful and jerked his head to the side to reveal his pale neck. "I still want it. I want to hear you scream. The thought of you, vulnerable and begging..." Warnings: Anal, Angst, BP, D/s, Dom, Fet, Language, M/M, Oneshot, Oral, PWP, S&M, Tort, Violence, Yaoi Link: http://inu.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600095668 Title: Nights at the Twisted Dragon Genre/Group: Inuyasha AU/AR > Het - Male/Female Summary:Kagome and Sango were just two college dropouts, working at the best strip club in Yoshiwara, one of three Red Light Districts in Tokyo. They didn't expect things to be this complicated. Inu/Kag, Mir/San, Inu/Kik, Sess/Kag Warnings: Angst, AU/AR, H/C, D/s, Language, M/F, Oral, SoloM, Spank, WIP Link: http://inu.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600095577 Title: No Strings Attached Genre/Group: Games > A through F > Dungeons and Dragons Summary: A night of binge drinking leads to a human monk and a lillend getting frisky between the sheets Warnings: M/F, D/S, S/M, Bond, BP, PWP, WIP Link: http://games.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600084635

Time and time again, I've read stories where condoms aren't used in sex of any form, and I can understand not wanting to break up the flow of the story by having the characters stop to put them on, even if people would normally do so-- like during one-night stands and in instances where preventing pregnancy. But I prefer realism to what I read, even if I don't practice what I preach in my own writings, so sometimes it bothers me if no protection is used. I'm a strange lady, haha. Now, anal sex is not something I do often. In fact, I've tried it a few times, all unsuccessfully (because either the lube burned or I backed out, or something) except for my most recent go at it with my husband. And, for me, because it's something I do rarely, I find that I have this demanding need to be "clean" or-- more accurately-- "empty" before the act. I suppose it has to do with the stigma I have about it being "an exit, not an entrance", so I'm paranoid about my husband getting an infection or myself getting one by accident, even if he uses a condom and we change to a new one before vaginal sex. And I know there's no way for it to be 100-percent sanitary, and I'm not expecting that. I just prefer that there's nothing obstructing the path, as it were. Condoms are a no-go, because the rim of the condom can be felt if it goes inside and comes out during the thrusting. It's... weird. I guess herein lies my question. Since using enemas beforehand can kill the spontaneity of sex, how do other people handle this issue? Is it simply a "mind over matter" issue, or are there alternative methods that work for you guys? And I mean this not just with anal sex, but rimming as well. I suppose this could be seen as me just asking for advice, should I wish to try it again, but I'm also curious because it's never addressed in the stories on AFF and, as I said, I like ultra-realistic stuff and I like to improve my writing.

The myth that gets me, and makes me want to bludgeon people: Myth: All homosexuals are pedophiles. Umm, FALSE. I don't know where people get this idea, or even when I first heard this stupidity, but, there you go. That's like saying "all straight people can be trusted with children". Men rape/molest little girls and women rape/molest little boys in Hetero-land just as often as it occurs in in the homosexual world.

My first time was... interesting, to say the least. After two months of being with my boyfriend, we were watching The Lion King in the middle of the night and it came to the scene where Simba flops down into the grass and the dust particles spell out SFX (obviously short for Special Effects). Now, my mind works pretty quickly-- to the point where I sometimes have to backtrack and explain to people how I leaped from one topic of conversation to something completely unrelated. The train of thought is usually straight-forward, though. In this case, we were watching this scene and I recalled the urban legend about how it actually spelled "sex" and, being the hormone-addled teenager I was, I realized I'd never had any sexual encounters of my own (though there are many times I could have had them in even younger years, with prior boyfriends) and that I'd never gotten past heavy petting. I was mad for this boy, and I clearly wanted it, so I thought "Why not?" On what I can only call a whim, I told him to meet me in his sister's room after five minutes' time, and I gave no other explanation. Then I left. I know. His sister's room? There were only two bedrooms in his house, and his father and sister got priority. So, my boyfriend slept on the living room couch, usually. Luckily, his sister was rarely there because their father never really paid much attention to them. That was my mental process for deciding I wanted to go through with it. I can't really say I was nervous. Mainly, I think I wanted to be mischievous and seductive, so I waited for him-- nude-- under the covers. Of course, it was ruined because I didn't clean his sister's clutter off the bed as well as I thought and I had to toss a coat hanger to the side at some point, but I got the effect I had been after. Despite how forward and blunt i was about what I wanted, how wantonly I came across (I'm sure), he treated me reverently. It was a clumsy affair, as most First Time encounters are wont to be, especially if both partners are virgins... But for me, it didn't hurt. I was an active child, and I liked to experiment, so I'm sure that if I didn't rip my hymen while playing or riding my bike, I did it while "playing" with a few of my toys-- actual toys, for children. Still, my first time with a lover was completely pleasurable. Of course, also in my case, my first lover became my only lover, as after five years of dating I married that boy and we're working on getting our own place together... but that most definitely shouldn't be expected of every virginal couple. Life doesn't always work that way. *shrug* I feel like I've done more rambling than I've done helping, but... there you go. XD